Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

(Note from Renda - these nuggets were posted in the other thread and I realize many aren't interested in reading that thread, however, these posts are too good to be missed.)



The conversation being discussed on this thread.

Is one of or if not the most personal and defining intimate conversation between husband and wife or wife and husband.

While working in sales over the years, I have heard it all.

Men bragging and just talking about all sorts of adventures with their wives, girlfriends and extra marriage experiences.

In all of those years, I have wondered why these men talk so freely about these things?

Are they bragging? Are they missing the boat? Are they wanting to justify themselves?

To me it is a form of intimacy cheating on their spouse.

Relations with a spouse are personal, honest, pure, loving, mutual, caring, respectful, spiritual (in a non salvational sense), memorable and the last mile of intimacy.

Way to many people invite their extended family, friends and others into this intimacy.

This place of intimacy is one that no other individual should ever have an open door.

Long before 2 people cheat in the act.

They cheat in the doorway of adultery.

These men and woman share these intimate thouughts, desires etc.

With others because they do not have a pure intimacy with their spouse.

I would not share with anyone on this forum what I am against or for in my marriage.

What I do know is an abomination in the eyes of God in my marriage.

Is acting outside my marriage and intimacy bond.

My wife has also heard it all from her friends over the years.

This bond needs to built on the trust of ultimate intimacy....

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

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I agree.

If I were to counsel couples before they were to marry.

I would ask them to talk intimately about.

More than..... at what table each friend and family member would sit at.

I would share that they need to talk about money, workload and intimate relations.

I do not know about anyone else on this thread.

I am 44 and have been married in Dec 22 years.

So this coming March marks me being married half of my still young life.

I remember sitting and talking with my girlfriend and asking many things about her dreams and hopes.

I also asked her for the OK to talk about intimate things.

We went into engagement and marriage with intimate understandings.

These understandings were not contractual or devisive.

They were understandings of protection and behavior to have us bond together in both spirit and body.

So there were no hidden agenda's or hidden fetish.

If we were going to change as many ended marriages end because someone has changed.

We were going to change with each other.

While growing up in the church atmosphere that I did as a child.

I saw many a men teating their closest human contact in their adult life as if they were a machine and not a mutual intimate bond.

What I see as confusion in many marriages and intimacy even in the church today.

Is summed up in selfishness, control, fear, stress, and anxiety.

This leads to stress in a relationship.

How many ladies on this thread.

Start to feel stress as the days of the week start to tick towards Saturday morning.

When a relationship is pure and intimacy is true.

These moments are not dreaded or avoided.

They are shared, intimate and loving.

I did not need to read any self help books to understand intimacy.

I started out with a conversation with my girlfriend.

From there we made our mistakes in life and we made them together.

In the past 22 years we have laughed, cried, worried, prayed, loved and (wow) stayed together.

What I see today in society are acts being acted out.

Without the bonds of love and intimacy.

Anyone want to better thier intimate life start with a conversation.

Use that same example into your relationship with Chrsit and have more conversations with him.

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

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The addictive behavior is a quest for true intimacy.

Intimacy will not be found ever solely in an act.

Intimacy is pure, honest, loving and without selfish motives.

Fullfilment comes in a union of peace, love and unity.

Many pursue the next act to try and restore intimacy and unity.

Intimacy is found in a full relationship before the act, during the act and after the act.

All the talk on this thread about this act, that act, these facts, those facts only avoid the relationship that should exist outside the act.

Move away from the act and look at the motive.

If there is true beauty or poetry in tendor intimacy.

It will not intimidate, frustrate, or denigrate it will illuminate and elevate.

She is not an object to be pandered at my will.

She is the desire of heart, before she is the desire of my desires.

We all have a love story, many have just forgotten that their are 2 characters in the story.

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

MissBrattified...

Thanks.

If I could have 5 minutes to review a person's credit report.

Or sit in the back seat of a couples car.

I could conclude their relationship with Christ.

How one spends their money or treats the private time with their spouse.

Is the measure of their spiritual realtionshiop with Christ.

I watch some of my friends and how they tear each other apart.

They constantly battle for position.

I was reminded of power, watching George W Bush and Barak Obama walking the outside walkway at the White house the other day.

I played it in slow motion.

At each turn in the walk, Bush moved out in front, then at the next turn Obama moved out in front.

Each step was a step for power.

Just like the little second graders who try and make the door of the bus first.

Then they both try and force their way into the last seat on the bus.

What they don't realize is that the rest of their lives they will look for the parking spot at the front of the line at the mall.

Perspective changes but the pursuit always lingers.

Loving someone and caring about someone is not surrendering.

It is about being at the top of the hill or in the valley together...

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

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The interesting thing about my thoughts.

They were not read in Men are from Mars, Woman are from venus.

They have been lived and cherished in my personal relationship with my wife and mother of my children..

I do not define my relationship with my wife or my wife as a battlefield that is summed up by conquest.

It is defined by mutual respect, understanding, forgiveness, and trust.

I remember asking my girlfriend a question.

A question that was asked even before... will you marry me?

I simply asked her... Will you be the mother of my Children?

It was not about marriage where so many view marriage as a contract.

It was asking for a bond that would bring us together for the rest of our lives.

With that as a starting point and not just birthdates in time.

We often find ourselves remembering together that conversation.

I have always taken my wife back to these private and intimate moments.

They put a pure perspective on our busy lives.

We made a committment to each other.

The problem with so many couples they make a committment without building the relationship or safe guards to protect the relationship.

Why do so many people call sex making Love.

Sex does not make love, It expresses Love!

When expressing Love you do not act Love.

Here is a poem that I wrote in 2003.

It has been published....

Scent of Love


There is beauty in the forest;
When the tree's are grown and fare.
There is beauty in the meadows;
When wild flowers scent the air.
There is beauty in the sun-light.
Those Soft blue beams above;
Oh! The world is full of beauty;
When for you my heart is full of Love!


Copyright ©2003 Nathan Alan Eckstadt

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

The problem with Christian parents. They find it odd talking about sex.

I did not talk to either of my sons just about sex.

I talked to them about intimacy in relationships.

I shared with them as part of the intimacy a man and a woman will come together.

In this union and experience comes great responsibility.

The need to protect the heart, emotions and the future of the person you are with and yourself.

I shared with them sex is not just an act it is the ultimate expression of love.

Many feelings are part of love.

Desire, chemistry, emotion and intimacy.

We all felt many of these expressions at a very young age.

To many people "Love" the act and not the person they are with.....

As for me I chose to love the person.....

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

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I agree it is about agreement.

A couples bed is only undefiled if their relationship is undefiled.

You can't be at odds in every other area of your life and expect your partner to then submit to grandeur.

You first have to be a union in relationship before you can share perfect peace in intimate union.

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

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Most of the married men who are addicted to sexual content of anykind.

Fall prey to these lust because they have not built a relationship of love and intimacy with any of their past partners.

I have a greater desire to take my personal intimacy with my wife to a higher level.

That is what seperates me from those who have sex with an "IP" address.

I do not need scriptures, laws, prenup agreements to keep me from pursuing other desires.

I spend my time pursing the intimacy and fullfilment that comes only with honest and pure intimacy with my wife.

Without this intimacy, so many ladies resent their husbands.

So many men resent their wives.

It is why sex to them will never reach to fullfillment in their lives.

They are on the wrong road of pursuit.

We are not to pursue sex but to pursue love......

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

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Thanks Rhoni, I have a mutual admiration for her as well.

It transends accomplishments, money, or status.

Most men have it wrong.

They want to earn respect by earning money.

They want to gain respect by authority.

You do not earn respect by actions of responsibility.

You do not gain respect by dominance.

In the christian experience today that is how church authority is often executed.

A man will gain all he needs by love, listhening, caring, showing respect.

The true measue of a leader is to measure up first....

I do not have a daughter.

But what I can tell you for the most part.

Most men would not welcome a man that would treat their daughter the way they treat their daughters mother.

I had a man tell me as a joke once.

"I like my wife chained to the headboard, with just enough slack to make it to the kitchen".

The thing that made me laugh at his joke.

That is exactly how he treated his wife....

Expressing love to your wife does not start in the bedroom.

It is expressed in everthing you do.....

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

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If you are dominating your spouse for self gratification that is defiling your spouse.

If you engage in mutual expression and invested the time and sensitivity of intimacy.

You will find the top of the hill.

If you walk away and feel empty or you feel anxiety.

Then you know you have not gained the freedom of expression with your spouse.

Because you have not expressed deep love before engaging in physical expression.

Physical expression to me has always had boundries because of the lack of intimate expression and spiritual expression.

The ultimate expression in our body, soul and spirit as designed by our maker.

The physical expression with our spouse should capture the expression of our soul, spirit and body.

In the sex charged world we live in today.

Expression starts with physical.

Many of these physical expression's never reach soul and spirit.

When a man and woman join together in a union of marriage.

They should begin to join each other in this order.... Soul, Spirit and then body.

To many young couples don't make it past the first night.

Because the man wants to start with body.

The woman is dazed by the day and is looking to connect in sould and spirit.

I iwill share one thing that I made very clear to my wife on our wedding day.

Our wedding day is going to be filled with the memories of our coming together.

It will be remembered for the laughs and great times with our friends and family.

We agreed that the "big" night most couples feel pure pressure to complete.

Was appointed for another day.

After we had reflection and plenty of good old fashion rest.....

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

Brilliance to me is the light of understanding.

Faith comes by hearing.

Understanding comes by the practice of actions.

understanding is faith in action.

Faith in action bring results.

Then these are the results....

Actions without selfish motives will built love, life and relationships.

God Bless...

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

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Is an act between a husband and wife wrong?

If the motive is wrong the act is wrong.

regardless of the act.

Sexual expression is an outward expression of the respect and desire you have for your spouse.

A spouse really knows what is acceptable to their partner.

Regardless of the spoken acceptance of an act.

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Don't miss these posts!

Re: Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)
 

Very good post Bro, very good!:thumbsup

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Amen Renda!

I just read through these posts & they are good!:thumbsup

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

They are Super-De-Duper. :)

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

I'm so glad you reposted these. Everyone could benefit from reading them, whether married or single!

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Very, very good!

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Great words, Neck! :thumbsup

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Neck be sure to add your lastest about the seafood. It was an excellent post as well.:friend

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

.

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

You are trying to define expression between a husband and wife as a wrong expression between every husband and wife.

Every relationship has it's intimate boundries.

I am not just an intelligent person, I care deeply about the heart, soul, mind and body of my lovely wife...

When two people care this deeply about each other.

Thier physical appearance and countenance will reflect it.

So many people in our circle and outside our circle do not believe that I am 44and my wife is 43.

If you were bold...... you should be asking how many on this forum understand that their spouse does not enjoy these acts?

Or does enjoy these acts?

Many things in a person's life.... does not have to be listed on some sin list not to enjoy them.

My wife gets sick when she eats seafood.

In our relationship of intimacy, would I ever take her to a joint that only serves seafood?

Would I ever force her to eat seafood?

Just because I enjoy it?

Would that somehow express or convey to me that she loves me more because she ate something that makes her sick?

In many ways you can sum the intimate relations between husband and wife with this real scripture.

To him that knoweth to good and doeth it not...To him it is sin!!!

In intimacy your spouse will share with you the boundries of good.

Then when good is good it is really good...

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

We have the right to the pursuit of happiness.

Many never hold on to it.

Because once they find it.

They stop pursuing happiness with their spouse.

It is the adventure of pursuit that many find attractive.

Then they fall when the pursuit is less about them and more about the person they have found.

To him that findeth a wife findeth a good thing...

Then to him that keepeth this good lady happy, to him will behold happiness.

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Ok when does the book come out ?

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

I would buy it!

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Me too,Neck ought to write one.

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

While she doesn't exactly get sick when she eats seafood, my wife doesn't care for it much. Yet, she knows how much I like it and will often suggest we go somewhere that serves it because she knows how much I appreciate it. (Usually reserved for birthdays and such....)

This can also be carried over to many different aspects of the relationship........

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

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"I" might appreciate my wife wanting to make me happy.

What really makes "me" happy is knowing she is enjoying it too.

If we ever go out for that special time for me to enjoy seafood.

We spend the extra time to find a place where both of us can enjoy the food.

I enjoy going to Milw Brewers baseball games.

I go often with a good friend of mine.

But there are times she just wants to come and enjoy the game with me.

I make sure that I walk as far as it takes to get her favorite Ice Cream!

I "never" leave her out of the moment.....

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

I am thinking about it......

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

I'm feeling a bit like Dr. House right now with all the "sap" being spewed. :)

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

You can call it "Sap".

I'll take it over the "junk" that most men put their wives through.

You will not find a man who is any more of a man than I am....

It is not manhood that I yield, but my wifes hand that I take in harmony.

Let those who want to remain frustrated remain frustrated.

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Here is some 'sap' for you.

A man engages in romance with the hope of making Love.

A woman desires romance to know that she is already being loved.

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

I think someone found a lost script from the original draft of "The Wedding Crashers". Sounds a like lot the stuff Owen Wilsons character was saying through the whole thing.

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Neck - I sent you a PM about writing a book and I hadn't even read the comments here expressing the same. Go for it! You're young and have a lot to offer.

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Not sure of anyone else.

I have never read a book on marriage, or relationships.

I am 44 and will soon be married 22 years.

My wife and I have been magnets for friends and folks to ask us about our relationship.

My wife is the best..

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

I would love to see and hear your wifes point of view unfiltered...

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

ROFL!!!!!

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

None of us women would call that "sap"!!

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

The women would call it the key to an AWESOME relationship!

Take notes guys!

Re: Nuggets from Neck on The Marriage Relationship
 

Problem is, if Neck wrote a book it would be read mostly by women!