View Full Version : I know this is common but..
giftofgrace
06-26-2009, 10:44 AM
I feel like such an alien at work. The other places I've worked at were alot worse than the one I'm at now though, I work with mostly older women, some younger ones. So it's not as bad as working with a group of nothing but 20-something guys. I am not sheltered by any means from the world and the things in it, it's even in my house, I am out quite a bit. I really do try and be friends with everyone as much as I can, without compromising anything, but it's very hard to get around with some of the people. I feel like I can witness to them, say hi and goodbye and talk about our lives for a while, and then that's as far as it can go before the conversation turns innapropriate or they are turned off after hearing that I am a christian. I know we cannot be friends with the world, I believe this to be meaning hanging around and fellowshipping often, because eventually it will distract your mind off of godly things sooner or later. I know this, yet it still is rough feeling like such an alien from everybody, I leave work often feeling accomplished yet lonely alot of the time. Before work every day I make sure I have prayed, and meditated on the Bible to make sure I go in with the right mindset, I know it's the wise thing to do yet the loneliness does kick in. Just wanted to vent... How do you guys deal with it?
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 10:55 AM
Just close yourself off in a box..LOL and don't come out... if I am around someone and I don't like what they are doing or how they are talking I just leave. See thats the thing about pentecostals you guys paint the world as doom and gloom just close yourself up in a box and don't use your better judgement..God put me in this world I fell like he wants me to make the most of it.....
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 11:00 AM
Kind of like the whole dress to be diffrent from the world thing...Other women that are not UPC wear skirts and dresses so yall are not to diffrent from the rest of the world....
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 11:09 AM
How come you think hanging around with friends will distract your off godly things what happenen when you hang around your church friends....
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 11:17 AM
I can go up to anyone at my work and have a nice conversation with them but I am not going to bring the bible into it if they want to know about it they will ask....
Sister Alvear
06-26-2009, 11:20 AM
I don't think we have to PUSH what we believe on anyone...if we are a christian they will know it and will respect us for being one. If we have to go into long conversations then we probably are not coming across as a christian...
Even the devil knows a real christian...
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 11:23 AM
Sis Alvear very good words if they are interested in the way I live and see me happy all the time they will ask about it then I will tell them.....
Aquila
06-26-2009, 11:24 AM
Honestly, I don't really talk about my faith at work. However, I try to demonstrate high standards of integrity and accountability. I don't do what I call, "scattered seed", witnessing. So I don't "witness" everywhere talking about it all the time etc. Typically I've found this to turn folks off more than interest them. I try to pray and be sensitive to the Spirit so that I can find those who are "searching" or "open". Then I pray for God to have them bring something up that opens the door to share the Gospel. I can honeslty say that the four people I've won in this manner have had more stick-to-itiveness when it comes to attending church. The random scattered seed people typically turn me off, or if they do come to church it's a one or two time deal... or they find something else to do later down the line. So I just try to be myself.
I also don't go out of my way to be "righteous". I know that sounds bad. I might laugh at a joke and say, "Now, you guys know how wrong that is." I don't really instigate that kind of humor regularly (I've had my carnal moments) but I'm no Mother Theresa. Those who find out about my faith typically aren't surprized but they say that I'm "cool" and that more Christians need to "lighten up". Then it's common for one of them to come to me for private advice about things or to get what I think about an issue they're facing. It's nice... they know I don't judge no matter what they're into or up against.
Also, I see little wrong with an occasional drink. I don't get drunk, but I've gone out with co-workers after work and had "a" drink and normally leave after a while (long before they do typically). I had one of the best compliments from a co-worker once. She didn't say that I was "religious" or anything like that, she said to my wife that I was a, "good man." That was one of the best things I've heard said about me.
I don't really separate myself from sinners. I like hanging out with them more than saints on a lot of occasions because they're real and they talk straight up even if using words that might make one cringe. Saints paint the smile and act like everything's fantastic... even if they're sinning or struggling with their faith. Why? I don't know... maybe they think that I'll judge them, gossip, or think less of them. I have a friend who fell into some deep sin, he knows how I am, and this brother opened up about it. I wasn't super spiritual, nor did I threaten him with Hell. I talked with him about the down to earth aspects of what was happening. How would his wife and kids feel, is it who he wants to be, what he should do to get back on track, etc. And he knew his issue was private with me. Thankfully, he fixed the situation before it got blown wide open and a lot of people were hurt. He then asked me, "Should I tell anyone about what happened?" I said, "No. You've talked to the Lord, repented, and fixed it. Talking about it will only leave a lot of people hurt and confused. Move on now. Lesson learned. You're a good man and good men do dumb things too. Now live for today with tomorrow in view." And that was it.
Don't know... I used to isolate myself.... but now I'll go out of my way not to. Sometimes I find myself in mature conversations and places I wouldn't always go... but hey... Jesus didn't hang out at the Temple with the religious folk all the time... he rolled with prostitutes, sinners, and tax collectors. Religion isolates. Jesus came that we might have life. And sometimes, well, that life is very real and it doesn't always fit the "mold".
Just my thoughts.
God bless.
giftofgrace
06-26-2009, 11:31 AM
Er, sounds like some people missed the point of my post a little and have pegged me as having a Pharisee-type spirit. Maybe I should have explained more :P
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 11:34 AM
It sounded to me like you have a conversation with these people yall get to talking and somehow it gets turned to religion and then your friends don't want to talk anymore..Thats what I get out of it...
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 11:35 AM
GOG you might want to give more detail perhaps
n david
06-26-2009, 11:48 AM
I feel like such an alien at work. The other places I've worked at were alot worse than the one I'm at now though, I work with mostly older women, some younger ones. So it's not as bad as working with a group of nothing but 20-something guys. I am not sheltered by any means from the world and the things in it, it's even in my house, I am out quite a bit. I really do try and be friends with everyone as much as I can, without compromising anything, but it's very hard to get around with some of the people. I feel like I can witness to them, say hi and goodbye and talk about our lives for a while, and then that's as far as it can go before the conversation turns innapropriate or they are turned off after hearing that I am a christian. I know we cannot be friends with the world, I believe this to be meaning hanging around and fellowshipping often, because eventually it will distract your mind off of godly things sooner or later. I know this, yet it still is rough feeling like such an alien from everybody, I leave work often feeling accomplished yet lonely alot of the time. Before work every day I make sure I have prayed, and meditated on the Bible to make sure I go in with the right mindset, I know it's the wise thing to do yet the loneliness does kick in. Just wanted to vent... How do you guys deal with it?
Just close yourself off in a box..LOL and don't come out... if I am around someone and I don't like what they are doing or how they are talking I just leave. See thats the thing about pentecostals you guys paint the world as doom and gloom just close yourself up in a box and don't use your better judgement..God put me in this world I fell like he wants me to make the most of it.....
Kind of like the whole dress to be diffrent from the world thing...Other women that are not UPC wear skirts and dresses so yall are not to diffrent from the rest of the world....
Uhm ... wow
KWSS1976 - really? That's a bit harsh. I think you took a left turn somewhere and went off the road into the woods.
Anyway, I sometimes feel the same way at work ... and I don't close myself in a box or whatever else KWSS1976 said.
giftofgrace
06-26-2009, 11:52 AM
Well, usually they will ask me questions about things after a while or make comments, and it ends up in me telling them I'm a christian and some people get turned off immediately and kind of leave the conversation. Or some people think its neat and ask me questions. I meant when someone starts gossiping or something I let them know I don't wanna get into that particular subject, and most people respect it, or don't talk anymore. I have people tell me that I don't act like "other christians" because I guess I actually try and befriend them and am interested in their lives. I know exactly what you mean about people who live in a box and get some kind of better-than-you-complex. I don't know how you got that from me, sorry if I somehow came off that way. I think we should be out there trying to befriend everyone we can, outside of church, show them God's love. But there is a difference. Jesus met sinners where they were at, doesn't mean he partook of the things they were doing. Understand what I mean?
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 12:05 PM
If these friends are doing something you don't agree with then GOG just don't follow them in it still be there friends just don't partake in what ever it is they are doing I got friends that go to the bar every night I do not go with them because I do not like it but I am still friends with them and they know I do not like the bar it has nothing to do with me and being a christian or UPC I just don't like it I went once and did not care for it.....
giftofgrace
06-26-2009, 12:11 PM
I understand that. The conversation got a little carried away though..
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 12:15 PM
Well if it went somewhere you did not like just tell them you have to get back to work and let them continue talking..
KWSS1976
06-26-2009, 12:19 PM
If you don't mind what was being discussed in this conversation
Sister Alvear
06-26-2009, 12:55 PM
Er, sounds like some people missed the point of my post a little and have pegged me as having a Pharisee-type spirit. Maybe I should have explained more :P
no I don't think you are a Pharisee...I have worked over the years on the mission field as a missionary but have also held public jobs...I was different...first because I am a foreigner...I dress different than some however I have always had lots of friends...Just be true to yourself...Religion turns some people off but there are other things to talk about...
I taught a group of doctors most did not even believe in God and of course none believed in Him the way I do...However we had good classes...I can joke about myself and take what people say with a smile...
Our gestures, our personal standards that we live speak worlds about us...
I guess I had a copy key for all the schools I taught in...Most did not believe like I do but they trusted me with their keys and whatever at the schools...
I have found out no one has to be like I am or look or dress like me to be their friend...Just take people as they are and build a relationship...:thumbsup
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