Pregnancy
 

Ok say two people are dating and the girl gets pregnant no marrage plans but all of the sudden they get married after they find out she is pregnant I do not think this is right in my opinion but what is yours...I know this has happened in our church a couple of times...

Re: Pregnancy
 

I don't think there is a perfect answer.

Re: Pregnancy
 

I'm not quite sure what the question is, but a pregnancy between two non-married individuals is not the same as a marriage with the assumption that "well, they are expecting so we might as well make things legal in the eyes of the state since it is now official (marriage) in the eyes of God.". I have seen this viewpoint myself and it always leads to disaster.
IF that is what your asking/getting at.

Re: Pregnancy
 

If they are not in love with each other, but only dating and this happens, I think it's a travesty that they feel like they have to marry.

I seen it work a few times, but for the most part it always fails.

Re: Pregnancy
 

Yes the couple are just marrying cause of the pregnancy they had no plans to get married before..So they have not had really anytime to get to know one another they and are marrying just cause and that can be harmful later down the line for the child thats how I look at it...

Re: Pregnancy
 

I would not have suggested my children marry had this happened to them. I would expect the father to help provide for the child, but not to marry the mother. He could be a part of the child's life and if down the road they felt they loved each other and wanted to make a go of it, that would be fine.

But, marrying just because she is pregnant does not make it less wrong.

Re: Pregnancy
 

My parents married due to pregnancy. My mother was 15 and dad 19... But that was many many years ago! My older brother was born from that so if they had not I guess I would not be here but I can say it did not work for my parents. They ultimately divorced (badly) years later. They "tried to make work" for nearly 20 yrs and looking back I believe it would have been better if they had not tried so long. I personally still have MANY emotional scars I am working through at age ... almost 40!

Re: Pregnancy
 

Sorry - didn't get my thought out completely before hitting "post".

Neither of them were in church (of any sort) but at that time it was considered the thing to do.

My perspective is two wrongs don't make a right. However if the couple were already intending to get married I guess it's ok... they are just starting with a ready made family... It does make it more challenging but not impossible. WITH THE LORDS HELP...

Re: Pregnancy
 

It's biblically correct. Does that matter? :D

Whatever happened to a man being honorable and taking responsibility for his actions? He should at least offer marriage, and if she accepts, then he should love her for the rest of her days.

If they're too young, however, I think the parents have to take charge and help out. The young man still needs to remain in her life, because they have a child together. Marriage makes sense to me, but it may not be absolutely necessary.

It's certainly not WRONG for a couple to get married because of a pregnancy. How could that be wrong?

Re: Pregnancy
 

So you do not think one would do it because of being looked down upon in the church....for being pregnant and not being married..

Re: Pregnancy
 

More than likely that is why they are doing it. Of course, we don't know the circumstances.

Re: Pregnancy
 

I think the churches who do that are few and far between. I know this has happened in several churches (including ones I attended) that I'm aware of, and normally, while the pregnancy is not celebrated, the church is usually supportive of the woman or the couple. Especially if they're very young.

Support includes leading them both to repentance, btw, but hopefully in this manner:

Galatians 6:1 Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.
Galatians 6:2 Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.

When a situation such as an unwanted pregnancy occurs, there are both practical and spiritual components to consider. Any good support will address both.

Re: Pregnancy
 

Do you mean they hurried to get married before anyone knew there was a pregnancy?

Re: Pregnancy
 

Yea

Re: Pregnancy
 

Boom a week later they are pregnant...LOL

Re: Pregnancy
 

I remember closed-door all church member meetings where it was announced that so-and-so was pregnant, and I still can hear the collective gasp! from many people in the "audience" when the pastor uttered those words.

Granted, many of these same members could have listened more closely to George Michael at the time (mid 80's).... :)

Re: Pregnancy
 

Ohhhhhh.

Well.

Now I have to think about it. LOL!


In that case, they're probably short changing themselves by not seeking godly counsel and the assistance of their family and friends, before they make such a decision.

I don't think it's wrong for them to marry, but it's not a good way to approach a lifelong covenant. It can work, but if they don't reassess their relationship and change their approach, it's bound to cause problems.

I try really hard not to be of the "you made your bed--now lie in it" crowd. HOWEVER, there are consequences to certain decisions. The pregnancy is unavoidable, and in some cultures, marriage is also a definite consequence. They must be somewhat attracted to one another, or they wouldn't have had sex in the first place, so there's that.....

Regardless of what they decide to do, the father needs to remain available to the mother of his child for the rest of their lives, even if he marries another woman. To me, it just makes better sense for everyone, especially the child, for them to be married and be a family.

I know it's not quite that cut and dried, though.

As to your question--I don't think they should get married quickly or secretly just to cover up the pregnancy. That puts them in a position to be dishonest from the get go.

Re: Pregnancy
 

I've known of babies born several months "premature", but weigh in at like 8 lbs. Isn't that odd? :lol

Re: Pregnancy
 

Ya. I could tell you the story of an 11 lb'er who was born two months premature.

Ya right. Of course there are only a couple of people who needed to believe that story -and they do.

Re: Pregnancy
 

lol!!!!

That's always odd. :rolleyes2

Hannah recently embarrassed me by telling someone that we were married in July, and she was born the following September!!!! :blush It was actually July of 1994, followed by her birth in September of 1995.

So much fun setting that straight! :foottap

Re: Pregnancy
 

OK - Confession time! LOL :sad

More than 12 yrs ago I landed myself at church pregnant. The story is way too long to get into here but I was new at this church. I had previously been in another (UPC) church and "backslid" for over a year and then "got back in church". A few weeks later I found out I was pregnant. Due to circumstances and for the safety of me and my child I moved far away (to the area in which I now live and go to church).

Anyhow, I was new, young and single as far as everyone knew. I was so badly hurt emotionally by the situation I just come from I didn't open up right away to anyone. I was SCARED TO DEATH of the judgement I was facing (at least in my mind). I knew I would be "showing" soon and would have to do some explaining! LOL

Very few people know the details of how I ended up in the situation but when every one found out I was pregnant they rallied around me and really stood by me. There were a few busy bodies and nosey gossips but I was able to work through it. Now they are gone and I am still there (go figure)

Ultimately what happened - I met and married my current (wonderful) husband and between us we have 3 kids. Had I married the father of my child.... it would NOT have ended well.... In my case marrying him was NOT the right thing to do. It would have been the wrong thing to do.

Re: Pregnancy
 

What a great story! Thanks for sharing that. :)

I have a...well, we'll just say "female relative"...lol, who got pregnant by a real jerk. He bailed on her the moment he found out she was pregnant, but even if he hadn't--he was not marrying material.

She met her husband shortly before her son was born, he fell in love with her, supported her through the birth of her son, and then married her and adopted the baby. They are still together, happy, and have a second son.

So, I agree, marriage isn't always the answer. Especially if one or both parties aren't mature enough to handle it, or have no interest in it, really.

Re: Pregnancy
 

My hubby adopted my (now "our") son also. We made a big deal of it. And we have always been honest with him about it. I was terrified that one day someone else would tell him he was adopted and I did not want that to happen so, as early as I could, I started talking to him about it.

He may at some time want to know more but for now has not brought it up too much.

Re: Pregnancy
 

It's those pre-natal vitamins... they make BIG babies. lol

Re: Pregnancy
 

My momma always said that it seems like the first child can come anytime in a marriage but everyone after that takes nine months. =)

Re: Pregnancy
 

:ursofunny:ursofunny:ursofunny