How does your church safeguard your children?
 

Our church has recently experienced something that shook us to the core. A 40 year old man who grew up in our church and for all the world appeared to be an upstanding Christian person was put in prison for 39 counts of rape and child molestation. NO ONE would have guessed this of him. The molestation has been going on for at least the last 4 years and more than likely, much longer than that. There are two girls involved. One his own daughter, the other is the daughter of his best friend. It's a very, very sad situation.

I am not telling you this to belittle our church in any way. In fact, I think that we, as a church, have handled this impressively well! :) I am very proud of all of us, but won't go into anymore detail.

The reason I am telling you this is simply for background information. Now here is my real question: I am on the Administrative Board at our church. We had a big discussion the other night about what steps we could take to further safeguard our children from things like this. Please understand that none of what this man did happened at the church. So my feeling is that the safeguards are already working, but we want to make sure we are doing everything we can do.

At this point, anyone who works with children in any capacity fills out an application form to start with. And then, the rule is that anytime a child is in a room, there must be two adults or more in the room with them (for S.S., VBS, Children's Church, Nursery, etc.) Never is one adult ever allowed to be alone with a child or children. We also have ushers who patrol the halls during the times that the church is open to make sure that nothing ever goes on, as well as to make sure that no one is ever able to slip in the back door and take a child aside in a room.

I'm not sure that there is much more that we can do. We are discussing the idea of doing background checks on anyone who works with our kids before they are allowed to do that. My personal feeling on that is that 1) I think it's a knee-jerk reaction to what has happened recently and 2) Even if we did background checks, it will not necessarily insure that we will keep our kids any safer. The man who is in prison right now had no prior record of any kind. And in addition to that, what about the people whose records get expunged??

So what kinds of safeguards do your churches have in place? If you do do background checks, can you share which company it is that you get them done thru?

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

We don't do full background checks, but I do check to be sure that anyone who works with our children and youth are not registered sex offenders. In reference to your statement about not keeping the kids safer if the person is unregistered, keeping the children safe is only part of the issue. To be sure it is the biggest and by far most important issue, but there is also the issue of liability in our society. Sometimes doing your due diligence serves to keep you from facing certain liability or neglect issues IMO.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

That did come up at the Board meeting, Stew. And it is a very valid point. I would like to see us do the background checks (for that reason, among others). I am not opposed to them. But I want to make sure that we are not going to do the checks and then just sit back on our hands and feel like our kids are as safe as they can possibly be. I agree with Falla when she says that it takes a parent to raise a child. But I also think that, especially in cases like this, it takes a community to safeguard our children. We ALL have to be diligent.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

I think you have good policies in place.

I wish our church had a policy of two adults with children at all times, but we are a small church and likely don't have enough volunteers.

I do think background checks are a good idea; not just for sexual crimes, but any kind of violence, child abuse, financial issues, etc. Even if the crime isn't in any way related to children, it can give you more insight into a person's character.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

Margie - sounds like you do have some good guidelines in place. :thumbsup

Our insurance carrier requires that we do background checks on all volunteers and employees. IF anything were to ever happen, you would be so thankful you had that in the file.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

We are just completing the building of a brand new church. one of the things we have done is put large 1 way windows in the classrooms for the smallest children. you can see into the class from the hallway.

the 2 person per child thing is great.

We are also reviewing a background check for SS workers. I have to have a background check to coach my son's soccer team or to do any kind of helping out at his school.

They are not hard to do and not expensive. all of it can be completed on line.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

When I was a new Youth Committee member, I had one pastor (who happened to also be MY pastor at the time) who "protected our children" through the "power of the Holy Ghost."

One particular kludge had applied to be a counselor at youth camp so that he could attend without paying the fee. My pastor signed this guy's application form and recommended him. Trouble was, as I tried to remind my pastor, this guy was a convicted child rapist (true story).

The pastor had apparently "forgotten" about this fact when he signed the form. The pastor became defensive and quite belligerent when reminded (he hated being "wrong" about anything). He hollered at me for a bit. He reminded my that HE was the pastor AND "a member of the District Board."

I gently tried to remind him that he now faced criminal charges (our state law) and huge civil liabilities.

"Don't you believe in the power of the Holy Ghost!?!" he shouted at me.

This convicted rapist had been in and out of church for years, never stable. At that particular point in time he was living with a woman (not his legal wife) who also attended our church. I pointed this out.

"Well at least it's a woman!" (The previous times the guy had "backslid" it always appeared to involve homosexuality). My pastor honestly said that in defense of this guy. Long story short, I slept in the dorms that year instead of in one of the youth committee members' cabins and missed all of the ministerial fellowships so that I could "babysit" the rapist.

"Don't you believe in the power of the Holy Ghost?"

Sad thing is, this same "pastor" was praised right across the pulpit at a recent General Conference by a certain "Brother Lumphead."

We really never manage to learn anything from our mistakes. That's why our children are in constant peril.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

- We do background checks on all workers in youth or children's departments, paid or nonpaid.
- We have a hired security guard at the kid's entrance every week.
- We have a locked-down nursery area that is only accessible with a number code and no adults are allowed past a certain door, where they hand over their children. They are given a pager and that is the only way they can get their child back.
- We have a scanner that registers our kids with a bar code system.

We have learned that in this day and age, you cannot afford to be lax in security.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

WOW, Sherri, you all have the ultimate system set up :) I'm impressed!! Very good. I imagine in a church the size of yours, you would have to be ultra-careful because of the sheer number of people who are in the building at any given time. I wish we had the money to do things this way.

Let me ask you - do you do background checks on your people who work with children? If so, who do you use?
EDIT: Ooops, I see that you do. So, who do you use??

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

I agree with background checks. Do them to prevent liability on the church. Keep it quiet though. Don't rely on them.

Also, do have some sort of a check system in place for people picking up their kids, and even for those sending their kids on the bus. How simple is it for you to drop off a bus kid whose uncle or brother or aunt is home... only to find out later that the relative wasn't supposed to be alone with the child and hurt them? As a child, I wasn't supposed to be alone with three different relatives. No one outside the family was aware of the particulars since nothing had gone to court. A release form for who bus kids can be left with and a simple sticker system for parents with kids can be extremely helpful. (Matching stickers for parent and child printed with child's name, some randomly selected word or number that matches only on their stickers, parent or responsible party's names, and any medical needs or allergies-especially for younger ones-can be both protective and life saving in an emergency.)
I would also consider talking to parents about not sending children under a certain age to the bathroom by themselves-always have a parent with a child under a certain age. Just because it's a church doesn't mean some loony couldn't walk in and either snatch a child from a bathroom or mess with them in the bathroom (if you have multiple stall restrooms, at least).
And if possible, I'd recommend restroom monitors if you have larger restrooms.

The two adult rule is wonderful. I wish my former church had done that.

If the church membership is aware of this situation, I'd also recommend having a social worker or marriage and family therapist come to discuss the signs of abuse, how to talk to children about abuse, how to prevent abuse, and what to do if they suspect abuse. One of the local colleges might be able to send a second year grad student out for free if you can't afford to hire someone for a class or series of classes.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

http://www.reducingtherisk.com/

The above link is fairly comprehensive. I teach a seminar at local churches on the topic. Sherri's list is the most comprehensive. Not practical for extremely small church. But it the part she listed does seem focused on outside threats. The kids are more likely be to molested by a worker than a stranger at church.Therefore the TWO adult rule should be paramount

For small churches, two adult rule is number one deterrent to prevent and stopping false accusation. If someone does not show at the minimum have someone patrolling making unannounced stops at the classes. As Ferd said no areas inside the room that cannot be seen from the outside. Full background checks on all helpers. Both for prevention and mitigation of liability. That is the absolute minimum.

All workers should go through an annual training such as the one offered at the website above. (I have no connection with that company)

Larger churches. In this age of custody battles just because a child sees "daddy" or "mommy" is not grounds to let them go. As Sherri church does, only the person dropping off can pick up period. REGISTER the kids. Restrict movement in kids area during services.

Also realize, no matter what precautions are taken, it will still happen.

One of the cases I was involved in was THE pastor, 5 girls over a period of 15 years. After it came to light there were some warning signs missed but nothing overt.

Have a response plan ready. Designated spokesperson etc.

Also know that in some states, like Texas, if you don't report it directly to the police or CPS (telling the pastor is NOT enough) you could be facing criminal charges yourself.

The steps for prevention and limiting liability are pretty much the same.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

Accufax, out of Oklahoma. They're fast and efficient. It's about $25 per applicant.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

Oh and definitely no adult left alone without kids - I forgot about that!

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

I agree. This sounds like a good system, and I stand behind background checks.

In the post above it was mentioned that parents should be warned about the signs of abuse, how to prevent abuse, and what to do when they suspect abuse.

Encourage parents and children to TALK about sex and things of this nature. All too often we shy away from this sort of thing in church culture. We need to be more open with our kids.

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

I really, really appreciate all of your responses. Thanks so much for taking the time to share your different methods of safeguarding the children in your churches.

MissouriMary, your idea of educating people is a great one. In fact, we have a training scheduled for tomorrow morning :) Great minds think alike, eh?

Re: How does your church safeguard your children?
 

:thumbsup