Divorce/Forgiveness
 

I'm new here, and I didn't look to see if there was already a thread about this somewhere else, so I started a new one. I hope that's ok. I'm not here to start a debate about divorce or whether it's right/wrong/or ok in circumstances, I'm simply bringing up the forgiveness factor that ties into it. I've even in an apostolic church all my life and I was recently divorced a year ago. I believe I made a mistake and was wrong in doing so, but I have since then remarried and I'm trying to start over. My current husband is a new convert to this doctrine and was raised baptist. We both attend a Pentecostal church. I have repented for the wrong I've done and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't regret what I did. I had a hard time forgiving myself and I still struggle with regret and guilt. But everytime I feel any relief someone reminds me of the wrong I did. Sad to say, but it is always someone from church. I can't even go in to wal mart without running into someone that snares their noes up at me. People who used to be good friends of mine, people in the ministry that I was close to will walk right past me and not speak, or turn and go the other way. How can I forgive myself and move foward when Im faced with this everyday?? We've all made mistakes, some a lot bigger than others. I don't want anyone to condone what I've done, I hate my sin more than anyone because I know the pain it really caused. But how can we claim to be a Christian if We are incapable of forgiveness? Isn't the blood that Jesus shed enough to cover the wrong? Has anyone else been through this, how did you deal with it?

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

My guess is that most of the people who are doing these things don't need to forgive you. You did them no wrong. They do need to show mercy and compassion.

Yes, Jesus can/will/does forgive--even huge mistakes.

I've had people turn their noses up at me. There are a few options I've found to deal with it. I can:
move away from the area.
avoid places where I might run into people with their noses in the air.
say something to them, or walk up and give them a big hug.
pray for them.
forgive them.
hold your head high and keep smiling, knowing that your salvation and forgiveness come from Jesus, not people, and thank him for those reminders.
ask Jesus to help you forgive yourself, and to take away any condemnation you feel.

They're doing what they have seen others do and what may have even been done to them at one time or another. Some turn away because they don't want to embarrass you (thinking you'd be embarrassed that you "sinned"), and others simply don't know what to do or say. Some are rude and some are just socially ignorant, but those may or may not constitute the majority of the people you bump into. Chances are that most just don't know what to say or do, so they say and do nothing at all.

Wish I could tell you more, but prayer is really the only way through it.

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

Remember the woman at the well (John 4)? she had five husbands and even the one she was living with was not her husband, yet Jesus gave her of that living water (salvation). Bro/Sis, all I can say if you have asked the Lord to forgive you of your sins, He has forgiven you. But the devil will always want to bring it up to condemn you. Whenever you feel such condemnation, recite to yourself Rom 8:1 "There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit."

Just continue to feed yourself with the word of God. Remember
Revelation 12
10And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night.
11 "And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony" We have overcome all the accusations of the enemy by the blood of Jesus Christ.

As for those who seem not to treat you fairly, just pray sincerely for them. They themselves might be having unpleasant issues in their lives. See it as an opportunity to pray for someone. Trust me, the burden will get easier. You just sincerely love them from your heart. Make effort to talk to them. Remember, we have been given the ministry of reconciliation (2 Cor 5:18).
That your conscience may be clear toward God and men (Acts 24:16 ).

Finally,don't let the enemy rub you off your joy, stay blessed in the Lord. Shout the victory.

Here's a Psalm for your comfort...

Psalm 100
1Make a joyful noise unto the LORD, all ye lands.
2Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing.
3Know ye that the LORD he is God: it is he that hath made us, and not we ourselves; we are his people, and the sheep of his pasture.
4Enter into his gates with thanksgiving, and into his courts with praise: be thankful unto him, and bless his name.
5For the LORD is good; his mercy is everlasting; and his truth endureth to all generations.

God bless ya real good!!!

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

Just what I do in simular situations I did not sin, but in the eyes of those I was raised with and shared in the minstry with, I have.

Be the true Christian, it does not matter what they think, what matters is your relationship to God, and you being true to him. In this matter I wont quote scripture I think you should know them my heart.

When I see someone I know from the church I was raised in I make it a point to address them. Showing others true Christianity.

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

sad situation your in there ,/// but youve won half the battle of admitting your wrong ,repented and starting over,,show great strength on your part ,, many would have folded under this pressure ,but you continue! keep going strong.

you cant undo it now , time will heal it to those that are truley your friend ..

moast of use cannot and in JESUS TIME ,THROW THE rock ,,,wefind oursleves short of where we want to be . pres on in JESUS NAME .. AND BE PROUD you have converted your husband sounds like.

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

Look to Jesus. Your faith is in Him and not in man.

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

I've found that this sort of behavior is endemic to churches and denominations that are performance based. Meaning, your salvation and righteousness isn't predicated upon Christ's full provision of salvation and imputed righteousness. In these circles the mistakes you've made define you as a person and because you failed to perform or live up to the expected standard of righteousness, you're on the outs. And in my experience, unless you change churches it's permanently. Even in changing churches if you begin attending another church of this flavor in the same town, word will travel around and guess what... the new church will only allow you in at arms length.

I suggest finding a radically different church that is focused on and based on grace through faith. You're in need of far more healing than you know.

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

NOW, Hey.....get in here!!!

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

iNichole....I believe in grace and it covers all and wipes it away. Now the self-conviction is the toughest to deal with. I am sorry you feel this way and I pray God reaches to you in this time of your need.

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

Some people are going to be that way. And it's got to be a tough thing to go through. But God judges your heart, and people can't do that. He is just and merciful, and always faithful. People may let you down. But Jesus always, ALWAYS, LIFTS YOU UP!!

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

Ah! That old rascal, the serpent. Oh, how he is constantly about the business of sowing discord among brethren! Yea, God's Word is true, for we read in Revelation 12:10 that Satan respects no boundaries, even coming before the very throne of God to bring accusations against His chosen: "...which accused them before our God day and night." And, not only does Satan use deceived mankind, through whom he endeavors to wreak havoc, turmoil and harm upon God's chosen, but, when and if possible, he can, and does, often use even one's brethren.

My advice (which has always served me quite well) is this: look to Jesus and His actions for an example of what our response should be when confronting such acts by others - "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34) An easy thing to do in such trying circumstances? No, yet absolutely essential!

I write from personal experience, for while not for the same reasons as those you've expressed, I've had to learn how to deal with similiar thoughtless acts of others (yes, even my brethren in the church). Patience is the key. Your reward may never be realized in this life, but it surely will in the next.

Lest I forget..... the most important 1st step is to acknowledge a mistake (that you have done), and then forgive yourself. Admittedly, the latter is often the most difficult, and this is (IMHO) the primary reason why Satan strives so much (by using others) in his efforts to misdirect our focus, placing it upon ourselves and others instead of upon God and His wondrously indescribable mercy and grace.

You shall be in my prayers.

Warmest Regards,
Lafon

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

Great Post, Bro. Lafon

Falla39

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

Thank you all so much for your replies and I apologize for not commenting back sooner. I was reading I just couldn't get back in until I found my password. I appreciate all the wisdom and it has been mighty helpful! Ive come too far to let things of that nature hinder me. I will say this though.. Something that just happened over the last few days. An older lady minister from another church who I have always looked up to and greatly admired, everytime I would see her out she wouldn't speak or acknowledge me. This really hurt my feelings because I've always thought so highly of her. Well a few weeks ago me and my husband went to a revival where she had also visited, after service she came to me and hugged my neck and said she almost didn't even recognize me since she hadn't seen me in so long. It opened my eyes a lot and Im beginning to realize that a lot of the people that I think are judging me aren't at all! The devil loves to put things in our mind to cause division. Yes, there will always be people who can't forgive me, but I've made up my mind and Im not going to let that affect me. If Jesus forgives me then why do I need others to? His is enough! :) Again, thanks to all of you!

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

If He forgives you is not the right way to look at it. ( I am aware of the point you were trying to make ). The key is knowing He WILL forgive you so it REALLY doesn't matter what others say or do.

It just so happens that the people that "hear from God" either aren't listening to Him when He says, "Yes I forgave them and so should you" or they are ignoring it. It is amazing to me how many people of God don't allow grace to work. Grace is good!

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

Dear One
You will never know how much Jesus loves you, just where you are. Although, we have all made mistakes, Christ came to seek and save that which was lost. That's you and me. If people feel that they are "too good" to associate with you, bless them and let them go, and shake the dust from your feet. Fill your life with God and HE will fill your life with wonderful supportive people. Psalm 23: "Surely goodness and mercy will follow me..."

Re: Divorce/Forgiveness
 

David was an adulter and a murder, and later he was a great prophet and psalm writer, so choose to follow the example of walking on in a pure way. Jesus is always the answer.