The Juxtapositions of Things
 

I consider myself to be a fairly progressive person when it comes to male/female positions of authority but I do recognize that I also hold portions of my views that some would consider old school. But I also see those positions as being right so I am not apologetic for that position.

Here are a few things that I see from time to time that cause me to shake my head.

1. It is a cardinal sin these days to say "that's womens work". But there isn't a problem saying "that's a man's job".

2. People have trouble with viewing the male in a marriage as the leader but when something isn't put in order by the man the way someone else thinks it ought to be then they have no problem saying "Be a man".

These are 2 small examples of how people contradict their own words demonstrating that they don't really want true equality... they just want equality when it benefits one side or the argument.

Do you have any thoughts on these examples or do you have any examples of your own to share?

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Men don't like to do "women's" work oftentimes because they feel they are too good to do it. Women don't like to do "men's" work oftentimes because _________. I'd feel more comfortable having a woman fill in the blank there.

There can't be equality as long as one side feels its too good to do the work of the other side.

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Women don't like to do "mens" work oftentimes because it isn't a woman's responsibility.

I wasn't put here on this earth to take care of myself. It's the man's responsibility to take care of me.

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

My... what big assumptions you have there.

You don't think it is because people feel comfortable doing things that they were designed to do and less comfortable doing others?

You don't think that women don't do some things because they are yucky?

I think we can say that, with some exceptions, that we can say that things aren't because anyone feels they are too good. That is a prejudiced assumption with basis only in feeling and presumed thought processes.

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Do you feel the same way about you having a responsibility to take care of your husband? (And... that is an actual question... not a sideways smart remark)

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I'm a man.

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I would like to state, for the record, I do cook, clean etc. When my wife's job had her arriving at home at 6pm each evening and I got off at 3:30pm I had a meal cooked every evening. I'm not afraid to wash clothes or dishes or to cook a meal or vacuum a floor.

Nor is my wife afraid to feed the hogs or change a starter. There are things she is better at and there are things I am better at but we share equally and live with an attitude of caring for one another across any lines that might be perceived as being out there.

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

So you were presenting what you have seen in others rather than what you feel yourself?

I didn't ask questions with assumptions toward femininity. I asked questions based on what I felt your post was stating.

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

:thumbsup Great Post.

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Thanks...

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Yes, of course I have that responsibility to do my part. The difference is that I don't change the oil in our vehicles, I don't mow the lawn, I don't bait my own hook or take the fish off the hook (lol), change a flat, or all the other "men" things that I don't want to be responsible for. It suits me just fine.

I take care of paying bills, etc., but at the end of day, I've always known that I do not wear the pants in the family - no pun intended. LOL!

On a side note - Digging!!! Yesterday, there was an advertisement during the news showing a "cowboy" in a black Stetson saying that manicures and pedicures made him feel good or something along that line!!! :toofunny I walked into the room and caught the end of it (I guess his Stetson caught my attention - LOL!) and asked my husband why the guy was in the ad for the nail place? I won't repeat what my husband said. :toofunny

I like a "manly" man, just sayin'.....metrosexual is out.....pretty boys are out...:thumbsdown

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

If a man refuses to wash the dishes under any circumstances then why would you say he is refusing to? If a woman refuses to mow the yard under any circumstances, assuming she is able, then why would you say she is refusing to?

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Yes ma'am. Yours is an attitude we don't see enough of.

Now I need to go and cancel my pedicure. LOL... jk... no pedicures here... for me or my wife. :)

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Probably because I was raised in Texas. :D

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They have been taught or have learned from others that there are specific gender lines and they are sticking to them.

I don't feel that way myself to the extent that I won't do this or that. We will do whatever needs to be done to keep the house moving well.

But some have been taught that there are absolute and total gender lines drawn in the household care department.

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Someone needs to locate that "cowboy" and beat some sense into him. Maybe he watched Brokeback Mountain! :toofunny

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

It certainly helps. :)

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My husband refuses to wash dishes and told me before we got married, "I don't want to misrepresent myself to you, so I want you to know that I will never wash dishes." Once he washed a frying pan and my daughter took a picture, just for the record! LOL!

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Viva la Texas!!! :thumbsup

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Well at least he was honest with you up front huh? :)

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If someones up front with a person about something like that then they can't get mad when they don't do it. :)

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He is the most honorable and honest man that I have ever known. That's one of the reasons I stay with him. LOL! Our 23rd wedding anniversary was this past Sunday. I asked him if he had ever thought of leaving me. He said, "Yes, a couple of times." :toofunny Ditto for me, Buddy! :toofunny

That's right, except, when I am cleaning the kitchen and he slowly slides dishes in front of me and laughs. That is not funny! :smack Yes, he does do that sometimes. LOL!

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

We have a rule in our house. He/She who cooks never cleans. :)

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

I stayed home with the kids, cooked, cleaned, brought in very little money. (Usually a couple hundred a month). I also worked part time basically, at the church, cleaning, doing the music, teaching sunday school, some basic bookkeeping, preaching, etc. for free, mostly expected and underappreciated I suppose.

Now I work part time for money, my husband cooks sometimes and helps me around the house. The kids help around the house more. Things are much more balanced.

I'm much happier. :)

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Interesting thread. :D

I'm a single mom...I do it all, and enjoy doing it all. But I don't enjoy doing it all alone.

I've decided that it's definitely not about the job to be done, it's about the attitude of service. I'd love to find someone who would go out of his way to serve me with his actions, who I could also serve with mine. :)

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

We have the same rule! :thumbsup

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Yes ma'am. There is a very real issue of people just having expectations and failing to be thankful for all the work that is put into a household.

Even if a husband is one of those who won't wash a dish... he can say Thank you. It goes a long way to helping people feel like their hard work is recognized and appreciated. Nobody likes to feel they are not recognized or appreciated.

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

It's a beautiful thing Nahkoe... I pray you do find just that.

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I tend to think of a "man's job" as being those things that require more physical strength. My husband is bigger and much stronger than I am, so physically demanding tasks are easier for him. He is willing to help with all household duties, so I guess he doesn't perceive anything as "women's work".

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

That sounds like the makings of a great team there. :)

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I am like that myself. I told my wife that I hate washing dishes to such an extreme that it would be easier to simply throw the dirty ones out and buy all new then stand in front of the sink with my hands in that horrid water.

Needless to say we have a dish washer and I DO use that.

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

These are probably the same men who will refuse a job (or quit one) if their manager is a gal.

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A dish washer is washing dishes, which he wouldn't do. LOL! He does take his plate to the counter though. LOL!

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

My two brothers and I once suggested to my dad that he get a dishwasher for our house when we were living at home. He said "Why would I do that... I've got three of them" :)

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:toofunny That's what my father said, except, "Why would I do that, I've got SIX of them." :toofunny

One time we broke the vacuum cleaner and my mother made us sweep the carpets for months to teach us a lesson! You know those huge round braided area rugs? LOL! One time I swept the dirt under the living room carpet and she caught me and asked where I learned to do that! I didn't want to tell her on Popeye, because I thought she wouldn't let me watch it anymore! :toofunny

Re: The Juxtapositions of Things
 

Ahhh... thou hast learned well little grasshopper. :)

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:toofunny :toofunny