![]() |
AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Why is it that AFF runs off almost every new member in the first few days that they are here? Something about that isn't right! We are brutal. We are barbarians. But WHY? What good does it do? And further, where in all of this is the love and understanding that so many of us believe in?
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
I must miss out on these conversations. I didn't know anyone left.
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Who?
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Forum life is an adjustment for many and some have difficulty tolerating diverse views. That being said, I hope we do not needlessly offend anyone at Apostolic Friends Forum. I can honestly say, I love all who post here and would enjoy breaking bread with all in real life.
New members are always welcome, and we should eagerly embrace our new friends. |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
While you and maybe some others don't ever overly offend I think that many do. Myself included sometimes. And I agree that AFF should be a place where we embrace new members as friends... or at least potential friends... ;) Anyways when a new member is offended we criticize them of not being tough enough to be here. It's like they are expected to be able to stand in the ring with us AFF heavyweights and trade blows and if they can't there must be something wrong with them. Well I think that some of us here may be a little too battle hardened sometimes. I think a little more understanding toward the new members would go a long way. |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
I hate to sound like I'm harping, but in your original statement, you said "almost EVERY new member"....and that's a mighty broad brush.....and I must have missed it, I wasn't aware of anyone even leaving temporarily..... |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Let me first agree with Hoovies post which you are replying to here. Many are new to online forums and it is a brand new world of open thought and discussion. Heretofore they have been accustomed to a world where their belief systems come from one man behind a pulpit and he is right in all he says. It is a small and well confined world of... Well that's just how it is. This world of open discussion versus "Wow... that was great pastor" can be a bit disconcerting at first. But it is a blessing in the end.
Quote:
This is so very true. There is a skill to presenting ones view with respect to the person with whom we are discussing these things. There are some who are abrasive in the way they present their ideas and I have a feeling that this isn't very different from the way they might communicate face to face when discussing opposing views. Quote:
But in this forum something not meant to be offensive can be read that way because all I can offer are typed words but these words are delivered in is up to the reader to apply. This calls upon us to be wordsmiths more and more so that we not only say what we want to say but we also word it in a manner that the attitude in which it is delivered is well expressed and not open as much to interpretation. For instance... one small thing. I use the term "one" rather than "you". Using the term "you" can be read many ways and can be taken as a personal affront. Use of the term "one" removes the possible personal attack that can be assumed by the reader. It's a learned skill... should one desire to pursue it. Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
If we are really running people off, and there are examples, then we need to examine how we're communicating, reach out to the folks that have been offended, try to make it right. It's tough to do that if there are no specific examples. Just my opinion. |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
I wanted to add that I said "always run off" because that's how it's seemed to me. I can't think of many new members since I've been here that have stayed. |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
It has always struck me how many new people post in the welcome mat section and then you never hear from them again. Anyone else notice that?
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
So you've noticed alot of new member vanishing. Thanks for the support. Though I would love to ask, how did you deal with the less than understanding comments you received here early on (and probably even some now)? Did you almost leave? Or did you luckily find just enough support to stay? Or was there something else? (By the way Azzan's situation is somewhat unique in the details so I understand it isn't proof of what I am saying, however I think it parallels other situations pretty closely.) |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Well, the only person I haven't seen post in several days is Old Paths II. If you're worried about where he/she has gone to, okay. No prob, although I will say it's been rather quiet since his/her posts have taken the back seat...
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
Some sign up so they can see all the forums. If you aren't signed in as a member you can't read the Debate area. So, I think it's incorrect to assume "they are gone". |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
There have been a few on here who have reached out to me and I am grateful for that. And there has been some real soul searching discussions with one in particular. I'll be honest and say that I don't feel all warm and fuzzy here most of the time. I think many of us are not aware of just how many different ways written words can be taken without having access to tone of voice, body language and facial expressions. |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
I am trying to remember if I jumped right in, or lurked before joining in on the discussions. I do remember being very shocked at some things that were posted. But I also found that most of the people loved each other. Yeah, there were some little cliques, :heeheehee. And some rudeness, just like a family. AFF has something for everyone, I think. And sometimes you get out of it what you put into it. I don't think we run people off, as much as some decide just to not participate.
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
Do you want us to change our minds to agree with you that people are run off? Do you want us to change our minds to do something so that members aren't "run off"? |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
Let me elaborate on that just a little. I don't think admins have to be any more involved. I'm not complaining about that. I think they do a great job even though sometimes I don't understand why they do some of the things they do. I think we as individual posters need to be aware and more careful in our attitudes toward new posters. But as long as no one believes there's a problem then no one's going to change anything about their approach toward new posters. |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
When they finally posts, it's for a reason usually and sometimes they come in with both guns blazing - so it works both ways. |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
there are natural reactions... they leave in a huff.... but if they are tuff enough to survive the onslaught, they (like you) become on of us. Consider it similar to getting jumped into a gang. |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
I guess I would want to know why they felt they couldn't post here. If they have a problem with one person, I don't think we can really help in that kind of situation. But let's face it, not everyone is sweet and kind. I try to be kind to everyone, and have fun. To be honest with you, there were times I felt like it would be best if I left. But I don't put my whole life out on this forum. And sometimes it's a refuge. |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
I think The Mrs said that she read a long time before ever commenting at FCF. Look at her now, she is part owner of this forum. I remember a particular person at FCF who kept taking little digs at me in order to run me off. It didn't work. I'm still here. And it's just because I want to be and that person wasn't going to change it for me. So, I don't think it is always a matter of running someone off. Some people decide it's not their cup of tea. However, I have seen some come in, with guns blazing, and pretty much run themselves off. I'm still trying to decide if OldPathsII was a pseudo poster, but if not, he/she would be a perfect example of running themselves out of town. LOL! |
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
Re: AFF and New Members...it's sad!
Quote:
|
| All times are GMT -6. The time now is 06:24 AM. |
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2026, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.