One liners you remember from Ministers
 

Have you ever heard a sermon and one line sticks with you?

For example I remember the following.

Bro. Harry Haygood's message "The King Can Do No Wrong"

Bro. Lee Stoneking message "saints that say, "I wonder what it would be like to etc. are wandering sheep".

Bro. Darryl Hooper message "stretch forth your hand" didn't say what hand, YET the man stretched forth his withered hand.

Can you remember any?

"I'll Shoot Your Monkey" - if you come in my office with a monkey on your back, I'll shoot it or you'll leave my office with it still on your back.

Now that will get your attention.

Pastor Cupples talked about preaching this sermon and said it might be time to pull it out and preach it again. Caught my ears just hearing about it.

Let's name the baby - John Wilhoit (not sure that's how you spell his last name) he said everyone preaches against sin but not very many will name the sin.

"All the fat is the Lord's!" (I believe it was Paul Mooney?) :toofunny

When you're out of the way of duty, you're in the way of temptation -Lee Stoneking

Look where you're going, or you'll end up going where you're looking -Stoneking

The only pill we need is the "gospill". Take the gos-pill, and it'll cure all your ills. -Pastor Scotty Teets, Ozone Park, NY

Even if the terrorists blow us up, they can only blow us as high as heaven... and we're getting off there anyway! - S. Teets

God can't work through us, unless he can first work in us. - Pastor Darrell Johns, Atlanta, GA

The Lord giveth,and the Lord taketh away, but blessed be the name of the Lord! - a preacher, talkng about his growing bald spot.


...

I'd rather aim twice before shooting than shoot twice before aiming. Carroll McGruder
Eternity is too long to be wrong... (and the preachers name escapes me, it's written in one of my Bibles, I'll have to look it up to give proper recognition.

Seems like I heard Charles McHaney preach that as well. :)

Reminds me of a saying of my friend...blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be shot from both sides. :)

I once heard a preacher say, "It's easier to get misunderstanding than Miss America."

;)

Isn't that the truth!

"If this don't light your fire , your woods wet". TFTenney :D

He may be the king of one liners. :)

"After going to hell and back; whats a few more yards" my old pastor.

"Instead of praying and fasting; people are just praying fast!"

You gotta have the want to. Oggs

If it ain't enough...I'll be back...with a sack! (Bishop McMurray taking up an offering)

The preacher who translated the Name of Jesus from different languages...at a funeral. Rosa Parks funeral?? I saw it on CNN and ran the aisle...at my house, lol!

The children of Israel fa*ted over the wall...(Bishop Haney, Wed night service, preaching on Jericho)

They met at the intercourse...I mean intersection....(Pastor of Texarkana UPC back in the day...big tall dude. Hurst?)

Take off your feet you're on holy ground-Crazyjoe

When Bro Black was in Magee Ms my husband attended church there and they had an evangelist and they were having a holy ghost blow out and everyone was shouting and dancing and the evang. said ....

Everyone lets praise him!!! Praise Him... Praise him... I said... STOMP ON JESUS and give the Devil some praise.... Hubby said everything came to a screeching halt and the evang stopped and said what??? ANd then all heated up and really yelling now cuz everyone quit worshipping... said it again... Finally Bro Black went up to him and told him what he said... turned red... knelt to pray and then left the platform!! ROFL....

Reading this thread just makes me miss one of our posters (who is most famous for some of his "one liner" posts) -- even more.

I hope he's lurking, and knows that he is really missed here.

It wouldnt be the person who always posted....

In a straightline?

My favorite.....
"That's MY King, I wonder do ya know him?!!! by the late S.M. Lockridge

Put it in your Godfile...Mooney

There have been many hero's.

Jesus is the "Hero of the Ages" John Eckstadt

From his sermon "Hero of the Ages" a great sermon on the Crucifixion.

Keep the main thing the main thing

-TF often quoted (don't know the author)

... OK ...

uhhhh.....you had to be there. It made sense in the sermon.:happydance

Larry Lea:
I don't steal sheep, but I do grow grass.

TF Tenney:
Don't try to be a chandelier in the ballroom, if you're not willing to be a nightlight in the hallway.

E. Cupples:
Life's too short to dance with ugly women.

John Maxwell:
The issue is never the issue; the issue is always control.

"Where God guides, God provides" - I heard it from Bro Roy Well, now a missionary in Africa (soon to retire :) )

"Without the cross, the stable was just another homeless shelter." I heard this from a local pastor recently.

We had an evangelist one time who admonished us to be:

In time
On Time
All the time
Every time
Excepting when ahead of time.

How does that make the ugly women feel?

(if you are female and ugly feel free to answer)

:oops

We're not offended...we just don't dance much :)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/grap...8/whills28.jpg

Guess you'll give up being an organ grinder now huh? .......:toofunny

Somebody might get hurt up in here.:ouch

:toofunny