You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

1. The amount of money you spend on hairspray exceeds your gas bill.

2. Your Pastor announces midweek services EVERY Sunday night.

3. You (or the ladies you know) can swim in a denim skirt and still have fun.

4. Your brother or sister in the Lord husgs you right in the middle of Wal-Mart

5. the musicians at your church can tear it up, but none of them can read sheet music.

6. You have 50 pairs of church shoes.

7. You can stopping runs in stockings with just about anything.
8. You are considered an old maid if you are not married by the age 25.
9. You consider BibleCollege as higher education.
10. Running the aisle and jumping up and down is part of your excercise program.
11. A birthday party is a night on the town.
12. You could be an Olympic volleyball player with all the practice from church functions
or the Grand Champion washer pitcher.
13. The pastor says, "With this thought, I close" or "And I'm closing now." more than 3 times.
14. Your church choir moves like Kirk Franklin's group.
15. You have adequate respect for the power of flying hairpins.
16. Your feet have been stomped on at least 3 times during a service.
17. A run in your last pair of stocking is a national disaster.
18. You judge a church service by swollen eyes, rumpled clothes, and disheveled hair.
19. Your kids know how to eat any crunchy food quietly.
20. When shopping for skirts, you always run it through the "Praise the Lord", test.
21. Sunday means no cooking and no dish washing.
22. You can maneuver into a vehicle without messing up your hairdo.
23. Celebrating your 18th & 21st birthday doesn't mean much.
24. The employees at the local restaurant know you by name.
25. You can always find hairpins on the floor after a good service.
26. You can pronounce, Habakkuk.
27. Sundays, Mondays, and Thursdays are the hardest days to wake up in the morning.
28. Your day of rest includes 2 church services, choir practice and Golden Corral.
29. Growing up you baptize your cousins and sibblings several times in the swimming pool.
30.When your kids have baptized their dolls, cats and dogs.
31. You hear singing, shouting, and preaching from your childs bedroom to their stuffed animals or dolls.
32. Your 4 year old runs through Wal-Mart shouting, "Praise the Lord! *clap*clap*clap* Yes, Lord!, Thank
You Jesus! or Hallelujah!"
33. Your tan line is below the knees.
34. You have made, eaten, or sold more than your fair share of peanut brittle.
35. When camp meeting or general conference is your family's yearly planned vacation.

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

Oh yeah... Totally my life

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

You also know you are Apostolic, if your Pastor's wife stands at the platform with a ruler to messure the split in you skirt!!!!

Or you get in trouble for saying Easter instead of Resurrection Sunday :)

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

You are allowed to have splits:) Our assistand pastor used to carry safety pins around with her for our splits!!! If they were above the knee, they were pinned! :) She was precious... That was years ago and believe me, some of the splits were sky high!:ursofunny

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

ROFLOL!!!! My grandma did that to us when we were younger. She said if you step on the platform, and can see the bend of your knee, either pin it, sew it, or don't wear it!!!

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

what

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

You might be apostolic if ...
your church takes longer to take the prayer requests than to actually pray for them.

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

The list is quite long.........

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

How about "You might be apostolic if your a lady astronaut and this is what you look like on your spacewalk......"

http://i174.photobucket.com/albums/w...eWalkerUPC.jpg

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

:ursofunny:ursofunny:ursofunny:bliss:bliss:bliss

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

[QUOTE=Rhoni;420082][FONT=Arial][SIZE=3][FONT=Arial]
5. the musicians at your church can tear it up, but none of them can read sheet music.

QUOTE]

I have to disagree! I read the sheet music... My husband can real it. The choir directors I had in Florida always had sheet music. The church I was in last read sheet music.... ....and we always tore it up! :)

just putting my 2cents in.....

ok, carry on now!

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

Reminds me of my first piano lesson at JCM. My piano teacher was Dan Dean. He sat down and played a magnificent rendition of "Near the Cross". He told me that he expected me to play that by the next session [one week]. I had just graduated from John Thompson's "Teaching Little Fingers to play". I looked at him and said, "Yeah, right. In your dreams."

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

[QUOTE=LadyChocolate;420454]I've often wondered....why 2 cents and not a nickle? I also wonder why we drive on parkways and park on driveways....oh well.....:kickcan

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

Now, that was funny! :heeheehee

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

You are most likely Apostolic if when the moon is full and is orange you think the world is coming to an end.

You actually think the healings on Bennie Hinn are real.

You think Jan Crouch is Angie Dickinson the actress.

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

:ursofunny:ursofunny:ursofunny:ursofunny:ursofunny

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

A "Police Woman"? :)

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

She still good when she did that show. Have you seen her lately?

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

Yes. And she STILL looks good. :)

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

If you compare her to other 70 somethings...

She looks better than Clint Eastwood.

Re: You Might Be Apostolic IF...
 

Well, yes. Compared to others in their 70's.... I assumed that.

:IAM