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-   -   Has a minister ever hurt you? (https://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com/showthread.php?t=24218)

Rhoni 05-14-2009 01:39 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaamez (Post 749286)
Yep... I've been hurt before. But these posts seem to sum up how my family and I got through it. I'll even agree with Bro. Epley and his statement that offenses will either make us better or bitter. Letting go of bitterness is hard, but it frees us to hear the voice of God and see the way more clearly. Bitterness is a poison that will kill us - not the person we are bitter over. Bitterness is the burden of the offended and only he/she can lay it down... and it's a choice.

I can't say I'm completely over what happened, but I'm making progress every day. I don't want anything to do with the man, but I don't wish him harm and I hope he repents for what he has done and the lies he told on us. But that's not my problem anymore. I confronted him (the rebuke, as MOADQ said) and he responded with deafening silence. I've accepted, by God's amazing grace, that there's nothing more I can do. It's between God and him. Besides, as Jeff Arnold says, time and truth are best friends.

If I choose to hold onto bitterness, it hinders me from fulfilling my calling, and it harms the overall cause because the world sees all this nonsense going on. I choose to allow the offense to make me better!

Blessings to you, Sis. A for starting this thread. And thank you to so many others for NOT turning this into a "bash the hurting" thread because we have to defend all pastors at all costs. It's not about pastors needing defense as much as it is saints needing an outlet and being able to heal their hearts.

True:thumbsup

rgcraig 05-14-2009 01:43 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shawndell (Post 749247)
My mom raised my cousin,he was my moms sisters boy so instead of him being my cousin he was my brother just like Brother Eastman is my brother by our mom and dad.Well one time we were in sunday church service and my cousin had his arm on the back of the pew that happened to be around me.The pastor stopped his serman and told us both to stand up when we did he started making discusting remarks about us being imoral and sexual in church and told us if my cousin could not keep his hands to him self then we would have to leave.Every body turned to look at us like we were so awful and I wanted to run out of the church!I was so emberassed that I couldmt lift my head through the whole service.I was omly 14 years old and my cousin was 11 years old.God showed me a long time ago that you dont put your trust in the arm of flesh and if I turn from God over being hurt then that person who hurt me is closer to God than I am.
Oh my word.......

ILG 05-14-2009 02:34 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shawndell (Post 749247)
My mom raised my cousin,he was my moms sisters boy so instead of him being my cousin he was my brother just like Brother Eastman is my brother by our mom and dad.Well one time we were in sunday church service and my cousin had his arm on the back of the pew that happened to be around me.The pastor stopped his serman and told us both to stand up when we did he started making discusting remarks about us being imoral and sexual in church and told us if my cousin could not keep his hands to him self then we would have to leave.Every body turned to look at us like we were so awful and I wanted to run out of the church!I was so emberassed that I couldmt lift my head through the whole service.I was omly 14 years old and my cousin was 11 years old.God showed me a long time ago that you dont put your trust in the arm of flesh and if I turn from God over being hurt then that person who hurt me is closer to God than I am.
Pathetic thing for that pastor to do!

StillStanding 05-14-2009 02:38 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shawndell (Post 749247)
My mom raised my cousin,he was my moms sisters boy so instead of him being my cousin he was my brother just like Brother Eastman is my brother by our mom and dad.Well one time we were in sunday church service and my cousin had his arm on the back of the pew that happened to be around me.The pastor stopped his serman and told us both to stand up when we did he started making discusting remarks about us being imoral and sexual in church and told us if my cousin could not keep his hands to him self then we would have to leave.Every body turned to look at us like we were so awful and I wanted to run out of the church!I was so emberassed that I couldmt lift my head through the whole service.I was omly 14 years old and my cousin was 11 years old.God showed me a long time ago that you dont put your trust in the arm of flesh and if I turn from God over being hurt then that person who hurt me is closer to God than I am.
Oh my word! Public mistreatment like that can leave you with effects that can last for a lifetime!

Rhoni 05-14-2009 02:39 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Steinway (Post 749424)
Oh my word! Public mistreatment like that can leave you with effects that can last for a lifetime!
PTSD for sure. Actually this kind of public humiliation used to be the norm. So glad we have come further in our understanding of scripture.

Blessings, Rhoni

Evang.Benincasa 05-14-2009 03:12 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by rgcraig (Post 749376)
Oh my word.......

Quote:
Originally Posted by ILG (Post 749418)
Pathetic thing for that pastor to do!
I'm not condoning any bad behavior that was done, but listen I have heard horror stories on everything from guru to priest. So here we have another preacher making a mistake with some young people? It's pathetic, it's horrible, it is sad, and, and?

So what if we take this thread when it's done and send it to Daniel C Dennett, Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and Sam Harris,

I wasn't there, you all wasn't there, and the human memory is not a video camera, which records events in perfect sequence. I have heard some doozies about all different religious and ideological groups and when we examine them further the story doesn't stack up as we first heard it.

What was posted might even be more horrific then what was printed here, I don't know. After I post this we may get armies of witnesses posting that the preacher filet the young people open for a week and a half.

Let me ask this question, is the focus of this thread to post horror stories about preachers? Or how to deal with situations and go forward.

In Jesus name

Brother Benincasa

www.OnTimeJournal.com

ILG 05-14-2009 03:17 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Evang.Benincasa (Post 749459)
I'm not condoning any bad behavior that was done, but listen I have heard horror stories on everything from guru to priest. So here we have another preacher making a mistake with some young people? It's pathetic, it's horrible, it is sad, and, and?

So what if we take this thread when it's done and send it to Daniel C Dennett, Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens, and Sam Harris,

I wasn't there, you all wasn't there, and the human memory is not a video camera, which records events in perfect sequence. I have heard some doozies about all different religious and ideological groups and when we examine them further the story doesn't stack up as we first heard it.

What was posted might even be more horrific then what was printed here, I don't know. After I post this we may get armies of witnesses posting that the preacher filet the young people open for a week and a half.

Let me ask this question, is the focus of this thread to post horror stories about preachers? Or how to deal with situations and go forward.

In Jesus name

Brother Benincasa

www.OnTimeJournal.com
Obviously. it's how to deal with situations and go forward, but first, those situations must be named and the experiences validated as the experience and perception of the person telling it. Because all too often, people are told, what you experienced doesn't count, you are just a whiner, now please shut up so we can get on with our lives. For ONCE, a conservative posted a thread about hurts and asked people to please share them. WONDERFUL! For once, a conservative didn't say "Shut up and quit whining". So, let's listen to the valid perceptions of those telling the story as THEIR EXPERIENCE and THEIR HURT and let's allow healing to begin.

Praxeas 05-14-2009 03:18 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by shawndell (Post 749247)
My mom raised my cousin,he was my moms sisters boy so instead of him being my cousin he was my brother just like Brother Eastman is my brother by our mom and dad.Well one time we were in sunday church service and my cousin had his arm on the back of the pew that happened to be around me.The pastor stopped his serman and told us both to stand up when we did he started making discusting remarks about us being imoral and sexual in church and told us if my cousin could not keep his hands to him self then we would have to leave.Every body turned to look at us like we were so awful and I wanted to run out of the church!I was so emberassed that I couldmt lift my head through the whole service.I was omly 14 years old and my cousin was 11 years old.God showed me a long time ago that you dont put your trust in the arm of flesh and if I turn from God over being hurt then that person who hurt me is closer to God than I am.
That's sick. I hope that man repented

Sister Alvear 05-14-2009 03:35 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praxeas (Post 749463)
That's sick. I hope that man repented

disgusting...I would just imagine that man had other problems...

missourimary 05-14-2009 04:35 PM
Re: Has a minister ever hurt you?
 
I have been hurt, and I am ashamed to say that as a saint I have hurt others. I'm not proud of either, and years later still suffer the consequences. It could have been anything from misunderstanding or miscommunication to deliberate willful hurtfulness, but he totally cut me off (won't even fellowship the church I now attend, and he ducks his head and turns away if he sees me at a conference). And I have been hurt since by another pastor and several saints.

When everything happened the first time, I had support from some very good, godly people. I let just a couple of them know what had happened, and knew I had their prayers. One afternoon I was praying, and just started shouting all over the house. As I came back to earth, the phone rang. It was one of the people I had talked to called. He had really felt a burden for me and had been praying. I told him nothing had changed, but everything was alright. And for the first time, I really believed it.

Now, when people tell me about different hurts in their lives, I remind them:
I don't live for people, I live for God.
People fail; God never does.
And believe it or not, all things really do work together for good. God doesn't keep the bad things from happening, because He gives people choices. He didn't chose for the bad to happen, but He didn't let the bad destroy us. He won't stop the bad, but He will turn the bad to beautiful, if we just give Him time.
Nothing can separate us from God but ourselves! :)


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