Prophetic Utterance: The Woes of AFF
 

This just in:

Woe unto you, O Scott Hutchinson; for though the hairs of thine head be few, thy sappy and syrupy posts be many. And though thy heart be good, yet they spelling leaveth much, yea very much to be desired. I counsel thee to sell thy guitar and buy a sword, for of suchh is the kingdom.

And again I say unto thee, Woe!

Woe...I mean WHOA!

This is...

No comment. :D

I'm looking for a guitar...

Well, there ya go. When you pray for the desires of your heart, the Lord will provide. Now, you just have to get Bro. Scott to listen to the Lord.

This just in:

Woe unto thee, O Thad; and again I say, Woe! For thus saith the Scripture, that if thou offendeth one of the little ones, thou wouldst better have a millstone about thy neck, and be cast into the sea. But yea, thou hast not offended the little ones; for the big ones find thee attractive, yea and very attractive, and many are the women I have sent unto thee, even as Rebekah was sent unto isaac, but thou wouldst not.

Hear my word this day: find thee a wife, yea and verily, find her soon, or thou shalt be smitten with emerods until thou shalt only be able to play thine organ standing up; for of such is the kingdom. And again I say, Woe!

lol

:ursofunny :lol :ursofunny

:toofunny

Physician HEAL THYSELF!

Tickle mine ears oh great prophet!! Speak words of merriment unto me!

Lol...do you think he knew you were going to post that?

I am ready to receve that dar word Profit!

git in line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's make a single line behind the altar there and just start praying to yourself until The Prophet can get to you.

u ant no dat dar Binny Hen! I jus git n line en frunt of yous. :D

This just in:

Woe unto thee, O Hoover; for while thy wife is pretty, yea and smart, thou art not as thy wife is, Yea. And though thou sweepest meany chimneys, thou wouldst do well to sweep thine heart, that thou mayest Shockamoo as thou didst before thou left thy first love. And again I say unto thee, Woe!

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Woe unto thee, O Rhoni, and again I say unto thee, Woe! For though thou hast brought healing and wise counsel to many, yet thou hath rejected the counsel I sent unto thee. Yea, is there no balm in Mitchell, Indiana? Is there no physician there? I say, Yea, there is; go unto my servant Epley, whom I have prepared to be a father unto thee, and submit thyself, and thou shalt find a man like unto him for thine husband, for of such is the kingdom.

And again I say, Woe!

Oh, now I say Whoa!

This just in:

Woe unto thee, O Dora, and again I say, Woe! For though thy voice be sweet, and thy countenance fair to look upon, yet I have somewhat against thee concerning Thad, the sweet psalmist of AFF. For because of thee, and thou playing hard to get, he hath pined, yea and longed for thee and thee alone, and hath spurned the brides I have sent unto him; bountiful brides, yea, and brides of much abundance. Because of thee, his song hath a melancholy note, Yea; and because of thee, he mayest grow old going to music conferences with SoCali.

I counsel thee to loose him, and let him go, for of such is the Kingdom.

And again I say unto thee, Woe!

This dude didn't know what he was going to wear when he got up this morning...

Guess I'll just have to split hell wide open...I say "No, to Indiana, and no to Epley!":jolly Ya'll will just have to pray for me!:christmoose

Are you saying the Profit is nekkid?!?

:aaa

This just in:

Woe unto thee, O BOOM, and again I say unto thee, Woe! For though thy posts be many, yet thy mercies be few, yea, and far between. For thou lockest threads and infracteth the little ones that believe in me, verily and often.

I counsel thee to sit at the feet of my servant renda until thou learneth compassion, for of such is the kingdom.

And again i say unto thee, Woe!

Well he sure ain't wearin camel hair and eating locusts...

Oh, dear, a prophet of doom and gloom. Woe is AFF!

Oh, I feel a shockamoo coming on! It's verified that I'm a servant of the King.

Wonder what Epley will think of that?

This just in:

Woe unto thee, O St. Matt, and again I say unto thee, Woe! For though thy godhead doctrine be One, yet thy salvation be three; steps that is. And for the hardness of thine head the tears of those who feel the wrath of thy theology are many, yea, even as the dew that falleth off Mt. Hermon.

And again i say unto thee, Woe!

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Woe unto thee, O Ronzo, and again I say, Woe! For though thou doth abide in the Land I have blessed, even the land below the line men call Mason-Dixon, yet thy manner remaineth even as one from that barren land called New York. And yea, thy accent betrayeth thee also.

I counsel thee to eat grits and collard greens until thou learnest to speak as thou should, and to have manners befitting a texan; for of such is the kingdom.

And again I say unto thee, Woe!

This just in:

Woe unto thee, O Price, and again I say,Woe! For as the fish floppeth upon the bank, so thou didst flip-floppeth in thy younger days, Yea.

I say unto thee, establish thyself lest thou find the cover too short for thee in the day when the wind bloweth from the north, even the place of snow and cold, for of such is the Kingdom.

And again I say unto thee, Woe!

I got ya grits and callahd greenz ritecheah!

:snowing

This thread is not right. Is this a mockery of God or what? Humor is humor but this seems over the line.

:snowing

Oh please.

If you notice the careful wording of the posts, not one ever says "Thus saith the Lord". Though the Prophet is a man of many words, he seems to be a man of principle as well.

Which way went the spirit from me to thee?
Prophesy of me, and with righteous judgement I will discern thy spirit and intent......

I was merely having a little fun with my observations.

Woe unto thee, O Bearded one; for the remnant of thy supper doth abide in thy whiskers.

Ok, I thought you were serious.

False prophet, false prophet, FALSE PROPHET!


I have not eaten supper and the beard is gone!!!!!!!!!


(But , lo, the van dyke remaineth!):jolly:jolly:jolly:jolly

You and me both - guess that's why we aren't prophets!

How many woes have been uttered?

And how many are yet to come?


I'm afeered.