Why People Lie
 

The person, however, who seems to feel compelled to lie about both the small and large stuff has a problem. We often call these folks pathological liars (which is a description, not a diagnosis). They lie to protect themselves, look good, gain financially or socially and avoid punishment.

Quite often the person who has been deceived knows that this type of liar has to a certain extent deluded him or herself and is therefore to be somewhat pitied.A much more troubling group is those who lie a lot — and knowingly — for personal gain.

These people may have a diagnosis called antisocial personality disorder, also known as being a sociopath, and often get into scrapes with the law. Lying often gets worse with the passage of time. When you get away with a lie it often impels you to continue your deceptions. Also, liars often find themselves perpetrating more untruths to cover themselves.

Why do we dislike liars, especially sociopaths, so much? It’s a matter of trust.

Serious deception often makes it impossible for us to trust another person again. Because the issue of trust is on the line, coming clean about the lie as soon as possible is the best way to mend fences.

If the truth only comes out once it is forced, repair of trust is far less likely.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4072816/

Re: Why People Lie
 

Interesting.... :hmmm

Re: Why People Lie
 

"It's tied in with self-esteem," says University of Massachusetts psychologist Robert Feldman. "We find that as soon as people feel that their self-esteem is threatened, they immediately begin to lie at higher levels."

But bald-faced lies (whether they involve leaving out the truth or putting in something false), are harmful, as they corrode trust and intimacy—the glue of society.

People are so engaged in managing how others perceive them that they are often unable to separate truth from fiction in their own minds, Feldman's research shows.

Men lie no more than women, but they tend to lie to make themselves look better, while women are more likely to lie to make the other person feel better.


Extroverts tend to lie more than introverts, Feldman found in similar research involving a job-interview situation.



http://www.livescience.com/health/060515_why_lie.html

Re: Why People Lie
 

Re: Why People Lie
 

Id be interested in Rhoni's comments

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I started thinking about this because of some accusations against a preacher. If true, why?

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I know someone who is a pathological liar.

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I have known people who will lie even when they know that YOU KNOW that they're lying. I just don't understand it.

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Do you think they were aware they were like this? The articles seem to suggest that at some point they loose touch with reality and don't realize they are lying anymore because they lie to themselves

Spiritually speaking I find this to be a very dangerous position to be in

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I have known folks that lied so much that even when they were telling the truth they acted like they were lying. I wonder if this is why lying is so warned against in the bible? Eventually in order to keep doing this the liar has to deceive themselves and that leads to being deluded

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No, not after a certain amount of time, their mind is just different. I believe he is not able to distinguish between a lie and the truth, or right from wrong.
I don't think he was born that way, but that circumstances and environment contributed to it.

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I know a sociopathic narcissitic liar.

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I think my thing is...why or how do Christians end up being like this? I have heard evangelists spin some story to us and felt intellectually insulted because this guy really expected me to believe the tripe he was dishing out. Im not saying all evangelists or preachers are like that, but I have heard stories preached that were tabloid stories you read while standing in line at WalMart. And the fact someone is peddling this stuff to me and expecting me to shout over it is insulting and tells me maybe this guy was trying to make up for a lack of anointing or hearing from God maybe? I don't know.

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I do not agree with this as much as I did the first one. It is placing blame on another person for the liar. In other words it is giving the liar an out.

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Nobody is born that way. How they end up that way is an interesting topic as well as how they are apparently oblivious to the fact that they practice deception, not just of others but of themselves.

Re: Why People Lie
 

I have heard stories from the pulpit that the preacher is using because it moves people emotionally, but there's not a thread of truth to it! I would be afraid of God to stand in the pulpit and tell things just for effect (and then laugh about it later!).

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Yes, but in their mind they are not lying. YOU just don't understand THEIR truth.

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Read it again. It is saying the LIAR does it to get a rush. It's saying that most people that lie (not the sociopaths) do it to escape consequences. I dont see in there anything about blaming it on someone other than the liar

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I am talking about the couple Prax, the doctor was saying she was trying to control him, so that is why he was lying about the pornography. It gave him an out to some degree.

Re: Why People Lie
 

Me too. That bothers me. Preaching should be based on truth. And I don't have a problem with manipulating emotions if it is done by theatrical preaching (preaching with emphasis), but not by lying. If the Spirit is working with the message then you don't need those gimmicks.

I think that is what bothers many of us...gimmicks. And I think that is what turns off the rest of the world that has an opinion of Pentecostals and Charismatics...that we use gimmicks. You might have a hard time convincing a naysayer, atheist or otherwise skeptical person with gimmicks...particularly those that are intelligent. Now with a sound wise argument based on the word of God you have a better chance and particularly if the Spirit is moving on his heart.

This is why we need to have more teaching and learning AND more Spirit.

But TRUE Spirit vs false spirit does not come by games or tricks or lies. Even psychics can do cold readings to fool some people into believing they heard from a spirit

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Oh my, I would be afraid to do that.

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Oh. Well the Dr did say he was NOT saying it was ok to lie. He said "you asked why he lied" and he told her.

All that is beside the point. He lied to hide something. Which is also one of my views of liars. They have something to hide, or they THINK they have something to hide.

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This is true. Some people lie because their conscience is seared, therefore, it doesn't bother them in the least. Another aspect.

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I like this thread...

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I believe you..........

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I think a lot of serial killers and the like are this way. Some of them can be very charming, like Ted Bundy was. But that is only a tool for self gratification I think.

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I had family members who were liars. Father and son. They definitely could not be trusted to tell the truth. So sad they both passed away at an early age in their 30's. I'm not sure if this was in the genes or not.

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It's an evil spirit to which they give heed to. Sin is not genetic.

Peter asked Ananias, Why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Ghost?

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Or the carnal nature, like all sin

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Yes I agree. Long story about the effect upon their lives . To many sad memories of that time. :tissue

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I was married to a pathological liar, and he definitely became that way during a series of traumatic events. The death of a parent at a young age, the desire to please and not upset people after that, and the use of drugs to escape from his reality. It really is tragic to me, but the problem is, that after a while, it really does become a way of life.

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Is that something different from genes? Do we have chromosomes for lying, murder, idolatry, pride?

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Those are probably learned traits

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or behaviors

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Cain? who taught Cain to murder?

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Dunno, but how can it be genetic?

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Cain was cutting edge. Innovative. He failed to listen to his elders I guess.

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I'm not saying it is genetic. Why do you ask me that?

I'm saying it is a work of the flesh that is instigated by the tempter. I give the enemy his due for being the persistent one that he is.

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No, Cain was of that wicked one.

Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it. John 8:44

Not as Cain, who was of that wicked one, and slew his brother. And wherefore slew he him? Because his own works were evil, and his brother's righteous. 1 John 3:12

Re: Why People Lie
 

I use to have a quote from on my signature from Francis Bacon. He eloquently said that when someone lies -- he or she goes boldly before God and shrieks before man. I believe we lie because in that moment we fear that person more than we fear God.

But then there is the pesky lie of Rahab and she was even later counted righteous.