I Have AIDS
 

I figured that would get your attention.

The thread I started this morning was one I felt compelled to share because on the attached video it spoke of the shame of AIDS. It spoke of those that needed an example of grace because for so many dying with AIDS there haven't been many examples to cause them to believe that God's grace was sufficient for even their needs.

Many of you I've known or I've met through my years of association with the UPCI. I didn't leave the UPCI, but I realized that it had left me. I am dying of AIDS. I know longer will hide in shame for I was made in my God's image: Though flawed and scarred, I won't ever forget his work in my life. I've lost my wife, my family, my church, but I thank God everyday that I have not lost my faith. I didn't let the tragedies of life harden my heart. I'm no saint by any stretch of the imagination, I'm just a product of my maker's hands.

This day was significant for me in many ways. First of all, for me to telling you of my condition was liberating and a huge step for me personally. The other significance of this day was when I began typing this post, I heard the many thousands who were marching in today's AIDS walk along Allen Parkway. I live just off of Allen Parkway in downtown Houston and I forgot that today was the march.

I was there marching with them this time last year, though I was ill, I finished the walk. I didn't want to believe it would be my last one, but somehow I knew it would be. I'm thankful that there are those that take the time to care about raising awareness and funds in the battle against AIDS.

I've been very emotional today realizing the tremendous need of workers to minister to the outcast of our society: Workers who know Jesus and could be an effective tool of the Lord to reach those nearest to death.

Through my ministry, I've worked side by side with many people including gay ministers. Many who meant well by devoting their time to AIDS suffers, but became an obstacle to their salvation. Without the power of the Holy Ghost and the authority of Jesus' name the devils won't leave those on their death beds. He almost has them for eternity.

I've witnessed souls that at the very last moment screamed Jesus, Jesus! The screams of one bound for hell. There are people on this forum who have been deceived if they think there is no hell. Sit beside a bed of a man who saw the demons coming for him, who earlier denied there ever was a Christ and yet spent his last bit of energy screaming in terror for mercy.

We are living in the last days and there is such a spirit of deception that's been at work for many years and it is now that we see the fruits of that spirit. That spirit is the spirit of the Antichrist. God wants us to live in liberty and grace, but don't comprise the truth to the point that deception.

This week God showed me that his word was true once again. I had been contemplating for several months whether to sell my house and move to something more manageable. I have all this space, but I only live in three rooms. It just didn't make a whole lot of sense to stay here.

I was approached by a lady I knew while working and she told me that God had spoken to her about me and she had a home that she wanted me to come look at. It just so happens that she lives in a home directly behind the one she wanted me to look at.

She lost both of her parents in the last two years and never had any children. She had been lonely and while praying in a Catholic mass the Lord whispered my name to her. I was able to go see the home this week and I knew it was God's plan and his timing.

He promised to give us the desires of our hearts if we would follow him and not only does he give us what we desire, he ensures that every detail is giving to us.

I wanted two master bedrooms for privacy if the time came that I would need assistance and personal care. Also, I wanted a space for my home office and lots of windows to let in the sunshine. Not only did he give me all of that, but each bathroom has those big cast iron tubs, with the claw feet just like the one from my childhood. Only Jesus knew that I wanted a big cast iron tub with claw feet that I can take long baths.

I thank my loving Jesus who gave me life and hope through the darkest of times. I lift him up and give him all that I have for he is all that I ever wanted. He is my everything. I spend every day with him: He loved me and accepted me when no one would: He never left me when others fled: He was my family when I had no family: He gave strength and encouragement when hope seemed all but lost.

I apologize for this being so lengthy, but I'm not sure if after what I've disclosed if I would be welcomed back. I would want you to know that people need love and fellowship regardless of what society would think of them. Give a part of yourself to minister to others outside of your comfort zone. I'm not asking for myself...I'm asking for those who would never ask for fear of being rejected.

May God richly bless you and keep you in perfect peace. Never put limits on the grace and mercy of our Father.

chosenbyone
livingbygrace

PS: Cooper you keep fighting the good fight and pray daily that God would heal the wounds that you may not even see: Sister, Rhoni, send me an email. I'm looking forward to your visit next month: RRford, Coonskinner and Malvaro give Rhoni a break and pick on each other for awhile: Dan thanks for sharing your tunes and being a cool brother in the Lord. You made me laugh on days that laughter was much needed: Falla39 thank you for being a lovely example of a Christian: Barb your sweet nature really shines on this forum. Your toughness and your smile reminds me of my dear mother: Felicity don't change a thing....your simplistic style of writing and your wit brought many smiles....you're so sweet.




http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com...&postcount=214
http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com...&postcount=222

Dear Brother in Christ and friend,
I have never met you. I did feel the spirit of the Lord come over me when I read your post. I know the Lord has used it to include me in your walk. Your willingness to share wilth us took much strength and faith. It was not the wrong thing to do.

Please reach me via PM and you will always have someone you can talk with....

Your Brother in Christ,

Nathan Eckstadt

Chosenbyone,

Rhoni gave you good advice. Did you take her advice?

You seem resigned to going to be with the Lord. Maybe He has more for you to do?

I'll be praying for you.

Chosenbyone,

I hope that you find more laughter and support from this forum in the days to come!

CBY, your honesty should be disarming to any who would dare to criticize you. Obviously, you know that the only freedom comes from a person, not a doctrine; a relationship and not a religion. It is the ONLY thing that sets the captive free.

May the Lord use you to help those who are in bondage find HIM and the true freedom that will take them to glory!!! D:

My dear brother,

I am humbled by your candor. I am here ....as a friend and brother in Christ.

Please tell me what I can do ... I'm here for you ... PMed you, Chosen.

I will be praying for you.

In His and your service,
Dan

I Have AIDS
 

Dear Brother,

God bless you for your openness, and honesty! We are told in God's

Word that he that confesseth his sin and forsaketh it shall find mercy!!

Those who hide their sin, it will not be well with them. We have all, in

different ways sinned and come short of God's mercy. But we have found

mercy because we did not continue but forsook sin and confessed it, first

of all to Jesus Christ, who is the ONE who died for our sins. Oh what that

should mean to every sinner saved by the power and grace of Almighty God!!

Brother, I just heard someone say recently that they are very close to

finding a cure for Aids. Even so, our God can totally heal ANY disease. So

don't give up HOPE just yet! God may not be through with you yet! Take

courage, God is BIGGER and GREATER than we have ever been able to

comprehend with our minds! I truly believe that!!

May God direct your path as you look to Him for your future. We all are

doing the same thing! We all have to trust our lives and futures in His

Precious Nail-scarred Hands!! I wish I could kiss HIS PRECIOUS HANDS and

tell HIM how very much I love HIM and want to do except HIS PERFECT

WILL!!

Blessings, Brother, in Jesus Name!

Falla39

OK I will bite. There are no gay ministers. Homosexuality is still sin.

For the record; I had a "gay" friend who was dying of AIDS and mislead a couple of forums for possibly a year. He led us to believe he had come back to Christ and repented of his sins. After we all got to know him and care deeply about him, he led us to believe he died.

Only later we found out he was still alive and very much still a player and in fact had attempted to recruit another poster who was having issues.

So forgive me if this post comes across on the harsh side; but I already been there (sympathetic), done that and have the tshirt. Now I am gun-shy.:drawguns

Do you believe homosexuality is a sin; rather in a monagamous relationship or not?

Speechless.

I'd like to hear the answer to this too.

Amen.

i count it an honor to even be mentioned in the same sentence as RRFord and CS..... i don't have any need to pick on them as they clearly believe the same as me and are willing to stand for the same type of things....

i wasn't afraid to stand against anything Rhoni said that I didnt agree with on NFCF and I don't plan to back down here on AFF.... its funny how folks come outta the woodwork to champion Rhoni whenever anyone says anything against her statments but won't blink an eye when she wigs out and later admits to speaking rashly due to stress/spiritual attack/etc....

i'm not going to lose sleep over it, but i find the double-standard humerous.... :D

Brother I am sorry if you found no solice within the church walls but there are those who are out touching lives of many who are in your situation.I have a dear friend who moved back to his family home and church.He repented of his sins and was the minister of music for the church there.He then found out he was positive from the past lifestyle.Not only did the church support him and his family in every area but they would leave the building after service and go and hold service in his home while he laid on the sofa in the last stages.
Love is the greatest gift.Maybe alot of people reject someone in your circumstance but I only know of those loving someone to the end.
Hang in there.God is still on the throne.

Word of advice to all posters:

Proceed with much caution. Something's not quite right here.

*Duhn duhn duuuhn* Some dramatic music for ya

Agreed.

...just thinking about all that has been said here...

Sounds right.

Well .............

God is good and His mercy endures forever! :)

Whether he admits it's a sin or not ... do we condemn him right now or show compassion ????

Did the adulterous woman, who was caught in the act ... admit her sin??? ... yet Jesus did not condemn her .. but urged her to go and sin no more.

One can exercise caution and compassion at the same time.

Agreed ... let's allow Chosen to answer.

Exactly what I am doing.

Absolutel NOT!

You must throw caution to the wind.

Embrace compassion without any guidelines or rules.















TIC

Agreed. I urge everyone to read through the original post several times.

I am very compassionate, but lets be careful and analyze the best way to employ said compassion.

Careful, you only have a fifteen minute window in which to delete posts OP.

Should be 120

Chosen, I have a couple of questions. Please know that I care deeply about your situation, and pray God's mercy and grace continues to shine on your life.

1. Are you actively involved in an Apostolic church now?
2. Do you currently minister to other homosexuals outside of church?

Perhaps this link that he also provided will shed some light on whether or not he's actively involved ....

http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com...&postcount=214

Although I wasn't involved with the person Newman speaks of, her and I as well as Lisa were involved in a poster who also 'died', only to discover about a year later that it was just a little joke.

I'm still not finding it funny.

Forgive me if I'm not taking this seriously.

There was a man who was a member of FCF. He had a brain tumor. I had personal contact with him for a few months but then it stopped. I believe he passed, as he didn't have long to live. I've thought of calling his wife to find out but I've left it alone. I believe he's gone.

Due to the other experience I had by an Apostolic man who also happens to be a minister, I won't ever put that much trust in anyone again.

Not on the internet.

How do you know this is the same poster?

One would have to assume so since in post 1 ... Chosen provided this link with his admission ... see bottom of post 1.

What's the problem???

Oh. Even with that I think I will still proceed carefully. Neither post really states how he contracted AIDS.

Agreed, brother. Apparently, Rhoni knows about this situation since Chosen stated she would be visiting him next month ... [post 1]

Paragraph four intimates the cause of the disease rrford.

Intimates it. But not to be accusing, which is not my intent, but I have heard such statements used as a "sanitized" covering for the actual problem.

I'm not sure I'm following what you and the others are saying.

What does it matter how he became infected with the AIDS virus? If he sinned and has since repented, then God has forgiven him. If it was by a needle stick or blood transfusion, would that make it more palatable to feel compassion on him?

Makes no difference to me ...

I don't think anyone here is lacking in compassion actually.

Apparently you are ot seeing this the way I am thinking. Compassion is not dependant upon the circumstance. That is not the issue. But I don't feel we have the necessary details to offer blanket compassion and support. And I defintiely do not think that all of the details need to be posted here.

If there has been true repentance, which we are not even sure is necessary as we are not sure this person was/is involved in homosexual practices, then that is awesome. If there has been no true repentance then my compassion will be tempered with the admonishement to find repentance. Thus, careful compassion is the order of the day, IMO.