Men as the High Priest of the Home

[agoodlife2live]

Although I have been a member here on AFF for a while now, I have never asked a question or started a thread. Today this will change; I will emerge from stalker to inquire-

The reason I am asking this question is because I have recently experienced a teaching that I have not heard publicly taught in an apostolic church. It is that the husband is the "high priest of the home" and even during family counseling, the Pastor is opposed to the idea of counseling with the wife present. The Pastor explicitly said that women ask questions they should not be asking, and he is trying to elevate the men as leaders. This is the explanation of why he will give the man guidance, and leave it is up to him to relay it to the wife. Along with this belief system that is operating in this church, the pastor (s) believe in a strict message of woman keeping silent in church and the home when it comes to spiritual matters. They are to "pray that God changes their husband’s mind, but never to try influencing her husband’s decisions".
The pastor’s council is almost like entering into the holy of holies, where only the high priest may go for council. The Pastor even taught over the pulpit that “God only talked with Adam in the cool of the day when in the Garden of Eden”. Other standards are instituted to promote the hierarchy of manhood; such as Men are to handle all the household money, (my sister attends this church and has no idea if there is money in the bank, and must ask to spend a dime). Recently, the Pastor offended my sister by making a witty/derogatory comment to another man in the church about her “infantile spiritual condition”. When questioned he did not deny he said it, but tried to explain what he meant and would only apologize to her husband for the misunderstanding, leaving my sister rather distraught.
The husband was told by the pastor that he avoids talking to the woman or involving them in meetings because he believes that woman in the land today are carrying the "spirit of Athaliah", the only woman to serve as King over Israel, explaining that she was trying to destroy the rights of the male descendants of David...

I'm not asking anyone to judge who is right and who is wrong, but rather I'm looking for any information of doctrines or teachers (past or present) who have taught such things

Help me understand

[Disciple4life]

I have never heard of this and I have been Apostolic for a couple of decades.

My personal feelings are that if somebody has a certain held belief that it should be backed up with scripture. Not with “God only talked with Adam in the cool of the day when in the Garden of Eden”.

A husband and wife are one. So it would seem that the wife has just as much say in matters of the home as the husband.

This pastor seems like he has control issues.

[Disciple4life]

I think this has been discussed before, check out these threads below. Hope this helps.

http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com/showthread.php?t=16699

http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com/showthread.php?t=2079

[agoodlife2live]

Likewise, I have been an Apostolic my whole life and have never heard this doctrine "openly" taught. Unfortunately, when men conceive the idea “he is the high priest” it will take God to change his mind; what man would dislike or want to deny this theology? lol

Thank you for links to past forums on this topic, I will look at them now...

[Disciple4life]

I am going to come up with a doctrine that my neighbors have to cut my grass.

Gen. 1:11 And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so.

I am God's son so my neighbors should tend the grass in my yard!:happydance

[crakjak]

Nonsense!!!

[Sister Alvear]

I have heard it before....

[Aquila]

I've heard that the husband should lead prayers, encourage and lead family devotions, guide the family in moral advice; encourage, guide, and lead with regards to attending worship. Also, the husband should guide the family in crisis. Always taking the family before Jesus in prayer. This is my understanding of the priestly functions of a husband/father.

A wife's role may be different depending upon one's beliefs in this area.

[KeptByTheWord]

It never ceases to amaze me the efforts of men's doctrines that seek for new ways for men to rule over women.

Don't get me wrong. I believe that the husband/wife relationship each have roles that are different, just as Christ and the church. But when those roles are changed in such a way that do not reflect the role of Christ/body or church, then they are wrong. That is the measuring stick to use.

Christ does not RULE over his church, He leads, guides, and looks for those who will willingly follow, submit, and obey because they love Him. He loved the church so much He died for each one of us. Because of that love shown to us, we live our lives in submission, and obedience to Him, and there is a beautiful fellowship, and relationship because He is leading, and we are following.

Whenever there is a teaching that men are like a god ruling over women, and can dictate just about anything they come up with, and the women have to obey, (such as this priest of the home doctrine), that puts men in a position to become dictators, and to abuse the very role of being a leader that God ordained.

Great men are leaders, not dictators. A great man is known by his leadership, and ability to lead others, and not by his ability to control by fear. There is a huge difference.

That is why this "man is the high priest of his home", while in one sense is true, for a man is to be a leader in his home, but he was never meant to be a dictator. A doctrine like this has a small basis in truth, but ends in gross, false error, because the principles of Christ, and the church has been changed, altered, and lost.

[TJJJ]

I imagine that this man mentioned here in this first post, the pastor, could be taking a principle to the 'nth' degree. We cannot judge to harshly upon just the word of one person who heard it from someone else.

That being said,

Is not the man the head of the woman?

Is that not Bible?

Are not women to submit to their own husbands in all things?

Is that not Bible?

Stirring the pot!!!

[Sister Alvear]

To their own husbands...not to every male....

[n david]

I imagine that this man mentioned here in this first post, the pastor, could be taking a principle to the 'nth' degree. We cannot judge to harshly upon just the word of one person who heard it from someone else.

That being said,

Is not the man the head of the woman?

Is that not Bible?

Are not women to submit to their own husbands in all things?

Is that not Bible?

Stirring the pot!!!
Now, now, let's not bring the Bible into this!

[Carl]

Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord. For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God. 1 Cor. 11:11-12.

[ILG]

Sounds rather subservient.

[agoodlife2live]

I am not sure how to quote people on here, but to address a few comments indirectly I would ask a few questions. Granted this is all theoretical questioning and scenario building, because I personally love the ministry, and respect all men who preach the truth; willingly submitting to the word of God, my husband, and the authority of the ministry.
If the Doctrine is true that woman are submitted to the husband’s authority as the High Priest, then I ask:
Why should I, a woman and wife, attend church at all; when I can stay home and still be in obedience to my husband? Is this not what placing my husband between God and I would allow?
Personally, if my husband is my head and the savior of my body (and soul), then I have no reason to follow the Pastor and no need to hear what he has to say in church. IF it is my husband that is receiving instruction from God for my life, I have no issue submitting to his commands from home and even paying him my tithes. Why should I spend my days seeking the face of God in prayer or bother reading the bible? If I confess my faults to my husband, he has the power to remit them and offer sacrifice for me as the high priest, right? These are the questions that came to mind when I heard the "husband is the high priest of the home". Instantly as a woman, I lost all need for the ministry, because in reality, it means nothing to my walk with God, or my relationship with my husband, therefore, has no authority in my life...

[agoodlife2live]

I imagine that this man mentioned here in this first post, the pastor, could be taking a principle to the 'nth' degree. We cannot judge to harshly upon just the word of one person who heard it from someone else.

That being said,

Is not the man the head of the woman?

Is that not Bible?

Are not women to submit to their own husbands in all things?

Is that not Bible?

Stirring the pot!!!

I think I figured out how to quote… in hopes to address this particular poster. To clarify, I heard the preaching on "woman" first hand over the pulpit and the other teaching on the deceptive spirit of Athaliah in the land, from my husband who was in the office during the meeting I referenced. Nonetheless, I am not asking anyone to judge the pastor, but I was looking for the roots that bare this doctrine in the past.

Was/is this belief system on “men ruling over the woman”, simply created because of the scriptures in 1 Corinthians 11 and Ephesians 5? Is the belief that men enter into the covenant with Christ for the entire family supported by these scriptures and the example of the old Testament, simply because he is a male- automatically making him the “High Priest of the Home”? How can a believing wife, sanctify her un-believing husband as stated in 1 Corinthians 7:14? In the New Covenant are woman included in those called “sons of God”, and “Priests”? It is one thing to quote scriptures, but it is another to paint a picture that resembles the intent of God behind the scriptures used. Without contextual interpretation coming from the knowledge of the whole bible, any doctrine could be created, right?


tnx.

[crakjak]

I am not sure how to quote people on here, but to address a few comments indirectly I would ask a few questions. Granted this is all theoretical questioning and scenario building, because I personally love the ministry, and respect all men who preach the truth; willingly submitting to the word of God, my husband, and the authority of the ministry.
If the Doctrine is true that woman are submitted to the husband’s authority as the High Priest, then I ask:
Why should I, a woman and wife, attend church at all; when I can stay home and still be in obedience to my husband? Is this not what placing my husband between God and I would allow?
Personally, if my husband is my head and the savior of my body (and soul), then I have no reason to follow the Pastor and no need to hear what he has to say in church. IF it is my husband that is receiving instruction from God for my life, I have no issue submitting to his commands from home and even paying him my tithes. Why should I spend my days seeking the face of God in prayer or bother reading the bible? If I confess my faults to my husband, he has the power to remit them and offer sacrifice for me as the high priest, right? These are the questions that came to mind when I heard the "husband is the high priest of the home". Instantly as a woman, I lost all need for the ministry, because in reality, it means nothing to my walk with God, or my relationship with my husband, therefore, has no authority in my life...

Your husband is not God by proxy for you. You can and should have personal relationship with the Lord. That is what Jesus came to do, "...set the captive free..." There is now no difference "...male or female...." Do not delegate your spiritual life to your husband or any man. You are to be a partner with your husband, he will not be able to make right decisions without your input. My wife is not some second class person, she is an equal partner with me in life. She effects my decisions more than any other person in the world.

Bottom line, don't drink the Kool-Aid. Seek the Lord personally, mediate on the Word and be led by the Spirit of our very personal God.

[agoodlife2live]

Your husband is not God by proxy for you. You can and should have personal relationship with the Lord. That is what Jesus came to do, "...set the captive free..." There is now no difference "...male or female...." Do not delegate your spiritual life to your husband or any man. You are to be a partner with your husband, he will not be able to make right decisions without your input. My wife is not some second class person, she is an equal partner with me in life. She effects my decisions more than any other person in the world.

Bottom line, don't drink the Kool-Aid. Seek the Lord personally, mediate on the Word and be led by the Spirit of our very personal God.

I do have a personal relationship with God, and would not trade it for the world, this is why I have been so disturbed by the recent preaching. But,
I know that you are correct, as a matter a fact, my husband has told me almost word for word what you just wrote. It is just hard to remember when in the middle of the pressure! Thank you for the encouraging words, God Bless!

[TJJJ]

Ladies, ladies, ladies....

Just say "yessir" to your husband and everthing will be all right!

Get in line ladies, just get in line!

We don't want any Jezebel spirits running rampant through the Church!

Practice looking in the mirror and forming the words... "Yes My Husband!"

C'mon, you can do it!

[ILG]

This makes me think this pastor is afraid of speaking to women. Maybe he has some sort of weakness in this area and just does not want to deal with it, so he makes it easier on himself by making up silly rules.

[Disciple4life]

Ladies, ladies, ladies....

Just say "yessir" to your husband and everthing will be all right!

Get in line ladies, just get in line!

We don't want any Jezebel spirits running rampant through the Church!

Practice looking in the mirror and forming the words... "Yes My Husband!"

C'mon, you can do it!

Kinda like Stepford wives? Or we could call it standarts wives! :highfive