URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

AFF is currently recruiting for (S.P.A.M.) :poetic Spin doctors, :scripture Prooftexters and :encore Magicians. Vacancies exist for posters expressing peripheral interpretations and exceptionally ambitious exegeses on passages of the Bible. Competitive candidates will express proficiency in softwares such Prooftext Pro 3, Doctrine Creator Plus, and Houdini-Think Professional. Please send all e-registrations to admins for consideration.

These wanted ads are due to a lack of participation from S.P.A.M.s. Lately, AFF’s “inbox” has been unbalanced with honest inquiry, healthy debate, and friendly disagreement. AFF needs S.P.A.M.s to bring balance to the forum.

If AFF members will be so kind as to help me with the qualifiers…we need…

Spin doctors with spin skills so wicked, you can convince an audience to wish for Job’s suffering over Solomon’s wisdom because “the endgame is what really counts.”

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

Your creative is really underused.

Good stuff.

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

We need...

Professional prooftexters with skills so nasty, you can debate the meaning of the word "debate" written in scripture to be the moral equivalent of murder, thereby winning the debate preemptively.

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

Do I get to make a Alt account with admin permission and even debate myself to give the proper strawman scenarios?

Apocrypha/Erik Webster the well balanced moderate with a twist of lib flavor against Sophist-icated/Unknown Poster who is a fire breathing ultracon who breaks out with Bernards "Holiness a second look" with page number and reference lists?

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

And know how to call out every logical fallacy, real or real sounding as a tool to cut down the opponents points, thus never having to deal with them in the first place! Of course if you DO have to "deal with them" that won't be an issue either with the glowing hot iron prose available betwixt your fingers and the keyboard!

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

We need...

Magician ministers with scriptural sleight of hand so cunning, you can convince divinity students that Roman soldiers made the cheeks of Jesus to bleed by using tweezers, since He promoted the clean-shaven look.

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

noeticknight.... You missed something! What is the "A" in S.P."A".M stand for? The "and" won't work! There's nothing "And" can do or not do! Come on! You can do better than that!

Been Thinkin

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

Someone needs to do a mass recruitment drive from AMF then.

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

Noe - - you are very talented! Love when you post!

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

You need someone like this!

http://img.listal.com/image/1162728/...screenshot.jpg

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

We need...

Spin doctors possessing scriptural cherry picking skills so polished, your followers listen to an audio book on half of the New Testament and think its part of the Dead Sea Scrolls.

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

:heeheehee

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

Can I break out some Early Church Fathers and some serious Apocrypha like Enoch 1: Part1: The book of the Watchers?

Or do I have to stay in the protestant cannon?

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

:doh ......Apostolic?

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

Nick!

A master he was!

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

Awe ... so you need someone that is "A"postolic! Would that be an indication that there are no "Apostolics" on the Forum? Where's Dan? :laffatu Now the truth is finally coming out! olo ... oh I meant lol!

Been Thinkin

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

Your right! I think I'll leave it the way it was.

AFF is plenty Apostolic as it is. :)

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

We need…

Magician ministers so spellbindingly clever, you can persuade tithe paying saints to pay interest and late fees on their giving.

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

See if you can conscript Jeff Arnold! lol :heeheehee

Been Thinkin

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

We need…

Magician ministers so charismatic, your followers have “eternity tickets” indicating their position in line at Judgment because they think you’ll be holding their hand and speaking in proxy for them.

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

Nah....Arnold wouldn't qualify! I think he's cruisematic instead of charismatic! lol

Been Thinkin

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

We need…

Pulpit Magicians owning an arsenal of fear tactics so effective, your Christian audiences believe that the only way they’re gonna make it to heaven is to die of starvation from praying and fasting.

Re: URGENT: AFF In Need of S.P.A.M.!
 

We need…

Scriptural spin doctors so slick, your church’s study groups have actually begun to question whether Jesus Christ himself lines up to the organization’s standards.