Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

You really want to believe that we've made progress along the prejudice/racial lines, but I've decided we haven't.

Our company is extremely PC focused (politically correct - not Pentecostal church).

In one of my departments, I have two employees and they are people of color. A new employee with IT has come aboard and has tried to stir things up in that department and basically she's trying to take over. She is also a person of color.

Both employees had complained about the trouble she was giving them.

I had a "come to Jesus" meeting with her and told her to back off my employees and do her job. She thanked me for the meeting and said that just that morning she had prayed that God would show her what she was doing wrong.

THEN.....she went to one of my employees and read her the right act - mad and upset that she came to me with the problems. She even called her a skank and said she had thought of ways to get back at her, but decided not to.
She didn't think the male employee would complain (but he did too).

When I talked with my two employees about this situation, the male employee asked if he could be upfront with me. I said absolutely - it's all about candor.

He said, the reason she is so upset that we told you what she was doing and you talked to her about it is because she thought since we are all three people of color that we'd be her homies and stick with her. She never thought we'd come tell our white manager.

I WAS FLOORED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sad thing, I think he's right.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Renda,
That must have been eye opening. I guess we take certain things like not being prejudice to go both ways for granted. Looks like on one end a certain code of ethics is expected, but not necessarily returned from the one expected to be treated a certain way. So some expect not to be prejudice against but that same person will turn around and practice prejudice ways and think it is fine.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

It's a completely different world in the south.

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Yes....COMPLETELY different!

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Yes it is Renda. And I have heard those same kind of comments myself.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

10 years of working in black funeral home and I have lost count of the times I have heard " I dont want no white man touching me" !

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Yeah!!!! Let's run all o' them people outta this country!!! I'm tellin' ya what, them-ere black people just mistreat us whites, after all the nice things we done for'em!!!!! I just can't understand why them people ain't more grateful!!

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Bro,

There is not an excuse for ignorance like Renda described-- not an excuse for anyone, regardless of their color.

At times, the people who have PERSONALLY given me the most heartache and grief have been hispanic and black people.


Some people, regardless of their color, just don't know how to carry themselves in a professionally acceptable manner.

If this person was my supervisor, I would have told her boss about her ignorance too.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

She's been here two months and has already had two reports to HR (on her).

This person isn't anyone's supervisor either.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

You're off on this one.

Until this came up, I didn't even realize I was dealing with three people of color - - I just don't look at things in that way.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

:lolYou know Jermyn, I think I stand up for you more than you do!:lol

Look...was this person out of line? Yep. But I think one of the most valuable things we can do, when someone misbehaves is ask, "Why?" And eventually, this kind of story ends up bringing out the worst, such as the dude who is obviously irritated that so many black people in the funeral industry...so many he can't count them...have said, "I don't want no white person touching me". THAT'S when *I* get irritated. This story is just gonna bring out the anti-black potshots! Has AllState ever considered WHY a black person in the south may say that??? And better yet, how many multitudes of times more have white people said, "I don't want no black man touching me!"?

Yes, this person expected people of her own race to help her out in a workplace battle against a person of a different race. Let's reverse the races in this story and admit that this same scenario, in reverse order, has happened WAY more.

But ultimately, I'm figuring that black people, in proportion (oh boy, I'm gonna catch it for this) have about 400 years of mistreating us before the score is even. So for now, I'll just let it slide.

In conclusion (Can the musicians please come), I don't think this story has as much to do with race as it does a person who was a poor employee in an office. I think you could substitute these people being relatives, rather than race (I thought since you were my cousin, you'd back me up against her) and it would be identical.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

:lolI figured you'd think so. Renda, I haven't disagreed with you since I've been here! Well, except all those infractions!:lol

But really, like I just said to Jermyn, I don't think it has as much to do with race as it does this company just having a bad employee trying to use anything she can to get an edge. It happens all the time in dog-eat-dog workplace. Heck, it happens in the church and at the General Conference election for General Superintendent. That's really the main point I'm trying to make.

I think it it had been cousins teaming up against you, it would have been the same thing.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

I have no idea what you mean by this post!! I can give you atleast a dozen names and numbers of these folks who will tell you they dont wanna go to a white funeral home! Its just their preference !

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Hey my ancestors were treated just as bad and I have documentation to prove it!

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

NOW - - the double standard is what gets weary.

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Well now it's ok for a black person to have an attitude/misbehave because you know we got to even the score. What a crock.

Treat all equal.


I never knew how white I was tell I moved to the south. I've learned bigots come in all colors.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

My two employees are embarrassed (for her) and actually UPSET that she feels that way about it all. They are both way beyond that type thinking.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Same here. We already done singed this-ere song.

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Nope, didn't say it was ok at all. I said we should try to understand why and how this environment has been created and bring a little understanding to the table rather than back-and-forth complaining.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

I completely disagree.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

How so, specifically? You don't think understanding how and why such animosity has been created is a worthwhile pursuit?

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

It doesn't matter, she was an employee which she s expected to do a job in a certain manner. All kinds of people have had not so good life experiences but they must move on. can't use it as an excuse to not do right or better for themselves. (not saying you think otherwise)

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

At what point is it over? Yes, the US screwed up, blood was shed to make that right - it's over. When will it be even? 500 year anniversary? 1000 year anniversary? How can we try to move forward if we continually have to be apologetic?

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

So after all you just said, with understanding WHY there would be racial tones about it, and the evidence from the other employee's mouth, you still refuse to believe that racism is involved here?

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

When? When it's really over. I think that's where we, as white people, get it really messed up. It's not over. And to be certain, there will always be racism throughout the world. But when we get somewhere close in the U.S. to be equal, then we might be able to say it's over. But right now now it's not even close to being equal.

You insinuate that it was over after the blood was shed...in the 1860's. But in my lifetime, and yours, black people couldn't vote, couldn't get a seat in many restaurants, couldn't drink out of public water fountains...can you even start to imagine how that felt? We still walk in the residue of the institutional racism of the United States government, which has always claimed liberty and justice for all.

And what about now? Research shows it's still significantly more difficult for a black person to get hired than a white person.

I'm just saying, there's STILL a LOT of animosity out there and I think it's flawed for us to pretend it's all over with.

My family doctor, who drives a Mercedes, has been stopped by police over 30 times...not once for speeding....not once for anything, and I'm in California.

It's not over. I wish it were.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Geez. I didn't think it was back-and-forth complaining. I thought it was Renda sharing an "eye opener" from her own perspective. If she had given an example in reverse, what would your position be?

That doesn't mean understanding/or sharing. It means, Renda has a right to observe and share examples (as do others) and we can also "understand" as you've so ably provided to the thread. But it's not either/or.

You little hand-slapper you. Maybe a little too quick to correct on this one? :)

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

I think it's valuable to solving.

However, this post wasn't about "how to solve racism."

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

In some places in America, being black is still a liability in part because of the actions of other black people. Racial prejudice is wrong and destructive, but sometimes I understand how people can become racially prejudiced.

This goes for blacks, whites, asians-- everyone.

I believe there are instances, even today, where blacks may face prejudice and/or discrimination.

However, there are a lot of people that make things bad for themselves and others around them.

They come in all colors.

Renda cited an experience that involved black people.

Excuses are not acceptable.

The behavior described is completely indefensible.



NOW, you can't keep making excuses for people. You're so much of a bleeder, you could die from blood loss one day!:)

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

That's exactly how I see it. I would never expect other "white" people to stand behind me if I was in the wrong just because we are all white.

Just to think that she EXPECTED them to accept her behavior and not tell me just because they were homies was completely out of line.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Even those who make it worse for themselves, we can look at it more through a sociological lens. Blacks have no inheritance of land here. They have no tradition of education. Some still have a slave mentality that is hard to undo, especially when they live in ghettos, surrounded by ruined neighborhoods, second-class schools and feelings of hopelessness. I don't ignore that this rides on their own action to change that: be responsible and minimize single-parent homes, get a glimpse of the possibilities outside the little world that many in poverty live in, etc... but neither do I pretend that is an easy challenge to overcome.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

You're probably right!:lol But I just think it's a "head-in-the-sand" situation for "us" to keep saying "It's over." I'm sorry, I don't think it is.

For the record...I think it's awful what happened at Renda's work. There's no excuse for it. But the problem is, it sets off idiotic comments like the "black funeral home" statement. Call me a "goody-two-shoes" but I've heard comments like that, and I say, "I understand. I'll make sure you're taken care of in a satisfactory manner"...and I DO understand!

There's a tone in "AllStates" post that he's sick & tired of these black people feeling the way they do. I, for one, am not. I understand.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

You need to hook up with Al.....:bliss

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Jermyn,

I appreciate you!

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Washington, DC used to be rife with that, "us vs them" mentality. However, before I left, I did not see that mentality played out as much as I used to see it.

Honestly, sometimes that mentality is vital for survival and success.

It's played out among other groups as that, "good 'ol boy network."


Ultimately, that mentality will only get most people only so far before they make a fool of themselves and the people who promoted them if the promoted one is not prepared.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

Like I said, I believe this lady is terribly wrong because she's a terrible employee, not because of a racial problem. If these three had been cousins, she would have appealed to them as relatives to back her up. We all seek out people with commonality to stand by us in crisis. THAT is more the problem than a racial problem.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

I appreciate Jermyn more than you do!:heeheehee

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and I you!

I'm glad that I actually met you in person. I think you would be a pretty cool person to work with.

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

You are exactly right!! The good 'ole boy network is just as upsetting.

And, I totally agree with your last statement too.

I've adopted a new scripture this week - -Proverbs 19:11

"Good sense makes a man/woman restrain his anger, and it is his/her glory to overlook a transgression or an offense."

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

NOW, you're talking!!!!:thumbsup

Re: Wow.....I Found this Shocking and Sad
 

I am too - so glad you made it happen.