Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I have a freind that told me, His kids live at home still, but do not go to church or live for God. He says, i rather have them drink at home, than some where else.

My responce was , the prodigal son, had to leave his father to live in the world of sin, when he came to himself, he returned to a Godly home, in order.


As dr. James dobson says, its hard to let go, some parents are held hostage in there own home. Does anyone else have any in put on this, so i may share with them later..

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Yes but I won't state them!!:foottap

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

How old are these kids?
Are these kids grown, or minors?

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Carefully I state ('cuz I'm not a parent or even married yet) that if these were my adult-aged "kids", they could not live with me in open rebellion of how I raised them unless I was living in open rebellion of how I raised them.


I'd have to let them go and let life take its course, while keeping them in prayer.


If they were minors, this simply would not happen.

My Dad threw one of my brothers down the steps of our home when we were teenagers.

My Mom literally threw a skillet at one of my brothers, again as teenagers.


But we ALL got the message as to what was and was not ACCEPTABLE in our parents' home, eventually. :)

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Personally, I do not agree with your friend. However, he is paying for his home…so it is his decision to make.

However, in my opinion, condoning things like drinking or drugs in the home or while a child is in the home is saying it is ok… it isn’t sin, maybe something he wouldn’t do…but condoning things like this speaks volumes. (for the record, I don’t believe drinking is a sin…but believe is isn’t the most expedient for a Christian today)

I have a 19 year old working teenager. She moved out for a short time, but managed to come under authority and moved back home. She lives under some rules.. but it is my home. She now seems to understand that it takes a lot to live on your own today.

#1 rule of my house is…. you live under my roof, you will attend Wed and Sun services and also do your best to attend and be apart of the small group study that I have in my home each week. I don’t care if they are serving God or not.

I also have the understanding that if at any time they decide to live a lifestyle contrary to the moral lifestyle they’ve been raised and that I live, (as in drinking and such) It is time for them to move out and pay their own way. I cannot stop them from choosing a different lifestyle, but if they do, it will be on their own.

I feel that if I pay the mortgage and bills, it gives me the right to make the rules. At this time, my daughter might help with bills, keep her portion of the cell phone paid, pay her own ins and gas and even pay for her food when out….but I still pay the mortgage and majority of bills…that makes it my home and my decision to make.

It speaks loud and clear to all three of my teenagers… Mom believes in and honors God in her home and in her life… she believes you must be faithful in attendance to a church body and authority… she believes in living a clean and moral lifestyle… and she isn’t tolerant of anything less. Works for me, and I’m sticking to it.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I agree with FB on this one.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

We have house rules. Anyone who lives in our house will follow the rules. Don't like it, get your own house and make your own rules. ;)

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Maybe my Mom can loan your friend one of her cast iron skillets....

I'm just sayin'.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Cast Iron Skillets sounds like something great for making cornbread with.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

It's also great for cracking heads and crispy pancakes!

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I live at home, and live for GOD and go to church, but my parents don't live for GOD...

oh well, that's ok, [[[maniacal voice]]] when they're old and senile, I'll take them in to live with me, and then I'll MAKE them live for GOD!:evilglee

-Bro. Alex

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

No, you won't.That is impossible (free moral agency).

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

YOU never know until it happens...

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

It actually did happen to us. And we abided by what we said. Our house, our rules.

He moved out for a while, but then came back. To our house, our rules. :D

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I agree with you... it has happened to me too... I about lost it when my daughter moved out...she has done some things that really disapointed me... about nearly killed me in fact... but she is now back home... she even thought she might test me again... I just this past week had to clarify my rules for my house. We gotta saying around here... I don't care about the age... if you don't like the rules...hit the road Jack... and the last part is sung...and of course then my 17 year old named Jac says "puleezze stop"

i did have to stick to the "it is my house, my rules" even when my own family didn't stand beside me... I didn't back down. :foottap

My dad showed me the door at 19 years old, I was a 19 year old smart mouth that didn't want to respect my mother...and making me move was the best thing he ever did for me.... I was forced to grow up... I never moved back home either.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I would never want to have a child (?) living with me by child I mean 18 or older that did not live for God...I have never had the experience although many times growing up my children were not where they needed to be in the Lord...I found praying does much more than screaming...however I am not the screaming type...
Children need a good set of godly parents and even at that most like a peep or two in the world...

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I, personally, wouldn't make them go to church if they were adults, but I would expect them to follow my rules or leave.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I agree. Does it have to be said that "making" someone go to church does not mean you are making them "live for God"?

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I will say this. I have a 16 yr old that does go to church but she tests the boundaries every step of the way. She knows without a doubt - our house our rules.

I wish I had a dollar for everytime she told me she is moving out when she graduates!

I agree with this prinicipal 100%. If I pay the bills - you have a choice to abide by my rules - or get out and pay your own way! :foottap

I tend to be the softy in my house but fortunately my husband is tough as nails in this area! So I can lean on him! LOL

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Until what age do you let your children stay at home?

What about when they get married?

Can your son bring his wife to live with you until they get more financially stable?

What about your daughters husband?

Will they need to live for God?

Pastor DT Salaz

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

no, they can't be made to serve God... but they are most definitely kept in the presence of God on a regular basis...and I have watched his presence melt a very stubborn heart who thought she knew what she wanted.

I have more experience than just my oldest... at 16, my middle daughter thought she would test me... it was a serious matter... thankfully she was a minor and even the law stood behind me. The first 3 months or so was miserable... I had to stick to my word w/consistancy... She has made radical changes.. is currently living stronger for God than ever...last night told me how she was fasting partial foods and even other things between now and Easter... I am so thankful.

My girls hear a praying mother travailing for their souls every day.... I take the responsibility very seriously. They joke about me sometimes venturing into their rooms to lay hands on them while their still sleeping in the morning... they can't get away from it.

They are young, they will slip and fall... especially in the world we are living.. but they will never get away from the prayers of their mom and knowing what she believes is right.

I know I am doing right... because my parents had the same rules... never backed down and I am living for God today.... I couldn't get away from what they taught and hearing their prayers.... often interupting my sleep.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Our children can live here until they're married if they choose to, but after 18 they start paying rent.

They don't need to get married unless they can financially afford to support a wife. After marriage, if they lose their job or something like that, they could live with us until they got back on their feet, but it'd definitely be a temporary thing.

After our children turn 18, we personally would not make them attend church, just obey the house rules. Thankfully, we are blessed, and our children are all serving God now.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I think this is an independent situation that has to be decided child by child. For some I think FB is right, and before would have agreed 100% all should be that way.

But I have lived long enough now to know that that is not the best for each child. Sometimes it is best to keep them in your sight and let them hear you praying for them. That you love them unconditionally.

It takes prayer and God's divine direction to know how to handle each situation. JMO

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I'd be concerned about their upbring and education. Why does "Not going to church..." have to equate to "Drinking...?"

I suppose if the kids were 14 and 15 and had your car keys, then it's better for them to drink at home than on the road. But how did we get to this place?

I've seen some people whose ideas on parenting were to either be Nazis or Nihilists. What if both of those options were wrong? You're going to raise some jerks that are as confused as the parents if you don't hurry up and figure this one out.

Better not to have married your first cousin in the first place; but what's done is done. Now all you can do is mitigate the damage that's been done and get the kid's tubes tied.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

ROFL. Sorry, but ROFL. :ursofunny You are too much P.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

My kids were required to go to church with us while they lived at home. The only exception was if they had a job and they were required to work during church time.

My suggestion is to tighten the rules after they graduate so they will want to move out That's how eagles get their eaglets to leave the nest. Each day they take more of the comfortable parts out of the nest until there's nothing left but thorny twigs. The eaglets leave the nest when the nest becomes so uncomfortable that risking the fall from the jump is the only way to get relief! :)

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Funny

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

I know by experience that you need a tight hold on these children be cause I have a daughter who is a backslider and maried to a drug addict,alcoholic that does not work. Ive got two grandsons and another grandchild on the way who are not being raised in church.The dad of my grandsons has the 3 year old afraid of the holyghost telling him that its bad to have the holyghost and when I take him to church he screams and wants to go home and the son in law laughs about it. SO PLEASE PRAY!!!!

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Haven't walked that path yet. I have learned that it's a lot easier to find answers for others than for yourself. It's easy to know what to do when it is their kids.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

When your 18 yr. old drinks alcohol and smokes dope in your house.. and won't stop and is non repentent.. its time for him to find a different place to live. Especially when there are 4 other kids in the house.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Thats sad. We'll be praying. You may not see the results for awhile.. but your prayers will save your grand babies.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

My bible tells me to grid up your loins and be a man . Well sometimes this is rough when it is your child , no doubt about it . However I let my son know in no uncertain terms this is my house my way or the highway . Sadly he is currently in a backslidden state . Yet there has been peace in my home since he left . He has also been questioning things about our new church home (the other one left the truth) . So I firmly believe it is the only option a good parent has , is to put down the law then don't back down NO MATTER what . My son will come back I am already seeing this . Sometimes they just have to fall flat of their face before they learn this really isn't worth it and it was much better in my father's house . Now someone stated what if they child was married ? Guess what in my book I have rules they know(knew) them .Therefore nothing changes .:amen

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

Set the rules.
Love them unconditionally.
Enforce the rules.
Love them unconditionally.
Let God change you.
Love them unconditionally.
Never ever stop praying for them.
Love them unconditionally.
Believe and trust the Lord to open their eyes, don't let the enemy destroy you by destroying relationship with your children.
Did I say love them unconditionally.
Hold them accountable, don't be afraid to ask the difficult questions.
And love them unconditionally.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

and when all that don't work, you can always stone them.

It worked in the Old Testament.



I'm just sayin.... you know, sometimes....







frying pans, cast iron skillets, big rocks, whatever it takes! :)

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

OK, so what if your kid is paying rent?

I don't know of a whole lot of land lords who have a say on where (and how often) you are to go to church...........

Or have curfews............

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

There is no guarantee that it will work, but end result should not be hatred toward their parents and the Lord.

Having said that, I have four grown children and I believe it has worked.

Re: Kids who live at home but do not go to church
 

We have house rules, and they are not oppressive, but the objective is that they do not disturb the household, by coming and going at all hours. Since they are a part of the household, it was required that we let each other know if we would not be home, etc. They are responsible for doing laundry and kitchen duty once a week.

Of course there was also clear moral boundaries that were the values of the house, and nothing outside of those boundaries would be tolerated.

After they graduated from High School, they were welcome to live with us while they were going to college. We did not charge them room and board during the summer as long as they were full time students. They were responsible for their personal expenses, plus car, insurance and phone, we provided house and food.

After graduation from college they were to actively pursue employment, and after one summer they would then pay room and board.

One son was married by then and our daughter is getting married one year after finishing her nursing degree. My youngest son will graduate in December 2009, and he has meet a girl, so we shall see.