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View Full Version : How to Deal with Church Hurt


aaronliford07
10-22-2014, 09:36 AM
What other suggestions would you add to these? http://bit.ly/1rfO9ZE

Esaias
10-22-2014, 10:59 AM
Does the Bible speak of the issue of "church hurt?" Maybe I'm wrong but seems to me "church hurt" is a modern phenomenon and therefore suspect.

Michael The Disciple
10-22-2014, 02:37 PM
Many times we wonder how someone from CHURCH could hurt us. We have an unrealistic expectation of everyone in our church being holy and perfect.

I dont think God thinks its unrealistic for his people to be perfect and holy. I think he expects all of them to be. So perhaps many Church hurts happen because believers are to far from God.

The closer we get to Christ the harder we will be to offend. If we are mature in the faith we will think twice before hurting someone in the first place.

Esphes45
10-22-2014, 07:24 PM
I dont think God thinks its unrealistic for his people to be perfect and holy. I think he expects all of them to be. So perhaps many Church hurts happen because believers are to far from God.

The closer we get to Christ the harder we will be to offend. If we are mature in the faith we will think twice before hurting someone in the first place.


:thumbsup

Love comes with the Spirit. You shouldn't have to grow to love. So if you have the spirit of God in you, you shouldn't want to hurt people.

But I will say this. Something that bothers me is when people use the word "perfect" by itself. There is perfection according to the bible and there is natural perfection. I can be perfect according to the Word of God but be as disorganized as a 2 year old child and I will see God's face in peace.

You know what I mean.

Just a pet peeve of mine.

Michael The Disciple
10-22-2014, 07:54 PM
:thumbsup

Love come with the Spirit. You shouldn't have to grow to love. So if you have the spirit of God in you, you shouldn't want to hurt people.

But I will say this. Something that bothers me is when people use the word "perfect" by itself. There is perfection according to the bible and there is natural perfection. I can be perfect according to the Word of God but be as disorganized as a 2 year old child and I will see God's face in peace.

You know what I mean.

Just a pet peeve of mine.

Yes agreed:highfive

Michael The Disciple
10-23-2014, 12:53 AM
And yet CAN we grow in love?

9But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another. 10And indeed ye do it toward all the brethren which are in all Macedonia: but we beseech you, brethren, that ye increase more and more; 1 Thess 4:9-10

So yes love comes naturally with the Spirit and it can be increased.

More truth based love would solve most problems with the children of light!

Aquila
10-23-2014, 08:31 AM
Church hurt goes back to NT times. Consider all the admonitions to love one another. Consider all the admonitions against tolerating sin in the body. Frankly, if there wasn't church hurt a significant portion of the Epistles wouldn't have been written.

Timmy
10-23-2014, 08:33 AM
If you think you need God's help to love, well, whatever works, I suppose. :D

aaronliford07
10-23-2014, 12:54 PM
If you think you need God's help to love, well, whatever works, I suppose. :D

lol

So true. Love is not something that we are naturally born with. Because God is love we don't initially understand what love is until we come to the truth. "Love is patient, love is kind." Being that we are still in the flesh we are going to have this struggle of learning how to love.

aaronliford07
10-23-2014, 12:55 PM
Church hurt goes back to NT times. Consider all the admonitions to love one another. Consider all the admonitions against tolerating sin in the body. Frankly, if there wasn't church hurt a significant portion of the Epistles wouldn't have been written.

Amen. Paul himself even dealt with church hurt first hand. He was originally an outcast of the church and even from the apostles until years later after being saved.

He stated that he was in peril of false brethren as well.

aaronliford07
10-23-2014, 12:56 PM
:thumbsup

Love comes with the Spirit. You shouldn't have to grow to love. So if you have the spirit of God in you, you shouldn't want to hurt people.

But I will say this. Something that bothers me is when people use the word "perfect" by itself. There is perfection according to the bible and there is natural perfection. I can be perfect according to the Word of God but be as disorganized as a 2 year old child and I will see God's face in peace.

You know what I mean.

Just a pet peeve of mine.

The Bible states that we should grow in the Spirit. We are not automatically perfect once we become saved. I said this in the podcast. This is just like holiness. We are not completely and perfectly holy once being filled with the Spirit. This is why the scripture commands us to "perfect holiness in the fear of the LORD...." It is a growing process.

Esphes45
10-23-2014, 07:58 PM
The Bible states that we should grow in the Spirit. We are not automatically perfect once we become saved. I said this in the podcast. This is just like holiness. We are not completely and perfectly holy once being filled with the Spirit. This is why the scripture commands us to "perfect holiness in the fear of the LORD...." It is a growing process.

AMEN. I agree.

Maybe I was not clear.

1. Love comes with the Spirit of God. No Love, No Spirit. If his spirit is dwelling/working in you, you will have/show Love. Period. God is love. If his spirit is there then love is there.

Please read:
1 John 4:12 - 13

No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.

13 Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.

2. Perfect - All I said is it bothers me when people use the word "perfect" by itself because there are 2 types of perfection biblical perfection and natural perfection. I just don't want people to be confused about what we are trying to say. You do not know who is reading these posts.

Aquila
10-24-2014, 06:26 AM
Forgive. Choose to love.

Steve Epley
10-24-2014, 08:03 AM
Getting hurt is part of the process. When we ask The Lord to be like Him then we must have fellowship with His sufferings. Truthfully even at our best we hurt and disappoint people. If we are not careful we expect more of others than we do ourselves. If we learn from our hurts we are better for it if not we have to have the same lesson again. I try to pass the test the first time.:thumbsup taking the test again ain't fun.

Pressing-On
10-24-2014, 10:44 AM
Getting hurt is part of the process. When we ask The Lord to be like Him then we must have fellowship with His sufferings. Truthfully even at our best we hurt and disappoint people. If we are not careful we expect more of others than we do ourselves. If we learn from our hurts we are better for it if not we have to have the same lesson again. I try to pass the test the first time.:thumbsup taking the test again ain't fun.

:thumbsup:thumbsup

Abiding Now
10-25-2014, 04:30 PM
Looks like from posts I read around here, just find yourself another church, then when that doesn't work, stay home and post as an expert on the internet about Apostolic churches . :D

Esaias
10-25-2014, 05:27 PM
Looks like from posts I read around here, just find yourself another church, then when that doesn't work, stay home and post as an expert on the internet about Apostolic churches . :D

What exactly are saints to do if their church is wallowing in false doctrine? Stay anyway?

And how is this any different than catholics staying true to their church "warts and all"?

I ask this seriously. I know thereare people who church hop for wrong reasons but not everyone who is "unchurched" is that way because of stupid carnal reasons.

Abiding Now
10-25-2014, 09:01 PM
What exactly are saints to do if their church is wallowing in false doctrine? Stay anyway?

And how is this any different than catholics staying true to their church "warts and all"?

I ask this seriously. I know thereare people who church hop for wrong reasons but not everyone who is "unchurched" is that way because of stupid carnal reasons.

Thankfully in my life, I've never had to deal with a "church is wallowing in false doctrine", so I can't answer. And then we have to define "false doctrine" which for some covers everything from singing out of a song book to divorce.

Dante
10-25-2014, 11:25 PM
I dont think God thinks its unrealistic for his people to be perfect and holy. I think he expects all of them to be. So perhaps many Church hurts happen because believers are to far from God.

The closer we get to Christ the harder we will be to offend. If we are mature in the faith we will think twice before hurting someone in the first place.

According this line of thinking, a young teen aged girl shouldn't be offended when her pastor rapes her. Or, perhaps church folks shouldn't be offended when the pastor spends tithe money on personal items and luxuries instead of using it for the ministry. I guess if someone is far from God, they should not be offended of these happenings.

Esaias
10-26-2014, 12:56 AM
According this line of thinking, a young teen aged girl shouldn't be offended when her pastor rapes her. Or, perhaps church folks shouldn't be offended when the pastor spends tithe money on personal items and luxuries instead of using it for the ministry. I guess if someone is far from God, they should not be offended of these happenings.

I see English isnt your native tongue. Either that or logic isnt your native thought process.

Michael said the closer one is to God the harder it would be to get offended. Namely because closeness to God produces less inclination to take offenses or reproaches personally.

It doesnt mean getting offended is impossible or a sin itself. And who in the world would say of a rapist "he offended me"? More like "he devastated me and violated me" not "he upset me".

Your extreme red herring betrays another agenda.

Dante
10-26-2014, 01:08 AM
I see English isnt your native tongue. Either that or logic isnt your native thought process.

Michael said the closer one is to God the harder it would be to get offended. Namely because closeness to God produces less inclination to take offenses or reproaches personally.

It doesnt mean getting offended is impossible or a sin itself. And who in the world would say of a rapist "he offended me"? More like "he devastated me and violated me" not "he upset me".

Your extreme red herring betrays another agenda.

Stultus es mater stupri.

KeptByTheWord
10-26-2014, 10:23 AM
I do believe that until we understand that suffering is an inherent part of the gospel message, our relationship with the Lord will never move past being a "babe on milk". If we want to mature and grow up in Christ, we must understand that suffering is part of the process and the lessons that we learn along the way will only serve to strengthen and mature us.

Timmy
10-26-2014, 11:13 AM
What exactly are saints to do if their church is wallowing in false doctrine? . . . .

How would they know if a church teaches false doctrine? If you disagree with something your pastor says, who's right and who's wrong?

good samaritan
10-26-2014, 01:14 PM
How would they know if a church teaches false doctrine? If you disagree with something your pastor says, who's right and who's wrong?

I think that it is good to disagree sometimes as long as it is solidly built upon scripture. Too many times people are coming to conclusions about God without searching the scripture. I encourage people to disagree with me if they have scriptural points, but most want to only give a opinion that is developed soley through personal philosophy.

I think that people should respect their elders, but not be led blindly. I don't want to be a yes man, but I want to be a person who will support truth. We need to be respectful, but no ignorant.

Esaias
10-26-2014, 02:15 PM
How would they know if a church teaches false doctrine? If you disagree with something your pastor says, who's right and who's wrong?

Oh thats easy. Just consult AFF.

Timmy
10-26-2014, 03:26 PM
Oh thats easy. Just consult AFF.

:lol

Abiding Now
10-26-2014, 04:01 PM
Oh thats easy. Just consult AFF.

:thumbsup :highfive

ILG
10-27-2014, 06:51 AM
Getting hurt is part of the process. When we ask The Lord to be like Him then we must have fellowship with His sufferings. Truthfully even at our best we hurt and disappoint people. If we are not careful we expect more of others than we do ourselves. If we learn from our hurts we are better for it if not we have to have the same lesson again. I try to pass the test the first time.:thumbsup taking the test again ain't fun.

Getting hurt is definitely part of the process. We do all need to learn the lesson at some point. Sometimes you can remove yourself from a situation you don't need to be in, when those in authority are having trouble passing that test.

Abiding Now
10-27-2014, 01:01 PM
Getting hurt is definitely part of the process. We do all need to learn the lesson at some point. Sometimes you can remove yourself from a situation you don't need to be in, when those in authority are having trouble passing that test.

Could you explain the bolded?

Ferd
10-27-2014, 01:58 PM
Does the Bible speak of the issue of "church hurt?" Maybe I'm wrong but seems to me "church hurt" is a modern phenomenon and therefore suspect.

of course it does! Paul wrote on more than one occasion of people in the church hurting HIM.

Alexander the coppersmith has done me much evil. The Lord will reward him according to his work.


So say they are of Appolos and some Paul.... I thank God I did not baptize any of you.... etc.

"I withstood him (Peter) to his face and called him a hypocrit in the congregation of the saints"


There was lots of stupid going on in the early church, because there are humans. Wherever you have people you have stupid. (Like Paul I am the chiefest of them... LOL)

When Jesus said "if you have faith the size of a grain of mustard seed, you can say to the sycamore tree be plucked up by the roots..." He was instructing his followers that people would lie on them. They would suffer hurt. Not physical pain of beatings etc, but the emotional kind. Peter said "increase our faith"

The subject is well covered in scripture.

Ferd
10-27-2014, 01:59 PM
Does the Bible speak of the issue of "church hurt?" Maybe I'm wrong but seems to me "church hurt" is a modern phenomenon and therefore suspect.

I wrote this a number of years ago.


http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com/showthread.php?t=1491

BrotherEastman
10-28-2014, 11:41 AM
I keep getting hurt, but like a dog with a bone I keep coming back!!!!!! I love God too much to let stupidity keep me away from God.

KeptByTheWord
10-28-2014, 04:31 PM
I wrote this a number of years ago.


http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com/showthread.php?t=1491

:thumbsup