General Conference Predictions...

[houstonupci]

I'd love to hear all the GC predictions. What's going to be the "soapbox" of choice this year? What will be the recurring theme? What will we all be talking about until GC rolls around next year?

That being said, I'm really looking forward to the Sunday night crusade. God let your Power fall in Houston.

[Jack Shephard]

The reoccuring theme will be CHANGE.

[berkeley]

Apostolic identity

[Mr. Smith]

I'd love to hear all the GC predictions. What's going to be the "soapbox" of choice this year? What will be the recurring theme? What will we all be talking about until GC rolls around next year?

That being said, I'm really looking forward to the Sunday night crusade. God let your Power fall in Houston.


1) People will dress in their best expensive clothes they just bought.
2) People will "Shout".
3) People will gossip out in the lobby rather than sit in the service.
4) Single guys will be on the prowl for single girls.
5) Single girls will be strutting their stuff for single guys.
6) Trinitarians will be bashed.
7) The three steps will be reinforced.
8) ...895 times.
9) Acts 2:38 will be quoted.
10) ...and quoted.
11) ...and quoted.
12) People will eat WAY too much at Denny's at midnight.
13) They won't leave good tips.
14) Evangelists will network desperately for revivals.
15) Pastors that are sick of their churches will put out "Feelers" for a new place to go.
16) Standards will be preached.
17) ...and preached.
18) ...and preached.
19) But people will still eat too much.


And there you have it. Save your registration fee, I covered the entire thing for ya.

[deadeye]

The reoccuring theme will be CHANGE.



Hope and Change

[Jack Shephard]

1) People will dress in their best expensive clothes they just bought.
2) People will "Shout".
3) People will gossip out in the lobby rather than sit in the service.
4) Single guys will be on the prowl for single girls.
5) Single girls will be strutting their stuff for single guys.
6) Trinitarians will be bashed.
7) The three steps will be reinforced.
8) ...895 times.
9) Acts 2:38 will be quoted.
10) ...and quoted.
11) ...and quoted.
12) People will eat WAY too much at Denny's at midnight.
13) They won't leave good tips.
14) Evangelists will network desperately for revivals.
15) Pastors that are sick of their churches will put out "Feelers" for a new place to go.
16) Standards will be preached.
17) ...and preached.
18) ...and preached.
19) But people will still eat too much.


And there you have it. Save your registration fee, I covered the entire thing for ya.

You are Dead on.

[Jack Shephard]

Hope and Change

That is our hope is change!

[crakjak]

1) People will dress in their best expensive clothes they just bought.
2) People will "Shout".
3) People will gossip out in the lobby rather than sit in the service.
4) Single guys will be on the prowl for single girls.
5) Single girls will be strutting their stuff for single guys.
6) Trinitarians will be bashed.
7) The three steps will be reinforced.
8) ...895 times.
9) Acts 2:38 will be quoted.
10) ...and quoted.
11) ...and quoted.
12) People will eat WAY too much at Denny's at midnight.
13) They won't leave good tips.
14) Evangelists will network desperately for revivals.
15) Pastors that are sick of their churches will put out "Feelers" for a new place to go.
16) Standards will be preached.
17) ...and preached.
18) ...and preached.
19) But people will still eat too much.


And there you have it. Save your registration fee, I covered the entire thing for ya.

You are so bad!!

[POWERUP]

1) People will dress in their best expensive clothes they just bought.
2) People will "Shout".
3) People will gossip out in the lobby rather than sit in the service.
4) Single guys will be on the prowl for single girls.
5) Single girls will be strutting their stuff for single guys.
6) Trinitarians will be bashed.
7) The three steps will be reinforced.
8) ...895 times.
9) Acts 2:38 will be quoted.
10) ...and quoted.
11) ...and quoted.
12) People will eat WAY too much at Denny's at midnight.
13) They won't leave good tips.
14) Evangelists will network desperately for revivals.
15) Pastors that are sick of their churches will put out "Feelers" for a new place to go.
16) Standards will be preached.
17) ...and preached.
18) ...and preached.
19) But people will still eat too much.


And there you have it. Save your registration fee, I covered the entire thing for ya.

Sad to say, but your pretty much right!!!!!

[Sister Alvear]

Mr Smith has just won a trophy for being Psych....

[Mr. Smith]

1) People will dress in their best expensive clothes they just bought.
2) People will "Shout".
3) People will gossip out in the lobby rather than sit in the service.
4) Single guys will be on the prowl for single girls.
5) Single girls will be strutting their stuff for single guys.
6) Trinitarians will be bashed.
7) The three steps will be reinforced.
8) ...895 times.
9) Acts 2:38 will be quoted.
10) ...and quoted.
11) ...and quoted.
12) People will eat WAY too much at Denny's at midnight.
13) They won't leave good tips.
14) Evangelists will network desperately for revivals.
15) Pastors that are sick of their churches will put out "Feelers" for a new place to go.
16) Standards will be preached.
17) ...and preached.
18) ...and preached.
19) But people will still eat too much.


And there you have it. Save your registration fee, I covered the entire thing for ya.


Several things have come to mind since I posted my 100% accurate prophecy:

20) There will also be single guys on the prowl for other single guys.
21) Pastors and especially, pastor's children will catch up on all their TV watching in the hotel room.
22) The evening preachers will be rated against one another to determine who was best and who wasn't so good.
23) At least one speaker will take advantage of the opportunity to set every person straight that's in the UPC.
24) A trophy will be presented to the fastest growing church which grew with the same people from last year's fastest growing church.
25) Credit cards will be maxed out on clothes, food, clothes, food, clothes and food.

[berkeley]

Number 20... heh. Wouldn't believe it, but I visited a conference for the A.A. There were boys so queer, a Baptist could discern it.

[Sam]

1) People will dress in their best expensive clothes they just bought.
2) People will "Shout".
3) People will gossip out in the lobby rather than sit in the service.
4) Single guys will be on the prowl for single girls.
5) Single girls will be strutting their stuff for single guys.
6) Trinitarians will be bashed.
7) The three steps will be reinforced.
8) ...895 times.
9) Acts 2:38 will be quoted.
10) ...and quoted.
11) ...and quoted.
12) People will eat WAY too much at Denny's at midnight.
13) They won't leave good tips.
14) Evangelists will network desperately for revivals.
15) Pastors that are sick of their churches will put out "Feelers" for a new place to go.
16) Standards will be preached.
17) ...and preached.
18) ...and preached.
19) But people will still eat too much.


And there you have it. Save your registration fee, I covered the entire thing for ya.

And a good time was had by all.

[Timmy]

One of the evening services will be boratted.

:D

[Mr. Smith]

One of the evening services will be boratted.

:D


If only......

[Timmy]

If only......

Houston's not that far from Austin... :hmmm

[iceniez]

Number 20... heh. Wouldn't believe it, but I visited a conference for the A.A. There were boys so queer, a Baptist could discern it.

:toofunny

[DAII]

Several things have come to mind since I posted my 100% accurate prophecy:

20) There will also be single guys on the prowl for other single guys.
21) Pastors and especially, pastor's children will catch up on all their TV watching in the hotel room.
22) The evening preachers will be rated against one another to determine who was best and who wasn't so good.
23) At least one speaker will take advantage of the opportunity to set every person straight that's in the UPC.
24) A trophy will be presented to the fastest growing church which grew with the same people from last year's fastest growing church.
25) Credit cards will be maxed out on clothes, food, clothes, food, clothes and food.

Nothing like modesty.

[DAII]

Several things have come to mind since I posted my 100% accurate prophecy:

20) There will also be single guys on the prowl for other single guys.
21) Pastors and especially, pastor's children will catch up on all their TV watching in the hotel room.
22) The evening preachers will be rated against one another to determine who was best and who wasn't so good.
23) At least one speaker will take advantage of the opportunity to set every person straight that's in the UPC.
24) A trophy will be presented to the fastest growing church which grew with the same people from last year's fastest growing church.
25) Credit cards will be maxed out on clothes, food, clothes, food, clothes and food.

After the tongue-lashing and butt whooping by Jeff Arnold or some other in your face preacher ... it will go down as the best preaching/pummeling ever at a GC.

I don't get the masochistic view. And yet they say EMERGENTS like self-flagellation.

[berkeley]

:toofunny

wot?

[Aquila]

I predict that there will be a general conference and that they will raise a lot of money.

[Timmy]

http://apostolicfriendsforum.com/image.php?u=387&dateline=1268869130

[Timmy]

http://apostolicfriendsforum.com/image.php?u=387&dateline=1268869130

Oh, wait. Is GS up for election? Or do I have to wait for another GC?

[KWSS1976]

Speaking of modesty we had a preacher and his wife join us for Church the other Sunday he was an Apostolic preacher and his wife had on a skirt that just cleared the knee and when she sat down it came up above the knee had on some glasses that had diamonds in them and some sexy looking shoes..I though it was so funny cause I know at one time he has preached on modesty and nothing his wife had on would classify as Apostolic modesty..I just love watching how the apostolic/upc is changing.. I am talking this lady could pass very well on a street corner the way she was dressed...lol

[ImThankful]

Speaking of modesty we had a preacher and his wife join us for Church the other Sunday he was an Apostolic preacher and his wife had on a skirt that just cleared the knee and when she sat down it came up above the knee had on some glasses that had diamonds in them and some sexy looking shoes..I though it was so funny cause I know at one time he has preached on modesty and nothing his wife had on would classify as Apostolic modesty..I just love watching how the apostolic/upc is changing.. I am talking this lady could pass very well on a street corner the way she was dressed...lol

The sad thing is, They probuibly didnt even realize this. Just because you wear a dress doesnt make it modest apparel!

[pelathais]

I predict that there will be a general conference and that they will raise a lot of money.

... but it won't be nearly enough and much of what was "raised" will never be collected.

[Mr. Smith]

1) People will dress in their best expensive clothes they just bought.
2) People will "Shout".
3) People will gossip out in the lobby rather than sit in the service.
4) Single guys will be on the prowl for single girls.
5) Single girls will be strutting their stuff for single guys.
6) Trinitarians will be bashed.
7) The three steps will be reinforced.
8) ...895 times.
9) Acts 2:38 will be quoted.
10) ...and quoted.
11) ...and quoted.
12) People will eat WAY too much at Denny's at midnight.
13) They won't leave good tips.
14) Evangelists will network desperately for revivals.
15) Pastors that are sick of their churches will put out "Feelers" for a new place to go.
16) Standards will be preached.
17) ...and preached.
18) ...and preached.
19) But people will still eat too much.


And there you have it. Save your registration fee, I covered the entire thing for ya.

Several things have come to mind since I posted my 100% accurate prophecy:

20) There will also be single guys on the prowl for other single guys.
21) Pastors and especially, pastor's children will catch up on all their TV watching in the hotel room.
22) The evening preachers will be rated against one another to determine who was best and who wasn't so good.
23) At least one speaker will take advantage of the opportunity to set every person straight that's in the UPC.
24) A trophy will be presented to the fastest growing church which grew with the same people from last year's fastest growing church.
25) Credit cards will be maxed out on clothes, food, clothes, food, clothes and food.


I have been gently made aware that I am out-of-date, which I can't argue with since I have been to a General Conference in ions. I now know that Denny's has been replaced by The Cheesecake Factory as the primary choice of the GC Overeaters Club. Also, my inside source tells me that everybody watches TV at home so General Conference is no longer the ultimate destination for the TV-deprived. This concerns me, however. If this is true, this is going to kill the attendance. Heck, that's the only reason I ever wanted to go!! If it weren't for the annual General Conference, I'd have never understood the greatness of Rockford Files, Happy Days, Three's Company, Hill Street Blues, LA Law, movies like Karate Kid, and First Blood...Thank God for General Conference!!

[Jack Shephard]

I have been gently made aware that I am out-of-date, which I can't argue with since I have been to a General Conference in ions. I now know that Denny's has been replaced by The Cheesecake Factory as the primary choice of the GC Overeaters Club. Also, my inside source tells me that everybody watches TV at home so General Conference is no longer the ultimate destination for the TV-deprived. This concerns me, however. If this is true, this is going to kill the attendance. Heck, that's the only reason I ever wanted to go!! If it weren't for the annual General Conference, I'd have never understood the greatness of Rockford Files, Happy Days, Three's Company, Hill Street Blues, LA Law, movies like Karate Kid, and First Blood...Thank God for General Conference!!

We should go to a GC and raise cain.

[Mr. Smith]

We should go to a GC and raise cain.


I'm just wondering....does anyone get in for free now? Presbyters? District or general "officials"? Anyone know?

[Jack Shephard]

I'm just wondering....does anyone get in for free now? Presbyters? District or general "officials"? Anyone know?

I do. I sneak in. I am like a party crasher for GC.

[Mr. Smith]

I do. I sneak in. I am like a party crasher for GC.

Do you feel guilty?

[Jack Shephard]

Do you feel guilty?

Nope. Grace covers that I do believe.

[Mr. Smith]

Nope. Grace covers that I do believe.


You savin' the money for the Cheesecake Factory afterwards?

[Jack Shephard]

Nope. I try to stay away from those places. You get fatter by just walking in a place like that. Any place that sells Fried Mac and Cheese is not a place I need to eat too often.

[smurfette]

1) People will dress in their best expensive clothes they just bought.
2) People will "Shout".
3) People will gossip out in the lobby rather than sit in the service.
4) Single guys will be on the prowl for single girls.
5) Single girls will be strutting their stuff for single guys.
6) Trinitarians will be bashed.
7) The three steps will be reinforced.
8) ...895 times.
9) Acts 2:38 will be quoted.
10) ...and quoted.
11) ...and quoted.
12) People will eat WAY too much at Denny's at midnight.
13) They won't leave good tips.
14) Evangelists will network desperately for revivals.
15) Pastors that are sick of their churches will put out "Feelers" for a new place to go.
16) Standards will be preached.
17) ...and preached.
18) ...and preached.
19) But people will still eat too much.


And there you have it. Save your registration fee, I covered the entire thing for ya.

HA! Sounds about right!

[Mr. Smith]

Nope. I try to stay away from those places. You get fatter by just walking in a place like that. Any place that sells Fried Mac and Cheese is not a place I need to eat too often.


Well, uhhhhhhhhhh........I better just shut up at this point.

[Jack Shephard]

I didn't mean YOU specifically.

[crakjak]

I have been gently made aware that I am out-of-date, which I can't argue with since I have been to a General Conference in ions. I now know that Denny's has been replaced by The Cheesecake Factory as the primary choice of the GC Overeaters Club. Also, my inside source tells me that everybody watches TV at home so General Conference is no longer the ultimate destination for the TV-deprived. This concerns me, however. If this is true, this is going to kill the attendance. Heck, that's the only reason I ever wanted to go!! If it weren't for the annual General Conference, I'd have never understood the greatness of Rockford Files, Happy Days, Three's Company, Hill Street Blues, LA Law, movies like Karate Kid, and First Blood...Thank God for General Conference!!

So Bad!!

[crakjak]

Number 20... heh. Wouldn't believe it, but I visited a conference for the A.A. There were boys so queer, a Baptist could discern it.

Who is AA?