Humorous things that have happened in Church
 

Ok, here is your chance to tell. Write something funny that has happened at your church; slips of the tongue, shouting, easter play disasters, etc. Be truthful, and change names to protect the innocent!

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There was an obese woman who was shouting and her panties came off.

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We've had several of these kinds of threads in the past.

I think Mark started one from our former forum that was priceless. Had a LOT of good stories on that one. :gaga

Here's a link to some Pulpit Bloopers. I think this was the latest thread on this subject.

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has anyone ever had someone come out of the restroom with toilet tissue coming out of the backside ??? haha!

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Boy, there is something just wrong in that.

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Worse than that, with they're skirt/dress tucked into they're pantyhose.

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My favorite is I went into the ladies room and before I turned the light on I heard water splashing. I thought that was odd, turned the light on. There was a squirrel in the toilet with it's paws on the seat and it's tail splashing in the water. I screamed, people rushed in. Noone knew what to do. My teenage daugther went to the car grabbed a blanket and scooped it up and took it outside and released it.

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well when you weigh 385 lbs things happen :bliss

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Bellydancers.

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Ok, here is one that counts as a slip of the tongue. My dad is the guilty party. There is an old hymn called, "I would not be denied." I think the correct line in the song is "till Jesus comes and makes me whole." Well my Pastor always asked that we sing, "till Jesus comes and blesses my soul." We were visiting another church and sure enough they sang the hymn. My Dad started to sing the way our Pastor did the song, but mid line realized his mistake and switched. So you boldly sang out "Till Jesus come and blesses my whole." Of course, everyone heard, "till Jesus comes and blesses my hole." Several people turned to look at my Dad and laughter broke out to the point that some had to walk out to gain composure and my Dad was holding his face buried between his knees in embarressment.

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That is hilarious!!!!

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It really was, especially all the men standing around trying to think of what to do. :toofunny

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Also this was right after services and I had to wait until another lady got through. She said, how did I miss a squirrel in the toilet. We all busted out laughing.

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Has anyone ever seen a woman come out of the bathroom with her dress tucked up in her hiney--and NOT told her? :D I HAVE. hehe

Was it wrong of me to let it go like that? :D :D :D ...Yes. I am a terrible, TERRIBLE person. :D

THAT makes me a Gold Star Member of the BFM Club. (Whose members are mostly nonexistent[here]. Sniff.)

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I didn't really think this was funny at the time, but..................... I used to sit in the back row of the church. This 85 year old sister got up to go to the bathroom, and either thought the coast was clear or couldn't hold it in any more. She started farting to the beat of every step she took! When she fired off the first round, I was like, "what?????" I turned around and there she was, makin music to the beat of her own footsteps; fart, fart, fart, fart, fart! :killinme She was old too, and took short steps everywhere she went! I never said a thing to her about that day! :D

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We had a lady standing talking to my brother, the pastor at the church, and while talking to him her panties feel to the floor and she walked right out of them like she did not know they had even fallen off.


Our church was converted from an OLD BARN. We had the biggest oak beams holding it up running willy nilly around the place. One service a young lady took of running the isles with her EYES CLOSED. Yep you guessed it, right smack into one of those big oak beams just as she got to full speed. The funny thing is it was right in the front of the church so EVERYONE saw it. She did just like the cartoons, feet and hands up when she hit and she slid down the thing and fell out flat on her back. Now the bad news, she must not have been in the spirit because she broke her collar bone.

My dad then said that the Bible speaks of watch and pray and he wanted everyone to practice that ESPECIALLY when they worshipped.

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Well, that's the only dignified thing TO do! ROFL!!!!!!

Yikes!

That's funny--my dad used to say the same thing. :) We had this guy in our church who would flail his arms and hit anything or anyone in his vicinity. So my Dad told him to leave his eyes open. LOL! I guess he thought he couldn't be spiritual if his eyes were open.

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:heeheehee

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One service we had one of those Holy Ghost blowouts. Two olde ladies stood facing each other with fingers pointing just jabbering away in tongues like they were in an argument. That as funny to watch.


My brother was preaching one night and his zipper was not zipped up. I was sitting on the front row and he kept walking back and forth in front of me. Of course I noticed his shirt showing through his pants zipper and decided to tell him. So everytime he came by I would say, just loud enough for him to hear, :your fly is undone". I must have said it a dozen times before he realized what I was saying and immediately he dodges behind one of those infamous beams and says "everyone raise your hands and close your eyes and give God some praise".

At another church we went to a guest minister was preaching and must have realized his fly was open and went behind the pulpit to zip up. Only thing is our pulpit had a glass front and everyone saw it. People started laughing and he realized he was caught. It really threw him off and he had a terrible time finishing that message.

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I think there are many who have that notion

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I opened my eyes up once, while God was doing one of those helicopter things with me. Whew! Never did that again! I always kept my eyes open when running though. Didn't do me much good the night I hit the wall at full force, though. Didn't even get a scratch, THANK YA JESUS!!

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Me and my dignified northern self was visitin my sister in Vidalia LA and the service was going good. I decided I would run around the church because not much could go wrong with that. I certainly was not going to DANCE around that place. Those people are nuts. I was NOT like them.
I ook out and made it around to the right hand side of the front and tripped and ROOOOOOOOLLLLLLLEEEEEDDDDDDD all the way across the front of the church. I just decided to lay there and let them think I was in the spirit and at some good point get up and go back to my seat. Thankfully know one caught on to me. Till now and I told on myself. Yes folks that northern boy rolled across the front of your church. I was not in the spirit when it happened I was very much in my clutsy ole flesh.

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Here's somethin funny that happened in church.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8bLPELvj7I4

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we recently had a visitor bring McDonald's to church.

she ate her burger and fries during the preaching. and had a soda to drink.

I was shocked that no one stopped her !

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As a teen, I really knew nothing about apostolic churches. One evening while strolling along with an ice cream cone, I happened upon a Pentecostol tent revival. Curiously, I went inside, sat down, and continued to eat my ice cream. Well it must have caused a stir, because, my mom knew about it before I got home that evening. Being the good Baptist preachers daughter she was....she wore my rear end out!!!!!!
LOL

Blessings!

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That happened to my Aunt one time when she went to a meeting (I think it was a special singing event) at a large church. She and her friend had been running a little late, but they thought they had gotten lucky when the usher escorted them right up front to be seated.

My aunt said that to her horror, her panties fell down to her feet and tripped her right as she was about to be seated. She said she just grabbed those suckers and threw them in her purse.

And, yes, she has always been a large woman too! That never seemed to bother her though...she always viewed herself as one sexy mama (except for maybe that night when her panties fell to the floor).

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My youngest daughter, when she was about 5 years old walked up on the platform to an open mic after church and started singing a Garth Brooks song, I've Got Friends in Low Places. Thankfully only a few people were still there and they just laughed.

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I used to sing in a trio with my sisters starting at a very young age. One night I or one of my sisters messed some part of the song up and I started laughing. The more I laughed the angrier I could see one of my sisters getting until she ended up walking right off the platform.

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I was hoping for at least one person to ask me what I meant, so I'll just tell ya anyway.

There was a woman in her 50's who was going to get married and she was so happy that she started doing these elaborate dances. Looked like a belly dancer to me.

One time during church when she was doing her bellydancing, another woman didnt like it and made that woman sit down. She took her by the hand and led that woman back to her seat and made her sit down. :toofunny

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Sounds like she either was a bitter old maid or else she was just jealous the other lady was happy about getting married and her own marriage was not so good.


That is funny. I can see it now.

When I was about 12 I started helping in the camp kitchen. I have always loved to cook, even from a young age. Besides the ladies in the kitchen were actually much more fun then the kids were. They were older and wiser and more compassionate.
Ondear sister was rather heavy. She was funny. She was showing me how to whip up the heavy cream and make it into a whipped topping. As it started to thicken it got all jiggly and she started laughing and said, "hey it looks like me" and started moving around and making her stomach jiggle, Sorta like an overweight belly dancer. We were all laughing very hard when she sqeales like a pig and runs off for the bathroom. She had laughed so hard she started to pee her pants, which made us all laugh even harder.


We had a guy at camp that was nasty. He was one of those people with a spirit that even a young person could pick up on and know he did not have good intentions. I had a Mason jar of iced tea that I had been drinking. He had gotten to know that I kept it around and always full. One of the ladies had filled another jar with bacon grease. He comes through sees the bacon grease and askes if it is my tea. Me, I just look up and say yes. He picks it up and downs a big gulp of it. He comes up spitting and gagging and yelling because I had told him it was tea. He never asked if it was my tea again and never tried to drink after me any more either. NOW THAT ONE GOT A HUGE LAUGH FROM THE ENTIRE KITCHEN. Sorry to say but none of us liked him or trusted him.

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On that note, years ago we had a guy knock a fire extinguisher off the wall while shouting with his eyes closed, it cleared the building in about 60 seconds!! That stuff was everywhere!! :happydance

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Hahha,.. I have really enjoyed this thread!!!

Rico,... I love that Mississippi Squirrel revival song! I even preached a Message on it once,..hahaha

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We have no humorous things at our church. It is all serious business.:boxing:tic

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I have a friend who was pastoring a home missions church. It was running about 50 folks so their tape ministry was not very active.

However after one service an amazing number of people stood in line to buy tapes. My freind was feeling really good about his sermon, that it must have been more of a masterpiece than he had thought.

Until later getting in the car his wife told him that in the course of his sermon he made reference to the "Presidential election" going on at the time only in the word "election" he had substituted the letter "r" for the letter"L". LOL!!!!!

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I once heard of a UPC preacher who dressed up as an elvis impersonator and preached

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I don't care who you are that there's funny

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Vegas?

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nope in the south

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hmmm,.... do I dare?.... it certainly would be a message that the brothers would never forget.

:bliss

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Go for it

give our pastor something funny to talk about. =)