View Full Version : Boy will be suspended if he goes to prom.
Margies3
05-08-2009, 09:11 PM
There is a big controversy going on here in our area. The story is that a young man goes to a school called Heritage Christian School in Findlay. His girlfriend goes to Findlay High School (public school). The Christian school has a policy not allowing their students to partake of dancing or rock music. However, this young man is planning to take his girlfriend to the prom at Findlay High School.
His stand, which his parents support, is that while he is at the school he abides by their rules. But he does not feel that the school should have control over what he does in his personal life.
The Christian school is saying that if he attends the prom he will be expelled from school and will not be able to participate in the graduation ceremonies for his class at the end of the month. He will receive his diploma, but he will not be allowed to be a part of the ceremonies.
What do you think? Should he have to abide by the school rules 24/7?
What about if he goes to a wedding reception where they are playing rock music and dancing? Should he be expelled just because he is there? How much authority should the school really have over a student's personal life?
Pragmatist
05-08-2009, 09:22 PM
Well, it's the school's right to make the rules, but I don't think the rules are appropriate. I would choose not to send my child to a school like that.
SOUNWORTHY
05-08-2009, 09:32 PM
If the student and the parents knew the rules when they enrolled the boy in the school then they need to abide by those rules. The school is right in enforcing the rules.
I taught in Christian schools for 15 years. I'm a firm believer in enforcing rules. If they aren't going to be enforced don't make them.
Sinatra
05-08-2009, 09:33 PM
I feel the school is out of line. They have the right to dictate policy for students while on campus and for school related functions. However, I don't think a school should be able to set policy for students when they are on their " own" time.
Sinatra
Truthseeker
05-08-2009, 09:37 PM
There is a big controversy going on here in our area. The story is that a young man goes to a school called Heritage Christian School in Findlay. His girlfriend goes to Findlay High School (public school). The Christian school has a policy not allowing their students to partake of dancing or rock music. However, this young man is planning to take his girlfriend to the prom at Findlay High School.
His stand, which his parents support, is that while he is at the school he abides by their rules. But he does not feel that the school should have control over what he does in his personal life.
The Christian school is saying that if he attends the prom he will be expelled from school and will not be able to participate in the graduation ceremonies for his class at the end of the month. He will receive his diploma, but he will not be allowed to be a part of the ceremonies.
What do you think? Should he have to abide by the school rules 24/7?
What about if he goes to a wedding reception where they are playing rock music and dancing? Should he be expelled just because he is there? How much authority should the school really have over a student's personal life?
Not unusual for christian school to have them rules. I'm sure the rule was in the student conduct manuel.
Twisp
05-08-2009, 10:43 PM
There is a big controversy going on here in our area. The story is that a young man goes to a school called Heritage Christian School in Findlay. His girlfriend goes to Findlay High School (public school). The Christian school has a policy not allowing their students to partake of dancing or rock music. However, this young man is planning to take his girlfriend to the prom at Findlay High School.
His stand, which his parents support, is that while he is at the school he abides by their rules. But he does not feel that the school should have control over what he does in his personal life.
The Christian school is saying that if he attends the prom he will be expelled from school and will not be able to participate in the graduation ceremonies for his class at the end of the month. He will receive his diploma, but he will not be allowed to be a part of the ceremonies.
What do you think? Should he have to abide by the school rules 24/7?
What about if he goes to a wedding reception where they are playing rock music and dancing? Should he be expelled just because he is there? How much authority should the school really have over a student's personal life?
Out of line or not, it would be helpful to learn the actual wording of the rule, as well as situations it would be enforced in. Would a student be expelled merely for listening to rock-ish type music on the radio?
It does seem like overstepping of bounds, but if the parents and the student knew about this rule ahead of time, and knew that these were the types of battles the school wanted to fight, I can't see how there is much they can do about it.
Pressing-On
05-08-2009, 11:52 PM
This thread reminded me of something I read the other day:
Mark Levin is correct in saying that this passion for equality is driven by the statist’s deep sense of inferiority. For the passion for equality is, at its core, a passion for anonymity. When the fabric of society is woven together in such a way that one thread cannot be distinguished from another, no judgment is possible. That is why the economic Marxist prefers a guaranteed average outcome. And it is why the cultural Marxist is receptive to the religion of moral relativism. - as quoted by Mike Adams from Mark Levin's book, Liberty and Tyranny: A Conservative Manifesto.
http://townhall.com/columnists/MikeAdams/2009/05/06/liberty_and_tyranny
What a country we had when morals were not questioned as rule of law, it was our way of life....when Harvard would expel a man for not abiding by the rules thus making himself of bad character....a reflection on the school itself.....expelled.
MissBrattified
05-09-2009, 05:28 AM
The school has every right to make rules for its students, and the students have the right to choose whether they attend, with full knowledge of the rules when they make the decision.
Personally, I think since it is a Christian school, and they presumably want their students to represent them well, it is perfectly acceptable to dictate their students' overall lifestyle and character.
What if one of their rules were "No taking drugs, even outside of school hours"? Would anyone be complaining about that? The principle is still the same. The student agreed to the rules when he enrolled. If he chooses to break the rules, he deserves expulsion.
Whether the rule is reasonable is irrelevant.
freeatlast
05-09-2009, 06:53 AM
The school is right to expect certain conduct from it's students outside of the school.
I can only assume that this student and his parents new this when they enrolled their child.
It seems the student has a choice to make. Is this girl and this prom/dance are more important to him than being able to attend his graduatin ceremony with his class.
He will receive his diploma either way, just not be able to receive it publicly, if he chooses to attend this prom.
What to do....what to do ???
Hoovie
05-09-2009, 08:08 AM
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090508/ap_on_re_us/us_school_dance_flap
I gotta say I admire the school. It's really not up to us to decide what their policies should be.
Twisp
05-09-2009, 08:27 AM
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090508/ap_on_re_us/us_school_dance_flap
I gotta say I admire the school. It's really not up to us to decide what their policies should be.
Thanks for the link. Gotta say this part struck me as funny:
"The handbook for the 84-student Christian school says rock music "is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people's hearts and minds."
What, are we in the 1950's still?
The parents and students should have read the letter of cooperation better at the beginning. I doubt I would have sent my child to a school that went to these extremes in the first place. To each his own.
Here's another article with video. Shows a snapshot on there of infractions you can possibly be suspended for. I would venture that most of us on this board could not make it through a full school year there. lol.
WTOL News (http://www.wtol.com/Global/story.asp?S=10331096#)
Hoovie
05-09-2009, 08:32 AM
Thanks for the link. Gotta say this part struck me as funny:
"The handbook for the 84-student Christian school says rock music "is part of the counterculture which seeks to implant seeds of rebellion in young people's hearts and minds."
What, are we in the 1950's still?
The parents and students should have read the letter of cooperation better at the beginning. I doubt I would have sent my child to a school that went to these extremes in the first place. To each his own.
I pretty much agree with the statement but it should be revised. I would say "much of today's rock music..."
Twisp
05-09-2009, 08:36 AM
I pretty much agree with the statement but it should be revised. I would say "much of today's rock music..."
While there are some that still inspires rebellion, I would not say most. I am thinking of a few off of the top of my head, and I cannot remember any rebellion inspiring lyrics in their songs. To say most would be hard to prove. There are some. Might even be more of a them than other genres. But saying "most" would be hard to prove.
Margies3
05-09-2009, 09:18 AM
Did you notice that this boy has attended this same school for the past 13 years?
edjen01
05-09-2009, 09:25 AM
do the crime....do the time.
as an educator I know exactly how it feels to have a student violate school rules and then have the parents support thier child's "rights". some...not all...parents are as guilty as the students for not reading the code of conduct.
Sister Alvear
05-09-2009, 11:46 AM
Not very pleasant for all involved. If we agree to any rules then they should be obeyed.
If we take up for our kids when they are wrong we live to regret it.
nahkoe
05-09-2009, 12:03 PM
I don't even understand why this is news?
The school has rules. The boy knows them. He's making a decision to either obey them, or not and live with the consequences.
What in this is newsworthy?
My question really is, are his parents really going to let him go to prom if they're sending him to such a conservative school anyhow? The sort of parents who usually choose those schools for their kids wouldn't let their kids dance anyhow.
Praxeas
05-09-2009, 12:37 PM
There is a big controversy going on here in our area. The story is that a young man goes to a school called Heritage Christian School in Findlay. His girlfriend goes to Findlay High School (public school). The Christian school has a policy not allowing their students to partake of dancing or rock music. However, this young man is planning to take his girlfriend to the prom at Findlay High School.
His stand, which his parents support, is that while he is at the school he abides by their rules. But he does not feel that the school should have control over what he does in his personal life.
The Christian school is saying that if he attends the prom he will be expelled from school and will not be able to participate in the graduation ceremonies for his class at the end of the month. He will receive his diploma, but he will not be allowed to be a part of the ceremonies.
What do you think? Should he have to abide by the school rules 24/7?
What about if he goes to a wedding reception where they are playing rock music and dancing? Should he be expelled just because he is there? How much authority should the school really have over a student's personal life?
If he wants to not be expelled then he should abide by the rules. It's a private school.
Now, on the other hand I think this decision by the school is asinine
Fiyahstarter
05-09-2009, 12:44 PM
I knew of a UPC school that had a rule that girls could not wear pants inside nor outside of school. It was a leftover rule of years past that really was not enforced... and it wasn't the only one. There were other unenforced rules of no theater, no worldly sports, no public swimming, no dancing. You know, your basic UPC "We wholeheartedly disapprove of anyone who" blah blah blah statement"
Yet this same school had a school-sponsored event to the (gasp, get this) to the ballet .....:crazy
Anyway... there were many "invasive" (JMO) rules included in that school manual that were NOT enforced (until they decided they REALLY wanted to get someone out. Then they could fall back on them if they wanted to).
Rules in the school manual need to be enforced OR removed. Same as the church manual. JMO (and not saying your school doesn't.)
Hoovie
05-09-2009, 12:45 PM
I don't even understand why this is news?
The school has rules. The boy knows them. He's making a decision to either obey them, or not and live with the consequences.
What in this is newsworthy?
My question really is, are his parents really going to let him go to prom if they're sending him to such a conservative school anyhow? The sort of parents who usually choose those schools for their kids wouldn't let their kids dance anyhow.
Well I don't know... we are conservative and to the right of most private schools in our homeschooling, but on stage as Otto Frank I danced a bit a couple weeks ago... LOL! Granted a bit different than a prom... but the point is, I would not be offended if my daughters wanted a dance or two at their wedding. I would have no clue on what grounds I would oppose it. I have no reason to believe Jesus refused or opposed dancing when he was on Earth.
Timmy
05-09-2009, 01:25 PM
Frost said he thought he had handled the situation properly. Findlay requires students from other schools attending the prom to get a signature from their principal, which Frost did.
"I expected a short lecture about making the right decisions and not doing something stupid," Frost said. "I thought I would get his signature and that would be the end."
England acknowledged signing the form but warned Frost there would be consequences if he attended the dance. England then took the issue to a school committee made up of church members, who decided to threaten Frost with suspension.
Why on Earth did the principal sign that form?
MissBrattified
05-09-2009, 04:10 PM
Why on Earth did the principal sign that form?
Ohhhhh, that puts a different twist on it. LOL!!! If the principal signed a form that is supposed to give the student permission to attend, and then tries to expel him--well. :)
Cindy
05-09-2009, 04:33 PM
Good grief.
If he wants to not be expelled then he should abide by the rules. It's a private school.
Now, on the other hand I think this decision by the school is asinine
Ditto me on this EXCEPT I think it was also wrong for the Christian School principal to sign the release form without specifying what the consequences would be if the kid went.
Crossfire
05-10-2009, 07:24 AM
It is so sad that some Baptists have stronger stances on holiness than some Apostolics.
Margies3
05-10-2009, 10:21 AM
For anyone interested, here is the article in today's today's Toledo Blade.
http://toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090510/NEWS16/905109981
Apparently he decided that experiencing prom was more important than experiencing his graduation ceremony. It'll be interesting to see what happens if the father does decide to pursue legal action.
jaxfam6
05-10-2009, 10:36 AM
For anyone interested, here is the article in today's today's Toledo Blade.
http://toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20090510/NEWS16/905109981
Apparently he decided that experiencing prom was more important than experiencing his graduation ceremony. It'll be interesting to see what happens if the father does decide to pursue legal action.
I think the school will be right in suspending him. It is part of their rules and the family agreed to them. If any court would side with the family they are opening a Pandora's Box and I think that most know it. Even if they did side with the family if it went to a higher court I think it would get over turned.
RandyWayne
05-10-2009, 11:02 AM
It is so sad that some Baptists have stronger stances on holiness than some Apostolics.
And what about those religious leaders in Jesus's day! Man of man, "we" can't hold a candle to their "standards"! How sad is that!
RandyWayne
05-10-2009, 11:04 AM
....and I actually side with the school on this one. No matter how silly a rule (or standard) may be, if you agree to it as a condition of joining before hand, they have every right to expect you to stand by it.
PraiseHymn
05-10-2009, 11:20 AM
A Christian School has the right to expell someone who goes against the doctrine of the school. Now, if this student never agreed to abide by the schools rules while off campus, then he SHOULD NOT be expelled, but if the schools agreement is that while on campus or off campus your not to go to dances, he needs to abide. There are wayyyyy too many private schools to choose from that will allow you to do whatever you want to do. He didn't have to go to a school that required obediance to the schools doctrine ON or OFF campus.
Seventh Day Adventist schools are the same way. Matter of fact, if you are a non-Adventist, your not allowed to wear earrings on campus, listen to worldly music nor eat pork anywhere near the school. If its found that your doing any of the above mentioned things, you get punished (which could lead to expulsion). The only difference is that an Adventist School wont exprell you for things you do outside of an Seventh Day Adventist environment.
I'm not Catholic, but I went to Catholic school and there were rules in place to follow. We could not have mustaches growing up (and they make you shave the minute they see your 4oclock Shadow). I did what I had to do, graduated and grew my mustache. Big deal.
Margies3
05-10-2009, 11:53 AM
If this was a public school, paid for by public funds, then maybe the argument could be made that the school has no right to tell a parent how to raise their own child. But it is not a public school. The parents chose this school. I think that puts a whole different spin on the matter.
on the other hand, my son goes to a public school. And if you want to play any sports at all, you agree to abide by the rules which include no drinking of any kind anywhere, absolutely no drugs at any time or any place and having a decent haircut. We had some boys a few months ago who went to a party, got drunk, were videotaped and that video was put on YouTube. Ooops! Guess what - they were suspended from playing sports for a long while. They knew the rule. They chose to disobey it. So they paid the price.
Could the argument be made that the same principle applies here? In my opinion, I think it does.
Does that mean I agree with their ridiculous rule? in NO WAY. But we're back to - the parents CHOSE this school and with this school comes these rules.
MissBrattified
05-10-2009, 11:57 AM
....and I actually side with the school on this one. No matter how silly a rule (or standard) may be, if you agree to it as a condition of joining before hand, they have every right to expect you to stand by it.
I agree with you. However, the principal should not have signed a permission slip and then said, "If you go, we'll expel you." What's the point of the permission slip, if not to give unfettered permission?
Overall, though, I agree--private schools have the right to make rules, and when you enroll, you agree to abide by those rules. Or accept the consequences.
The only snag is the principal's written consent, even if it was verbally withdrawn. The way it was presented, it almost sounds like he and the student might have a "history", which could either put more blame in the student's lap, or the principal could be deliberately putting the student in a hard spot.
As a parent, if a teacher (or principal) gave my child written permission to do something, and then said, "But if you do that[thing I gave you permission to do], I'll expel you", I would be pretty mad about it.
RandyWayne
05-10-2009, 12:03 PM
I agree with you. However, the principal should not have signed a permission slip and then said, "If you go, we'll expel you." What's the point of the permission slip, if not to give unfettered permission?
Overall, though, I agree--private schools have the right to make rules, and when you enroll, you agree to abide by those rules. Or accept the consequences.
The only snag is the principal's written consent, even if it was verbally withdrawn. The way it was presented, it almost sounds like he and the student might have a "history", which could either put more blame in the student's lap, or the principal could be deliberately putting the student in a hard spot.
As a parent, if a teacher (or principal) gave my child written permission to do something, and then said, "But if you do that[thing I gave you permission to do], I'll expel you", I would be pretty mad about it.
I was agreeing with the school on principle, but this whole permission form which was signed by the principle adds a new wrinkle to THIS specific case.
MissBrattified
05-10-2009, 12:07 PM
I was agreeing with the school on principle, but this whole permission form which was signed by the principle adds a new wrinkle to THIS specific case.
Got it! I think we're saying the same thing. :thumbsup :D
IMO, the school should let the student have his cake and eat it, too--simply because the principal gave him written permission to go. No matter what was discussed afterward.
And then the principal should be called on the carpet by the school board for causing the contradiction in the first place.
Praxeas
05-10-2009, 02:54 PM
I was agreeing with the school on principle, but this whole permission form which was signed by the principle adds a new wrinkle to THIS specific case.
You were agreeing with the school principal? Oh wait. Never mind!
Anyways. I think it was idiotic for the principle to sign the consent form
Crossfire
05-10-2009, 05:50 PM
And what about those religious leaders in Jesus's day! Man of man, "we" can't hold a candle to their "standards"! How sad is that!
He who hates standards, lives with a chaotic heart. The truth is, we have standards in everything we do. I would rather have something that God has spoken in His Word as a means of a fence spiritually to help me stay in, given by His amazing grace, than to live a life one foot in Hell and the other in the church door. It just is not worth seeing how far is too far before I fall.
jaxfam6
05-10-2009, 06:39 PM
Speaking of the permission slip, I thought the article, if not this one then one that I read, stated that the principal had signed but had warned that there may be consequences. If that is the case, he knew up front that he may pay a price for going to the dance.
Margies3
05-10-2009, 08:04 PM
Speaking of the permission slip, I thought the article, if not this one then one that I read, stated that the principal had signed but had warned that there may be consequences. If that is the case, he knew up front that he may pay a price for going to the dance.
Then why would the principal sign the permission slip? That's like saying to a kid, "If you go and play in the busy street, there will be a price to pay for your fun. Now go and play in the street." How stupid is that?? If you raising a child, then "NO" means "NO". To say "No" and then sign a permission slip giving permission to go and then turn right around and say "No" again........... well, even I find that to be a confusing message. How unfair is that to do that to a kid? IF he did sign the slip under those conditions, and if I was on their board, that man would be in jeapordy of losing his job. At the very least, he would be severely reprimanded.
RandyWayne
05-10-2009, 09:21 PM
He who hates standards, lives with a chaotic heart. The truth is, we have standards in everything we do. I would rather have something that God has spoken in His Word as a means of a fence spiritually to help me stay in, given by His amazing grace, than to live a life one foot in Hell and the other in the church door. It just is not worth seeing how far is too far before I fall.
Who's standards?
A very simple question..........
jaxfam6
05-10-2009, 11:40 PM
Then why would the principal sign the permission slip? That's like saying to a kid, "If you go and play in the busy street, there will be a price to pay for your fun. Now go and play in the street." How stupid is that?? If you raising a child, then "NO" means "NO". To say "No" and then sign a permission slip giving permission to go and then turn right around and say "No" again........... well, even I find that to be a confusing message. How unfair is that to do that to a kid? IF he did sign the slip under those conditions, and if I was on their board, that man would be in jeapordy of losing his job. At the very least, he would be severely reprimanded.
This is how I see it. The Principal had no way of stopping the boy from going. The boy wanted to go and ask for the permission slip to be signed because he had to have it to be able to attend. The Principal simply signed it with a warning saying, okay here you go, I have signed but you realize this is going to come at a price. You can use it and go or think it over and decide that you don't want to pay the price that is going to be charged. Who was the Principal to tell him he could not go? That was not the Principals job. He can not dictate what the boy does just inforce the rules of the school he is in charge of.
jaxfam6
05-10-2009, 11:42 PM
Who's standards?
A very simple question..........
you know by now that you are entering a circular argument here. This is just one of those things that keeps going round and round. Either they see it or they don't.
RandyWayne
05-10-2009, 11:50 PM
you know by now that you are entering a circular argument here. This is just one of those things that keeps going round and round. Either they see it or they don't.
Oh I know. <sigh>
And it usually also comes to someone making the "wouldn't you want to do too much then too little?" type argument as well.
jaxfam6
05-10-2009, 11:51 PM
Oh I know. <sigh>
And it usually also comes to someone making the "wouldn't you want to do too much then too little?" type argument as well.
exactly
which then brings us back to our works saving us rather than Him saving us.
acjcpastor
05-11-2009, 01:41 PM
Okay, the Christian school can publish and enforce whatever code of conduct they want. That is their prerogative and unless this is a special case of the school indiscriminately enforcing rules to punish a victim at whim and will, the parents would be fools to fight the schools decision.
Now I was raised in holiness and I didn’t go to dances when I was in High School. However, I did take my girlfriend to her prom. We went and enjoyed a “formal” evening, including a fine dinner with her classmates. But when the music and dancing start we excused ourselves and left. We didn’t need a school rule to direct our behavior in or out of the school environment. We had our own convictions and I can also say I was blessed to have a pastor who trusted me with my convictions. I think that is something that is missing in this equation. Even now as an adult in the business world, I have to travel around the country. Many times, I’ve had to meet co-workers or clients in a hotel and several will choose to meet in the lounge. I don’t give them a snobby “Oh I can’t go in there.” Moreover, I don’t have to compromise my convictions. It’s just a meeting place and we don’t stay there to drink like a fish. I rub shoulders with sinners everyday but that doesn’t mean I have to let sin rub off on me. IMHO, this kid could go to the prom, not dance, not enjoy the “rock” music, and not be suspended. It could even be God’s will that he go there to share the gospel with someone who may not otherwise make it to the morning after the prom.
MissBrattified
05-11-2009, 05:39 PM
Okay, the Christian school can publish and enforce whatever code of conduct they want. That is their prerogative and unless this is a special case of the school indiscriminately enforcing rules to punish a victim at whim and will, the parents would be fools to fight the schools decision.
Now I was raised in holiness and I didn’t go to dances when I was in High School. However, I did take my girlfriend to her prom. We went and enjoyed a “formal” evening, including a fine dinner with her classmates. But when the music and dancing start we excused ourselves and left. We didn’t need a school rule to direct our behavior in or out of the school environment. We had our own convictions and I can also say I was blessed to have a pastor who trusted me with my convictions. I think that is something that is missing in this equation. Even now as an adult in the business world, I have to travel around the country. Many times, I’ve had to meet co-workers or clients in a hotel and several will choose to meet in the lounge. I don’t give them a snobby “Oh I can’t go in there.” Moreover, I don’t have to compromise my convictions. It’s just a meeting place and we don’t stay there to drink like a fish. I rub shoulders with sinners everyday but that doesn’t mean I have to let sin rub off on me. IMHO, this kid could go to the prom, not dance, not enjoy the “rock” music, and not be suspended. It could even be God’s will that he go there to share the gospel with someone who may not otherwise make it to the morning after the prom.
I'm not opposed to rules, and from what I've read so far, most people think abiding by the rules is the right thing to do. (In regard to the school in question.)
However, did you read the part about the principal giving the student a signed permission slip to attend the prom? :coffee2
Hoovie
05-11-2009, 06:38 PM
Okay, the Christian school can publish and enforce whatever code of conduct they want. That is their prerogative and unless this is a special case of the school indiscriminately enforcing rules to punish a victim at whim and will, the parents would be fools to fight the schools decision.
Now I was raised in holiness and I didn’t go to dances when I was in High School. However, I did take my girlfriend to her prom. We went and enjoyed a “formal” evening, including a fine dinner with her classmates. But when the music and dancing start we excused ourselves and left. We didn’t need a school rule to direct our behavior in or out of the school environment. We had our own convictions and I can also say I was blessed to have a pastor who trusted me with my convictions. I think that is something that is missing in this equation. Even now as an adult in the business world, I have to travel around the country. Many times, I’ve had to meet co-workers or clients in a hotel and several will choose to meet in the lounge. I don’t give them a snobby “Oh I can’t go in there.” Moreover, I don’t have to compromise my convictions. It’s just a meeting place and we don’t stay there to drink like a fish. I rub shoulders with sinners everyday but that doesn’t mean I have to let sin rub off on me. IMHO, this kid could go to the prom, not dance, not enjoy the “rock” music, and not be suspended. It could even be God’s will that he go there to share the gospel with someone who may not otherwise make it to the morning after the prom.
This has been my experience as well. Many would disagree - and say entering a lounge or bar is sinful.
Perhaps you could start a new thread to discuss this.
Baron1710
05-11-2009, 06:47 PM
My children attend a private school and I have seen them attempt to control the activities of students outside of school on several occasions, with or without the school code of conduct. Including tying to determine who they should and shouldn't date. I wrote a letter to the administration at one point explaining to them I send my kids to a private school because I believe I know what is best for them and didn't need the usurping my roll as a parent when my kids where not under their supervision.
I also experienced similar attitudes when I attended a Mennonite school and the principle tried to tell me who I couldn't date.
RandyWayne
05-11-2009, 08:17 PM
My children attend a private school and I have seen them attempt to control the activities of students outside of school on several occasions, with or without the school code of conduct. Including tying to determine who they should and shouldn't date. I wrote a letter to the administration at one point explaining to them I send my kids to a private school because I believe I know what is best for them and didn't need the usurping my roll as a parent when my kids where not under their supervision.
I also experienced similar attitudes when I attended a Mennonite school and the principle tried to tell me who I couldn't date.
I have actually seen (heard of) far FAR more strict conditions involving Christian colleges (apostolic and otherwise) then I have ever seen (or heard of) with K-12 ones. What makes this seem worse is that we're dealing with adults when talking about college, not kids still living with their parents.
Then again, no Christian college can probably hold a candle to West Point academy when it comes to rules.......
Baron1710
05-12-2009, 07:15 AM
I have actually seen (heard of) far FAR more strict conditions involving Christian colleges (apostolic and otherwise) then I have ever seen (or heard of) with K-12 ones. What makes this seem worse is that we're dealing with adults when talking about college, not kids still living with their parents.
Then again, no Christian college can probably hold a candle to West Point academy when it comes to rules.......
Which is why we laugh and toss the mailings from Pensacola Christian College in the trash. My son said, "NO WAY" to the kind of control that school has. He is looking at Liberty University.
I am not a fan of never letting kids grow up, for them to grow up they have to make choices and take responsibility for those choices. The problem is we have people on one side who want to remove the tree from the garden, and those on the other side that want to let them stay after eating from the tree.
Twisp
05-12-2009, 07:29 AM
I'm not opposed to rules, and from what I've read so far, most people think abiding by the rules is the right thing to do. (In regard to the school in question.)
However, did you read the part about the principal giving the student a signed permission slip to attend the prom? :coffee2
From the first link:
England acknowledged signing the form but warned Frost there would be consequences if he attended the dance. England then took the issue to a school committee made up of church members, who decided to threaten Frost with suspension.
He was not giving him express approval. That brings a new light to this story for me. The principle could have been difficult and not signed it, thereby ensuring the young man would not go to prom. However, by signing it, it seems he gave the young man a choice. Nice restraint on the principle's part, seems like he did think this through.
On the other hand, what if the student did not dance or pay attention to the rock music (I know, he probably would)? He would not be partaking in it then. Seems like a slippery slope when you start enforcing rules based on what could happen or what people could do.
There is a big controversy going on here in our area. The story is that a young man goes to a school called Heritage Christian School in Findlay. His girlfriend goes to Findlay High School (public school). The Christian school has a policy not allowing their students to partake of dancing or rock music. However, this young man is planning to take his girlfriend to the prom at Findlay High School.
His stand, which his parents support, is that while he is at the school he abides by their rules. But he does not feel that the school should have control over what he does in his personal life.
The Christian school is saying that if he attends the prom he will be expelled from school and will not be able to participate in the graduation ceremonies for his class at the end of the month. He will receive his diploma, but he will not be allowed to be a part of the ceremonies.
What do you think? Should he have to abide by the school rules 24/7?
What about if he goes to a wedding reception where they are playing rock music and dancing? Should he be expelled just because he is there? How much authority should the school really have over a student's personal life?
Sorry I am late to the topic. I havent read everything here, but I would like to point out that students in public school here in the Dallas Area are required to abide by certain rules of conduct 24/7 or face disipline at school.
Now this mostly revolves around voluntary activities like kids playing sports cannot be caught with alcohol etc. but the principle is in tact.
that being voluntary activities come with strings.
This is a private school and attending this school is not compulsary. Attending a private school can and does require ones family to agree to some terms.
It is LEGAL for this school to do this. period. It is proper for any private school to seek students that conform to the private schools belief system.
The fact that these parents have sent thier kid to a school that they do not agree with is the greater ethical issue.
crakjak
05-12-2009, 09:19 AM
Well I don't know... we are conservative and to the right of most private schools in our homeschooling, but on stage as Otto Frank I danced a bit a couple weeks ago... LOL! Granted a bit different than a prom... but the point is, I would not be offended if my daughters wanted a dance or two at their wedding. I would have no clue on what grounds I would oppose it. I have no reason to believe Jesus refused or opposed dancing when he was on Earth.
I agree with you Stephen, my daughter and her husband had their first and second dance at her wedding two weeks ago. I will be posting more pictures in a few days.
My children attended a conservative private Christian school, and I agree that if you sign up for it, abide by the rules.
However, I did observe some lack of consistency, and some knee jerk reactions, but all in all, I appreciate having the option for my kids. I believe it help us parent them, having a school that pretty much aligned with our values.
Of course, this prom may not be dancing that I could approve. The type that I observed on the gym floor during the Mavericks first win in the series last night I would have to expel the kid if he participated in any of that. lol
Quite disgusting.
Rhoni
05-12-2009, 02:29 PM
There is a big controversy going on here in our area. The story is that a young man goes to a school called Heritage Christian School in Findlay. His girlfriend goes to Findlay High School (public school). The Christian school has a policy not allowing their students to partake of dancing or rock music. However, this young man is planning to take his girlfriend to the prom at Findlay High School.
His stand, which his parents support, is that while he is at the school he abides by their rules. But he does not feel that the school should have control over what he does in his personal life.
The Christian school is saying that if he attends the prom he will be expelled from school and will not be able to participate in the graduation ceremonies for his class at the end of the month. He will receive his diploma, but he will not be allowed to be a part of the ceremonies.
What do you think? Should he have to abide by the school rules 24/7?
What about if he goes to a wedding reception where they are playing rock music and dancing? Should he be expelled just because he is there? How much authority should the school really have over a student's personal life?
So much legalism...you know what I would say to that:foottap. The young man should leave that Christian school and go to a public school where he can be a light and not hid under a bushel at such a legalistic, condemnational school.:thumbsup
Blessings, Rhoni
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