dances/prom??
 

How do you that believe school type dances are wrong handle kids wanting to to prom?

Re: dances/prom??
 

easy, NO!

Re: dances/prom??
 

I'm not following you, sorry

Re: dances/prom??
 

It helps to add two commas and the words 'go to the' to the question.

How do you, that believe school type dances are wrong, handle kids wanting to go to the prom?

Re: dances/prom??
 

teenage years are tough, God bless all who are raising teenagers

Re: dances/prom??
 

If it were my daughter I would say yes, but it would depend on the person she was at the time. If she were very timid then I would insist she go. If she were the life of the party, but a good girl ok. But if she was already a bad girl then IDK. I guess we will see in 12 years.

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Prom is ok. It's the after parties that get the youth into trouble.

Re: dances/prom??
 

Your right. Not greatest at typing and posted this on my phone which doesn't help. Thanks for making it more clear.

Re: dances/prom??
 

What about the dancing to worldly music aspect of it?

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What's wrong with dancing? I'm sure you know how sensual it usually is when done with worldly music. I'm not saying all dancing is wrong but it our culture 9.9 out of 10 times a sensual event.

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Well as long as they are dancing to Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art or The Old Rugged Cross at the prom it would probably be okay!! Just Kidding. :heeheehee

Been Thinkin

Re: dances/prom??
 

You should see my posts before I edit them 2 or 3 times -and usually don't catch it all. LOL

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will there be a prom queen that is a dude? Will there be dirty dancing?

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Bella you think kids should make all their own decisions, like whether to go to school or not, whether to go to the Doctors or not?

Re: dances/prom??
 

You should be calmly talking to your child, telling them how you feel, asking them what they think about it and how they perceive it. Do they see the possibility that it can be a very sensual act? are they dating, what is their relationship with the person they are dating?

In the long run, once a young person is 16+ they are past the age that you can legislate standards for them. You can talk about it, you can ask them to talk about it, you can pray about it, ask them to pray about it, but after a certain age you are not going to be able to control what they do when you are not with them. And if you harshly enforce standards, the backlash could get ugly.

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In our case we can choose to let them go to Homeschool group proms or not. Some have dancing but pretty much all have godly decorum.

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I went to my first prom when I was 22 -my date was 19 and a senior. Had far more fun then had I gone when I was in high school.

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Most parents don't know that their children listen and dance to worldly music when they aren't around anyway.

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Yeah, this is sound advice. By the time most kids are going to prom, they are 18 or 19-years-old. I know of at least one young lady who was tired of being told what to do or not to do. She left home as soon as she hit 18-years-old and got pregnant. She did get married later.

In fact, I am grieved that the whole family broke apart. The husband left the wife, the son also has a baby out of wedlock.

These were people who went to church every time the doors opened for 26 years before the family broke apart.

Standards cannot be forced upon people. They must have conviction in their heart to do or not to do something.

Re: dances/prom??
 

I've got teen daughters yes I need help.It is tough.

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Brother Scott, just keep encouraging them to live for God and be that example. I went through the teen years with two boys. What helped them a good bit is that their father did things with them.

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I didn't think refraining from dancing all over each other like your having sex standing up was an article of standards. I always thought it was just good christian common sense.

11 For the grace of God that brings salvation has appeared to all men, 12 teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in the present age,

Re: dances/prom??
 

Yes, THAT may be just plain good old fashioned Christian common sense but I was always taught simply that "Pentecostals don't dance!", among dozens of other things. And then of course the arguments quickly became circular such as "....and we don't go to those places because people dance there!" followed by "and we don't dance because people dance in those places!".

Re: dances/prom??
 

At this time my thoughts are... I'd let my kids go to prom if they had proven themselves to be decent and trust worthy kids. It's hard to realize that at about the time of Prom, they are "young adults". For many in the public schools Prom is a very important mile stone in an adolescent's social life. It's almost akin to a tribal "coming of age" ritual. However, these are things that require us as parents to sit down and talk to our sons and daughters about the difficult subjects of self respect, respect for others, limits, and sex. I'd set a reasonable curfew and I'd want them to be able to be reached (by cell phone). I'd also really like to have the cell phone numbers of at least two friends who were going as backup methods of reaching them. I'd want to be reasonable with the outfits worn.

Will they "push the limits" while dancing?... Most likely. But they have to discover themselves and be given room to fly. And sometimes that means giving them room to stumble and learn lessons that only life itself can teach them. Social events like these often allow our kids to learn certain social skills in a relatively controlled environment (not as controlled as I'd prefer sometimes). I've seen kids who were heavily sheltered get out in the big bad world and totally spin out seeking to make up for lost time in the clubs etc. I think allowing them to realize what living in this world is like a little bit at a time is better than sheltering them and throwing them right out into it when they are entirely on their own. I have full faith that the Lord would convict them from going too far with regards to any situation.

Also... I'd have a "debriefing". I'd strive to respectfully have them share what the night was like, allowing them to keep anything private that they wished to keep private. I'd also let them know that I am here... and that I love them. And if something happened that they'd like to talk about, they need not have any fear of anger or retribution. But rather as a loving parent I'd seek to help them understand and evaluate their choices that night. During such an exchange... I might even share some things I've experienced in my years, if it helps to break the ice. I'd certainly not approach it like an interrogation. And if they didn't want to talk about... I'd have to accept that that is their choice. And I'd... pray. I think when dealing with our kids we have to take an approach that loves the child... even if we don't agree with all the choices they make (kind of like love the sinner, hate the sin).

Of course... a young adult's history must be considered. If a young person's history demonstrates serious lack of respect for authority, rebellion, and unhealthy behaviors... I'd consider not allowing them to attend.

Re: dances/prom??
 

Being a parent is far more than saying “No.” to all perceived dangers and locking our kids up in tower from all harm.

A parent must teach and demonstrate how to take a stand, how to lovingly compromise, how to fall with grace, how to ask for forgiveness, how to work out complications, how to accept fault, and how to get back up again without shame.

Being a parent is very difficult and complicated. You almost have to introduce the world in small enough doses to create life lessons out of those moments. All too often I’ve seen sheltered kids take in the full force of the world when they leave home… and most of those I’ve seen haven’t been able to handle it. The vast majority totally washed out and became strung out, bitter about church, their parents, and even God Himself. Yet, on the other hand I’ve seen kids who were given far more freedom to mess up (and often did) learn from their mistakes under the wing of their loving parents. These appear more well rounded, realistic, balanced, and even faithful to the things of the Christian faith.

But… that’s just my experience. Others might have a different experience.

Re: dances/prom??
 

:thumbsup

While one of my son's will not lie to me, he's taken to not answering any question that he doesn't want to answer. It's not often, but from time to time, he will just walk away from me. He is in his mid 20s now and feels that he does not need the 20,000 question. I just automatically know that if he answers it, I'm not going to like it.

I also know that if anything is too big for him to handle, he will come to us. So, a few secrets are not all that bad...they eventually come out anyway.

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This reminds me of a book I read where the man believed in giving kids freedom to fail while still under his influence to help vs getting first dose of freedom when out the house with no freedom experience.

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I think freedom scares us parents.

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If you've done your job as a good parent, it should be less frightening.

Re: dances/prom??
 

Having no children I may not appear qualified to answer this, but in all of my studying, I have never found a single instance where social dancing was a good thing. It has always had the attendant problems of sensuality and sexuality. At the end of the 19th century, the dance styles were described as seductive, sensual, and leading to a moral decline. At the end of the 20th century, it was noted that more often than not dancing looked like a simulated sexual orgy. Further, it can be seen that eventually dancing leads to tighter and more revealing clothing as the physical closeness sets hormones raging that can lead in only one direction. When mixed with an abundance of alcohol (do not tell me that it does not), this leads to the reality that all know but few admit, much of the sexual activity in a young person's life will occur after a dance, and especially after the prom.

I have heard from many people and seen a number of articles stating that a large number of young women and girls will get pregnant at these events so that they can snare the boy and have him tied to her for the rest of his life, no matter if he eventually marries someone else.

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Uh...., Someone is going to have to convince me that sexual activity is higher among Christian young people who dance, than it is among Christian young people who do not.

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I would say that the bar is now so low that anyone who claims to be 'Christian' gets counted, and most have not actually had any more than the briefest brush with Christ. Therefore, most of these probably in no way actually meet the minimum standard that used to be considered 'Christian' 60 years ago.

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there is a minimum standard, Lord help us all.

Re: dances/prom??
 

????

Re: dances/prom??
 

In North Mississippi, there are many girls "in the church" who get pregnant, have their babies, then plan their wedding for a later date. It seems to be an accepted thing here. Unless they went behind their parent's back to "dance" I don't know of any of them who went to dancing parties.

I say nothing....because:

1. Some of them are Preacher's kids, grandkids etc.
2. I will be trashed as a backslider and anything I had to say would be picked apart apart and attacked ... because of my "status".
3. Them Preachers owe many a woman a bonafide and sincere apology for the way those women were treated by the church people simply because they cut their hair or wore pants. The PKs get by and one preacher said [paraphrased] after about three months...forgive and forget..she's been punished enough.


One preacher's grandkid had a whole big wedding months after the baby was born. White dress, reception and vows before God.

After saying all of that, what I am about to say will seems like a turnabout. My point being that women before this generation of children would have been buried under the foundation of the church had they gotten pregnant out of government legal wedlock. I want to say this. They had sex, a baby and stayed together. In the eyes of God, they were married when they first joined themselves together. Issac and Rebecca "married" that way. She saw Issac, he saw her and he took her to into his mother's tent and made her his wife. It should have been applied equally to all and not just start when the PK's started engaging in this practice.

Genesis 24:63 And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming.
64 And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel.
65 For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself.
66 And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done.
67 And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.


The only reason people have to have a "license" in a free country is so that the government can keep track of who is with who, how many children the couple has, what their names are, and the babies are assigned a SS# sometimes while still in the hospital. We are also tracked via SS #'s, among other things. People have decided that the government makes something mandatory to be recognized as "married" instead of what the Bible says.

Re: dances/prom??
 

But... What if your parents MET at the senior prom? What if them not meeting resulted in you never existing?

Some things to consider!

Re: dances/prom??
 

The local OP church offers a "Prom" alternative. Kids get dressed up. Dates are invited. A nice dinner and then music and some funny entertainment is followed by a (hopefully) encouraging word.

Kids need to interact with one another in social environments in order to learn how to develop maturity and poise. Frankly, no matter what you think of the High School dance, a good church-style gathering where no one is ostracized or a social outcast would do most kids a world of good.