Honest question to Preachers
 

How often do you preach on Marriage & Divorce?

If this Sunday God told you it's time to bring order to my church.. .and he told you to adress the young people about the value of marriage.. could you comfortably say the following words to your youth?

"Children, think long and hard before marriage... pray and fast and seek godly counsel because our God only allows for ONE COVENANT OF MARRIAGE... he only recognizes marriage for a lifetime.... do not enter it lightly.. because it is Gods most sacred institution" Also children if you choose wrong... you will reap the seeds of that bad choice for a lifetime..... and those seeds produce a lonely life.... so as your Pastor I beg of you WAIT FOR MARRIAGE....... there is no 2nd guessing... its for a lifetime"

Man could you imagine how the divorce epidemic would stop if our preachers could preach like that again,, how we could salvage the next generation of Christians........

but...... if they do not hear it and see it they like their parents will continue the pattern,, they will marry on a trial basis to see how it works out.... I TELL YOU MEN OF GOD.. it's somebodys fault... somebody will answer to God for this stain of remarriages in Gods Holy Church

So,, could you preach the above sermon this weekend without fear of repercussions?

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

So basically you saying it is best to simply NOT get married. After that paragraph, who would want to even risk it?

Better to just put the very idea of marriage in the closet along with all the other incomplete things in life.... and go watch some TV.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

Oh No brother...... you stand there as their Pastor as a living example of how beatiful the right choice can be.. as your lovely wife stands by your side and your children call both of you blessed... oh its a beautiful thing

but of course if you cant be that example I could understand why you couldn't preach it.. and thus my whole point has just been made why remarried people should not be leading the flock of God

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

I think the "divorce" battle is lost as far as the church is concerned.

50 years ago at a UPC where I was a part of the membership we had:

1. a woman who was not allowed to testify or take any active part because she and a lover had run her husband off and then they later married one another.

2. Her lover had later been baptized but did not receive the Holy Ghost. He had married her and because their little affair happened before he got baptized he was OK as a "member" of the church

3. That woman's husband had left after being run off by his wife and her lover but if he would show up he could be OK because his wife had committed adultery.

4. Our SS supt. had been raised in the church and had been divorced and remarried but that was OK because it happened before he had received the Holy Ghost baptism.

5. A couple had divorced. He wanted to get married so the pastor asked his ex-wife to sign a paper saying she had been unfaithful so the man's marriage would be OK. She refused, married someone else and went to another OP church where she and her new husband were both OK. The former husband got married and was "OK" in the church.

6. One couple split up (he had an affair with his sister-in-law) and when his wife asked about how she could divorce him she was advised that she didn't need to "prove" adultery because "we don't do that any more."

And there were various folks who had been divorced at different times. Each case was individual. The pastor taught that "judgment begins at the house of God" so whatever happened before you became part of the church didn't count. He also taught that adultery only allowed the "innocent" one to divorce and remarry. Of course you don't know what went on in and out of the bedroom for all those folks but there were a lot of second marriages.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

Bro SAM BINGO..... some men of God somewhere must rise up,, we must push aside peoples petty feelings and get BACK TO THE WORD>. the whole scenario you just described was all in my church as a child.. we had people with x husbands and wives sitting on the same church with each other.... and the whole time... "Don't you have no television in your house" Oh brother give me a break

We have yellow noodled back preachers now who want to tell everybody to "get ready" "somethings coming your way" "God is getting ready to increase you" ":You're gonna be highly favored" YEAH RIGHT with 3 living wives... No sir, your in Adultery,, REPENT and make it right!

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

I think it's about time preachers and church members quit worrying about how many marriages and divorces people have gone through, and who is the "guilty" party, and who is the "innocent" party, and whether a person was "in church" or "out of church" when they went through their latest marriage/divorce or not.

God's "Plan A" was one man and one woman till death.
When that didn't work, He provided "Plan B" which allowed for divorce.
Jesus reiterated that Plan A was God's original plan but He is very forgiving when it comes to sin (and that would include marriage/divorce).

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

OK, so a couple repents. Does that mean they have to leave one another, dissolve the current marriage, look up the former husband or wife and remarry them, etec. or can they stay married?

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

If they are already married, you cannot unscramble eggs.. chances are the other spouse is married and reconciliation causes more confusion now than anything... thats why I believe is a man puts his wife away... they should both remain unmarried.. therefore if one does give their life to God and God changes them,, reconciliation of the family is possible.. .this is why I believe God does not allow for remarriage until DEATH because until someone is DEAD they can be changed

So to that couple I would simply tell them these words.... because you have two wives you cannot preach.... However, you can repent of this sin of remarriage.... ask Gods forgiveness.. RECOGNIZE IT AS SIN..... then plead Gods Mercy.... and NEVER ever commit this same sin again!

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

a former pastor used to ask (he's been dead for about 20 years now) couples who came to him to be married if they were willing to live single the rest of their lives if the marriage did not work out. That is how he understood the situation in Matthew 19 applied. A person who was divorced for any other reason than unfaithfulness of the spouse could never be married again as long as that ex spouse was alive. He taught that a person like that became a eunuch for the kingdom's sake i.e. remained single as an act of obedience and devotion to the Lord.

To tell a person that he/she cannot preach because he/she has two wives seems pretty harsh. For one thing, in Deut 24:1-4 a divorced person is spoken of as a "former husband" not as "another husband." Also, Jesus told the woman at the well in John 4, "You have had (not you currently have) five husbands." Also, if a church member can divorce and remarry, why can't a minister?

I'm not trying to be argumentative here. I don't know what we can do about the plethora of divorces and remarriages. Folks in church have about the same rate of divorces and remarriages as folks outside the church from what I understand. Also, there is no standard way of dealing with the problem. The rules vary from church to church, section to section, organization to organization. A couple can just move to another assembly if they are not accepted in their current assembly. Also, district officials let some preachers get by with stuff that the won't let other preachers get by with. And pastors enforce the remarriage thing selectively also.

That's why I said earlier, I think the whole thing has just gone too far to correct. I think all we can do is accept whoever is "legally" married as far as the civil government is concerned and not try to have our own "church rules."

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

Bro. Sam surely you don't mean that? Forget Gods law... let it go and give in? Not in this lifetime

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

no, not forget it,
but,
we are not the enforcers of God's laws.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

actually we are defenders of the Faith.. absolutely...... we are called of God to bring a sword of seperation among the people

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

I'm thankful to say My Pastor preaches it from his pulpit and he and his wife of 47 years are a Godly example to us. What he preaches, he is willing to do himself.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

Thank God for men like him! You have a treasure,, thank God

Bye the way,, I know right where Hot Coffee is... I have family in MS

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

Honestly, I do agree with you overall, except I have seen far more meddling AFTER the wedding than before. Granted, some of it may have taken place before in the form of pre-marital counciling classes where I shudder to think what was taught.

While the decision to marry is a serious one I do not believe that the couples need a wagging finger of warning in their face telling them again and again how series things are (which they ARE) and how they "better not divorce". It would seem that that would do nothing but jinx the marriage from the start.

I also don't believe that ADULTS getting married need anyone's permission but their own. It is strongly advisable to have the parents onboard the idea for obvious reasons, as well as the pastor, but neither is required and certainly you don't need to ask the latter -where as you may want to ask the former since it still is a relatively traditional thing to do.

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Their is safety in the multitude of counsel... I believe thats in the book

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I do NOT believe in divorce and remarriage IN the Church period.

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I think the point trying to be made is preventing it in the first place rather then what to do when confronted with it. Letting couples know how serious marriage is before the wedding, which I agree 100% with. I just think it needs to be done in a way as to not scare the new couple to death and make them think they are entering a new hell on earth.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

Its awesome to hear it Elder...... I'm glad we can stand on that issue in Unity.. you know I even disagree with Bro. Branham on divorce and remarriage.. he allowed for it if the man married an unmarried woman....

But I am glad to know you stand for truth in Divorce & Remarriage

It pains me Bro. Eply because you know my grandmothers situation.. but her remarriage has brought untold amounts of pain to the families involved... and she would have been much more effective as a single lady,, travelling and singing and loving her family.....

I use to feel bad at Elder Boyd for his stand against her marriage.. after they were so close.. but now I understand he was simply standing for scripture...

Blessings

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

Convictions are not convenient.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

DV My wife and I are personal friends to the Boyds we have stayed at each other's homes, rode hundreds of miles together going to meetings and have been in untold church services together and talk with each other weekly on the phone and I have NEVER heard either say the first negative word about your grandmother in private or public.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

The only repercussions I forsee are those that would arise from calling a room full of young adults "Children..."

And I disagree about your conclusion - and I emphasize that I sadly disagree. People already know of this view that you express and telling them again probably won't change many attitudes or actions.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

That makes me sooo happy to hear that... I know my grandmother was very fond of the Boyds,, they were very supportive of her ministry.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

They highly are respectful toward your grandmother and her influence in their lives. When folks disagree it does not mean they throw away all the good people do for you.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

Tremendous words Elder..... I hope to meet you someday

I have a lady in my church who sat under your Father in Laws ministry for many years.. not sure if you would know her


Sis. Carla West....

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

Yes I remember Carla.

Re: Honest question to Preachers
 

We had lunch with her a few days ago... sharing war stories......