Do you believe the innocent party in a situation
 

Do you believe the innocent party in a situation of adultery can remarry?


I saw this question on an old forum here, and I myself question the biblical reference to answer this question. I know many within the apostolic faith who believe that the innocent party is able to remarry within the church and receive God's blessings. However I am not sure....:foottap

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

This is something I have thought about off and on.

Some churches believe that even if you divorce before salvation, that divorce carries through past the Blood, and continues on. Personally, I have always seen the whole as this.

Let's say a wife wants a divorce from her husband. He does not want one, and refuses to sign the papers. The judge grants the divorce anyway. The husband is innocent of the divorce. However, should he be able to remarry? That is another question.

Much to think about.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Depends on which legalistic organization you belong to.:gotcha The UPCI recognizes adultery as "innocent party" but ALJC does not recognize right to remarry under any circumstances. I truly believe that God forgives even divorce and once repented of frees anyone to remarry. I believe I have scripture to back it up. We have several threads on this issue, but the world we live in, with over 50% of marriages, in or out of the church, ending in divorce - we would have a lot of frustrated single people if they could not remarry.


There are rarely any innocent parties in a divorce. Some individuals would never commit adultry if they had multiple needs not getting met, having little to nothing to do with sex. It takes three in any marriage; i.e., husband, wife, and Jesus. Leave any one of the three not committed tot he success of the marriage then it will end in divorce.

Blessings, Rhoni

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For the longest I understood and was taught if an innocent party is faced with divorce because of adultery then that person is released from the vows and free to remarry. Recently, I had a discussion with a minister and that was brought up. Now I feel confused about the matter. I just want to know the truth and what God thinks.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Most of this stuff is pure legalism, gagging at a knat and swallowing a camel. It is just men trying to justify their actions.

God forgives ALL sin, and we live under God's grace. Does this give us a right to sin? Absolutely not, as Romans bears out, but if we do sin: we have and advocate with the Father through Jesus Christ our Lord.


Blessings, Rhoni

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Rhoni,
I am not sure I agree with you concerning there rarely being a truely innocent party, but I guess only God truely only knows the circumstances and matter of a persons hearts. I am not trying to justify remarriage or divorce by no means but I just have questions. I doesn't matter what organization I am in, the truth of the Word of God is what saves and leads you into all truth.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Since two become as ONE, both are either guilty or innocent., whatever the case may be.
It is a duty for both to keep their marrige together., whatever it takes.
Soooo, NO I don't believe that the "innocent"(?) may remarry.
Adults can surely KNOW better., but will use whatever argument or excuse to get ones WAY.
I've seen someone hold on to the vows even w/infidelity of the other spouse, then when someone very attractive and available came along - boom! All of a sudden this 'excuse' is brought up before ALL and obtains divorce only to immediately remarry., THAT one was just as guilty of having the kind of impulses (fleshly attraction) that the other one whom was unfaithful, DID. ALL humans are as capable of sin as the other., there is no way either is "innocent"., one just did it FIRST.
Perhaps it should be an issue of "first" vs "second" instead of "innocent" vs guilty. *shrug*
The one remarrying is sleeping with someone other than the one spouse allowed; I see it simply [logic] enough- while either one is alive, they kill (by divorce) the "till death do us part" vow they made when getting married., when/if they do "remarry"., GOD is not mocked.
Never mind "frustrated" gee if someone can't get a handle on their flesh, they make light of the power/strength GOD can provide.
I also see it as abuse when people say "OH, GOD forgives anything"., well of course He is a very forgiving GOD, yet He is also "righteous" and very 'legalistic' (if you will) about HIS WORD which is basically His LAW., this is of course JMHO Men often use "legalistic, legalism" but it is a man-made term, and GOD is unique., His ways are not our ways - why do people pretend to FORGET this? One canot claim to love and follow JEsUS without knowing Him and His WORD, which does say this!
OUR WAYS ARE NOT HIS WAYS!

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

blueeyes, it really doesn't matter what we think or what any given organization teaches. What matters is that you read the Word for yourself (pertinent scriptures), and live according to your convictions.

btw, I believe there are innocent parties--meaning a party who did NOT break the marriage vows. No one is *innocent*--we all make mistakes--but that doesn't mean there can't be a right side and a wrong side in a covenant, especially when one has been broken.

If a thief steals from a store, the store is the injured or innocent victim/party--but that doesn't mean the store's owners have never done anything wrong in their lives. Or, if they have, that it somehow negates the wrong of stealing. :coffee2

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

yep

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Good points...all of them. :)

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

I agree no one is completely innocent as a person, for we have all fallen. So say, if a couple is married within the church and one decides to walk away from God and his/her family but the one remains faithful to God, that person is to remain unmarried? May I have scriptures please?.. I am asking this not as a challege or debate but for better understanding.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

I have never seen an innocent party!

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I think the one who commits adultery is guilty and the one who doesn't is innocent. The innocent one has had regular human failings, the one who committed adultery made a choice to sin.

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How about abuse? If your husband never cheats on you, but beats you, are you stuck forever?

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Of course not, dummy! Kill 'em and ask for forgiveness.








J/K!

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

1st Cor. 7:15

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

No one is innocent! But something are out your control! You can't stop a person for filing for divorce or committing adultery. Yes, I know marriage is more than being faithful to your spouse it includes honoring each other in both words and deeds.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Thank you for making that statement!

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

While I was just joking...I believe Judgment begins at the house of God...

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Blueeyes,

Miss Bratfield has given you some excellent advice in this thread.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Good luck with that! This is one of the most controversial subjects around.

To study it for yourself, look up the phrases 'no longer under bondage' and 'save for the cause of fornication'. That will get you started.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

I do definitely believe in 'innocent party'. Yes, both people in a marriage have faults, they're human. But they also BOTH had the ability to choose adultery, but only ONE did, usually.

Some people want to say - 'Well, yeah, he committed adultery, but SHE....' ummm.... do you think HE was perfect??? And yet SHE didn't choose the devastating act of adultery to deal with the situation. Adultery can be avoided no matter HOW difficult the marriage situation is.

If one person walks away from the marriage, the other one is innocent of that act. Not a perfect human, but innocent of the 'crime' of severing the marriage.

I've seen a lot of good people married to some pretty rotten ones. When the rotten ones committed adultery, walked away, whatever... yes, the other party was 'innocent'.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Did you mean I Cor 7:5?

"Defraud (to deprive) ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency (self-restraint)."

It looks like both parties would be guilty - the one depriving and the one seeking elsewhere and committing adultery.

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Is depriving a sin?

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The scripture seems to imply that sin will rear it's head for the person deprived. It seems that the "depriver" had their hand in the fall of the "deprived".

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Being deprived is not always the case for adultery, there are great people who have given their all in marriages and yet you still find spouses cheating.Faithfullness is a matter of the the heart of each individual person and God.Tho two are united in marriage each person is responsible for their own salvation and committement to God and to their spouse.We can't control things people do, we can however control our reaction to it.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

I agree with you. But to begin the discussion, I think it would be good to pull out all scripture references and work from there.

I know a good many women who have spoken to me trying to complain only to find out it was their fault - depriving - for reasons such as - too tired, too busy, etc. Excuses they need to work on and not point the finger at the man. Just sayin'.....

But, again, I do agree on your point that we are all responsible for our own decisions and actions.

It is a very complicated issue at best. For my beginning contribution to this thread, I simply wanted to point out I Cor 7:5 for discussion.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

People don't only cheat when their spouses are depriving them sexually. In fact, most of the guys I've known who cheat have pretty wives who give them whatever they want.

And what about men who cheat on their wives with men? :coffee2

IF a person deprives their spouse, it can lead to temptation, but, 1. that's still not an excuse, and 2. that doesn't mean every time someone cheats it was because of sexual deprivation.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

That's exactly what I was trying to find the words to say! Great way of putting it!! :thumbsup

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

How do you really know that the pretty woman gave him everything he wanted? How can we know that and would she actually be honest about it?

I'm leaving the men with men thing alone - YUCK!!! LOL! Again, I'm trying to focus on this particular scripture reference.

I'm coming from the angle, after talking to a lot of women, that it appears to be their fault. At least the ones that have complained to me. They want to complain about him and his needs BUT after listening for a while, I find out it is their fault and they are trying to put the blame on him.

Of course, we can go into how a man makes you feel like an object and is a total turn off, but that isn't what I'm discussing here. :D

You are right, Abigail - It is NOT always the reason someone cheats and I have never said that is was, but let's focus on the scripture, okay?

IMO, it appears that if we do "deprive" another we are opening up that person to be tempted by Satan. Is that a sin on the "depriver's" part? That is the question. Let's focus on that.

The scripture bears out that either party WILL be tempted by Satan if they are deprived. That means that God knows, even with a decision, it can happen. OR does the scripture, without actually saying, only focus on the weaker person being deprived as the one tempted? Is the one committing the adultery the only one to blame or is the "depriver" also to blame? IMO, the scripture appears to be pointing at the "depriver" as being party and part to the sin.

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In my opinion, there's no excuse for cheating. Period.

Not defrauding one another is plain ol' common sense, because doing so is going to make everything harder. Including resisting temptation. But it still doesn't excuse it.

If someone commits adultery, they are at fault for committing adultery. Period. If the wife is a shrew, or the husband a jerk... they are at fault for being a shrew or a jerk. But they're not at fault for adultery. Adultery is an individual's choice, and it's always wrong. It's sin.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Although it is a sin to defraud one another sexually, it is not the only cause for marital discord. Many times other needs are not getting met, emotional, psychological, and someone spoke about the issue of respect.

Betrayal is more than a sexual affair. When a husband does not protect his wife/shield her from verbal attacks from others, or does not stand up and be the head or decision maker that God intended then it puts the wife in a precarious situation to lose respect for him as he has not respected her.

Even though, many would like to think there is a truly innocent spouse - I still hold to the conviction that this is not so, but I was not an innocent party:)

Blessings, Rhoni

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

Easy thing for someone never faced with it to say. There are many ways to 'betray' or commit adultery. Just thinking about it makes one guilty. How would you ever know?

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Outside of our emotional opinions on adultery - would someone care to look at I Cor 7:5 and give your interpretation of that scripture? TIA! :thumbsup

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You feel that strongly about that scripture? I think it points out that IT COULD happen, but not that it WILL happen. It's a warning.

I also think if we are talking about depriving being a fault of the marriage that we should discuss the reasons of why there might be depriving. Not fair to talk about one without the other.

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I agree! Could be that one is not focused on pleasing the other.

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How do you know I've never been faced with it?

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1 Corinthians 7:5 (King James Version)

5Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

Common sense. Don't defraud one another because doing so opens you up to being more vulnerable to temptation. I'm not sure what else there is to say about it.

Re: Do you believe the innocent party in a situati
 

I was going to ask that too - lol.....

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That's the way I see it - - a warning of what could happen, so don't do it. I don't read that if you do it's a sin either.