Polygamy in the Bible
 

So how do you oppose the idea of modern polygamy when polygamy is obvious "ok" in the Old Testament. How do you argue that it is wrong to have multiply wives in modern society?

From my perspective polygamy puts women in a vulnerable position and is likely to result in abuse for the wife and for the children. Must create such confusion for the children. And there is always the issue of the husband preferring one wife over the other.

Just some rambling thoughts...feel free to contribute your views on the subject.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Can you imagine several jealous women in one household? The New Testament limits men, especially in leadership, from having more than one wife...there is good reason for that!:tease

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

The New Testament doesn't ban it either. It only is a disqualifier in the case of a pastor/bishop in the church due to the potential for family strife.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

ditto!:friend

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Polygamy is not condoned in the Bible. The hermeneutic law of ‘First Mention’ establishes one man (Adam) being married to one woman (Eve). That first couple is a type of the one bride (the Church) being married to one husband (One God). Genesis 2:24 has “a man” leaving his father and mother so as to become “one flesh” with “his wife.” Such wording indicates a monogamous relationship rather than polygamous. In the past God did ignore certain things due to men’s ignorance, but because of the New Covenant, He now calls all men to repentance (See Acts 14:16, Acts 17:30; Mark 10:5). To help make this marital issue clearer, you might want to look at these: Mat. 19:5, 29; Eph. 5:31, 33; 1Tim. 3:2, 12; Tit. 1:6.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Our stance on polygamy is really only based on 3 things

1. its illegal and we follow the laws of the land
2. the backlash society would have in its current setting if the church allowed it after fighting it so long, we would have egg on our face big time
3. many of our preacher/teachers grew up thinking its wrong because they were taught it was wrong.. and i think this forum knows how hard it is to break tradition.

but technically.. if you go only by the Word and do Sola Scriptura... no we don't have a word to say about polygamy being not ethical, scriptural, or really anything if it is ever legalized here in America. Controversial.. yes... biblical... yes.

Theres a match on the gas.. have fun with that one :)

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Are you reading the same bible with the same OT laws of marriage that I do? It must be because I am using the NIV, NLT, AMP, and ESV. Im sure it reads different in your version.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Exodus 21:10 10 If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights. (NIV)

Duet 21:15-17
15 If a man has two wives, and he loves one but not the other, and both bear him sons but the firstborn is the son of the wife he does not love, 16 when he wills his property to his sons, he must not give the rights of the firstborn to the son of the wife he loves in preference to his actual firstborn, the son of the wife he does not love. 17 He must acknowledge the son of his unloved wife as the firstborn by giving him a double share of all he has. That son is the first sign of his father's strength. The right of the firstborn belongs to him.


I missed the words "Ban" "forbid" "Abomination" "evil" "sin" "tresspass" or any simiar words in these passages in context to a man in his relationship to God. Just food for thought if you are sticking strictly to scriptures and where it discusses the rules of marriage.

One man one wife is the ideal... but theres no ban on it.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

I'm not in "leadership" :dance

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Wow! So it is a difficult stance to have if the Bible does not outright blast the idea as being an abomination.

What about people who are in some kind of wierd situation like polyamory. Living as if they are all married, but hiding it from society because of the stigma....Sort of makes me feel sick...

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Dora, if I did not know better I would think you are asking about your own "situation"! :ursofunny


I do know our missionaries wrestle with this question on foreign soil.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

WHAT???? Gross!!!

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If there hasn't already, there's going to come a point when people on US soil need to address this. While still considered out there even by the alternative crowd, it's gaining popularity.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Why is it gaining in popularity???

Polygamy today
 

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Because it is in certain circles.

Why, would require a philosophy degree to get into. lol

It's seriously not as uncommon as y'all might think.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

The redefinition of "marriage" to includes same sex, groups of people and even animals.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Now, animals are still *way* out there..... I won't say it doesn't happen, or won't someday gain popularity, but that one's not considered kosher even in the most alternative of circles.

The rest, same sex and groups though, yes...

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

I agree but I did read that somewhere... also, very young children.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

When I saw all the stuff going on with the Mormon polygamists, I googled information about the effects of polygamy on women and children to see whether or not it was detrimental emotionally, mentally, physically due to abuse, etc.

Couldn't find much about the negative effects.

Found lots of Pro-polygamy stuff.

There is a book written by a woman who escaped from an abusive polygamist sect where the prophet set his eyes on her and made her leave her husband in order to marry him. I'll look it up again. Sad situation.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

The religious polygamy is a completely separate issue from the alternative lifestyle polygamy.

The abuse that goes on in the name of religion can be pretty astounding. Of course, abuse occurs in other situations too. I just know the people I knew who practiced this would shake their heads at the religious polygamy. It's different when it's consenting adults vs 14, 15, 18 year old girls who don't realize there is a choice to be made...that's just how it is.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

In this country alone we have 8.5 million more women than we do men.... Polygamy would allow for those women to be taken care of by a husband.... and it works for some people and it is never forbidden in the scriptures... we have many Christian men in other countries with plural wives

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

I couldn't deal with the multiple Macy's cards

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

One. The bolded part might cause you some trouble. lol

Two. This culture and society is not in any way supportive towards polygamy. I don't think it's a good idea to step so far outside the realm of society. Support, friendships, assistance, help, understanding do not exist when you live outside the realm of the accepted.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

A friend of mine refers to the scripture that talks about in the last days it would be 7 women to one man.

My Mom always says "There is no Teepee large enough for more than one woman". :)

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

I'm frankly surprised at the apparent acceptance of this lifestyle by so many mainstrean Christian men.

Also, surprised that women would go for it. I guess having the actual position of "wife" would be more beneficial than just being a mistress...???

This subject blows my mind.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

It has existed for centuries and works well for many people who love large families

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

You have to realize that polyamory encompasses more than 1 man, several women. A woman who is attracted to other women would certainly go for it, a man attracted to other men would be all right with the idea too. Not all situations include homosexuality, but quite a lot do.

And not all polyamorous groups live under one roof.

It's kind of a mind blowing subject...really. Even having been exposed to this on the level I have been, it's hard to fully wrap my brain around.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Its been a normal part of human history longer than its been abnormal. The scriptures don't prohibit it. I would only want one wife myself, but as a minister I really don't have the ability to speak where the bible is silent or even accepting of something.

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I just don't think I could go for that!

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Doesn't it create serious problems for the children? Seems that it would be confusing for them.

the polyamory thing seems just out of the realm of comprehension for my small mind.

Anything that could have a detrimental effect on children - seems that this kind of behavior is just beyond anything society could ever accept as a healthy "family" situation.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

I think polygamy in ancient times has to be viewed in light of culture. Women were property to be stolen in war, traded, and even given as part of treaties between nations to link royal families. So it became a status symbol to have more than one wife...it expressed wealth and power. It also multiplied the number of children a man could have which was highly valued in ancient Bible culture. Marriage was primarily a contract between the man and the bride's family and not strictly between the bride and the husband. So all that a wife owned was also the husband's property...even her servants. Women had little say in how many wives a man could have...though they readily voiced their displeasure when jealous. None of this was specifically condemned by God on moral grounds...the primary concern in the Law was with kings multiplying wives with foreign women (essentially establishing too many foreign treaties) because they could turn his heart toward the gods of their native land. The Law of God required polygamy at times. For example if a man's brother were to die without having children, he was commanded to also marry his brother's widow to raise up children in his brother's name. This was a form of a social safety net because it protected the widow from exploitation, provided for her immediate needs, and insured her care in the future as her children were required to care for her into old age.

Adultery wasn't viewed so much as a moral issue as a "property" issue. If a woman were to have relations with another man, she and the man involved were stealing the conjugal rights belonging only to her husband. For example, David had more than one wife and wasn't considered an adulterer...however, when he secretly took Uriah's wife he stole from Uriah what he had no right to...and David was then an adulterer. Adultery is essentially connected to taking a woman that belongs to another man. Jesus expanded this concept by illustrating that the mere thought of taking what belongs to another man is adultery. I'd like to emphasize that Jesus isn't talking about beholding a woman's beauty....he's addressing "lust" in the context of adultery, the actual desire to peruse and take a woman that isn't one's own. Jesus isn't condemning normal attraction or interest.

Forms of marriage described in the Old Testament:

The standard nuclear family: Genesis 2:24 describes how a man leaves his family of origin, joins with a woman, consummates the marriage and lives as a couple. There were quite a few differences between the customs and laws of contemporary North Americans and of ancient Israelites.

Polygynous marriage: A man would leave his family of origin and join with his first wife. Then, as finances allowed, he would marry as many additional women as he desired. The new wives would join the man and his other wives in an already established household.

Levirate Marriage: The name of this type of marriage is derived from the Latin word "levir," which means "brother-in-law." This involved a woman who was widowed without having borne a son. She would be required to leave her home, marry her brother-in-law, live with him, and engage in sexual relations. Ruth 4 reveals that a man would be required to enter into a levirate marriage not only with his late brother's widow, but with a widow to whom he was the closest living relative.

A man, a woman and her property -- a female slave: As described in Genesis 16, Sarah and Abram were infertile. Sarah owned Hagar, a female slave who apparently had been purchased earlier in Egypt. Because Hagar was Sarah's property, she could dispose of her as she wished. Sarah gave Hagar to Abram as a type of wife, so that Abram would have an heir.

A man, one or more wives, and some concubines: A man could keep numerous concubines, in addition to one or more wives. These women held an even lower status than a wife. As implied in Genesis 21:10, a concubine could be dismissed when no longer wanted. According to Smith's Bible Dictionary, "A concubine would generally be either (1) a Hebrew girl bought...[from] her father; (2) a Gentile captive taken in war; (3) a foreign slave bought; or (4) a Canaanitish woman, bond or free." 1 They would probably be brought into an already-established household. Abraham had two concubines; Gideon: at least 1; Nahor: 1; Jacob: 1; Eliphaz: 1; Gideon: 1; Caleb: 2; Manassah: 1; Saul: 1; David: at least 10; Rehoboam: 60; Solomon: 300!; an unidentified Levite: 1; Belshazzar: more than 1.

A male soldier and a female prisoner of war: Numbers 31:1-18 describes how the army of the ancient Israelites killed every adult Midianite male in battle. Moses then ordered the slaughter of most of the captives, including all of the male children who numbered about 32,000. Only the lives of 32,000 women - all virgins -- were spared. Some of the latter were given to the priests as slaves. Most were taken by the Israeli soldiers as captives of war. Deuteronomy 21:11-14 describes how each captive woman would shave her head, pare her nails, be left alone to mourn the loss of her families, friends, and freedom. After a full month had passed, they would be required to submit to their owners sexually, as a wife.

A male rapist and his victim: Deuteronomy 22:28-29 requires that a female virgin who is not engaged to be married and who has been raped must marry her attacker. A man could become married by simply taking a woman that appealed to him, and paying his father-in-law 50 shekels of silver. There is one disadvantage of this approach: he was not allowed to subsequently divorce her.

A male and female slave: Exodus 21:4 indicates that a slave owner could assign one of his female slaves to one of his male slaves as a wife. In the times of the Hebrew Scriptures, Israelite women who were sold into slavery by their fathers were slaves forever. Men, and women who became slaves by another route, were limited to serving as slaves for seven years. When a male slave left his owner, the marriage would normally be terminated; his wife would stay behind, with any children that she had. He could elect to stay a slave if he wished.

And those are the most common forms of "marriage" in the Old Testament.

The New Testament's prohibition of polygamy among church elders is radical compared to the position of the Old Testament. By mandating that elders have one wife....Paul elevates a woman to being more than just property and essentially makes her equal to her husband in regards to conjugal entitlement. Paul's admonishion for every elder to have his own wife was to help in preventing sexual immorality which was very prevalent in ancient times, especially among pagan peoples. Interestingly, Paul's admonishion that a bishop be the husband of only one wife also precludes concubinage (which was also common and allowed...consider it a legal mistress) because the Greek more literally reads "man of one woman".

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Compared to what? Our modern day mixed families where we try to integrate the product of one or two divorces together with a web of ex-spouses and step fathers and mothers?

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

In a situation that's being handled by mature responsible adults..children are left to be children and aren't so much aware of the dynamic. To have several adults acting in parental roles is the norm through history.

But, since one can never know the long term implications, I seriously can't support this sort of thing when young children are involved. It makes me cringe. Divorce or dissolution of a relationship is horrible any time children are involved. I can't imagine having more than 2 adults in the dynamic would make that any easier.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

I disagree. God had more in mind than accommodating man's ignorance. In fact...I'd argue that man wouldn't have been "ignorant" if God would have set rock solid standards of marriage. Instead, we see various forms of marriage not only allowed, but given circumstances, commanded in God's Law.

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

Well Dora...some things are strictly between a husband and wife... and maybe we should keep it that way. lol

Here's something that my wife and I have wondered about...Sarah virtually gave Abraham another woman and God doesn't condemn Abraham for adultery. It would seem that this wasn't considered immoral or adultery because the wife knew about it (primarily her idea) and Hagar didn't belong to another man. Again it boils down to women being regarded more like property.

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People have practiced open marriage in one fashion or another, discretely, since our nation began. I think it's just becoming more obvious and popular in our society.

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For some reason I picture a man with an engagement ring in one hand and a dog biscuit in another. LOL

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Polygamy wouldn't work today because of one word....women. lol

Re: Polygamy in the Bible
 

ROFL :ursofunny