This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

I was just reading a blog of an ex-UPC pastor's wife this week - and don't even ask, because I won't tell who it is. They are pastoring a church somewhere in the U.S. In her blog, it had at least three curse words (and I'm not talking about the "iffy" words), and several references to drinking. It literally made me sick to my stomach!

If I were from the First Church of the Frigidare, I can't imagine wanting my pastor's wife to act/talk like this. Maybe I'm just out of touch, but I don't want to try to be so relevant and cool and I lose my mind.

Anyway, just ranting here, but.........this is why we get a bad reputation - because of people who have left UPC and just gotten ridiculous. God help me; I just want to be holy in His sight.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

Typical. Sad, but typical.

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Seriously? Do you think this is actually typical? It made me furious and sad at the same time.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

Not with all.

But, with many. And, you are exactly right - they are the ones that taint it for all.

Why would ANY minister's wife think it's cool to cuss especially in a blog?

It's the attitude of "in your face" that stinks.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

Well, at first I thought, "Does she not know that her church people can read this?????" and then I realized that she just wouldn't care.

And you are exactly right about the attitude!

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That is disheartening.
Very sad when they think that freedom means they can do anything. I always tell my kids that just because it is lawful does not mean it is good for you.

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Just my personal opinion, but it seems those that do that are the ones that come from the more conservative background. They weren't taught balance ever.

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You may be right. Although I was from a VERY ultra con background. I do feel blessed though to have found a place of balance in my life.

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What I don't understand is just because somebody leaves the UPCI or a org. like that why do they have to go kooky.I mean truthfully I don't agree with the orgs. on several things,but still don't throw the baby out with the bathwater if one leaves a org. they can still hold to sound biblical principles.
Being independent doesn't mean that one has to swing, so far to the left they resemble the looney bin.

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that must really be all our thoughts Scott. It does not make sense

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Let's face it,I believe in modesty even though to many I would be considered weak in standards,but I do have biblical principles where I draw the line, but I do believe God has boundary lines and we pay when we cross His lines.
I'm certainly not about to teach anything goes.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

I think that is called balance

=)

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What is in our hearts comes out of our mouths, or keyboard in this case. The enemy is well named a deceiver, deceiving hearts and minds that things like that are okay.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

Sometimes people from ultra-conservative backgrounds are just so glad to be free that they go a little crazy. They felt so restricted, that once they're 'free', they want NO restrictions.

I believe in balance. Placing no restrictions at all on ourselves is not good either.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

OK folks clue me in... Please link me to ANY minister's wife (or her hubby) that swears in a blog.

That does not sound in vogue for any church, unless we are talking about a weird, exceptionally flakey nutjob.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

I don't understand why ANY Christian feels the need to use that kind of language! It's not about being cool, it's about being a Christian. No wonder many folks are sick and tired of religion! I can't blame them. Sad! :D

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This is embarrassing for anyone of any religious leaning. It indicates low class and poor vocabulary at the very least.

But I agree with the ultra con background and lack of balance theory.

My observations are that it also exemplifies Jr High behavior. There are many stupid things people try and then reject but it is best done when you're 13!

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Ok, where's the link to that blog ?

If we can't read, why discuss it?

It's all hear say......or.....show us the link.

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I agree, This person probably held it all in and put on the pentecostal act until she left the organization and now she's working through those adoescent feelings that were lying dormant, give her a couple years and hopfully she will swing back to center to a better focused relationship with God. Dont cut her off or you become just like alot of ultra conservatives who do the same to us!

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

Sadly, it seems that some people become so cynical because of the hypocrisy and un-Biblical behavior of the "tough on standards" churches that a switch seems to get flipped when they leave and they freak out.

Is it because they never had a grounding in real godliness?

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It's true, sad as it is. And I guess the church is "flourishing". Sorry I don't feel comfortable giving any more details.

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Ok, you're a new person here. I've posted with alot of these people for 3 or 4 years. I think they know me well enough to know I don't post for the sake of sensationalism. Surely I've earned that much trust here. I cannot qualify this thread for personal reasons.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

Sherri,

This is sad. I know that many times when a person leaves UPCI and has never really struggeld with anything or been allowed to do anything they go so far to the other side and it takes a while to come back to moderate. This is in dress but character - using curse words is a different issue.

I do know that we used to hang around another pastor and his wife and they told off-colored jokes all the time which made me so uncomfortable. There are so many things I can't compromise on and this is one of those things.

Being 'separate' from the world is not about dress but about thoughts, words, and behaviors. I look around my office, not for dress issues but how one reacts and treats others when they are interacting and the words and expressions they use. This is how I identify Christians.

Blessings, Rhoni

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

No offense meant, without a source the thread is somewhat useless to everyone but the author. The author relieves frustration by posting something on a thread - in this case something that's bound to create a lot of curiosity - I guess it's therapy for the author, but for the viewer it's not much more than seeing a headline without being able to view the story or source.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

In some cases maybe, but we all know know Sherri and believe her.

So, discussing it is perfectly normal.

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It's not a question of believing what she says. I don't doubt the post, I'm just saying that, other than therapy and a kind of her getting this off her chest, there's really not much to discuss in a forum without a source or more story to it.

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Forums are for discussion :huh:huh:huh

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Sure there is - sounds like you just want to know who it is. What "more of the story" would you need?

Why can't we discuss why someone would do this? That's all Sherri is asking - why would a minister's wife feel the need to use cuss words in their blog.

If it was a Baptist's minister's wife and I would feel the same way.

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It looks like if you go "kooky" that you would naturally develop an aversion to holiness whether it was UPC or other. This case it just happened to be UPC.
The UPC was a coincidental location of losing control of the tongue. It waas not the cause.

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My point exactly ... but what's to discuss in a thread with no story or source?

I guess it's just me ... so continue on. :thumbsup

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It would seem to me if someone posted their thoughts in an open blog that it is fair game.

I will not presume to make a judgment on what I do not know firsthand. I was on the negotiations board at Regent and we had an assignment that involved abuse of a suspect by a police officer. By repeating the exact words of the officer, including racial slurs and cursing, in the negotiation the other side was made visibly uncomfortable thus affording us an advantage.

So somewhere in the archives, is a recording of me saying things I would not normally say. Context is everything.

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I think this is a symptom of a systemic problem and goes to the root of one of the real weaknesses in our organization-or set of beliefs- We teach dos and don'ts but do not teach people about being principled Christians. Because we do not develop character in our people or teach them to question and search out their walk with God- they do not have balance in their lives. Then they do not a have an internal moral compass to direct them. There are many things that are right about the UPC and I support it, but this is something that has bothered me for years. I have seen many people come to grief because of it.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

The post below better convey's my thoughts on the subject....

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You are right, and I also do not mean any offense, but I classify this as useless gossip.

It's absurd to accuse someone without coming out with proof.

This thread boils down to the tongue.
The Bible is very clear about these kind of issues.


Proverbs 25:23 and Romans 1:30 make mention of a backbiting tongue. A backbiter is someone who uses their tongue against you when you aren't present, yet they will not face you with their charges when you are present. This is a cowardly backbiter who would rather stir up problems than solve problems.

A backbiter would much rather talk ABOUT someone than talk TO the person. A backbiter would much rather talk ABOUT some weak Christian in the church than offer some words of encouragement TO them. A backbiter is of no use to anyone, and no one has ever been strengthened or edified through backbiting. Beware of the backbiters, especially the ones who sow discord among brethren (Pro. 6:19)!

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

Since Sherri didn't link to the blog, or actually name the author, she hasn't slandered anyone, despite requests from you and at least one other person for the details.

So which is it? Do you want her to actually gossip about someone and give you the personal details? Or do you want to discuss the topic generically, without names, numbers and addresses, so as to NOT gossip, slander or backbite about anyone in particular?

It is perfectly acceptable, for example, to start a thread about stealing. "I know a person who shoplifts, who claims to be a Christian. What do you think about that?" THAT is not gossiping about someone behind their back. Gossiping would be saying, "Sis. __________ shoplifts when she goes to Target every week, and I think we need to talk about that."

1. Trusted members of this forum who have posted for a long time, and have shown integrity have the privilege of being taken at "face value." :)

2. Your attempt to call Sherri a backbiter is just uncalled for.

Furthermore, when someone posts something publicly, for all the world to read, it isn't private. It's no different than taking out an ad in the newspaper, posting your opinions for all the world to see--and discuss. Is it backbiting to talk about an article in a newspaper, and what the author meant by it?

As for Christians who cuss--some of you must have your heads in the sand.

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Oh, I am sure some Christians cuss... I just wonder how many swear on their blogs...

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LOL!!! It is one thing to slip up when you smash your finger and an ulgy workd inadverdently comes out of your mouth.

It is entirely something else to purpopsefully blog curse words.

When I read Sherri's post at the beginning of this thread I almost choked on my beer and caused a cigarette burn in the carpet when I dropped my Marlboro!:gotcha

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

Why so defensive?

Something like this happened a few weeks back. The son of a very prominent minister had used curse words on his blog. It was discussed here and there was a link posted, however as admin we didn't allow the link.

It happens.

Sherri is not a backbiter and you are walking a thin line calling her something she MOST definitely is NOT. She's concerned that someone could do this and asking why would someone feel they had to use curse words.

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If she had named the person and the facts were true, she still has not slandered anyone. In fact she wrote it so slander is a legal impossibility.
If what she wrote was untrue and and we knew who it was she would be guilty of libel not slander.

Re: This Is Why We Get a Bad Rap!!
 

Thanks, Baron, but I wasn't intending to use legalese. :D

Obviously something can be legal, but still unchristian. ;) Backbiting is not a Christian thing to do, and I don't believe Sherri's thread qualifies for the label.