View Full Version : Your BIBLICALLY INFORMED Opinion: Divorce
Jermyn Davidson
04-14-2014, 07:51 AM
In situations of physical abuse, should the wife stay in the marriage? Common sense says no, but I don't have any Bible to back it up.
Then there is the question of re-marriage-- which I don't see the Bible backing this up either, but most Christians I know would say that the woman would be able to re-marry in a situation like this.
What say ye? :)
Timmy
04-14-2014, 08:28 AM
In situations of physical abuse, should the wife stay in the marriage? Common sense says no, but I don't have any Bible to back it up.
Then there is the question of re-marriage-- which I don't see the Bible backing this up either, but most Christians I know would say that the woman would be able to re-marry in a situation like this.
What say ye? :)
:popcorn2
What I believed back in the day (don't know what I think now for sure) was that the Bible says let her depart and remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. In other words, get out and make yourself safe, but try and work it out or just be single. In a way that seems harsh and in another way it seems smart because seriously, if a guy can't keep from hitting his wife, he will probably also not remain faithful to her if she leaves for her own safety. Then, at that point, she is free to divorce and remarry. But if the guy decides, hey, I've been a jerk and I need to change, this gives him a chance.
Aquila
04-14-2014, 09:17 AM
Christ comments saying (ESV):
Matthew 5:31-32
31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 19:9
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Mark 10:11-12
11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
I think that one could look at Christ's words and condemn remarriage after a divorce for anything other than adultery as being sin (adultery). However, some would put Christ's words in the context of one divorcing one's spouse for the express purpose of marrying another (a common sin of the Pharisees). Thus, Christ never mentions abuse or what may be other lawful grounds.
Paul expands on Christ's words saying:
1 Corinthians 7:10-1
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
I think the idea here is to try to reconcile. Therefore, a husband shouldn't immediately divorce his wife, should she live him. This goes for both spouses in most understandings. However, if reconciliation isn't possible and the husband has held out for an exceptional amount of time, a divorce might be warranted.
Paul also speaks of being abandoned by an unbelieving spouse:
I Corinthians 7:15
15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
Here, Paul admonishes the believer that divorce is perfectly acceptable once an unbelieving spouse has abandoned the other. The brother or sister, according to Paul, isn't "enslaved"; or as the KJV puts it, isn't "bound" to the union. This is legal terminology used in Roman divorce decrees that permit remarriage. So many, feel that the believer is free to remarry in the Lord if abandoned by an unbelieving spouse.
Another angle has to do with remarriage being adultery. Adultery isn't an unforgiveable sin. Therefore if one (or both) in a second marriage brings the issues to God that led to the divorce and repents of them, the marriage stands.
Some acknowledge that the Bible doesn't speak about some topics (such as divorce and abuse) and therefore they call upon this text regarding Apostolic authority:
John 20:23
Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.
Thus, the spiritual authority of the elders can grant divorce on the grounds of abuse and speak forgiveness into the life of the abused, allowing them to remarry in the Lord.
Divorce and remarriage is a complicated issue that can be looked at from many different perspectives in Christianity. Clearly Christian brethren have, and do, disagree on the matter. I see it as a non-essential topic that we must wrestle with in accordance to our conscience, seeking justice and mercy for all parties involved in whatever interpretation we embrace.
Aquila
04-14-2014, 09:17 AM
What I believed back in the day (don't know what I think now for sure) was that the Bible says let her depart and remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. In other words, get out and make yourself safe, but try and work it out or just be single. In a way that seems harsh and in another way it seems smart because seriously, if a guy can't keep from hitting his wife, he will probably also not remain faithful to her if she leaves for her own safety. Then, at that point, she is free to divorce and remarry. But if the guy decides, hey, I've been a jerk and I need to change, this gives him a chance.
:thumbsup
Timmy
04-15-2014, 12:20 PM
What I believed back in the day (don't know what I think now for sure) was that the Bible says let her depart and remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. In other words, get out and make yourself safe, but try and work it out or just be single. In a way that seems harsh and in another way it seems smart because seriously, if a guy can't keep from hitting his wife, he will probably also not remain faithful to her if she leaves for her own safety. Then, at that point, she is free to divorce and remarry. But if the guy decides, hey, I've been a jerk and I need to change, this gives him a chance.
The Bible's flexibility gives us all a chance to interpet it in a way that makes sense to us. What you have posted is pretty reasonable. When I was a believer, I had a hard time accepting that God didn't want a woman, say, to divorce her husband if he was abusive, yet faithful in terms of the usual meaning of "faithful". But, I figured that abusiveness itself was very unfaithful in another sense, and that a woman in an abusive marriage should feel perfectly justified in getting out, for her own safety.
Oh the other hand, I think no-divorce-except-for-unfaithfulness (taken in the marital fidelity sense) combined with forgive-seventy-times-seven-times has caused many a battered wife to feel stuck. Sometimes till death. Sad.
The Bible's flexibility gives us all a chance to interpet it in a way that makes sense to us. What you have posted is pretty reasonable. When I was a believer, I had a hard time accepting that God didn't want a woman, say, to divorce her husband if he was abusive, yet faithful in terms of the usual meaning of "faithful". But, I figured that abusiveness itself was very unfaithful in another sense, and that a woman in an abusive marriage should feel perfectly justified in getting out, for her own safety.
Oh the other hand, I think no-divorce-except-for-unfaithfulness (taken in the marital fidelity sense) combined with forgive-seventy-times-seven-times has caused many a battered wife to feel stuck. Sometimes till death. Sad.
Agreed.
Dichotomy Girl
04-16-2014, 10:51 AM
What I believed back in the day (don't know what I think now for sure) was that the Bible says let her depart and remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. In other words, get out and make yourself safe, but try and work it out or just be single. In a way that seems harsh and in another way it seems smart because seriously, if a guy can't keep from hitting his wife, he will probably also not remain faithful to her if she leaves for her own safety. Then, at that point, she is free to divorce and remarry. But if the guy decides, hey, I've been a jerk and I need to change, this gives him a chance.
Another added dimension, is to consider the difference between spiritual marriage and civil marriage. Sometimes, if there are children involved, or other circumstances, you might need a legal, civil divorce for protection. And then you would remain single and not remarry because you still consider yourself to be spiritually married.
This was my circumstances (though there was no physical abuse). My ex-husband quickly went through 4 relationships including 2 cohabitations before I started dating my now current husband.
Timmy
04-16-2014, 10:52 AM
Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich!
Dichotomy Girl
04-16-2014, 10:59 AM
Miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiich!
Timmmmmyyyy! :highfive
Another added dimension, is to consider the difference between spiritual marriage and civil marriage. Sometimes, if there are children involved, or other circumstances, you might need a legal, civil divorce for protection. And then you would remain single and not remarry because you still consider yourself to be spiritually married.
This was my circumstances (though there was no physical abuse). My ex-husband quickly went through 4 relationships including 2 cohabitations before I started dating my now current husband.
Interesting POV...
By the way, Mich, as an aspergian, how did he ever find that many women? (Just curious for personal reasons.)
Dichotomy Girl
04-16-2014, 11:12 AM
By the way, Mich, as an aspergian, how did he ever find that many women? (Just curious for personal reasons.)
I think I better take that to PM :heeheehee
Christ comments saying (ESV):
Matthew 5:31-32
31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 19:9
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
Mark 10:11-12
11 And he said to them, “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, 12 and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
Luke 16:18
“Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.
I think that one could look at Christ's words and condemn remarriage after a divorce for anything other than adultery as being sin (adultery). However, some would put Christ's words in the context of one divorcing one's spouse for the express purpose of marrying another (a common sin of the Pharisees). Thus, Christ never mentions abuse or what may be other lawful grounds.
Paul expands on Christ's words saying:
1 Corinthians 7:10-1
10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.
I think the idea here is to try to reconcile. Therefore, a husband shouldn't immediately divorce his wife, should she live him. This goes for both spouses in most understandings. However, if reconciliation isn't possible and the husband has held out for an exceptional amount of time, a divorce might be warranted.
Paul also speaks of being abandoned by an unbelieving spouse:
I Corinthians 7:15
15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
Here, Paul admonishes the believer that divorce is perfectly acceptable once an unbelieving spouse has abandoned the other. The brother or sister, according to Paul, isn't "enslaved"; or as the KJV puts it, isn't "bound" to the union. This is legal terminology used in Roman divorce decrees that permit remarriage. So many, feel that the believer is free to remarry in the Lord if abandoned by an unbelieving spouse.
Another angle has to do with remarriage being adultery. Adultery isn't an unforgiveable sin. Therefore if one (or both) in a second marriage brings the issues to God that led to the divorce and repents of them, the marriage stands.
Some acknowledge that the Bible doesn't speak about some topics (such as divorce and abuse) and therefore they call upon this text regarding Apostolic authority:
John 20:23
Whose soever sins ye remit, they are remitted unto them; and whose soever sins ye retain, they are retained.
Thus, the spiritual authority of the elders can grant divorce on the grounds of abuse and speak forgiveness into the life of the abused, allowing them to remarry in the Lord.
Divorce and remarriage is a complicated issue that can be looked at from many different perspectives in Christianity. Clearly Christian brethren have, and do, disagree on the matter. I see it as a non-essential topic that we must wrestle with in accordance to our conscience, seeking justice and mercy for all parties involved in whatever interpretation we embrace.
Very well spoken. A wise man here...
Esther
04-17-2014, 03:58 PM
The Bible also says for a man to love his wife as himself. Wonder if he beats himself up? ( not wondering real hard)
Adultery is the only reason given for remarriage that I am aware of.
n david
04-17-2014, 06:51 PM
Adultery is the only reason given for remarriage that I am aware of.
That's true, but people have been trying to find another out for years.
Some religions claim no divorce for ANY reason. If you get divorced, too bad for you.
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