How were you treated when changed your standards?
 

My mind comes to what happened when you figured out that the Bible doesn't have what you thought was there because it had been repeated so many times. But the flip side would be interesting too, for those that stepped into "Holiness" doctrine from living normally. Of course, usually those that adopted the "Holiness Standard" left a sinful life and came to God it seems.

Anyway, were you shunned, did your family say you were going to hell, did you lose everyone you knew and had to start over? How did you find a new church? Really, anything you want to share would be helpful.

It seems that when you leave a church with outward standards, it doesn't matter that you have the inward standards that the Bible DOES require. Suddenly, even though they are supposed to love their enemies, you are not worthy of love any more. It hurts when you see that they love the rest of the world and not you. :smack

Most importantly, how did you deal with it and get over it? I know it is obvious that we need to care more about what God thinks than what men think, but we are human and we do desire to have people accept us and love us, especially the family of God.

Thanks to all who take the time to answer these questions.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

Like unwelcome dirt under your fingernails.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

Lost. Totally and utterly lost.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

it's been so long it's hard to remember anything but the good part. It's been nearly 30 years. I found that my true friends remained my friend, even though I could not minister in their churches, but that was OK because I realized the constraints they were under. Some who I thought were my friends were more committed to what others thought of them than they were friendship.

I found that there was a whole new world of believers that appreciated the gifting that God had place in me and the call of God. I have never lacked for fellowship or support, but there are times when I have been nostalgic about the "good old days."

I have known some who have grown bitter over the rejection they felt when they changed but I purposed to respect those who didn't understand my position and honor the consecrations they had made to God, whether they accepted me or not I accepted them as co-heirs of the faith. I think that has helped me to keep from becoming hard and cynical.

Much more to be said but I'll stop here.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

What a lovely attitude! :thumbsup

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I think you have the attitude you do because you focus on the love you have for them, instead of the lack of love they show you. :thumbsup

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I've never looked back once we left. I did it because I believed, and still do, that I was following the Lord. It has proved to be one of the best decisions I have made.

Men can usually leave and have no problems when they're seen in public. Women, on the other hand, get shunned far more, I think, because of how their appearance changes. I NEVER told or instructed or encouraged my wife to cut her hair. I left that totally up to her.

I've been generally treated well by District officials over the years. That's because I don't see any of them at the beach! LOL

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

At first I had alot of friends who wanted to remind me regularly that I was in danger of hell-fire. But that was ok, because I knew what GOD had said to me and that was enough.

Over the years, my friends have all come to respect my walk with the Lord and to understand that I never put them down for living the standards that they feel they need to in order to please God. But in return, they have to understand that if I were to go back to those standards it would only be because somehow someone would have talked me back into believing that I had to live that way in order to earn my salvation. I never did live standards because I believed that GOD cared. I believed that MEN cared, but not God.

When all was said and done, I have lost one friend over leaving the standards. Only one. That friend told me that when I was ready to repent and admit that I was wrong, she was willing to be my friend again. Oh well, that kind of friend I will pray for, but I don't need her in my life. Everyone else has remained as good a friend as ever.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

We lost a lot of acquaintances.... but no real friends. They're still there (the friends). The acquaintances acted like friends before we left, but looking back, they were the biggest back-biting, complainers in the church -until they had something bigger to complain about, which was us! LOL

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I have learned to love folks where they are and trust that they will grow in their understanding. I have watched people who were literally in the gutter, homeless and drug addicted, as they give their heart to the Lord and begin to walk in faith. I have watched people who were "in the truth" all of their lives get stuck at certain points in their walk and never move beyond that. I have learned to love them all and walk with them as far as they are willing to walk on this journey of faith.

Much of my family is still in the UPC and I respect them for their walk, I do have a problem with the attitude of some who believe I am lost because I don't do it their way, but I praye that they too will see the truth and take just one step outside the incubater in which they have lived.

I'm just rambling now so I'll put this on hold.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I was raised in the AG, so a little different situation, but not as different as you might think. We didn't call our rules "standards", but it's about the same thing. Oh, the list of rules/standards was different, but a lot of ours weren't found in the Bible, just like a lot of yours.

They changed over the years: when I was a kid, there was absolutely no problem with Halloween, but we couldn't play pool. Now, it's just the opposite -- in a most AG churches, anyway. (That's another similarity we have with you guys: the rules vary a lot from church to church, and even from family to family. ;))

Anyway, in my case, I "left standards", so to speak, gradually. (Slippery slope, you say? :lol) Never really followed the no-drinking rule, from the time I reached drinking age. Just didn't buy it, since it wasn't "Bible". Didn't drop the tithing rule until I was in my forties.

How was I treated? Not too badly, really. Even today, I just get occasional "advice" from Mom about it :lol, but otherwise, no problem.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

People didn't understand at all. But then, I was so in love with God I didn't care. I really believed in what I was doing.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

There are a few here that grew up not having outward dress standards that changed when they got in the church - - they should speak up too.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

What am I?? Chopped liver??? :D

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I grew up in a church with lots of 'standards" and still belong to a church with lots of standards...we all should have standards....however we should know most things we call standards are really convictions...personal convictions....and personal should remain personal...
and I was just teasing about coffee...lol...I am such a teaser sometimes people don´t know when I am serious...

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I think we should be christians at all times...however I know many times I have failed...

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

other than being informed that i am lost, not to badly by the sinners around me, dt

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

One of the girls I grew up with in Ohio and went to JCM with refused to see me when I passed through where she and her husband were Pastoring. She reemed me out for "knowing better". She was very rude and other friends felt they had to "let me know how they felt" every time I saw one. and preachers loved to preach about me in whatever service I happened to attend. I was hurt at first as the habit is to kick a person when they are down in UPC, but now I just consider their ignorance and let it roll off my back like water off a duck's back.

Blessings, Rhoni

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

rhoni, my friend let me speak to your heart for Jesus, i think you are great, and god loves you, do the right thing and leave them in the dust, where they live, dt

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

In my experience, the ones complaining the loudest at others changing are the ones that in their hearts resent dress standards.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

Don't you think that there is value in a preacher's consecration that would keep him from the beach (and wearing shorts)?

Wouldn't this consecration help to make his ministry more anointed and his preaching more effective?

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I loved standards. Sometimes, I wish I could still live them but I wouldn't be being true to myself if I did. So, I have to get out of romantic mode and get into reality. But I still love what they stand for minus the legalism.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

Very sad Rhoni...people are so cruel...who is my friend is my friend. I feel everyone has a right to believe like they feel to believe...I deeply love my sisters and they sure do not look like me in dress anyway...ha...
I know people that dress like me that would destroy me in a moment if they could so.. their long dress is just a farce...

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

Hopefully I have not mistreated folks who have backslid. I would like to see them restored.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

does that mean you feel that those who have "loosened" their standards have backslidden? Just a question.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

bump

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

Dear DT,

The statement under yours is the reason good Holy Ghost filled individuals resent hypocrisy:thumbsup.

*hugs* Rhoni

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

:ursofunny:ursofunny:ursofunny Yes, That is what he was saying.:foottap

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

It is a shame and a reproach that you were so ill treated. God has standards too that have very little to do with clothes and everything to do with love. Too bad those folks didn't measure up to those.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

Thank you Bro. A,

Truth is - I have forgiven them. My sister reminds me that I used to be just like them...and she is correct *sigh* Thankfully I realized that I am not special and I have sinned just like everyone else. We are all levelled at the foot of the cross. Those who think they are more righteous than anyone else have a pride issue don't they?

Blessings, Rhoni

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I had the unique privilege of attending a local UPCI church last night and they were wonderful people. Some of my Ohio friends from back in the day. We have a couple common bonds: Ohio/Buckeye Lake, and UPCI. I am thankful for my heritage.

Blessings, Rhoni

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

good for you my friend, i was recently informed that people from my old upc church say i am lost, but how can that be i attend a different upc church, oh well, dt:sad

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I do not think being "consecrated" would prevent a brother from wearing shorts or going to the beach. And I don't know that a "consecration level" would better one's preaching. Paul was consecrated to GOD, his letters were weighty, but I hear in speech he wasn't that good of a preacher...

Also, as someone who came from a "no standards" background, then got standards, then more and more standards, and now few standards... all I can say is it is sort of like a roller coaster. I lost a lot of faith in those that preached strict outward standards when they couldn't prove it biblically, or tried and twisted the Scripture, or would just start yelling and acting foolishly. My sister went through the standards roller coaster too, and for now, we are at the place where we dress gender appropriately, she has long hair, I have short hair, and when we go to the beach, we still are able to dress modest and know that JESUS is watching and is pleased with how we live out being modest and moderate.

If anyone watches 18 Kids and Counting, then I guess you could say myself, my assembly, and my sister (in a UPC assembly) dress similar to how the Duggar's would dress... and as for watching 18 Kids and Counting... yes I watch them on the tv, but when I move out of my parent's house, I will not own a tv, and my pastor does not own a tv.

-Bro. Alex

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

[QUOTE=Sept5SavedTeen;761203]I do not think being "consecrated" would prevent a brother from wearing shorts or going to the beach. And I don't know that a "consecration level" would better one's preaching. Paul was consecrated to GOD, his letters were weighty, but I hear in speech he wasn't that good of a preacher...

Neither was Moses, but all GOD needed was Moses' mouth, (yielded to HIM). That
Moses would be as God's mouth.
Today all God needs is our bodies, presented unto Him as living sacrifices, holy
and acceptable to God which is our reasonable service!

Blessings,

Falla39

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

[QUOTE=Falla39;761208]Um, didn't Aaron do most of the talking?

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

I orginally asked this of Man of Word, but I don't think he has seen my questions. So anyone, feel free to answer.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

The rest of your post indicated you still have your own standards. They just aren't imposed on you. "No standards" sounds awful bad, when hopefully any follower of Christ would have his own standards.

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

And if you ever do, I hope that you and them both are not in speedos. :thumbsup

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

Do you not go to the beach, or wear shorts? Do you believe this makes you more holy?

JESUS went to the beach of his day... And I'm sure JESUS showed HIS calves, not in shorts, but maybe robes or something like that. What is the problem?

-Bro. Alex

Re: How were you treated when changed your standar
 

[QUOTE=Timmy;761248] I believe so, Timmy.
He represented the priest or preacher today. But Moses
represented the mouth of God. He instructed Aaron what
God wanted and Aaron told the people. I believe that is correct.

Blessings,

Falla39