The Husband Of One Wife
 

Case In Point:

A Pastors wife falls away. She has an affair with multiple men. She divorces her husband. He is faithful to Christ remarries a few years later.

Is he the husband of one wife?

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

1 Cor 7:15
Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Yes...the affair and divorce annuls the previous marriage

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

How was he when God called him? Does God know all things present tense? Paul said whatever state your in when God chose you to remain in that state?
Is the church more perfect than the pastor? and it goes on.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Yes.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

A Pastor falls away, and has trysts with multiple women while pastoring. His wife divorces him. He repents and settles with his favorite woman and marries her.

Is he the husband of one wife?

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Yes.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

NO!

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Yes. The key word here is "repents". All things are new after repentance. We tend to only like that concept when mercy is being applied on OUR behalf, but God is not petty and He readily dispenses forgiveness even to those whom we tend to view cynically.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Kcleejc,

Bearing in mind that in Hoovie's hypothetical scenario the sinful pastor later repents is it your position that God does not forgive adultery?

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Yes.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Yes.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

OK,...(just thinking here,..) so to those who answered "yes"....
does that mean that everything is back to being "peachy-keen",..and he gets to carry on with his life and his ministry as before? (food for thought here,...)...what's your take on this?

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

This is one of the many places the bible teaching is explained away.

Mar 10:11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

Point blank. Period. End of story.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

1) If the wife stays, He has a right to Divorce.
A) He is the Husband of one wife.
2) If he strays, he has not right to Divorce. That is given to the wife.
A) He has sinned and should be restored if repentance and open confession has been made.

The "husband of one wife" is not referring to marriage and divorce, but about the common practice in ancient times of one man taking multiple wives.

What an organization does about requirements for Marriage and Divorce of pastors, is in itself, just a higher standard set upon ministers. (I see where this thread was going.)

All in all, Jesus said that if you divorce, you do not have the spirit of forgiveness; thus you are just as an adulterer yourself. Why, because divorce was given in the Law of Moses out of the hardness of mans heart.

There are a few pastors in the UPC that have been divorced (wives left them) that have never remarried. There are some that have remarried. This discretion was given to the superintendent of that district; not the organization as a whole. Every Man of God should have a "pastor" that they go to in time of need.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

He repents and settles with his favorite gal? If he repented he'd still be with his wife.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

..but things get complicated! The wife (having had the right to divorce)...moves on. She doesn't want him back (trust has been totally broken). Or, perhaps she felt she was the one who had the right to remarry, and did so. So just as in real life,...things become horribly complicated and sticky. What was that saying?...."You can't un-scramble an egg"?

EDIT: Perhaps it could be like the situation of a particular well-known televangelist of some years ago. After affairs became known,..wife leaves and gets divorce. Afterwards (after he serves his prison term for tax evasion)..he re-marries and re-establishes a new ministry. Has a fairly modest, but good following of his "new" TV ministry.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Unbelieveable some of the stuff on here:icecream

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

None of that was a part of the scenario.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

So, the one and only qualification to be in leadership and ministry is repentance?

Husband of one wife? Means only one at a time...

Pastor turns serial killer? No problem - if repented.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

I know, I gotta get my mail order doctorate and get into that field.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Yep, but what if she runs off? He didn't put her away.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Apparently you can do ANY and EVERYTHING and remain pastor, apostle, and prophet!

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

As far as I know, the bible doesnt say that "shepherds" are to be restored to their shepherding, after they break the requirements to have that position, be it by shackin up with prostitutes like Swaggert, or say child molestation of teen girls, murder or whatever....(ohhhh, if a brother be overtaken....-yeah right)


well....as long as they stop (settle down with only one new wife) and if they do it again, as long as they stop the next time....:nah


I guess if folks have That low of expectAtions for their leaders, more power to them...

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

And if they repent, yet "fall" again(and again and again)ye which are spiritual restore them (back to being a pastor) in a spirit if meekness (70 X 7 if that's what it takes cause that's scripture!) considering thyself could stumble....

:nah


Forgiveness does not always equal restoration of ministry



(Tho maybe I've gotten a little off topic ? :) )

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Actually it does mean just that, IF, the one needing forgiveness also has the money and power to grant himself restoration.

For example, if Bishop Eddie Long were on a team of Elders of a smallish church with no money... think he would still be the leader of New Birth Missionary Baptist Church?

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

I don't think any single person here questions whether one who falls can be restored to Christ.

The context of I Tim 3 is Bishops, Elders and Deacons.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Our record begins with our new birth. ALL prior sins are washed away or remitted we are new creatures. However since being in the church the qualifications are clear for bishops-elders-deacons only one marriage is allowed unless the companion dies. For man to marry a divorced woman then he disqualifies himself.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Mat 19:9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery."

Mat 5:32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery. And whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.

Jesus also told the healed lepper to show himself to the priest. Given that Christ explained this teaching in response to the Pharisee's question regarding the law, I believe this is pre-cross and isn't binding today. Paul demonstrates that this isn't a hard rule with the Pauline privilege to remarry under abandonment by a non believer.

And if remarriage is adultery in any way under grace, it's not unforgivable. I'd say it might disqualify from pulpit ministry though.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

You are losing me now... The teachings of Jesus were pre-cross and therefore not applicable? I have never heard such.

Also, Paul says this concerning remarriage:

"10 To the married I give this command (not I, but the Lord): A wife must not separate from her husband. 11 But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. And a husband must not divorce his wife."

True, that's why many believe divorce and remarriage is always a sin. As a general rule to please all interpretations, I believe churches shouldn't perform remarriages unless it's for the widowed. I also believe unless one were widowed they should be disqualified from pulpit ministry.

Some things Jesus taught were under the law, according to the law. Christ wouldn't have permitted Pauline privilege per the law.

Those abandoned by an unbeliever may remarry only under the covenant of grace.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

Don't add to the bible because you need an outlet. :foottap They are given license to divorce, not a second marriage license.

Then a second marriage would be sin. However, not an unforgivable one. I'm a divorcee, and odds are I'll remarry. Just being honest. If it's a sin to do so, I pray God knows my heart... and forgives me.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

The bible never forbids a divorced person, divorced under the conditions set by Jesus, from remarrying

The interpretation I heard most among brethren is that Jesus NEVER endorses remarriage. The use of "fornication" (sexual immorality) and not "adultery" indicates immorality during betrothal (as binding as marriage according Jewish custom; refer to Joseph's desire to "put away" Mary upon knowledge of pregnancy). This also explains why the "immorality clause" isn't found in the synoptics. Therefore I believe it's best to say that all divorce and remarriages are "sin", and have couples in second marriages fall on the grace of God.

This accomplishes upholding the sanctity of marriage, keeps the church free from having to determine guilt when divorce is rarely so cut and dry, and prevents having to go through theological gymnastics to justify remarriage. I'd sit a minister down for at least a year, if not disqualify them from pulpit ministry.

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

What do YOU think?

Re: The Husband Of One Wife
 

I believe that Christ's point is that a second marriage adulterates the first marriage, thus those who divorce and remarry are adulterers. I do believe that God recognizes subsequent marriages. I believe this because Jesus acknowledged to the woman at the well that He knew that she had had "five husbands" in comparison to the man she was currently living with at the time. I can understand a pastor choosing not to unite divorced individuals in holy matrimony. I can also understand sitting a minister who remarries down for a period... if not disqualifying him indefinitely. I do believe that God can forgive those who remarry and sanctify their second marriage as a standing covenant. Personally, if I were a pastor I'd not perform weddings for those who had been divorced (keep in mind, I'm a divorcee so this would include me). I'd counsel those wishing to remarry and help them to find peace and the grace and peace of God but not perform a public wedding. I would suggest that they marry through the court, but recognize them as husband and wife from the pulpit for the sake of the congregation. I'd not allow the couple on the platform or to work in visible service for at least a year, as a general rule. They'd be aware of this policy from our counseling secessions, it wouldn't be a surprise. I'd be sure to have emphasized in counseling that this isn't so much as a "penalty" as it is a hedge of protection that allows them to focus on their new union without being highly visible among the saints.

The reason why I think it best for the church never to fully endorse second marriages is to avoid trying to determine who is "at fault" for the divorce. I've seen couples lie and get outright NASTY against their ex to justify a remarriage. I think it best to keep the church out of the mess. Whoever was "at fault" for the divorce isn't as important as healing and restoring those who have suffered from the pain of the divorce. Also, it is a very rare occasion wherein only one person is truly at fault. I've know of individuals who tried to pressure their spouses to be intimate with another another just be justified in their future plans to leave them. Thus you can't entirely place the blame on the spouse who "actively" engaged in immorality. I know of people who separated because a spouse abandoned them and the abandoned one was told by the church to not to file for divorce. The abandoning spouse didn't file either. As the "separation" lingered on for two or more years the spouse that was originally abandoned becomes lonely and falls into sin. Then the abandoning spouse comes back with a vengence and files for divorce on the grounds of adultery. Clearly, in this case, you can't place all of the blame on one of them. To keep the church out of the middle and out of all the DIRT that takes place in a divorce, I think it's best that the church not focus on who was at fault. But rather acknowledge that divorce and remarriage isn't God's perfect will, and thus it is sin in all circumstances regardless as to who was at fault. Then focus on healing the people involved by having them find the grace of God, address some of the issues they faced with their divorce if they are willing to counsel on them, and then allow them to remarry in a more private setting or through the courts.

This also keeps the church from having to jump through theological hoops to justify remarriage in a situation that the Scriptures do not address. For example, if a woman was brutalized repeatedly by her husband until she had to divorce him to protect herself and her children. Who would fault her for divorcing? Who would fault her for desiring to remarry another at some point? Some churches then jump through the theological hoop of saying that "fornication" breaks the marriage covenant.... therefore any behavior that breaks the marriage covenant to "love, honor, and cherish" justifies remarriage. While I see their point, I think it's speaking where Scripture is silent. All Scripture addresses is "putting away" on the grounds of "fornication". So I believe my position protects the church from having to wrest the Scriptures to justify remarriage for an obviously abused party wherein divorce was on grounds other than sexual unfaithfulness.

It allows for equal healing and restoration to all involved.

And it upholds the sanctity of marriage, identifying Jewish betrothal customs and why Christ uses the word "fornication" and not "adultery". In addition it answers why the "fornication" clause isn't found in Mark or Luke.

Mark 10:11
And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.

Mark 10:12
And if a woman shall put away her husband, and be married to another, she committeth adultery.

Luke 16:18
Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery.

Notice, no exception clause. Notice Matthew's exception clause:

Matthew 5:32
But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.

Matthew 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

I believe that Matthew is speaking of unfaithfulness during betrothal (fornication), not after the wedding. Notice a case in point mentioned by Matthew himself:

Matthew 1:18-19
18Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost.
19Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily.

Notice they were engaged. Notice that they had not be united in marriage as of yet. Notice that Joseph suspected her to be guilty of "fornication". Notice also that Joseph had to prepare for a formal "putting away" to break the engagement. I believe that this is what the exception clause in Matthew is addressing. Not actual "adultery".