A Recipe for Disaster... Marriage Issues...

[revrandy]

I applaud the removal of a recent thread concerning marriage issues!!

I think that this forum has been a safer place then most when it comes to knowing folks and making friends. That being said we as posters and guests here should use good judgement when discussing our personal lives and be careful of what we post.

I am not critisizing recent post's at all... just a word of caution because situations as these can be a recipe for disaster not just effecting us here but a person's personal life as well...

Sometimes Sympathy can turn into some deeper and become a major issue that can be a disaster for all involved....

I can appreciate the fact that there are wonderful people here who care when we are hurt or pray with us about situations that arise and we can share what we are going thru but also understanding that there are certains lines that can be crossed innocently at first glance but morphing into something way beyond what is or should be acceptable here.

Just a word of careful consideration and caution for all involved...

I appreciate this forum and all who post here but I also want to make sure I remain ethical at all times while doing so and know others feel the same...

Just a thought...

[Ronzo]

I hope you're not supposing we should just pretend everything's honkey dorey and nothing is wrong, Randy?

[Rico]

I just noticed Sister T's thread is not here. Is that the one you are talking about? Maybe she decided to ask if it could be taken off or something.

[revrandy]

I hope you're not supposing we should just pretend everything's honkey dorey and nothing is wrong, Randy?

Not at all...

But I do think that the lines of sympathy and care can be crossed if we are not using good judgement by folks who are experiancing the same things.. concerning relationship and marriage...

just a cautionary thought..

[CupCake]

I hope you're not supposing we should just pretend everything's honkey dorey and nothing is wrong, Randy?

That's right just go back to sleep~.....;)

[Ronzo]

Not at all...

But I do think that the lines of sympathy and care can be crossed if we are not using good judgement by folks who are experiancing the same things.. concerning relationship and marriage...

just a cautionary thought..

So who do you suppose was not using good judgement?

[Ronzo]

That's right just go back to sleep~.....;)

I wish I could sometimes... and wake up and it all be just a horrible nightmare.

[SDG]

http://respiracreative.com/cops.jpg

[CupCake]

What the problem with allowing adults to decide what is right or wrong on their own, and hear from different view points, must we have a babysitter ????


Honestly if little Billy drinks tainted KoolAid , I won't follow his lead.......I really think many here don't give the membership here much credit at shorting through the garbage and taken what's good. Hmmmmmm

[revrandy]

What the problem with allowing adults to decide what is right or wrong on their own, and hear from different view points, must we have a babysitter ????


Honestly if little Billy drinks tainted KoolAid , I won't follow his lead.......I really think many here don't give the membership here much credit at shorting through the garbage and taken what's good. Hmmmmmm


Sounds like an adult.... :D

[Rico]

Well, no one knows for sure why the thread was taken off. Maybe she asked for it to be deleted. Either way, it's gone and those who got to read it know what's going on and shouldn't need the thread there to remind you to keep this situation in your prayers.

[CupCake]

I wish I could sometimes... and wake up and it all be just a horrible nightmare.

Hear you,

The Matrix


Morpheus: I imagine that right now you're feeling a bit like Alice. Tumbling down the rabbit hole?
Neo: You could say that.
Morpheus: I can see it in your eyes. You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he's expecting to wake up. Ironically, this is not far from the truth. Do you believe in fate, Neo?
Neo: No.
Morpheus: Why not?
Neo: 'Cause I don't like the idea that I'm not in control of my life.
Morpheus: I know exactly what you mean. Let me tell you why you're here. You're here because you know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there. Like a splinter in your mind -- driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?
Neo: The Matrix?
Morpheus: Do you want to know what it is?
(Neo nods his head.)
Morpheus: The Matrix is everywhere, it is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window, or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, or when go to church or when you pay your taxes. It is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth.
Neo: What truth?
Morpheus: That you are a slave, Neo. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born inside a prison that you cannot smell, taste, or touch. A prison for your mind. (long pause, sighs) Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself. This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back.
(In his left hand, Morpheus shows a blue pill.)
Morpheus: You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. (a red pill is shown in his other hand) You take the red pill and you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes. (Long pause; Neo begins to reach for the red pill) Remember -- all I am offering is the truth, nothing more.
(Neo takes the red pill and swallows it with a glass of water)

[Ronzo]

Loved that movie.

I've definitely taken the red pill.

[Thad]

Randy what happend to theresa's thread from Yesterday ???

[Ronzo]

Still praying for ya, T.

[CupCake]

Loved that movie.

I've definitely taken the red pill.

Same here, not looked back.....;)

[revrandy]

Well, no one knows for sure why the thread was taken off. Maybe she asked for it to be deleted. Either way, it's gone and those who got to read it know what's going on and shouldn't need the thread there to remind you to keep this situation in your prayers.

I agree..Rico..

and I'm not critisizing anybody.. it's just a cautionary note... I think that when two members of the opposite sex are communicating the same hurts and pains concerning their relationship whether Christian or not and the other spouse is not involved it could (future tense) become trouble...

I'm NOT saying anybody here is doing it...

[SDG]

Randy what happend to theresa's thread from Yesterday ???

The proletariat decided to sanitize it ???

[Ronzo]

I agree..Rico..

and I'm not critisizing anybody.. it's just a cautionary note... I think that when two members of the opposite sex are communicating the same hurts and pains concerning their relationship whether Christian or not and the other spouse is not involved it could (future tense) become trouble...

I'm NOT saying anybody here is doing it...
Sure hope not... that's a major accusation if you were.

[revrandy]

Randy what happend to theresa's thread from Yesterday ???

I don't know... I'm not Admin... but whether she asked it removed or admin removed it.... imo it was going some places it shouldn't ....

[Ronzo]

I don't know... I'm not Admin... but whether she asked it removed or admin removed it.... imo it was going some places it shouldn't ....
How so?

[revrandy]

How so?

Even she realized she said some things she shouldn't have and removed them...

[SDG]

I agree..Rico..

and I'm not critisizing anybody.. it's just a cautionary note... I think that when two members of the opposite sex are communicating the same hurts and pains concerning their relationship whether Christian or not and the other spouse is not involved it could (future tense) become trouble...

I'm NOT saying anybody here is doing it...

I accept the cautionary concerns ... but this is an open forum .... this discussion was done in plain site ... of everyone .....

we have discussed many "touchy" subjects ... multiple perspectives are good, necessary and healthy... I have huge problems when folks start "pastoring" the rest of us ...

The rule of thumb has always been this is a self-moderating forum ... if you don't like the thread don't visit ...

[Ronzo]

Even she realized she said some things she shouldn't have and removed them...

She willfully removed them.

But how does that translate into the thread going somewhere it shouldn't?


I saw nothing inappropriate said by anyone.

Are my eyes not as good as yours?

[Thad]

I don't know... I'm not Admin... but whether she asked it removed or admin removed it.... imo it was going some places it shouldn't ....


I HATE That !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!

[Rico]

I agree..Rico..

and I'm not critisizing anybody.. it's just a cautionary note... I think that when two members of the opposite sex are communicating the same hurts and pains concerning their relationship whether Christian or not and the other spouse is not involved it could (future tense) become trouble...

I'm NOT saying anybody here is doing it...

Right. I agree with you except for one thing. As long as the communications are in the open forum, and not in private I don't have a problem with people of the opposite sex discussing their situations with each other. Going private is where the danger lies. I wanted to PM Sis T., and didn't, just because I am male and married. That's why I suggested maybe she could get a group of the women folk around here to talk with via pm or maybe Yahoo. That way, she could get things off her chest without it having to be out there for everyone to read. With that said, I felt like the thread was going fine and people were offering help. When things started getting detailed she realized it herself and changed the post. It shows me that she is dealing with this in the right way.

[Trouvere]

I pm'd her to simply say I am praying for and with her.Sometimes those are words enough.

[SDG]

Right. I agree with you except for one thing. As long as the communications are in the open forum, and not in private I don't have a problem with people of the opposite sex discussing their situations with each other. Going private is where the danger lies. I wanted to PM Sis T., and didn't, just because I am male and married. That's why I suggested maybe she could get a group of the women folk around here to talk with via pm or maybe Yahoo. That way, she could get things off her chest without it having to be out there for everyone to read. With that said, I felt like the thread was going fine and people were offering help. When things started getting detailed she realized it herself and changed the post. It shows me that she is dealing with this in the right way.

Sound perspective. Refreshing.

[revrandy]

Right. I agree with you except for one thing. As long as the communications are in the open forum, and not in private I don't have a problem with people of the opposite sex discussing their situations with each other. Going private is where the danger lies. I wanted to PM Sis T., and didn't, just because I am male and married. That's why I suggested maybe she could get a group of the women folk around here to talk with via pm or maybe Yahoo. That way, she could get things off her chest without it having to be out there for everyone to read. With that said, I felt like the thread was going fine and people were offering help. When things started getting detailed she realized it herself and changed the post. It shows me that she is dealing with this in the right way.

I completely agreed with your suggestion...

[Rico]

Sound perspective. Refreshing.

I know. I've been making so much sense the last couple of days I am starting to scare myself! :lol

[SDG]

I know. I've been making so much sense the last couple of days I am starting to scare myself! :lol

Scary indeed .....I love when the truth/thought police run around anxiously around here when they hear perspectives that don't match up to theirs ....

[Ronzo]

Scary indeed .....I love when the truth/thought police run around anxiously around here when they hear perspectives that don't match up to theirs ....

And they applaud when stuff that doesn't match their perspective gets shut down or removed...

[revrandy]

Scary indeed .....I love when the truth/thought police run around anxiously around here when they hear perspectives that don't match up to theirs ....

And they applaud when stuff that doesn't match their perspective gets shut down or removed...

:D....

[Ronzo]

At least you admit it...

[SDG]

http://www.alc1.org/images/SearchforTruth2.jpg

[Rico]

Scary indeed .....I love when the truth/thought police run around anxiously around here when they hear perspectives that don't match up to theirs ....

Everybody has their own opinion, Bro. Sometimes I like it that it's that way around these forums, but other times it sure serves to get things stirred up. I don't walk in the same shoes as someone like Brother Coonskinner. I disagree with lots of things he says. But there have been times that things he's said have hit home with me, so I can't discount what he has to say. No sense in cheating myself out of something that could prove to be very valuable to me, just because of differences of opinions. Brother Epley is another one. If you knew the times I have been so mad at things he's said that I couldn't see straight! But, his consistency is something I have learned that I can count on, so I can't help but have respect for him. In my mind he's a man of God, so, like what he says or not I still have some respect for him. There's libs around here I feel the same way about. Keith for him is considered lib and he is one that comes to mind. It's all good. You can't have one end of the spectrum without having the other end. Otherwise there is no spectrum.

[SDG]

Everybody has their own opinion, Bro. Sometimes I like it that it's that way around these forums, but other times it sure serves to get things stirred up. I don't walk in the same shoes as someone like Brother Coonskinner. I disagree with lots of things he says. But there have been times that things he's said have hit home with me, so I can't discount what he has to say. No sense in cheating myself out of something that could prove to be very valuable to me, just because of differences of opinions. Brother Epley is another one. If you knew the times I have been so mad at things he's said that I couldn't see straight! But, his consistency is something I have learned that I can count on, so I can't help but have respect for him. In my mind he's a man of God, so, like what he says or not I still have some respect for him. There's libs around here I feel the same way about. Keith for him is considered lib and he is one that comes to mind. It's all good. You can't have one end of the spectrum without having the other end. Otherwise there is no spectrum.

There is no spectrum when threads are shut down because of lobbying ....

One thing is report a post that is in blatant violation of the rules ... another is to pontificate about why a thread in their opinion is "inappropriate" ...

[Rico]

There is no spectrum when threads are shut down because of lobbying ....

One thing is report a post that is in blatant violation of the rules ... another is to pontificate about why a thread in their opinion is "inappropriate" ...

Again, we don't know why the thread was taken off, so it's pure speculation on any of our part as to why. Unless, of course, you have the inside scoop? Also, I don't see the Rev as pontificating. He's just saying he didn't think it was going in the right direction. How is that pontificating? Not trying to be rude about it or anything, but sometimes I think you have a huge chip on your shoulder. Which is cool, cause I've had them before myself.

[revrandy]

I wasn't trying to be rude, crude or anything else...

It's happened before and will happen again...

I threw out a caution flag and some got offended... it happens..

[Ronzo]

I wasn't trying to be rude, crude or anything else...

It's happened before and will happen again...

I threw out a caution flag and some got offended... it happens..
Offended? No, I'm not offended by the 'caution'. I'm used to junk like that... to people who have no business in something sticking their nose in it... in the 'name of caution'.

You know what offends me? Being misrepresented by you saying I got offended because you threw out a caution flag.


Bold face lie is what it is.

[revrandy]

Offended? No, I'm not offended by the 'caution'. I'm used to junk like that... to people who have no business in something sticking their nose in it... in the 'name of caution'.

You know what offends me? Being misrepresented by you saying I got offended because you threw out a caution flag.


Bold face lie is what it is.

CupCake got offended....:D

[Ronzo]

CupCake got offended....:D
Prove it.

[revrandy]

What the problem with allowing adults to decide what is right or wrong on their own, and hear from different view points, must we have a babysitter ????


Honestly if little Billy drinks tainted KoolAid , I won't follow his lead.......I really think many here don't give the membership here much credit at shorting through the garbage and taken what's good. Hmmmmmm

Proof enough.... :D

[SDG]

Again, we don't know why the thread was taken off, so it's pure speculation on any of our part as to why. Unless, of course, you have the inside scoop? Also, I don't see the Rev as pontificating. He's just saying he didn't think it was going in the right direction. How is that pontificating? Not trying to be rude about it or anything, but sometimes I think you have a huge chip on your shoulder. Which is cool, cause I've had them before myself.

Rico ... I am very aware .... that this situation may or may not be the case ... please notice ... I have spoken in general terms ... it's something that bothers me in general .... it has happened ....

[Ronzo]

Proof enough.... :D
How do you get "I'm offended" from that?

She makes total sense... and doesn't sound the least bit offended to me.


Maybe my eyesight isn't as good as yours again...

[Rico]

How do you get "I'm offended" from that?

She makes total sense... and doesn't sound the least bit offended to me.


Maybe my eyesight isn't as good as yours again...

Maybe it just sounds a bit whiney to him. "Do we hafta have a babysitter?" See what I mean?

[Ronzo]

Maybe it just sounds a bit whiney to him. "Do we hafta have a babysitter?" See what I mean?
Not whiney... Still rings true.

[revrandy]

Not whiney... Still rings true.

We were all adults on NFCF too.....and things happened.....

[Ronzo]

We were all adults on NFCF too.....and things happened.....
I wasn't there... I had no visibility to such a situation.

[Rico]

Ok, gang. On another thread it was posted by an admin that Sister T asked for the thread to be deleted. That should end any speculation about behind the scenes string pulling or whatever else.

[Ronzo]

Ok, gang. On another thread it was posted by an admin that Sister T asked for the thread to be deleted. That should end any speculation about behind the scenes string pulling or whatever else.
Thanks for the info, Rico.

I didn't see that yet.

[revrandy]

Ok, gang. On another thread it was posted by an admin that Sister T asked for the thread to be deleted. That should end any speculation about behind the scenes string pulling or whatever else.

I think it was probaly best and she used good judgement... I did not indict her on her thread... I HOPE THE BEST for her situation...

[SDG]

Rico ... string pulling is one thing ... lobbying is another ....

[revrandy]

Rico ... string pulling is one thing ... lobbying is another ....

dan...

How many Black unmarked helicopters you seen today??


:D