False Confession
 

What should parents do if their child confessed to something he did not do to avoid worse punishment for "lying" because of their strict policy on honesty?

Example, you asked your child if he did something wrong and he says "Yes, I did" because he was fearful you would not believe him if he said "No, I didn't" and get even worse punishment for what you think is "lying" because you told him he would get him into even more trouble if you thought he lied. Then you later found out your child did nothing wrong.

Re: False Confession
 

Like real adult life, i think there needs to be some evidence before meting out punishment.

Re: False Confession
 

Re: False Confession
 

How old is the child?

Re: False Confession
 

I have done that too... But usually would have talk about "how we can keep this from happening again - since we both know this is unacceptable... " Sounds noble anyway! Lol

Re: False Confession
 

And nothing wrong with being noble, lol. :thumbsup

With three girls, (as Im sure you know with multiple children) its not always easy to decern which one may have been the culprit. And your sure not going to get a straight answer, lol. And they make pacts with one another, the youngest is usually the informer of the group, she will inform me of which of the other two may have done it. Now as the youngest has gotten older and mischievous herself the other two have dirt on her that allows them a new immunity from her.

Re: False Confession
 

probably whoop their bottum, or ground them. either or.

we do lesser punishment for being honest, it doesnt matter how the lie comes it is still a lie.

my daughter has a bad habbit of this and i come down on her hard for it cause she is a repeat offender.

Re: False Confession
 

What if she didn't think you would believe her if she told the truth and thought you would punish her any way? A case where she is doomed if she does and doomed if she doesn't.

Re: False Confession
 

How old is she, and is this the first offense?

If she is 12 or over, explain to her once trust is broken it is hard to earn back. And a lie has consequences, whatever her reason was.

Re: False Confession
 

raising children can get so complicated....

Re: False Confession
 

an hindsight is sometimes what haunts us..

Re: False Confession
 

The same can be true of parents. Hypothetical example below (can happen):

You caught your son lying and punish him severely for it, but he recently was in the car with you when you tried to weasel out of a traffic ticket, or during his punishment the phone rings and your daughter answers it and you tell her to tell the caller you are out shopping because you don't want to talk, and your son was present.

What kind of impact will this have on the son?

Re: False Confession
 

A lie is a lie. It impacts the liar and the person that is lied to.

Re: False Confession
 

sounds to me like a parent in need of a re-evaluation in parenting....


lines of communication and trust and a whole host of other things seem to be askew.

However the areas of parenting that are hardest are consistancy without forcing false consistancy and the rules remaining the same for kids and adults (like lying that you arent home when someone calls) while at the same time recognizing that the rules for kids and adults are different because of a host of things.... like adults can drink coffee and kids shouldnt, or kids go to bed early or any number of things that happen in real life.

these are delicate things to balance.

Re: False Confession
 

It will teach their son it is okay to lie. And if they punish him for lying, they are hypocrites.

Re: False Confession
 

I agree totally.