Not Just A Mom

[KeptByTheWord]

In this politically correct world we live in, being a mother has been delegated to its lowest status ever. In the years since World War II, women have increasingly been putting the status of being a mother at the bottom of the list of things that they would choose to be. Many women have sought careers, leadership positions, and fame at the cost of motherhood.

I would like to bring the focus of this particular thread to where you can speak out and say what you think about being a mother. Share whether your mother there for you... are you able to be there for your children... and what do you think about the "profession" of motherhood?

Do you feel that society looks at you as if you are "just a mom" if you stay at home, and take care of your family?

If you are a mom who has placed your highest priority as a woman on being the best mother to your children and wife to your husband, please share your thoughts.

If you feel that motherhood is not the highest calling for a woman, and that a career should be placed ahead of being a mother, or another view I have failed to illustrate, please share why you feel this way.

I look forward to the responses :)

[KeptByTheWord]

The reason I open this thought for discussion, is because I was blessed to have the most loving, compassionate, giving, unselfish, hard working mother anyone could ask for. I consider myself highly blessed that she was there for each one of us growing up, and gave of herself until she was exhausted. She was always there when we came home from school, and we were blessed to eat the fruit of her labors as she gardened, canned, and baked wholesome wonderful food for us. I consider myself truly blessed to have such a godly wonderful mother.

I just recently finished reading a book called "Not Just A Mom" written by Lisa Anderson. In this book, Lisa seeks to encourage women to not be ashamed to be called a mother, but that it is really our highest calling and original God-given design. A great book to read that encourages women everywhere to realize that being a mother is not something to be ashamed of, but something that God places great value upon.

It was a refreshing read to be encouraged that being a mom to my children, and wife to my husband is a calling that God has designed me for, and I am thankful that I have been blessed to stay at home with my children, and work in a family business with my husband.

[John1:12-14]

Mom's suffer a lot

[ILG]

Share whether your mother there for you... are you able to be there for your children... and what do you think about the "profession" of motherhood?

My mother was always there for us. She did work outside the home, but without ever discussing it, we always knew we were her first priority. The jobs she had were always taken around our school schedule. She was always there for every concert, parent teacher conference, or anything else she was needed for. She faithfully drove us all over. She was a small branch bank manager and her hours were from 9-3, same as school. She always cooked, cleaned and did whatever needed doing. She is a great Mom. :thumbsup

I was at home for my kids and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I think that motherhood should definitely be further up on the scale in people's priority lists.

Do you feel that society looks at you as if you are "just a mom" if you stay at home, and take care of your family?

Yes, for sure.

[KeptByTheWord]

Mom's suffer a lot

I'm not sure I know what you mean, but I am assuming you mean that mom's tend to carry a big responsibility in the care of a home, and are willing to make sacrifices in order to see that their family is taken care of?

[KeptByTheWord]

My mother was always there for us. She did work outside the home, but without ever discussing it, we always knew we were her first priority. The jobs she had were always taken around our school schedule. She was always there for every concert, parent teacher conference, or anything else she was needed for. She faithfully drove us all over. She was a small branch bank manager and her hours were from 9-3, same as school. She always cooked, cleaned and did whatever needed doing. She is a great Mom. :thumbsup

That is so awesome. You are blessed indeed!

I was at home for my kids and I wouldn't have had it any other way.

I'm thankful I have been able to be there for my kids and husband too. I have worked outside the time for a short time, and found it very difficult to juggle all the responsibilities of home and work. My hat is off to those women who have no choice but to do so. It's so tough. Being home and taking care of my family is where I'm happiest.

[Praxeas]

Mom is one of the few words spelled backwards that still spells the same word....:icecream

[Pressing-On]

Mom is one of the few words spelled backwards that still spells the same word....:icecream

WOW, thanks for that! I always thought I was spelling it wrong. :gaga

[Praxeas]

WOW, thanks for that! I always thought I was spelling it wrong. :gaga

:happydance

[Adam]

My mom personally feels that motherhood is not the highest calling for a woman. She wishes she had been a man. She is a staunch believer in abortion, having had one herself. She will tear you a new one if you ever challenge her on it. She has abused alcohol, drugs, cursed and swore, very arrogant, heady, high-minded, interrupts conversations, I could go on. She despises church going people. Yet, despite all this, I consider her my best friend because I can talk to her about anything. And, when my dad died when I was 12 and it was just her and me, she didn't abandon me. She never spanked me, and kept my father from spanking me as well. We always talked through everything. She's a character, read every book in the library, deaf as a board, loved by many. I'm fairly certain, though, that she wishes she could have had a fulfilling career, instead of being "pushed" by her parents into motherhood, and not encouraged to get an education.

[ILG]

Being home and taking care of my family is where I'm happiest.

Me too. Some women claim they are happier working. I've never understood that. Maybe someone can enlighten me.

[ILG]

WOW, thanks for that! I always thought I was spelling it wrong. :gaga

WOW is the same thing. :)

[KeptByTheWord]

My mom personally feels that motherhood is not the highest calling for a woman. She wishes she had been a man. She is a staunch believer in abortion, having had one herself. She will tear you a new one if you ever challenge her on it. She has abused alcohol, drugs, cursed and swore, very arrogant, heady, high-minded, interrupts conversations, I could go on. She despises church going people. Yet, despite all this, I consider her my best friend because I can talk to her about anything. And, when my dad died when I was 12 and it was just her and me, she didn't abandon me. She never spanked me, and kept my father from spanking me as well. We always talked through everything. She's a character, read every book in the library, deaf as a board, loved by many. I'm fairly certain, though, that she wishes she could have had a fulfilling career, instead of being "pushed" by her parents into motherhood, and not encouraged to get an education.

Thanks for taking the time to respond Adam.

In essence from what you've said, your mother feels that her lack of education caused her to miss out on good things in life, and the fact that her life wasn't so great was in part was because she felt she was "pushed" to choose motherhood over having an education.

I can see the struggle she must have had when your dad died, and then having to be the breadwinner, on top of the fact that she didn't have an education. It must have been very hard. Give your mother as much love and respect as you can, because she did the best she could under the circumstances. It does sound as though you have a working relationship, and that is wonderful.

Adam, how do you feel about motherhood? Do you feel it is a woman's highest calling, or do you feel it is okay to put a career/education/job ahead of family?

[KeptByTheWord]

Mom is one of the few words spelled backwards that still spells the same word....:icecream

WOW, thanks for that! I always thought I was spelling it wrong. :gaga

WOW is the same thing. :)

LOL is the same thing too.... :lol

[Pressing-On]

LOL is the same thing too.... :lol
MOM and POP LOL! :lol That's about as deep as I can go on this subject. :hmmm

[ILG]

Level

[Pressing-On]

Level
MOM and POP were on the LEVEL and LOL!

Sorry, KeptByHisWord. It's ILG's fault. :heeheehee

[ILG]

MOM and POP were on the LEVEL and LOL!

Sorry, KeptByHisWord. It's ILG's fault. :heeheehee

I think I am going to change my name to ILGLI. LOL!:heeheehee

[Adam]

Adam, how do you feel about motherhood? Do you feel it is a woman's highest calling, or do you feel it is okay to put a career/education/job ahead of family?

Every woman is different. Some are not cut out to be mothers. There are girls that are tomboys, and others that play with dolls and doll houses. One woman may want to remain single and join the military or have a career. Another will want to be a wife and mother. Some women want to rob banks and kill people. We are all individuals, you cannot apply a broad generalization of "all women should be wives and mothers because it is the greatest calling a woman can achieve" to all women.

[Pressing-On]

I better add something to the discussion. :heeheehee

I am glad that my mom was a stay at home mom. With eight children, someone needed to be home all the time. We did have a maid, but she mostly did the laundry, ironing, etc. And my mother was a great cook!

[Pressing-On]

I think I am going to change my name to ILGLI. LOL!:heeheehee

What about BOB?

:heeheehee

[Adam]

It does sound as though you have a working relationship, and that is wonderful.

We have a working relationship so long as I don't go down the road of becoming a religious person. Last time I did that, our relationship terminated.

[KeptByTheWord]

MOM and POP have a TOT named BOB that likes to LOL :lol

[KeptByTheWord]

Prax... this is ALL your fault! Now I'm going to be thinking in three letter words all day! :heeheehee

[KeptByTheWord]

We have a working relationship so long as I don't go down the road of becoming a religious person. Last time I did that, our relationship terminated.

I'm sorry to hear that. That must be a really tough place to be.

[Pressing-On]

MOM and POP have a TOT named BOB that likes to LOL :lol

:heeheehee:thumbsup

[Pressing-On]

Prax... this is ALL your fault! Now I'm going to be thinking in three letter words all day! :heeheehee

MOM and POP have a TOT named BOB that likes to LOL and drives a RACECAR.

[ILG]

Every woman is different. Some are not cut out to be mothers. There are girls that are tomboys, and others that play with dolls and doll houses. One woman may want to remain single and join the military or have a career. Another will want to be a wife and mother. Some women want to rob banks and kill people. We are all individuals, you cannot apply a broad generalization of "all women should be wives and mothers because it is the greatest calling a woman can achieve" to all women.

But what if someone has children and then wants to have a career? (Not to be confused with having a "job".)

[ILG]

What about BOB?

:heeheehee

Um, that's my son's name. LOL!

[ILG]

We have a working relationship so long as I don't go down the road of becoming a religious person. Last time I did that, our relationship terminated.

Well, that's pretty much the boat I am in with my family too. Our relationships are MUCH better since I left the church. Most of us are spiritual in our own ways. My Dad is into American Indian spirituality, my sister is into Buddhism, my Mom is into Catholicism. we just can't talk religion too much!

[ILG]

MOM and POP have a TOT named BOB that likes to LOL and drives a RACECAR.

I didn't know Bob was up to so much! LOL!

[Pressing-On]

Um, that's my son's name. LOL!

Oops, okay, MADAM then? :heeheehee

[Adam]

I'm sorry to hear that. That must be a really tough place to be.
Yes, it is. I'm essentially waiting for her to die before I can really devote myself to religious study, something that I'm looking forward to doing once I retire in a few years. If I have any kind of personal religious revelation, I tend to keep it to myself rather than share it with her because she usually lashes out. She is 85 with health problems and currently in an assisted living facility. To be honest, we are all waiting on her to die. Currently, though, her health has been on the upswing.

A side note... this past Christmas, she was the only one that gave me a Christmas card. I even have a brother, a sister, and 3 grown kids. One of my kids is a devout Christian. Only my mom gave me a card.

[ILG]

Oops, okay, MADAM then? :heeheehee

'Bout time you started addressing me with some respect there, No-Gnisserp!!

[Pressing-On]

I didn't know Bob was up to so much! LOL!

BOB is certainly on the RADAR as a busy TOT. LOL!

[Pressing-On]

'Bout time you started addressing me with some respect there, No-Gnisserp!!

LOL! Isn't MADAM an occupation? :heeheehee

[ILG]

There is a special word for these types of words. It's called a Palindrome. Impressive that I know a fancy word like palindrome, isn't it? That makes me pretty impressive.

[ILG]

LOL! Isn't MADAM an occupation? :heeheehee

Only in the minds of people who think about those things. :throwrock Why, do you have any experience? LOL!

[KeptByTheWord]

'Bout time you started addressing me with some respect there, No-Gnisserp!!

LOL! Isn't MADAM an occupation? :heeheehee

GAG! :heeheehee

[KeptByTheWord]

There is a special word for these types of words. It's called a Palindrome. Impressive that I know a fancy word like palindrome, isn't it? That makes me pretty impressive.

Yup... I'm impressed! Palindromy is kind of fun ;)

[KeptByTheWord]

Yes, it is. I'm essentially waiting for her to die before I can really devote myself to religious study, something that I'm looking forward to doing once I retire in a few years. If I have any kind of personal religious revelation, I tend to keep it to myself rather than share it with her because she usually lashes out. She is 85 with health problems and currently in an assisted living facility. To be honest, we are all waiting on her to die. Currently, though, her health has been on the upswing.

A side note... this past Christmas, she was the only one that gave me a Christmas card. I even have a brother, a sister, and 3 grown kids. One of my kids is a devout Christian. Only my mom gave me a card.

That is really, really, really sad, Adam. There is no one in the world who can take the place of a mother, and for her to be so miserable, must be so hard to deal with. But yet, like you said, there is always good in the worst of situations, so you must comfort yourself with that. I will be praying for your mother that she will find refuge in the Lord before she goes into eternity. And for you, that you will be able to find that same refuge as well.

[Adam]

But what if someone has children and then wants to have a career? (Not to be confused with having a "job".)

Again, it is all individual situations. What if that career or job is at home? Think of the classic farm of the past where the wife and mother had a full-time job taking care of the home, in addition to some farm chores. What happens when the husband dies and she's left having to do it all?

But, yes, I know, in today's post-modern world it is usually a job in an office and the kids in daycare. My ex-wife did that and she was true-blue Apostolic. I personally think she didn't want kids, she just liked the idea of snagging a man and getting married. But, we love our kids anyway despite all the chaos it all was.

[ILG]

GAG! :heeheehee

POP works as a ROTATOR while his face gets REDDER every minute!

[KeptByTheWord]

Oh my... we could really have some fun with this ....

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Appendix:Palindromic_words#English_palindromic_wor ds

[Adam]

That is really, really, really sad, Adam. There is no one in the world who can take the place of a mother, and for her to be so miserable, must be so hard to deal with. But yet, like you said, there is always good in the worst of situations, so you must comfort yourself with that. I will be praying for your mother that she will find refuge in the Lord before she goes into eternity. And for you, that you will be able to find that same refuge as well.

I'm thinking my mom's bitterness toward God started when one of her children died. He was born before me. I never knew him. He died of leukemia when he was about 4 years old. She was devastated. My parents divorced over it, but then remarried and had me. I was sort of his replacement.

[KeptByTheWord]

tattarrattat – the longest palindrome in the Oxford English Dictionary, coined by James Joyce in Ulysses for a knock on the door

[KeptByTheWord]

I'm thinking my mom's bitterness toward God started when one of her children died. He was born before me. I never knew him. He died of leukemia when he was about 4 years old. She was devastated. My parents divorced over it, but then remarried and had me. I was sort of his replacement.

Trauma does a lot of damage in lives, to be sure. I'm so sorry that your mother wasn't able to find some peace in the Lord through this. I believe it would have made a difference. And the effects of her reaction to this trauma, have scarred your life too, it seems.

[Pressing-On]

Okay, this feels really weird with Adam being very serious. But, seriously, what is this? :heeheehee

kinnikinnik – variant (or common misspelling) of kinnikinnick, a Native American smoking mixture

[KeptByTheWord]

I better add something to the discussion. :heeheehee

I am glad that my mom was a stay at home mom. With eight children, someone needed to be home all the time. We did have a maid, but she mostly did the laundry, ironing, etc. And my mother was a great cook!

I missed this somehow in our palindromic bantering PO, sorry!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about your mother. Taking care of eight children is really a full-time job! Do you think your mother ever felt that she could have done something else with her life, other than be a mother? Or did she feel it was a blessing for her to serve her family this way?

Every woman is different. Some are not cut out to be mothers. There are girls that are tomboys, and others that play with dolls and doll houses. One woman may want to remain single and join the military or have a career. Another will want to be a wife and mother. Some women want to rob banks and kill people. We are all individuals, you cannot apply a broad generalization of "all women should be wives and mothers because it is the greatest calling a woman can achieve" to all women.

Yes, each woman or man for that matter, is an individual, and designed by God to have unique talents and abilities. How those talents, and abilities are used, can depend on a number of different factors in their lives.

I personally believe that because of the nature God designed women with, which is to nurture, care for, and teach, that given the right opportunity, a woman would be happiest in the home, caring, nurturing, and loving her family, and others with her God-given design to nurture.

Men, on the other hand, have God-given natures to protect, provide security, and to work. Originally, I believe, God designed men to find fulfillment in their work, and for women find fulfillment by nurturing.

[Adam]

Woman=nurturer and Man=protector is a very broad generalization and cannot be applied to all men and women.

[ILG]

tattarrattat – the longest palindrome in the Oxford English Dictionary, coined by James Joyce in Ulysses for a knock on the door

Sounds like a machine gun.

[ILG]

Okay, this feels really weird with Adam being very serious. But, seriously, what is this? :heeheehee

kinnikinnik – variant (or common misspelling) of kinnikinnick, a Native American smoking mixture

It's VERY fun to say. They probably smoked whatever and then tried saying it.

[Pressing-On]

I missed this somehow in our palindromic bantering PO, sorry!

Thank you for sharing your thoughts about your mother. Taking care of eight children is really a full-time job! Do you think your mother ever felt that she could have done something else with her life, other than be a mother? Or did she feel it was a blessing for her to serve her family this way?


I think she felt it was a blessing. Because she was Catholic, she wasn't allowed to marry a Baptist boy she really liked who later became a surgeon. My father was a cowboy, farmer, rancher, and her tastes and ideals were more citified than his.

My father and mother divorced after 25 years, that same man happened to be a widower. He wanted her to marry him and move to Louisiana. She turned him down because she wasn't going to leave her children behind in Texas. And who would leave Texas anyway? That would be really weird. :heeheehee

Anyway, I was engaged at 21 and decided to call off the wedding because I felt I would give everything to this guy who would later leave me for someone else after 25 years - like my father did. Seems I was right as he has been married 3 times. :heeheehee Now he is alone on a ranch in South Texas still drinking his Jack Daniels. I empathize with Willie Nelson and Waylon Jennings when they sang, Mama's Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up To Be Cowboys :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

It's VERY fun to say. They probably smoked whatever and then tried saying it.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahaha!
Okay, that would be a trip to get high with a bunch of Indians. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

[Pressing-On]

Woman=nurturer and Man=protector is a very broad generalization and cannot be applied to all men and women.

:thumbsup

[shazeep]

ha especially after a couple generations of family-destroying 'conditioning.' Don't mind all the current gender confusion.

[Adam]

ha especially after a couple generations of family-destroying 'conditioning.' Don't mind all the current gender confusion.

Imagine a skinny little effeminate guy who is sweet and kind married to a large masculine rough and tough woman. Who is the protector and nurturer in this marriage?

[Praxeas]

I thought of starting a topic "Not just a Man", but Man spelled backwards is "Nam"...just doesn't have the same feel to it as Mom

[Praxeas]

MOM and POP were on the LEVEL and LOL!

Sorry, KeptByHisWord. It's ILG's fault. :heeheehee
Actually Im the guilty one..sorry folks :icecream

[Praxeas]

What about BOB?

:heeheehee
Or Boob..wait..I meant that like "a dummy"

[Praxeas]

MOM and POP have a TOT named BOB that likes to LOL :lol
MOM, POP and TOT go out to lunch every NOON

[Praxeas]

Prax... this is ALL your fault! Now I'm going to be thinking in three letter words all day! :heeheehee
haha

[Praxeas]

GAG! :heeheehee
Gog and Ma-Gog

[ILG]

haha

NO Prax!! it's hahah!!

[ILG]

Gog and Ma-Gog

LOL!

[Praxeas]

I have to add "heh" and "Huh?" :bigbaby

[Pressing-On]

Actually Im the guilty one..sorry folks :icecream
Right, you started it, but ILG was present and I wanted to blame it on someone online. :heeheehee

Or Boob..wait..I meant that like "a dummy"

I was going to post that word, but since many may not be familiar with the Three Stooges, and they are outdated, I thought coming from a woman, it might leave me hanging. :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

I have to add "heh" and "Huh?" :bigbaby

AHA, another added. :heeheehee

[KeptByTheWord]

Woman=nurturer and Man=protector is a very broad generalization and cannot be applied to all men and women.

Why is this a broad generalization? This is Biblical.

If we go back to the very beginning of creation with Adam and Eve, Eve is called the "mother" of all living.

Gen. 3:20 "And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.


The word Mother is synonymous with giving birth, nurturing, and taking care of.

Adam was not given the task of mothering, Eve was.

Adam's job was to protect, and provide for his family, and Eve was to be the mother of all living.

When they sinned, and both were cursed, Adam's curse was to live by the sweat of his brow (work), and Eve's curse was to be in childbearing (mothering).

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

20 And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.


So we see that herein lies the very clear differences in the genetic makeup of man and woman, and from that distinction we understand that men have to work all the days of their life, and women are to find themselves in the role of motherhood all the days of their life.

[Pressing-On]

Why is this a broad generalization? This is Biblical.

If we go back to the very beginning of creation with Adam and Eve, Eve is called the "mother" of all living.

Gen. 3:20 "And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.


The word Mother is synonymous with giving birth, nurturing, and taking care of.

Adam was not given the task of mothering, Eve was.

Adam's job was to protect, and provide for his family, and Eve was to be the mother of all living.

When they sinned, and both were cursed, Adam's curse was to live by the sweat of his brow (work), and Eve's curse was to be in childbearing (mothering).

16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.

17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;

18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;

19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.

20 And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.


So we see that herein lies the very clear differences in the genetic makeup of man and woman, and from that distinction we understand that men have to work all the days of their life, and women are to find themselves in the role of motherhood all the days of their life.

I took him to mean that they don't always follow the roles they were designed for.

[KeptByTheWord]

I was going to post that word, but since many may not be familiar with the Three Stooges, and they are outdated, I thought coming from a woman, it might leave me hanging. :heeheehee

:lol oh my... the trouble words can get us into!

[Pressing-On]

:lol oh my... the trouble words can get us into!

For real! :heeheehee

[KeptByTheWord]

I took him to mean that they don't always follow the roles they were designed for.

And yes, I was going to follow up with that, with his comment about the effeminate man and tough woman being married.... the original plan in the garden was destroyed by sin, and things have not been right since, but we can understand from this passage the way things are intended to be .... although the curve balls of life can change many things.

[Pressing-On]

And yes, I was going to follow up with that, with his comment about the effeminate man and tough woman being married.... the original plan in the garden was destroyed by sin, and things have not been right since, but we can understand from this passage the way things are intended to be .... although the curve balls of life can change many things.

Agreed! Today, the curve ball seems more prevalent. :thumbsup

[KeptByTheWord]

But I think it is relevant to our discussion to understand that the original design after the fall in the garden with the curse given to Adam and Eve, explains why I, as a woman, feel most fulfilled when I am home and nurturing, caring, teaching, and loving my family and husband.

My husband was out of work for a few months this past year, and it was a very frustrating time for him, because his self worth comes from working, and providing for his family. It was a huge relief for him to go back to work, and begin to provide for our family again.

I just think, personally, that being home, and working out of my home, provides the best environment for my children to thrive, and for my husband to be content. We have tried both scenarios, with me working out of the home, and working at home, and definitely, everyone is much happier when I am home running the household.

Other perspectives are welcome of course!

[KeptByTheWord]

Agreed! Today, the curve ball seems more prevalent. :thumbsup

Yes, sadly true.

[Pressing-On]

My main reason for not working is that I would neglect aspects of both home and work at given times. And, more than likely, as was the case when I first got married, I poured more effort into my job because it involved sales and you can't slack up in that environment to stay ahead of the game.

[KeptByTheWord]

Some more palindromy...

Aha! Eve is the mom of us all... yay ma'am!

[Pressing-On]

Some more palindromy...

Aha! Eve is the mom of us all... yay ma'am!

LOL! Put that Espresso down - or have you been drinking coffee since NOON? :heeheehee

[KeptByTheWord]

My main reason for not working is that I would neglect aspects of both home and work at given times. And, more than likely, as was the case when I first got married, I poured more effort into my job because it involved sales and you can't slack up in that environment to stay ahead of the game.

Yes, it is always a tug-of-war with a career versus motherhood... I think every woman who has ever done it would agree with that.

Unfortunately, many women find they have no choice but to work, and juggle the two. It makes for a LOT of stress in a woman's heart, I think. Well, I know it did for me.

[Pressing-On]

Yes, it is always a tug-of-war with a career versus motherhood... I think every woman who has ever done it would agree with that.

Unfortunately, many women find they have no choice but to work, and juggle the two. It makes for a LOT of stress in a woman's heart, I think. Well, I know it did for me.

I read an article, years ago, stating (citing a study) that women live longer if they don't have to work outside the home as long as men do, i.e., until retirement.

[KeptByTheWord]

LOL! Put that Espresso down - or have you been drinking coffee since NOON? :heeheehee

aha! hah hah! lol!

[KeptByTheWord]

I read an article, years ago, stating (citing a study) that women live longer if they don't have to work outside the home as long as men do, i.e., until retirement.

I believe that!

[Pressing-On]

aha! hah hah! lol!

:hypercoffee

Note: this is not Bratti's condescending coffee cup. :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

I believe that!

I do too. I know I was stressed out. Mainly, because my strength was cold calling. I do much better talking face to face then on the phone. I want to look at someone's face when I am trying to make them buy something from me. :heeheehee

[Sasha]

My mom and I never got along most of our lives. She was divorced from my dad, who never wanted anything to do with my brother and I, when we were very young, and she had to work to make ends meet. This meant she left us with people who abused us, mainly me, and she was someone who never believed children because they always lied. I never had protection from my abusers, and my mom was abusive as well. I grew up hateful and bitter and it carried into my young adulthood. My mom thought I would end up in prison, and that's no exaggeration.

I didn't raise my children the way I was raised. I made sure I hugged them, told them I loved them, and protected them at all costs. I was even told by a pastor once that I was overprotective and he saw that in me from the first time he met me. I have always been there for my children. They are my life.

Oddly enough, my mom has changed. Her grandchildren mean the world to her. She always let them get away with everything. She thinks they walk on water and even admitted to me that I did well in raising them, even though at first she thought I should beat them for every little thing. They have never seen her as I saw her growing up. They are adults now and I tell them stories of my life with her and it shocks them that she was ever that way.

Being a single mother most of my childrens lives, I had to work. But even then, I was very involved with my children, attending ball games and being involved in scouts and camping. Even when going to school full time and working as they got older, I knew what they were doing. Sneaking around was something they just didn't do. I would leave work to check on them and NEVER found them doing something they weren't to be doing. They knew I had to trust them.

My mom cursed me with having children just half as bad as I was. My kids didn't even come close. Thank God!

[navygoat1998]

I do too. I know I was stressed out. Mainly, because my strength was cold calling. I do much better talking face to face then on the phone. I want to look at someone's face when I am trying to make them buy something from me. :heeheehee

ABC = Always be closing! :happydance

[KeptByTheWord]

My mom and I never got along most of our lives. She was divorced from my dad, who never wanted anything to do with my brother and I, when we were very young, and she had to work to make ends meet. This meant she left us with people who abused us, mainly me, and she was someone who never believed children because they always lied. I never had protection from my abusers, and my mom was abusive as well. I grew up hateful and bitter and it carried into my young adulthood. My mom thought I would end up in prison, and that's no exaggeration.

I didn't raise my children the way I was raised. I made sure I hugged them, told them I loved them, and protected them at all costs. I was even told by a pastor once that I was overprotective and he saw that in me from the first time he met me. I have always been there for my children. They are my life.

Oddly enough, my mom has changed. Her grandchildren mean the world to her. She always let them get away with everything. She thinks they walk on water and even admitted to me that I did well in raising them, even though at first she thought I should beat them for every little thing. They have never seen her as I saw her growing up. They are adults now and I tell them stories of my life with her and it shocks them that she was ever that way.

Being a single mother most of my childrens lives, I had to work. But even then, I was very involved with my children, attending ball games and being involved in scouts and camping. Even when going to school full time and working as they got older, I knew what they were doing. Sneaking around was something they just didn't do. I would leave work to check on them and NEVER found them doing something they weren't to be doing. They knew I had to trust them.

My mom cursed me with having children just half as bad as I was. My kids didn't even come close. Thank God!

Thank you for sharing your story. I can feel your heartbreak, and yet, through the tears, it is wonderful to hear the victory undertones! Praise God for keeping you, and keeping your children! And I'm glad your relationship with your mother has healed. Many times that can take place, as people from that generation kind of mellow out as they get older. It happened in with my husband's dad as well. Very abusive and difficult relationship growing up, but now, things are much better.

Would you say that being a mother was the most fulfilling thing you've done as a woman? Just curious.

[KeptByTheWord]

:hypercoffee

Note: this is not Bratti's condescending coffee cup. :heeheehee

I'm drinking tea, not coffee.... green tea that is supposed to be GOOD for you ... One can only hope!

[Sasha]

Thank you for sharing your story. I can feel your heartbreak, and yet, through the tears, it is wonderful to hear the victory undertones! Praise God for keeping you, and keeping your children! And I'm glad your relationship with your mother has healed. Many times that can take place, as people from that generation kind of mellow out as they get older. It happened in with my husband's dad as well. Very abusive and difficult relationship growing up, but now, things are much better.

Would you say that being a mother was the most fulfilling thing you've done as a woman? Just curious.

My mom was in denial of her abuse and acceptance of abuse for many years. It was only about ten years ago that she said God showed her in a vision during a weekend prayer session at her church what we suffered all those years and she asked my forgiveness. It took me just over six months to not only forgive her, but let her know what she was being forgiven for. Most of that 7 page email she didn't even know about. I'd never told her. It was a weight lifted off me that had oppressed me for several years and inhibited my walk with God.

I'm not sure I would say being a mother was the most fulfilling thing. In a lot of ways, I have missed out on things with my children due to being a single parent. I would have loved to have done more with them, but I get to do that with my younger children still at home now that I'm married. :thumbsup

I have accomplished my dream of completing the schooling and licensing for my career and have worked as such for many years now. Doing that while being a single mother probably ranks up there with being a mother alone.

[Pressing-On]

ABC = Always be closing! :happydance

:heeheehee:thumbsup

I remember selling a bank a radio commercial. I sat in front of his desk, after my spiel, for 20 minutes without uttering a word. He cut me a check and I had the commercial. I guess he just wanted to get rid of me. ABC! :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

I'm drinking tea, not coffee.... green tea that is supposed to be GOOD for you ... One can only hope!

I drink Oolong tea. I can't stand straight green tea.

[Pressing-On]

My mom was in denial of her abuse and acceptance of abuse for many years. It was only about ten years ago that she said God showed her in a vision during a weekend prayer session at her church what we suffered all those years and she asked my forgiveness. It took me just over six months to not only forgive her, but let her know what she was being forgiven for. Most of that 7 page email she didn't even know about. I'd never told her. It was a weight lifted off me that had oppressed me for several years and inhibited my walk with God.

I'm not sure I would say being a mother was the most fulfilling thing. In a lot of ways, I have missed out on things with my children due to being a single parent. I would have loved to have done more with them, but I get to do that with my younger children still at home now that I'm married. :thumbsup

I have accomplished my dream of completing the schooling and licensing for my career and have worked as such for many years now. Doing that while being a single mother probably ranks up there with being a mother alone.

Beautiful ending that only God can bring!! Thanks for sharing your story, Sasha!

[ILG]

Jacob liked to cook and clean with his mama but Esau was a man's man, but God loved Jacob.

[ILG]

But I think it is relevant to our discussion to understand that the original design after the fall in the garden with the curse given to Adam and Eve, explains why I, as a woman, feel most fulfilled when I am home and nurturing, caring, teaching, and loving my family and husband.

My husband was out of work for a few months this past year, and it was a very frustrating time for him, because his self worth comes from working, and providing for his family. It was a huge relief for him to go back to work, and begin to provide for our family again.

I just think, personally, that being home, and working out of my home, provides the best environment for my children to thrive, and for my husband to be content. We have tried both scenarios, with me working out of the home, and working at home, and definitely, everyone is much happier when I am home running the household.

Other perspectives are welcome of course!

For me and my family, we have been very content with traditional roles. So, I don't know if people who are not traditional are really happy that way or not.

[ILG]

I read an article, years ago, stating (citing a study) that women live longer if they don't have to work outside the home as long as men do, i.e., until retirement.

I wonder if men who have wives at home live longer as well?

[ILG]

For me, I have never worked full time outside the home since I have been married. I just felt it would never work. I've never wanted to.

[Sasha]

Beautiful ending that only God can bring!! Thanks for sharing your story, Sasha!

And only God could have done it. I'm sure without a doubt that without Him, I would have been where Mom predicted...in prison.

[Pressing-On]

And only God could have done it. I'm sure without a doubt that without Him, I would have been where Mom predicted...in prison.
I haven't spent time in prison, but I did spend a night in jail. :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

I wonder if men who have wives at home live longer as well?
As long as she isn't watching soap operas. :heeheehee

[Sasha]

I haven't spent time in prison, but I did spend a night in jail. :heeheehee

I remember you mentioning that a time or two. LOL!

I've been arrested a few times, but always bonded out before they made me shower and 'examine' me. Besides, it was only for suspended license, and once I didn't pay my lawyer in the timely fashion he was expecting. LOL!

[KeptByTheWord]

I'm not sure I would say being a mother was the most fulfilling thing. In a lot of ways, I have missed out on things with my children due to being a single parent. I would have loved to have done more with them, but I get to do that with my younger children still at home now that I'm married. :thumbsup

I have accomplished my dream of completing the schooling and licensing for my career and have worked as such for many years now. Doing that while being a single mother probably ranks up there with being a mother alone.

You have certainly excelled at being a mother, I would think, to hold it all together, and go to school at the same time! My hat is off to you!!!!!

I drink Oolong tea. I can't stand straight green tea.

I've not tried Oolong tea... I am drinking organic green tea right now.

Jacob liked to cook and clean with his mama but Esau was a man's man, but God loved Jacob.

lol... sure glad Jacob helped out his momma to set a good example for all young men! My son thinks its criminal that he has to do dishes, and thinks its a "girl" chore...

[ILG]

lol... sure glad Jacob helped out his momma to set a good example for all young men! My son thinks its criminal that he has to do dishes, and thinks its a "girl" chore...

Yup, just remind him about Jacob. ;)

[KeptByTheWord]

Yup, just remind him about Jacob. ;)

yup...I will be sure to... like any good mother would :nod

.... I think I'll share the reminder with my husband too... :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

I remember you mentioning that a time or two. LOL!

I've been arrested a few times, but always bonded out before they made me shower and 'examine' me. Besides, it was only for suspended license, and once I didn't pay my lawyer in the timely fashion he was expecting. LOL!

And I was in for.....I ain't talkin'..... :heeheehee I remember I was wearing black velvet and the guys in the hold were whistling and asking if I wanted a cigarette. I'm thinking, "Do you even have teeth?" Then I get locked up with a drunk biker girl. :heeheehee

[ILG]

yup...I will be sure to... like any good mother would :nod

.... I think I'll share the reminder with my husband too... :heeheehee

LOL!:thumbsup

[Adam]

Regarding man=protector... suppose I were married and fully implemented Matthew 5:39. How then can I be a protector of my wife?

[KeptByTheWord]

Regarding man=protector... suppose I were married and fully implemented Matthew 5:39. How then can I be a protector of my wife?

You would need to be led by the Spirit. That is what the spirit of the Lord is given to us for, to give us direction in difficult situations. There is not always a black and white answer for every situation we find ourselves in. There are a million scenarios that could change the outlook of this passage in different ways.

[shazeep]

Imagine a skinny little effeminate guy who is sweet and kind married to a large masculine rough and tough woman. Who is the protector and nurturer in this marriage?Hmm, more important to me is how they both prolly got the way they did.

[KeptByTheWord]

And I was in for.....I ain't talkin'..... :heeheehee I remember I was wearing black velvet and the guys in the hold were whistling and asking if I wanted a cigarette. I'm thinking, "Do you even have teeth?" Then I get locked up with a drunk biker girl. :heeheehee

lol.... aren't you glad those days are over for you! I've never been in a situation like that, but God is good to have brought you to where you are today!!

[KeptByTheWord]

Hmm, more important to me is how they both prolly got the way they did.
Right!

[Pressing-On]

lol.... aren't you glad those days are over for you! I've never been in a situation like that, but God is good to have brought you to where you are today!!

Yes, He has been good to me. Although on this particular incident, they would have let me go, except that the only address I could give them was the hotel I was staying in, looking suspicious. I hadn't set up a permanent residency in the city as yet.

[navygoat1998]

Yes, He has been good to me. Although on this particular incident, they would have let me go, except that the only address I could give them was the hotel I was staying in, looking suspicious. I hadn't set up a permanent residency in the city as yet.

:foottap

[Pressing-On]

:foottap

WUT? Room service rocks! :heeheehee

[navygoat1998]

WUT? Room service rocks! :heeheehee

Your a hoot!!!!! I have spent the weekend in the Reno Nevada jail years ago.....its under the blood :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

Your a hoot!!!!! I have spent the weekend in the Reno Nevada jail years ago.....its under the blood :heeheehee

LOL! I remember a preacher telling about how his wife received a traffic ticket and asked him what she should do about it. He said, "Nothing. Then you can go to jail and see how I felt when I spent some time there." :heeheehee

[KeptByTheWord]

LOL! I remember a preacher telling about how his wife received a traffic ticket and asked him what she should do about it. He said, "Nothing. Then you can go to jail and see how I felt when I spent some time there." :heeheehee

That's funny!

[Praxeas]

Your a hoot!!!!! I have spent the weekend in the Reno Nevada jail years ago.....its under the blood :heeheehee

But not a toot?

[ILG]

I was in prison once. Before they opened the place I visited to see what was in there! LOL!

[KeptByTheWord]

In this politically correct world we live in, being a mother has been delegated to its lowest status ever. In the years since World War II, women have increasingly been putting the status of being a mother at the bottom of the list of things that they would choose to be. Many women have sought careers, leadership positions, and fame at the cost of motherhood.

I would like to bring the focus of this particular thread to where you can speak out and say what you think about being a mother. Share whether your mother there for you... are you able to be there for your children... and what do you think about the "profession" of motherhood?

Do you feel that society looks at you as if you are "just a mom" if you stay at home, and take care of your family?

If you are a mom who has placed your highest priority as a woman on being the best mother to your children and wife to your husband, please share your thoughts.

If you feel that motherhood is not the highest calling for a woman, and that a career should be placed ahead of being a mother, or another view I have failed to illustrate, please share why you feel this way.

I look forward to the responses :)

Bump.... thought I would help the train wreck that landed us in prison... :heeheehee

[shazeep]

Not sure if the point has been made that motherhood is central to family, which of course must be destroyed first, in order to destroy a nation. And i can personally attest that San Quentin is better than the Reno NV jail.

[KeptByTheWord]

Not sure if the point has been made that motherhood is central to family, which of course must be destroyed first, in order to destroy a nation.

Very good point to be made. And this is certainly part of the issue why we see such low value on morality in our nation today.

And i can personally attest that San Quentin is better than the Reno NV jail. Would you care to comment on your mother, and how her presence affected your life? You mention knowing about these jails, so it seems you have visited them personally. Are you trying to suggest that a mother's presence in the inmate's lives could have possibly changed their lives so that they wouldn't be in these places? Just wondering.

[KeptByTheWord]

Bump.... thought I would help the train wreck that landed us in prison... :heeheehee

:bumpsign

[ILG]

Radar

:D

[KeptByTheWord]

toot toot!

[Pressing-On]

Bump.... thought I would help the train wreck that landed us in prison... :heeheehee

Hey, Sasha brought it up first and we felt encouraged to share our war wounds. ILG was a "wanna-be" prisoner. :heeheehee

toot! toot!

[MissBrattified]

In this politically correct world we live in, being a mother has been delegated to its lowest status ever. In the years since World War II, women have increasingly been putting the status of being a mother at the bottom of the list of things that they would choose to be. Many women have sought careers, leadership positions, and fame at the cost of motherhood.

I would like to bring the focus of this particular thread to where you can speak out and say what you think about being a mother. Share whether your mother there for you... are you able to be there for your children... and what do you think about the "profession" of motherhood?

My mother was always there for me. She stayed at home through most of my growing up years. While she did work a part time job when I was a teenager, she was still home by the time I got home from school. She was a constant presence of calm, goodness and strength. She was definitely the best example of a Christian I could have ever had. She prayed daily, read the Bible, was careful with her words, was gentle in every way, encouraged me in character (usually with the book of Proverbs open :) ), and went out of her way to be a positive, affirming force in my life. She was careful not to speak anything negative or to be critical. I appreciate all those things in her. As for the traditional stuff--she kept a neat house and cooked meals, but those were the least of her contributions.

I wanted to do the same for my children, and it was important to me that I be right there with them while they were growing up. Jeff and I married when I was only 18, and I got pregnant with Hannah just 3 months later and in my first semester of college (completely unplanned). I dropped out and I have to admit that I resented that whole situation for some time. Jeff was also young and immature as a husband, and had no idea how to support me through that, so it really wasn't an option for me to continue to go to school and have a child. However, I truly enjoyed my baby girl, and began to treasure that part of my life and was able to eventually put college in perspective. Fortunately, I have sisters who have gone to college later in life and gotten their degrees, so I have seen that higher education can wait and it isn't the end of the world if you aren't finished with it by age 22. :) Accepting this has helped me enjoy my children more and not feel like I'm on some sort of clock where my time to be "me" and finish the things I want to finish in life is being stolen.

At some point, I made a conscious decision to go ahead and have [more] children, raise a family and pursue my other dreams later. Along the way, I have continued to self-educate by reading stacks of books, involving myself in community outreach that requires focused education, etc., and in that way I've somewhat satisfied my need for intellectual stimulation. Homeschooling also contributed to my own self-education, because I've had to explore topics and study in order to teach them to my children. Additionally, FCF, NFCF and AFF have also helped, because they have allowed me to explore scripture in an intellectual way and truly put my brain to work.

Do you feel that society looks at you as if you are "just a mom" if you stay at home, and take care of your family?

Sometimes I do. There are certain circles in which being a mother is cheered and supported and there are others where it is seen as the lazy, stupid woman's path. In the latter, it's easy to blush and mumble that you are a SAHM and try to move conversation along quickly, but I've learned to keep my head up and speak clearly and proudly, which tends to disconcert critics. I also stopped verbally defining myself as our "church music director" because I knew I was sometimes using that as my "cover story."


If you are a mom who has placed your highest priority as a woman on being the best mother to your children and wife to your husband, please share your thoughts.

I'm a wife and mother first and foremost, and it's been important to me to accept that as valuable in myself. I think my first effort at defining myself according to my own values was in a signature line that said, "God's daughter, My husband's wife, my children's mother." It may have been more or less clever than that, but I can't remember what I wrote exactly. Those three things completely represent my focus and priorities over the course of the last 19+ years.

I wanted to define my roles as scripturally as possible, and I've gone to great lengths to read relevant scripture or biblically shaped opinions on female roles. I wanted, from the beginning, for Christianity to shape everything I do, and from that perspective, I've rejected some conservative Christian ideas about parenting, which, IMO, are decidedly unChristian. One example is the focus on corporal punishment. I particularly dislike Dare to Discipline and The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson, and I detest all of the Pearl books and their entire philosophy. Jeff and I are not lenient parents, but we are gentle parents, and I believe our children are better for it. I'm often shocked at the lack of gentleness, patience and long-suffering when it comes to parenting the "Christian" way. We are to be as Christ-like in how we deal with our children as we are with our neighbors. This thread isn't about discipline, though, so I'll move on. :)

If you feel that motherhood is not the highest calling for a woman, and that a career should be placed ahead of being a mother, or another view I have failed to illustrate, please share why you feel this way.

I do not feel that motherhood is the "highest calling" for a woman. It is a calling. It is between a woman and God to find out what her calling is and how to pursue it. However, it also my strong opinion that if a woman wants to pursue ministry as her primary purpose in life, she shouldn't marry or have children. When you marry and/or have children, those things become your highest (God-given) callings by default. As for pursuing a career--that's all about seasons of life. It can be done at certain times and not at others, at least--not without sacrificing other priorities and relationships. Men can also pursue successful careers to a fault, sacrificing relationships and other important priorities as a result. You have to find your priorities (hopefully guided by God's Word) and then shape your entire life around those priorities. Eventually priorities shift and room can be made for other interests. Patience and peace are two qualities that assist in giving your best to each responsibility as it arises and setting aside other desires until they're practical and doable. These are two qualities that I have acquired from my own experience, and because of that gradual maturing in myself, it wouldn't be to my benefit to change the last nearly-twenty years.

[MissBrattified]

:hypercoffee

Note: this is not Bratti's condescending coffee cup. :heeheehee

Nope, that's this one, and I wish I could copyright its use: :coffee2 :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

Nope, that's this one, and I wish I could copyright its use: :coffee2 :heeheehee

Thanks for the correction. I forgot which one it was. :heeheehee

[MissBrattified]

I wanted to respond before I read the whole thread, since I always want to give my fresh perspective before I read everyone else's input. Then I read the thread....LOL!!!! This thread is DEVOVED to palindromes instead of your experiences as a MOM, and of course one TENET of good motherhood is appreciating language arts and enforcing good grammar. :D May the SAGAS continue.

[ILG]

Jeff and I married when I was only 18, and I got pregnant with Hannah just 3 months later and in my first semester of college (completely unplanned). I dropped out and I have to admit that I resented that whole situation for some time. Jeff was also young and immature as a husband, and had no idea how to support me through that

Just an FYI, I completely understand that. I was married at 19 and got pregnant 3 months later! My husband was 18 and not the epitome of mature. ;) (understatement). For me, add to that that I just moved 800 miles away from home and got into the UPC, something my parents did not understand at all. I had no support from anyone, anywhere. It was really tough.

Additionally, FCF, NFCF and AFF have also helped, because they have allowed me to explore scripture in an intellectual way and truly put my brain to work.

I immersed myself in UPC literature for intellectual pursuits and then when the internet came out, I really delved into what I had wanted all along.....iron sharpening iron, something I could not find in my home church (for nine years!). Before that, I taught Bible studies all the time....the accepted approach to exposing myself to people's ideas.

I also stopped verbally defining myself as our "church music director" because I knew I was sometimes using that as my "cover story."

I was the co-pastor for 10 years but never called myself that. It was what my husband called me, and put on the sign. I never realized that as a conservative Christian mother and wife that I actually had a career......until we left, and there was this huge gaping hole. Because I just defined myself and a wife and mother. But in reality, I worked very hard all the time for the church. (And got paid nothing and it wasn't worth much on a resume when we left either.)

I'm often shocked at the lack of gentleness, patience and long-suffering when it comes to parenting the "Christian" way. We are to be as Christ-like in how we deal with our children as we are with our neighbors. This thread isn't about discipline, though, so I'll move on. :)

I wish I had been a better mother....much more gentle. My pastor said we were supposed to spank our kids and so I did....I should have been more gentle.

You seem like such a good Mom, Miss B. ;)

[ILG]

I wanted to respond before I read the whole thread, since I always want to give my fresh perspective before I read everyone else's input. Then I read the thread....LOL!!!! This thread is DEVOVED to palindromes instead of your experiences as a MOM, and of course one TENET of good motherhood is appreciating language arts and enforcing good grammar. :D May the SAGAS continue.

Harah harah harah!!:happydance

[Sasha]

Hey, Sasha brought it up first and we felt encouraged to share our war wounds. ILG was a "wanna-be" prisoner. :heeheehee

toot! toot!

Hey, don't be blaming me when I wasn't around!!!

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!

[ILG]

I'm gonna have to start cutting and pasting online, because I can't think of anymore on my own. My own my own palindrome palindrome, my own my own palindrome.

[Pressing-On]

Hey, don't be blaming me when I wasn't around!!!

A man, a plan, a canal, Panama!

WUT?! A man had a plan to incarcerate you at the Panama Canal? Stay away from there, the Chinese have the contract on it now. :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

I'm gonna have to start cutting and pasting online, because I can't think of anymore on my own. My own my own palindrome palindrome, my own my own palindrome.

At first I thought you were talking about Sarah Palin. :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

Just an FYI, I completely understand that. I was married at 19 and got pregnant 3 months later! My husband was 18 and not the epitome of mature. ;) (understatement). For me, add to that that I just moved 800 miles away from home and got into the UPC, something my parents did not understand at all. I had no support from anyone, anywhere. It was really tough.


I immersed myself in UPC literature for intellectual pursuits and then when the internet came out, I really delved into what I had wanted all along.....iron sharpening iron, something I could not find in my home church (for nine years!). Before that, I taught Bible studies all the time....the accepted approach to exposing myself to people's ideas.



I was the co-pastor for 10 years but never called myself that. It was what my husband called me, and put on the sign. I never realized that as a conservative Christian mother and wife that I actually had a career......until we left, and there was this huge gaping hole. Because I just defined myself and a wife and mother. But in reality, I worked very hard all the time for the church. (And got paid nothing and it wasn't worth much on a resume when we left either.)



I wish I had been a better mother....much more gentle. My pastor said we were supposed to spank our kids and so I did....I should have been more gentle.

You seem like such a good Mom, Miss B. ;)
I got married at 29, my husband was 34. Set in our ways. I wanted to leave him every day for a long time. :heeheehee He calmed down after I quit working. He always wants all the attention, not even liking my dog when I had it. :heeheehee Sometimes I feel like his maid. That's my little resentment that rears it head every once in a while.

[ILG]

I got married at 29, my husband was 34. Set in our ways. I wanted to leave him every day for a long time. :heeheehee He calmed down after I quit working. He always wants all the attention, not even liking my dog when I had it. :heeheehee Sometimes I feel like his maid. That's my little resentment that rears it head every once in a while.

Yup, marriage is hard work, no doubt about it. My husband wants all my attention too. ;) Don't know if that's a male thing or what.

[Pressing-On]

Yup, marriage is hard work, no doubt about it. My husband wants all my attention too. ;) Don't know if that's a male thing or what.

Now I know why my mother never remarried. :heeheehee

[MissBrattified]

...I wish I had been a better mother....much more gentle. My pastor said we were supposed to spank our kids and so I did....I should have been more gentle.

You seem like such a good Mom, Miss B. ;)

In the beginning, we were spankers, too, because that's what we had been told we should do. However, neither of us felt comfortable with it, and the more we read (and the more scripture we read), the more we moved away from it. I wish I could go back and reparent Hannah (the oldest...palindrome!!! :D ), because we started the gentler approach when she was around 4. The poor oldest children...they always suffer the inexperienced parents. :D

I have not been a perfect Mom. I have a temper (fortunately not a quick one, though) and a sharp tongue. If I could change anything, it would be to withdraw sharp, angry, hurtful words. Thankfully, most of those were limited to my early years as a mother (But not all! I had to apologize to my whole family about a month ago for something I mumbled under my breath in a moment of frustration and stress), but those words are still what I most regret. One of the things I admired about my mother is that she never yelled at me--or my Dad. (With the exception of when she thought I was in danger.) I have spent 19+ years WORKING on that in myself, because when I'm angry, I raise my voice or yell. It's the one thing that makes me angriest with myself and the one thing I've had to apologize for repeatedly. I've learned coping mechanisms for when I'm mad, and I've learned to retreat and let myself cool off before I respond.

The best trait I have is probably a sense of humor. I'm more inclined to laugh in any given situation than I am to cry or get mad. :)

[ILG]

In the beginning, we were spankers, too, because that's what we had been told we should do. However, neither of us felt comfortable with it, and the more we read (and the more scripture we read), the more we moved away from it. I wish I could go back and reparent Hannah (the oldest...palindrome!!! :D ), because we started the gentler approach when she was around 4. The poor oldest children...they always suffer the inexperienced parents. :D

I have not been a perfect Mom. I have a temper (fortunately not a quick one, though) and a sharp tongue. If I could change anything, it would be to withdraw sharp, angry, hurtful words. Thankfully, most of those were limited to my early years as a mother (But not all! I had to apologize to my whole family about a month ago for something I mumbled under my breath in a moment of frustration and stress), but those words are still what I most regret. One of the things I admired about my mother is that she never yelled at me--or my Dad. (With the exception of when she thought I was in danger.) I have spent 19+ years WORKING on that in myself, because when I'm angry, I raise my voice or yell. It's the one thing that makes me angriest with myself and the one thing I've had to apologize for repeatedly. I've learned coping mechanisms for when I'm mad, and I've learned to retreat and let myself cool off before I respond.

The best trait I have is probably a sense of humor. I'm more inclined to laugh in any given situation than I am to cry or get mad. :)

Well, thank God we are fluid as people and time can heal some wounds. I have regrets, but if I had to do it over, I can't say I would do any better. Wish I could but I can't say for sure.

[Sasha]

Yup, marriage is hard work, no doubt about it. My husband wants all my attention too. ;) Don't know if that's a male thing or what.

You both are married to my husband????

[ILG]

You both are married to my husband????

Is he a polygamist?? LOL!

[Ferd]

Rule number 1 in our house is Make momma happy.

There is no question at all about this.

[Pressing-On]

Well, thank God we are fluid as people and time can heal some wounds. I have regrets, but if I had to do it over, I can't say I would do any better. Wish I could but I can't say for sure.

My worst fault is that I am extremely organized and prepare anything I am doing or going to be involved in way ahead of time, and I become very annoyed if things do not go as planned...annoyed at people who don't take of things, etc.

I'm not always flexible in that regard, like my mother, making my daughter feel she could never do anything perfect enough to please me. I'm very sure I can't change that. At least when my children come for a visit they can say, "Don't worry about it. Mother probably already has it taken care of." LOL! Seriously, that can be exhausting when so many people depend on you to get everything right. In reality, I haven't met many people who take the time to get things just right.

Who serves coffee without Half and Half, using a powdered creamer? That just happened at a Christmas function. I wanted to put my hair out. See? I am high maintenance. :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

Rule number 1 in our house is Make momma happy.

There is no question at all about this.

Ferdisms. :thumbsup :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

Is he a polygamist?? LOL!

:toofunny Glad to know I'm not the only one married to a baby. :heeheehee

[Sasha]

Is he a polygamist?? LOL!

No, but I think he's married to a couple other women!

[Sasha]

:toofunny Glad to know I'm not the only one married to a baby. :heeheehee

I love my husband, but there are times I wish he could do something on his own.

This morning, as my alarm went off and he was getting dressed for work, he noticed that I hit snooze. He then says, 'You need to make my sandwich because I have to get out the door in ten minutes.'

Today is my once a month weekday off.

Yes, my love is real. LOL!

[Pressing-On]

I love my husband, but there are times I wish he could do something on his own.

This morning, as my alarm went off and he was getting dressed for work, he noticed that I hit snooze. He then says, 'You need to make my sandwich because I have to get out the door in ten minutes.'

Today is my once a month weekday off.

Yes, my love is real. LOL!

LOL! I am not going to go much further into this conversation.

[MissBrattified]

...Who serves coffee without Half and Half, using a powdered creamer? That just happened at a Christmas function. I wanted to put my hair out. See? I am high maintenance. :heeheehee

OH!!! I HATE that, too!!! How hard is it to pour half and half into a little pitcher for guests? REALLY??? And WHO likes powdered creamer? Blech. I'll just skip the coffee altogether. I will sadly and miserably have water or tea instead.

[ILG]

My worst fault is that I am extremely organized and prepare anything I am doing or going to be involved in way ahead of time, and I become very annoyed if things do not go as planned...annoyed at people who don't take of things, etc.

I'm not always flexible in that regard, like my mother, making my daughter feel she could never do anything perfect enough to please me. I'm very sure I can't change that. At least when my children come for a visit they can say, "Don't worry about it. Mother probably already has it taken care of." LOL! Seriously, that can be exhausting when so many people depend on you to get everything right. In reality, I haven't met many people who take the time to get things just right.

Who serves coffee without Half and Half, using a powdered creamer? That just happened at a Christmas function. I wanted to put my hair out. See? I am high maintenance. :heeheehee

My biggest flaw....hmm.....I know my kids often felt like they couldn't do things right. I have been trying hard to change that in recent years. I was a very rigid hardliner church-wise back in the day. A total Pharisee. That didn't help. I have a hard time taking criticism because I try so hard and then I'm sometimes wrong anyway. ;)

[Ferd]

Ferdisms. :thumbsup :heeheehee

Rule number two is

if your gonna be stupid you better be tuff! LOL

[Pressing-On]

OH!!! I HATE that, too!!! How hard is it to pour half and half into a little pitcher for guests? REALLY??? And WHO likes powdered creamer? Blech. I'll just skip the coffee altogether. I will sadly and miserably have water or tea instead.
Ruining the WHOLE event! I need to send Southern Lady to a whole bunch of people. :heeheehee

http://demandware.edgesuite.net/aaif_prd/on/demandware.static/Sites-mags-us-Site/Sites-masterMagazines/default/v1389711169758/images/9986-MA/9986-MA-4-lrg.jpg

[Pressing-On]

Rule number two is

if your gonna be stupid you better be tuff! LOL

:toofunny

[ILG]

My husband isn't really a baby....he's very competent in many ways, but then, he just gets to the point where he doesn't want to make any decisions at all. He puts his brain in neutral and then I'm on......whether I want to be or not! LOL!

My husband is a type A personality. He goes and goes and goes and does SO many projects and then the leftovers fall to me to pick up and he gets irritated if things aren't kept up. I tell him to SLOW DOWN because I can't keep up! LOL! I've never talked about my husband like this. it's about time. ;)

[ILG]

Ruining the WHOLE event! I need to send Southern Lady to a whole bunch of people. :heeheehee

http://demandware.edgesuite.net/aaif_prd/on/demandware.static/Sites-mags-us-Site/Sites-masterMagazines/default/v1389711169758/images/9986-MA/9986-MA-4-lrg.jpg

The half and half better be FRESH!

[Ferd]

Who serves coffee without Half and Half, using a powdered creamer? That just happened at a Christmas function. I wanted to put my hair out. See? I am high maintenance. :heeheehee


OH!!! I HATE that, too!!! How hard is it to pour half and half into a little pitcher for guests? REALLY??? And WHO likes powdered creamer? Blech. I'll just skip the coffee altogether. I will sadly and miserably have water or tea instead.

You cant trust people who put cream in coffee! good grief. coffee is too good to ruin with nasty creamer!!!!!WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???

my whole family uses creamer. i am alone in this world:grumpy

[MissBrattified]

You cant trust people who put cream in coffee! good grief. coffee is too good to ruin with nasty creamer!!!!!WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???

my whole family uses creamer. i am alone in this world:grumpy

FTR, "creamer" is my second choice to real whipping cream (which I had to give up in order to lose some weight :kickcan ) or half and half. The flavored, sweetened creamers are inferior, and powdered creamer is the worst offender.

Skinny drinks from any given coffee place made with skim milk are still superior to coffee with powdered creamer.

I suppose, if the choice were forced, I would choose real coffee with powdered creamer over instant coffee with cream. I think. I'm not sure. Actually, I would probably have it black, if I had to drink it at all. :hmmm

[Pressing-On]

My biggest flaw....hmm.....I know my kids often felt like they couldn't do things right. I have been trying hard to change that in recent years. I was a very rigid hardliner church-wise back in the day. A total Pharisee. That didn't help. I have a hard time taking criticism because I try so hard and then I'm sometimes wrong anyway. ;)
I'm on the phone with my daughter. She is saying, "I am a really nice person unless you tick me off." I said, "You learned from the best." :toofunny

Back on topic - I am surprised that you acted like a Pharisee after coming out of sin. I experienced and expect that more from those raised in the organization. Why do you suppose you did that, if you don't mind me asking? I was in some hard churches, but never felt that God wasn't leading other people into truth.

[Pressing-On]

The half and half better be FRESH!

Try whipping heavy cream and serving that! Dollop of cream please - yummy Or try skimming the cream off a fresh gallon milk. To die for. I had to stop buying it. :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

You cant trust people who put cream in coffee! good grief. coffee is too good to ruin with nasty creamer!!!!!WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE???

my whole family uses creamer. i am alone in this world:grumpy

Like totally. I am going to have to stop talking about this. I'm on the wagon. Have to ditch coffee for a while. Had too much over the holidays. Ugh!

[Sasha]

LOL! I am not going to go much further into this conversation.

Hahahaha.

[Ferd]

Try whipping heavy cream and serving that! Dollop of cream please - yummy Or try skimming the cream off a fresh gallon milk. To die for. I had to stop buying it. :heeheehee

i will admit to the occasional dolop of SWEETEND CONDINCED MILK...


justdontellanybody! LOL

[Pressing-On]

i will admit to the occasional dolop of SWEETEND CONDINCED MILK...


justdontellanybody! LOL

I won't, because that is just nasty. :heeheehee

[Pressing-On]

Hahahaha.

I would win on the tit for tat, I think. :heeheehee

[ILG]

I'm on the phone with my daughter. She is saying, "I am a really nice person unless you tick me off." I said, "You learned from the best." :toofunny

Back on topic - I am surprised that you acted like a Pharisee after coming out of sin. I experienced and expect that more from those raised in the organization. Why do you suppose you did that, if you don't mind me asking? I was in some hard churches, but never felt that God wasn't leading other people into truth.

Well, I think I was a mixture, and I am not sure if I am seeing things clearly anyway. I was just thinking of this earlier today. I had a great deal of compassion towards people early on, but slowly, over time, I lost that somehow. I was just watching a show my kids wanted us to watch and it had a girl in it that went into being gay. It broke my heart because I had become attached to the character (it is a series). At first, I was ready to turn the show off, but decided to continue watching. Now, I just feel compassion for the character and people in that situation. My first inclination was to judge and separate myself. That's what I was taught, right? But now, I just feel compassion and no need to separate.

I had a great deal of compassion and wanted to use it which is why I loved being in the ministry. But somehow, that slowly became twisted and, I suspect that, as I was refused any compassion for anything I was going through (ever, it felt like from anyone), I had to make logical sense of my situation. Every time I was denied the compassion I myself needed from the church or anyone else, I became harder and harder over the years. This was completely unintentional.

This morning, as I felt compassion for the character on the show (and others in real life in that situation) I realized that my ability to have compassion for others is directly tied into my ability to have compassion for myself. When I was first saved, I felt amazing and great compassion from God but the church stamped it out as it refused compassion to me over and over and over and over in many, many situations. We can use the original topic of my getting pregnant at age 19, 3 months after my marriage....(which my pastor said we had to do do be right with God and which I had no relatives attend).....my baptism in Jesus name where, after an amazing conversion, the pastor said I was not saved and could not trust my own perceptions but what he said and what he said the Bible said was what mattered. There were no people in the church I could talk to about my emotional issues....my husband was young and immature and MALE and a non-compassionate type A personality, and the pastor's wife kept her distance from everyone except family. The church was small....there was just no support. I could not call home for support, they didn't understand my being in the UPC.

I said all that to say this......I was not shown any compassion for years and years and years. This greatly inhibited my ability to give it. It's not that I didn't want to. I just didn't know how. I am, by nature, a very compassionate person. But I have lost my ability to feel in a pretty large way. This inhibited my ability to be intuitive to my children's needs. It breaks my heart to think of it. It was like I was looking through a glass darkly.....more darkly than I should have been.

I still have trouble feeling feelings. I practically turned to stone in those days. I am just starting to feel human again. I can't do it over.

[ILG]

Try whipping heavy cream and serving that! Dollop of cream please - yummy Or try skimming the cream off a fresh gallon milk. To die for. I had to stop buying it. :heeheehee

Yeah, real whipping cream is awesome!

[Pressing-On]

Well, I think I was a mixture, and I am not sure if I am seeing things clearly anyway. I was just thinking of this earlier today. I had a great deal of compassion towards people early on, but slowly, over time, I lost that somehow. I was just watching a show my kids wanted us to watch and it had a girl in it that went into being gay. It broke my heart because I had become attached to the character (it is a series). At first, I was ready to turn the show off, but decided to continue watching. Now, I just feel compassion for the character and people in that situation. My first inclination was to judge and separate myself. That's what I was taught, right? But now, I just feel compassion and no need to separate.

I had a great deal of compassion and wanted to use it which is why I loved being in the ministry. But somehow, that slowly became twisted and, I suspect that, as I was refused any compassion for anything I was going through (ever, it felt like from anyone), I had to make logical sense of my situation. Every time I was denied the compassion I myself needed from the church or anyone else, I became harder and harder over the years. This was completely unintentional.

This morning, as I felt compassion for the character on the show (and others in real life in that situation) I realized that my ability to have compassion for others is directly tied into my ability to have compassion for myself. When I was first saved, I felt amazing and great compassion from God but the church stamped it out as it refused compassion to me over and over and over and over in many, many situations. We can use the original topic of my getting pregnant at age 19, 3 months after my marriage....(which my pastor said we had to do do be right with God and which I had no relatives attend).....my baptism in Jesus name where, after an amazing conversion, the pastor said I was not saved and could not trust my own perceptions but what he said and what he said the Bible said was what mattered. There were no people in the church I could talk to about my emotional issues....my husband was young and immature and MALE and a non-compassionate type A personality, and the pastor's wife kept her distance from everyone except family. The church was small....there was just no support. I could not call home for support, they didn't understand my being in the UPC.

I said all that to say this......I was not shown any compassion for years and years and years. This greatly inhibited my ability to give it. It's not that I didn't want to. I just didn't know how. I am, by nature, a very compassionate person. But I have lost my ability to feel in a pretty large way. This inhibited my ability to be intuitive to my children's needs. It breaks my heart to think of it. It was like I was looking through a glass darkly.....more darkly than I should have been.

I still have trouble feeling feelings. I practically turned to stone in those days. I am just starting to feel human again. I can't do it over.
Thank you for sharing this. I understand you better now. I don't believe I am as soft-hearted as I started out.

And I think, with you in ministry, it reminds me of some young or new evangelists I have seen coming back through the church for a visit after pastoring a while and not feeling the same level of compassion at all. So, I think life can distort things, change things for us.

I just want to remember something that I heard Bro. Ewing say, "Lord, don't let us lose the wonder of it all." I think every time I feel His presence, I feel the wonder of it all like I did the first time I was filled with His Spirit. That makes me want to be more understanding and compassionate.

[ILG]

[QUOTE=Pressing-On;1296944]Thank you for sharing this. I understand you better now. I don't believe I am as soft-hearted as I started out.

And I think, with you in ministry, it reminds me of some young or new evangelists I have seen coming back through the church for a visit after pastoring a while and not feeling the same level of compassion at all. So, I think life can distort things, change things for us.

Yes, I remember wondering why some pastors and their wives were so hard and uncompassionate.....and then I found myself going that way over time....and I despised myself. I want that compassion back. I am not there yet, but I am heading there. The message from the UPC is that compassion can be negative. All this talk about bleeding hearts and whiners....all negative. I am a very sensitive person.....and my pastor preached from the pulpit over and over about certain people in the church being too sensitive. See that butterfly in my avatar? Butterflies are very sensitive to the wind. They blow around easily. I tried tying rocks to my wings and, indeed, I stopped blowing around. No one could say I was blowing around anymore. That was less threatening to people. Less threatening to my pastor, my husband, church leaders, whoever. I also lost myself in the process. Never again as long as it is in my power. And I can't say it was completely in my power the first time. I was following the advice of people I trusted to lead me the right way.

In the book I am reading now Leaving Church by Barbara Brown Taylor she says

"This wilderness experience sets up a real dilemma for some of us, since we know how much we owe to the traditions that shaped us. We would not be who we are without them, and we continue to draw real sustenance from them, but insofar as those same traditions discourage us from being with one another, we cannot go home again. In one way or another, every one of us has gotten the message that God made us different that we might know one another, and that how we treat one another is the best expression of those beliefs."

So, I find myself in this very dilemma. I never again want to live in the vast emotional wasteland that was the church to me, to be neglected. I am older now and I know it's not God's will for me to be treated that way, neglected, made to be something or someone I am not. So, I am trying to find my path to communion with other people....of all walks of life....believing they all have something to teach me. As I watched that show with the gay girl, I realized I can have beliefs and compassion at the same time. As a matter of fact, I can be non-judgmental as well. I have forgotten how to even relate to people. But I'm learning.

[Pressing-On]

[QUOTE]

Yes, I remember wondering why some pastors and their wives were so hard and uncompassionate.....and then I found myself going that way over time....and I despised myself. I want that compassion back. I am not there yet, but I am heading there. The message from the UPC is that compassion can be negative. All this talk about bleeding hearts and whiners....all negative. I am a very sensitive person.....and my pastor preached from the pulpit over and over about certain people in the church being too sensitive. See that butterfly in my avatar? Butterflies are very sensitive to the wind. They blow around easily. I tried tying rocks to my wings and, indeed, I stopped blowing around. No one could say I was blowing around anymore. That was less threatening to people. Less threatening to my pastor, my husband, church leaders, whoever. I also lost myself in the process. Never again as long as it is in my power. And I can't say it was completely in my power the first time. I was following the advice of people I trusted to lead me the right way.

In the book I am reading now Leaving Church by Barbara Brown Taylor she says

"This wilderness experience sets up a real dilemma for some of us, since we know how much we owe to the traditions that shaped us. We would not be who we are without them, and we continue to draw real sustenance from them, but insofar as those same traditions discourage us from being with one another, we cannot go home again. In one way or another, every one of us has gotten the message that God made us different that we might know one another, and that how we treat one another is the best expression of those beliefs."

So, I find myself in this very dilemma. I never again want to live in the vast emotional wasteland that was the church to me, to be neglected. I am older now and I know it's not God's will for me to be treated that way, neglected, made to be something or someone I am not. So, I am trying to find my path to communion with other people....of all walks of life....believing they all have something to teach me. As I watched that show with the gay girl, I realized I can have beliefs and compassion at the same time. As a matter of fact, I can be non-judgmental as well. I have forgotten how to even relate to people. But I'm learning.

I'm not a particularly sensitive person, but if you betray me, you aren't likely to ever be in my good graces again. I am like my father in that regard. I will be nice, but you can't be my buddy anymore. LOL!

You know what hardened me more than church? Interacting on forums - both here and the political places I post. They are basically set up for division, which can be way too much negativity in a day. Or the forums fed the fire of what I was feeling already. LOL!

I agree with Taylor if her path is in the will of God. That is important to me. I've seen God work out so many situations by just waiting. And we have always gotten an answer on what to do - stay or go. One incident took nine years to correct, although we moved away and it had to implode on it's own over time. We were blamed until it was over. That was hard to take. The good thing is that I was way past the comeuppance and only felt bad for the people we left behind.

I like what she said here and it should apply to all concerning personal convictions as well as beliefs:

In one way or another, every one of us has gotten the message that God made us different that we might know one another, and that how we treat one another is the best expression of those beliefs.

I never viewed, even the negative, as an emotional wasteland. In spite of some hurt, He moved me personally into a better place in Him and/or in location.

I don't know which show you are referring to, but I am thinking how Downton Abby is very careful to further the thinking that homosexuals are born that way and it's not their fault. They paint a moving, emotional storyline with it. Not wanting to get into a discussion on this subject, however, to me, that is an agenda they want to force on the viewers. Don't know if your program is doing that or not.

[ILG]

I'm not a particularly sensitive person, but if you betray me, you aren't likely to ever be in my good graces again. I am like my father in that regard. I will be nice, but you can't be my buddy anymore. LOL!

My problem is that I forgive and forgive and go back and back thinking that if I just try hard enough, things will somehow change! Ha! I finally learned the lesson that sometimes it's not about me and how hard I try!

You know what hardened me more than church? Interacting on forums - both here and the political places I post. They are basically set up for division, which can be way too much negativity in a day. Or the forums fed the fire of what I was feeling already. LOL!

Forums saved me, I think. I was so alone and broken. I got onto forums and I actually had people willing to talk to me to ENGAGE me, to actually CARE about what I was saying rather than brush me off. I was very conservative back then. As I posted, things did become divisive. But I never felt like it was hardening me. It was like a big zit. LOL! I got squeezed and squeezed and squeezed into a corner until POP! I couldn't be squeezed anymore. Forums and my study of the Amish/Mennonite people gave me clarity. I don't have nay negative feelings towards people I have scrapped with online. I am only thankful they were willing to scrap with me, engage me!! I wanted so bad to engage about topics I needed to engage about rather than being given some scripted answer and then blown off like yesterdays mown grass. I and a couple of men from another forum started our own forum because of scrapping with people we thought were too liberal. Ha! Then, when I looked around, I saw we had some differing beliefs too, but these were my friends. This gave me clarity. I would say a happy hello to any of those people I scrapped with today. I would only worry a bit that they thought I was too liberal now. ;)

We were blamed until it was over. That was hard to take. The good thing is that I was way past the comeuppance and only felt bad for the people we left behind.

I'm don't think I'm interested in comeuppances. That's not the point. I only wanted to be accepted for who I am. That's all I pretty much ever wanted. I've come to the conclusion that some people just aren't going to give that though. I guess I'm really a Kumbaya person deep inside. I dream that everyone will see the error of their ways and we will all sit around a campfire cooking marshmallows and laughing about how stupid it all was. It's hard for me to feel vengeful. Unity is what I crave.

I never viewed, even the negative, as an emotional wasteland. In spite of some hurt, He moved me personally into a better place in Him and/or in location.

God uses many things for our personal growth. That doesn't mean it was fun. Or even something we should think we should ever volunteer for again.

I don't know which show you are referring to, but I am thinking how Downton Abby is very careful to further the thinking that homosexuals are born that way and it's not their fault. They paint a moving, emotional storyline with it. Not wanting to get into a discussion on this subject, however, to me, that is an agenda they want to force on the viewers. Don't know if your program is doing that or not.

I've not seen Downton Abbey. My Mom is watching that right now though. I have my own views on homosexuality and I am not afraid of what a television show is going to do to my mind anymore. See, that's another thing. I used to be afraid of what TV might do to me. I think God is strong enough to speak louder. But that's another subject....

[shazeep]

Would you care to comment on your mother, and how her presence affected your life? You mention knowing about these jails, so it seems you have visited them personally. Are you trying to suggest that a mother's presence in the inmate's lives could have possibly changed their lives so that they wouldn't be in these places? Just wondering.hmm, no, didn't mean that, although it might be included in the 'more general' destruction of family that i did mean...and i would characterize my mother as physically present, but really much too introspective to hold a meaningful conversation with, at least for me. But my whole immediate family is very codependent, so this may also be a factor.

[Pressing-On]

My problem is that I forgive and forgive and go back and back thinking that if I just try hard enough, things will somehow change! Ha! I finally learned the lesson that sometimes it's not about me and how hard I try!
My daughter does that, try and try. I'm not very fond of it myself. lol



Forums saved me, I think. I was so alone and broken. I got onto forums and I actually had people willing to talk to me to ENGAGE me, to actually CARE about what I was saying rather than brush me off. I was very conservative back then. As I posted, things did become divisive. But I never felt like it was hardening me. It was like a big zit. LOL! I got squeezed and squeezed and squeezed into a corner until POP! I couldn't be squeezed anymore. Forums and my study of the Amish/Mennonite people gave me clarity. I don't have nay negative feelings towards people I have scrapped with online. I am only thankful they were willing to scrap with me, engage me!! I wanted so bad to engage about topics I needed to engage about rather than being given some scripted answer and then blown off like yesterdays mown grass. I and a couple of men from another forum started our own forum because of scrapping with people we thought were too liberal. Ha! Then, when I looked around, I saw we had some differing beliefs too, but these were my friends. This gave me clarity. I would say a happy hello to any of those people I scrapped with today. I would only worry a bit that they thought I was too liberal now. ;)
Thanks for the illustration. I am getting ready to cook dinner. LOL!

I am more of a private person, so when people press or get too close, I move away. So, I think that forums affect me in a more negative sense. I don't believe I ever logged in thinking I needed to talk to anyone about issues. But, I'm like that anyway. I always have been.

Your experience with religious friends is the same I had with my political friends. There is more division in the Republican Party than people really understand. Shocking to know your friends have such an opposite view when you thought you were, largely, on the same page. Some can't remain friends if you don't agree 100%. If you don't get in my face, I'm okay with the differences. Same as here on religious issues.


I'm don't think I'm interested in comeuppances. That's not the point.
I didn't think it was your point. I was sharing my point of view. I was very angry for a time and wouldn't have cared what happened to the pastor and his wife. I ran into him at the Post Office and he said hello and I acted as though he wasn't there. Was glad that I got past that. His wife and I met 10 or more, can't remember exactly the time frame, years later, at a function, and she apologized, even though she was still lying. But, at that time in life, I didn't care. It's on her. Her children respect me, because they saw that I didn't treat them any differently through the whole ordeal. That was the most important thing to me - that the children knew.

I only wanted to be accepted for who I am. That's all I pretty much ever wanted. I've come to the conclusion that some people just aren't going to give that though. I guess I'm really a Kumbaya person deep inside. I dream that everyone will see the error of their ways and we will all sit around a campfire cooking marshmallows and laughing about how stupid it all was. It's hard for me to feel vengeful. Unity is what I crave.
I certainly get that. Sometimes you feel you have to be a clone to be accepted. Of course, that isn't the consensus across the board. It's just that some geographical areas are worse than others.

I'm not a Kumbaya person. And I don't especially crave unity. Hmmm, that might be reflective in some of my posts. LOL! I don't think we can achieve that outside of unity of faith.

God uses many things for our personal growth. That doesn't mean it was fun. Or even something we should think we should ever volunteer for again.
No disagreement there - it is not fun, and I sure wouldn't volunteer for it again. LOL! I do know there are some things in the Word I would have never understood if I had not gone through what I've gone through OR what I will go through before I am carried away from this life. As weird as this might sound, it is very interesting to see what God has to say about things when in the midst of a battle.

I've not seen Downton Abbey. My Mom is watching that right now though. I have my own views on homosexuality and I am not afraid of what a television show is going to do to my mind anymore. See, that's another thing. I used to be afraid of what TV might do to me. I think God is strong enough to speak louder. But that's another subject....
I am not afraid of what the television or a movie is going to do to frame my mind. Although, I know it would if I spent more time being fed Hollywood and not the Bible and other healthy reading material.

But, I think that I can recognize the purpose or agenda being presented. Sometimes, is is fairly obvious.

Okay, enjoyed it. Gotta get dinner in the oven. Thanks for the conversation. Hope you have a great evening.

[ILG]

Okay, enjoyed it. Gotta get dinner in the oven. Thanks for the conversation. Hope you have a great evening.

Yeah, I enjoyed it too. It was good although I am exhausted now. LOL! I used to thrive on these types of convos and now, although they are good in the long run. They tire me out! LOL!

Oh, and I wanted to add that forums were really good for me except the few years after I left the UPC. I should have left AFF then, but didn't until later on and then I came back.

Enjoy your din din and don't think about zits too much. :)

[Pressing-On]

Yeah, I enjoyed it too. It was good although I am exhausted now. LOL! I used to thrive on these types of convos and now, although they are good in the long run. They tire me out! LOL!

Oh, and I wanted to add that forums were really good for me except the few years after I left the UPC. I should have left AFF then, but didn't until later on and then I came back.

Enjoy your din din and don't think about zits too much. :)

You're right. It is exhausting. That's probably why I don't do it very often.

Yea, I should have left NFCF. I was going through a hard time in my life, and it didn't help me get through that very well. LOL!

Thanks, and I'll try not too. Having mashed potatoes though. :heeheehee

[ILG]

You're right. It is exhausting. That's probably why I don't do it very often.

Yea, I should have left NFCF. I was going through a hard time in my life, and it didn't help me get through that very well. LOL!

Thanks, and I'll try not too. Having mashed potatoes though. :heeheehee

Yum. White and creamy. LOL!

[Pressing-On]

Yum. White and creamy. LOL!

LOL! You are just nasty. Stop posting today! :smack:heeheehee

[ILG]

LOL! You are just nasty. Stop posting today! :smack:heeheehee

LOL! Ya, okay.:thumbsup

[Sasha]

I'm trying to decide on what to do for dinner. Someone should just bring us something.

[KeptByTheWord]

My mother was always there for me. She stayed at home through most of my growing up years. While she did work a part time job when I was a teenager, she was still home by the time I got home from school. She was a constant presence of calm, goodness and strength. She was definitely the best example of a Christian I could have ever had. She prayed daily, read the Bible, was careful with her words, was gentle in every way, encouraged me in character (usually with the book of Proverbs open :) ), and went out of her way to be a positive, affirming force in my life. She was careful not to speak anything negative or to be critical. I appreciate all those things in her. As for the traditional stuff--she kept a neat house and cooked meals, but those were the least of her contributions.

I wanted to do the same for my children, and it was important to me that I be right there with them while they were growing up. Jeff and I married when I was only 18, and I got pregnant with Hannah just 3 months later and in my first semester of college (completely unplanned). I dropped out and I have to admit that I resented that whole situation for some time. Jeff was also young and immature as a husband, and had no idea how to support me through that, so it really wasn't an option for me to continue to go to school and have a child. However, I truly enjoyed my baby girl, and began to treasure that part of my life and was able to eventually put college in perspective. Fortunately, I have sisters who have gone to college later in life and gotten their degrees, so I have seen that higher education can wait and it isn't the end of the world if you aren't finished with it by age 22. :) Accepting this has helped me enjoy my children more and not feel like I'm on some sort of clock where my time to be "me" and finish the things I want to finish in life is being stolen.

At some point, I made a conscious decision to go ahead and have [more] children, raise a family and pursue my other dreams later. Along the way, I have continued to self-educate by reading stacks of books, involving myself in community outreach that requires focused education, etc., and in that way I've somewhat satisfied my need for intellectual stimulation. Homeschooling also contributed to my own self-education, because I've had to explore topics and study in order to teach them to my children. Additionally, FCF, NFCF and AFF have also helped, because they have allowed me to explore scripture in an intellectual way and truly put my brain to work.

Sometimes I do. There are certain circles in which being a mother is cheered and supported and there are others where it is seen as the lazy, stupid woman's path. In the latter, it's easy to blush and mumble that you are a SAHM and try to move conversation along quickly, but I've learned to keep my head up and speak clearly and proudly, which tends to disconcert critics. I also stopped verbally defining myself as our "church music director" because I knew I was sometimes using that as my "cover story."

I'm a wife and mother first and foremost, and it's been important to me to accept that as valuable in myself. I think my first effort at defining myself according to my own values was in a signature line that said, "God's daughter, My husband's wife, my children's mother." It may have been more or less clever than that, but I can't remember what I wrote exactly. Those three things completely represent my focus and priorities over the course of the last 19+ years.

I wanted to define my roles as scripturally as possible, and I've gone to great lengths to read relevant scripture or biblically shaped opinions on female roles. I wanted, from the beginning, for Christianity to shape everything I do, and from that perspective, I've rejected some conservative Christian ideas about parenting, which, IMO, are decidedly unChristian. One example is the focus on corporal punishment. I particularly dislike Dare to Discipline and The Strong-Willed Child by James Dobson, and I detest all of the Pearl books and their entire philosophy. Jeff and I are not lenient parents, but we are gentle parents, and I believe our children are better for it. I'm often shocked at the lack of gentleness, patience and long-suffering when it comes to parenting the "Christian" way. We are to be as Christ-like in how we deal with our children as we are with our neighbors. This thread isn't about discipline, though, so I'll move on. :)

I do not feel that motherhood is the "highest calling" for a woman. It is a calling. It is between a woman and God to find out what her calling is and how to pursue it. However, it also my strong opinion that if a woman wants to pursue ministry as her primary purpose in life, she shouldn't marry or have children. When you marry and/or have children, those things become your highest (God-given) callings by default. As for pursuing a career--that's all about seasons of life. It can be done at certain times and not at others, at least--not without sacrificing other priorities and relationships. Men can also pursue successful careers to a fault, sacrificing relationships and other important priorities as a result. You have to find your priorities (hopefully guided by God's Word) and then shape your entire life around those priorities. Eventually priorities shift and room can be made for other interests. Patience and peace are two qualities that assist in giving your best to each responsibility as it arises and setting aside other desires until they're practical and doable. These are two qualities that I have acquired from my own experience, and because of that gradual maturing in myself, it wouldn't be to my benefit to change the last nearly-twenty years.

Thank you MissB for your input - so awesome and balanced! I think for me too, I kind of stumbled into motherhood... it was not something that we planned for, but it happened quickly after we were married. We had other plans and dreams when we married, such as traveling, and such, but all those changed with our children. One regret I have is that I wish we'd had more. I've found motherhood to be the most fulfillling thing, even though I wanted a career. Now, I'm so thankful that even though motherhood happened earlier than we planned, it has been the best thing I've ever done. Truly children are a blessing, and a heritage, and I consider it my greatest honor to be a mother.

It is good to share your experiences with others, in the hopes that others here reading this will perhaps realize that motherhood is an honorable thing, and nothing to be ashamed of, even though that is not the message the world promotes.

I wanted to respond before I read the whole thread, since I always want to give my fresh perspective before I read everyone else's input. Then I read the thread....LOL!!!! This thread is DEVOVED to palindromes instead of your experiences as a MOM, and of course one TENET of good motherhood is appreciating language arts and enforcing good grammar. :D May the SAGAS continue.

LOL! MOM's having convo about their TOTs...

"May the SAGAS continue!" :thumbsup

[KeptByTheWord]

Ladies and Ferd, I have to say, you provided quite the entertainment for the afternoon! Sorry that I wasn't here to chime in, I was out on a 2-hour hike, slogging through snow and ice... and getting my EXERCISE while ya'll were talking about whipped cream... lol!

Now, its my turn to get dinner...