Learning to trust...
 

Sis. Rhoni reminded me a couple of weeks ago of something I had written and it's been on my mind ever since. I am posting it in part, with a few minor changes...literary license you know.:winkgrin

I pray someone is blessed by it...:tiphat


[I]Picture it…a pastor working in the churchyard, cutting the grass and pruning hedges.

Suddenly he sees a peculiar thing…a rabbit with what appears to be two antennas near the tail. Just as suddenly as the animal appears, he is gone.

A few minutes later the pastor’s teenage son runs from around the church, and asks, “Dad, did you see that rabbit with the blow darts stuck in it?” Not knowing where it went, they continue to work.

After a few minutes the rabbit runs past them again, and this time they try to catch it, hoping to free the distressed animal of the darts.

Unable in their efforts, they continue with the job at hand.

The next morning, as they are preparing for service, the teen asks his dad, “Do you know why we couldn’t help that rabbit, dad? Because he didn’t trust us!!”

When the pastor preached that morning, he related this incident and spoke to hurting people…those who don’t know how to receive help, and to a Church that needs to learn how to give it.

This story is true and the pastor is my brother.

When Jim related this story to me, he said that the animal had three options…learn to live with the pain, realize that through the process of time things work themselves out, or he could die.

For the individual with the pain, I am certain that they believe it is not as cut and dry as this sounds. For the hurting, there don’t seem to be easy solutions.

I I walked into you presence with a broken leg, you would immediately know what was wrong and make an attempt to see that I am comforted. A cast and crutches don’t leave you in suspense, wondering is something is wrong…you know by looking at me that there is a problem.

It is not that way on the inside…

We see folks service after service…week after week, but don’t realize what it may have taken for them to be there. We don’t see the days and weeks, and sometimes years of struggling with the pain.

Saved?! Oh yes, but hurting nonetheless.

When we speak of hurt, many immediately think that the hurt came from within the four walls of the Sanctuary, but many times this is not the case. People can be injured anywhere.

These folk are young and old…wealthy, middle class and poor…college grads and high school dropouts. They are from every ethnic and cultural background…from the preacher’s kid to the former street running heathen.

They are from broken homes. They may be single, happily married, unhappily married, or divorced. They are battered spouses or the batterer of a spouse. They may have been abused, or may be the abuser. They may have kids in trouble or financial woes. They could have been unjustly accused, or perhaps the unjust accuser. They may have suffered loss of a loved one. They may have a life threatening disease.

Perhaps they have never seen their hopes and dreams come to pass, watching while others have accomplished all they set out to do. Maybe they have been neglected and rejected, never receiving the recognition or appreciation they thought they deserved.

They are young and old…male and female, and they are IN the Church!!

What people fail to realize is that the healing they so desperately desire is right where they are sitting…IN the Church. But the Church is not just the building that houses our services…the Church is you…it’s me.

So, I am asking us tonight, what can we do for them?! Are we sensitive enough to lead them to the One who sees and knows all…the One with all the answers and all the right words...the One who can mend the broken heart and bring peace?!

If they turn to us for counsel, can they ever learn to trust us to love and not judge?! Can they learn to trust us to pray and not put their business on the street?! Do we love enough to extend and overextend for a brother or a sister in the Lord?!

Have we learned to trust?!

Very good post, and there is a lot of truth here.
Trust however is something that takes time, patience, and effort.

Not just on the part of the one that is hurt, but also on the part of the Church.

Thing is-are we patient?

I want to be.:tiphat

Patience is very important I think. Trust can't be forced. It can only be grown into over time if the person recieving the trust is trustworthy.

This is very needful.

This is so true.

As I have watched my daughter walk through a very hard place in her walk with God, and I have worried sick about her. I have been reminded of some valuable lessons.


One being, we never know what someone is going through, and how important it is that I let my brother and sisters know I love them, and am praying for them. Then pray for them.

To always let them know, I am a friend that truly cares.

This is true, but in the household of Faith, this should be a given...that we can be trusted to love and not judge...listening and praying without repeating.

Can the Saints trust me or you or any of us?!

It should be a given, but reality has taught me that it isn't a given. People have to earn trust.

I understand the reality of the thing, ILG...I have been in and around the Church for over 55 years, and I agree, people have to earn trust.

But what is wrong with us that people can't learn to trust the Saints?!

I've learned that if you risk trusting, you risk getting hurt in the process. Is it worth trusting anyhow?

Big question. And scary.

Yes, it is, but where have we lost it...or did we ever have it?! How did we get here where Saints fear trusting Saints?!

I think people have more issues in general today than they used to. So that would make trust a greater issue along with all the rest.

And so the fear factor is greater...agreed. But why can't we trust our brothers and sisters in Christ?!

We should be able to turn to any Saint any where and say, "I have a need...a problem...an issue...pray for me please" without folks thinking we're near backslidden or saying, "What's wrong with them?!

Okay, this is just my thots here and there's more than one way to go with this ... but I would have no problem turning to most people in my church and asking them to pray for me depending on the need. Some needs I would keep to myself. Some I would only share with a very select few and then there are other more general needs I would share with a BUNCH of people - maybe even the whole church.

Now how many of those people would really take my need - whatever it was - to heart and pray I don't know for sure. Some would. Some wouldn't.

It's not wise to just entrust everything and anything to anyone. It's not even so much about the other person possibly not being trustworthy. It's just not wisdom to tell anything or everything to any one person. And scripture teaches we need to exercise discretion in this regard.

Yes, I agree with all of this...I guess I am not articulating this correctly.

Going on the premise of the opening post, where my nephew told his dad, "We couldn't help the rabbit because he didn't trust us"...is the Church a place that the hurting can find refuge?!

If not, why not?!

Yes & no is how I would answer that. SHOULD it be? Yes, of course... in a way. But I only trust Jesus completely - hopefully, I can trust some to offer kindness, prayer & support. But I don't think I would ever again blindly trust another human being. Not with private matters.

I understand this...girl, I don't blindly trust my mother!!:nah

I guess I am just not expressing this correctly...my thoughts are not so much with sharing a confidence. Can people ever trust that the Church will love and not judge...help and not injure more...?!

IMO, no. People are human - people hurt people. Then again, I do realize that we should not judge, but love. So... honestly, I have no idea.

[Now, wasn't THAT helpful??]

Sorry, guess I went hopping off down a different bunny trail. Sorry. :o

No...not at all...I went there responding to ILG's post, too...

I'm just trying to find an answer to a question that has had me baffled...can people ever learn to trust us?!

I suppose their is no answer, or perhaps ILG, Subby and you have already answered sufficiently and I am too overtired to comprehend.:grampa

But your posts were good and true and I agree...:tiphat

Well, how would YOU answer this question, Barb?

Not sure at this juncture. I wrote this some time ago and only posted a small portion here...

Sis. Barb,

This question you have asked is very difficult to answer. About the time I think I have gotten over or have forgiven those who have hurt me...I open myself up...and am hurt again. What I have found though, is that now I trust God more.

I know human frailties and I know my failures and weaknesses. I do not expect friends, saints, or ministry ot be perfect any more. What I do expect has taken some time for me to learn...That it doesn't hurt me to love people, saints, ministry, or men any longer...because God made me a promise..Romans 8:28...He is working all these things for my good.

I have to start with myself. Be the friend, the saint, the ministry, the girlfriend that God expects of me. As I begin to change then a different sort of people are attracted to me...

Healthy boundaries, and trusting God more than people, and then being sensitive about chosing those you can or cannot trust, is being sensitive to the spirit.

These are some of my thoughts on this issue. When I spoke on the subject "The Wounded Rabbit"...there were so many others who were touched by it. God calls us all to:

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me,
because he has anointed me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight to the blind,
to release the oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor." [NIV, Luke 4:18-19]

Maybe we, as saints, could be trusted more if we forgot about ourselves and did what God has called us to do.

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who hurt and those who heal...I want to be one who heals.

Blessings, Rhoni

I trust "until" and then you have to start from scratch all over again.

Thank you, Rhoni...you and Subby, ILG and Felicity have all been most helpful...:tiphat

Thank-you for giving us things to contemplate, think, and pray about!
Love & Blessings, Rhoni

I liked the Wounded Rabbit story. It is a good representation I believe of a lot of saints in the churches. I think one of the problems is too much gossip and that people want to feel they are better than others. Unfortunately, I see too much politics in church circles. In order to help someone heal, you have to be able to listen and the person has to believe that the other will not use what they hear to their advantage. Confidentiality is so important. Once trust in a person is broken, it is very difficult, if not impossible to gain that trust back.