Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Is anyone else disturbed by the cover of TIME as much as I am? And even MORE disturbing is the fact that there are probably plenty of apostolic (and conservative in general) women who find it perfectly natural.


Did Time go too far with breast-feeding cover image?

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/entertainment...#ixzz1uXMNEMpu

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

I totally support breastfeeding but this is just tacky.

I nursed my youngest until 20 months when she self weaned.

If you follow that premise and the child is older.....ok, just not appropriate on the cover of a national magazine. :foottap

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

When we told friends that we were trying to discover a way to wean our youngest (a year ago) my friend said "I don't know, but if you figure it out please don't tell mom"!

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Many of those who DO feel it is appropriate to nurse until their kid can walk and talk (and will remember nursing as an adult) think it is just fine to be 'in your face' about it.

If you read the article, as well as a few links to others contained within on the subject you will see women who are totally happy (and no doubt getting their pedophile kicks) nursing their 6 and 7 year olds. The public message boards on some of these stories are truly scary.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

[quote=RandyWayne;1161027]Is anyone else disturbed by the cover of TIME as much as I am? And even MORE disturbing is the fact that there are probably plenty of apostolic (and conservative in general) women who find it perfectly natural.

Yes the cover is disturbing, as is the idea to breast feed for years into childhood.

I think the last sentence is a bit of a stretch. imo.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

[QUOTE=scotty;1161036]OK, I did use the word "plenty" which may be technically correct in absolute terms although I am sure it is still a small minority of all.

And the type who are so militant about this really fall into two VERY different categories ranging from UC's in the church to militant feminists who still believe it is a "right" that needs to be fought for.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

I have read in a few foreign countries this is normal. But, because they don't have access to formula and other nutritious products. And I don't think it has anything to do with nutrition for American women to do this. Unless you are in poverty maybe.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Well, I CAN Photoshop a poof in, as well as a jean skirt. I might as well remove any TRACE of "paint" on her face as well.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

My biggest problem with the photo is the pose. I am wondering if they are models. And if they are, what parent lets their child pose like this with someone else. If that is really mother and child, the pose is just the wrong way to get a message across to me.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

When my sister and brother-in-law were expecting their first he told me that he learned in one of their classes that the average age, world wide, that kids are "nursed to" was somewhere between 4 and 5 years. He had the same reaction to that stat that I did by looking at the TIME cover. LOL

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

I think it's hilarious that this photo is so shocking to a culture which loves pornography and scantily clad women--but then, the objectification of women and their breasts as sex objects is partly responsible for the shock.

I'm not really convinced of the need or appropriate nature of long-term breastfeeding (meaning: past the toddler years). However, in my experience, Apostolic women are LESS likely to nurse their babies for a long time, and conservatism has nothing to do with breastfeeding. In fact, it's usually the more liberal, crunchy-granola types who support this.

I DO support breastfeeding at LEAST until they're 1, and until 2 or 3 is even better if you can do it. It's healthier for the child.

I absolutely do NOT believe this has anything to do with pedophilic urges on the part of the Mother and I find that suggestion to be morally reprehensible and ludicrous. There is a push against our western culture which has objectified the female breast as being purely for sexual pleasure when in fact God created female breasts to feed babies. They are a practical addition to our bodies. He didn't create them for male enjoyment, although I'm sure that's a side benefit. They were created for nourishing children.

There are men who are even jealous of their babies nursing for various reasons and I find that to be sickening indeed. While I personally support a more modest approach, I also am disheartened at the over-sexualization of this very normal mother-child act and bond, and part of me thinks that it shouldn't be all that shocking for a woman to nurse her child in public. Oddly enough, I've heard stories of how public nursing was more common back in my Grandmother's time. It seems that more recent European culture has made this taboo--and I find that appalling.

We have Burmese people in our church community, and when we go to their homes, it's quite common to see a mother walking around with a 2 year old tied into a sling around her shoulder, nursing with no coverage. THEIR men don't blink an eyeball or stare or even act uncomfortable. That tells me that it's the American (or western) mindset that is the problem; not public nursing of children.

As for nursing older children: That's a gray territory which medical science hasn't explored extensively enough for me to have a good opinion. Although I think it's completely unnecessary, I'm not convinced it's particularly psychologically damaging unless it continues into the pre-pubescent stage (9 or 10+) or past the child's comfort level, e.g., the child has tried to self-wean and the mother is preventing that from happening. I find it comical, weird and inappropriate, but I would have to see scientific data before I would call it abusive or damaging.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Not models. The mother and son were on morning news shows.

Time magazine, along with most newspapers and print magazines are hemorrhaging due to the new media. They have to try to get people to even look at their magazines let alone buy them.

It's shock journalism.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

I agree. The TIME picture doesn't help nursing mothers as a community; it hinders them. Instead of presenting a more normal, nurturing picture, they've put up something at the controversial fringe of the breastfeeding culture and polarized the debate.

It's unfortunate, at the very least. However, it's important to not allow that picture to cause an unnecessarily extreme reaction toward breastfeeding (including public) as a whole. TIME was being shocking on purpose. Most nursing mothers aren't shocking at all. They're just feeding their babies.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Huh? What does my church have to do with any of my comments? :blink

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

I thought you were talking about the men in your church.


Like some forums.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

No, not at all. :)

Funny how people associate these ideas with conservative church culture. In my experience, church people have been more likely to see this as taboo and make [IMO, unhealthy] choices to formula-feed because they feel breastfeeding is inappropriate or distasteful. I've NEVER known a conservative Apostolic woman who breastfeed past the age of 3 or 4 [max].

When we lived in Louisiana, I was surprised at the number of Apostolic women who didn't even consider natural birthing methods or breastfeeding. It was pain meds and formula-fed all the way. I'm not knocking it necessarily, because sometimes those choices are necessary, but the latter in particular is not the best choice for a baby. Sometimes necessary or preferable, but definitely the inferior choice from a purely nutritional perspective.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

But you've known liberal women who have? And you've known conservative apostolic woman who nurse UNTIL 3 and 4? You do realize that (many) adults have memories during those years. I can't imagine having a memory of actualy nursing (I was -until about 10 months, so no issues here)...... argh.

And I have NO issues with breast feeding -it IS the healthiest thing to do for a new born and young toddler. I have no revulsion's when I see it in public (other than when the militant types try to be as in-your-face as possible), but when a kid can walk, talk, and run, and even eat a Happy Meal at McDee's and is still nursing, then we have some serious issues.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Yes, I personally know several more religiously liberal women (as well as politically liberal) women who breastfed longer. There are many, MANY women on the homeschool forum at which I'm a member who breastfeed longterm, and like I said, most are the crunchy granola types--leaning toward all things natural. When it comes to child-rearing, I lean that way, too. I'm still only talking about the age of 3 or so, though. I haven't personally known ANY women who breastfed past the age of 4--including every Apostolic woman I've ever known, and that is a considerable number of women. Like I said, I've only known a few Apostolic women who have nursed that long--most nurse for a year or less, in my observation. The exception would be Apostolic women from other cultures, in which longterm nursing is more common and acceptable. (Still only talking about young toddlers, though.)

Why are you so bothered by a child potentially having memories of nursing? I'm not sure how that could be damaging in any way.

From a scientific standpoint, our cultural objections are absolutely silly. Look at the animal kingdom--chimp babies nurse for up to 5 years. I don't know of anyone who gets embarrassed watching an animal baby nurse, (in fact, my oldest daughter got up close and personal video of a new calf nursing in our field) but yet people are so embarrassed by a human infant nursing. Physiologically, it's the same process and our bodies are created for the same purpose--producing, nourishing and nurturing infants. The embarrassment, discomfort and claims of psychological damage are completely imposed by western culture. I'm not aware of any scientific data that supports the idea of any child ever being harmed by being breastfed until toddler age--whether they remember it or not.

Of course, I do understand that God also created us as sexual beings, with more understanding than members of the animal kingdom, but it is out of keeping with His design to impose sexuality onto the mother-child bond. I'm trying not to be offensive here, RW, but IMO the controversy surrounding public or "longterm" nursing is mostly male-brained projection onto a nonsexual act. I hesitate to even use the term "longterm" because I consider nursing to the age of 2 or even 3 to be normal. Try to consider this topic without your man-brain in tow. Scientifically. I know. I'm asking a lot. :D

Also, most children wean themselves sometime in the toddler years or earlier. They move on. My personal opinion is that those who extend nursing much past that are encouraged by their mothers to do so, and that may be where a problem lies. If a mother pushes the child to nurse past the child's need or preference for it, then there is an underlying issue.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

MissB, there is no way I can adequately describe why I feel I WOULD be screwed up if I remembered nursing as a 4 year old (or even 3 since I have plenty of memories from that age), not without getting unnecessarily raunchy.

Since I am one to naturally take arguments to their logical extreme, I would ask this question: How old IS too old? (This goes to anyone who has no issues with extended nursing, not just MissB.) I agree that the militant nursers tend to be the granola eating, back to nature types, but what if you came across one of them nursing her 15 year old son? Other than the fact that she would be (and should be) jailed for it, what is the cut off age where it is simply wrong? 7? 10? 12? 15?

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Once again, Miss B. is the voice of wisdom.

I breastfed my daughter until she was 3 1/2, never once while we were both standing with her on a stool, though. :heeheehee

It is the norm in other cultures to breastfeed until 3-4 years of age and is life saving in many cases because of lack of sanitation and poor nutrition.

I will disagree with the notion that older children (beyond 4) are being encouraged by the mother to continue. The mothers I've known that are breastfeeding at that point are actively working on weaning, and oftentimes the children have special needs.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Here is a followup article.


Time magazine cover -- forget the breast, what about the boy?

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2012/...#ixzz1ua4JUfER

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

I agree with his response on some points. Mostly I agree with idea that the mother is carelessly using her son to make a controversial point, with no respect for his privacy or wellbeing--especially in regard to the future. I don't think it has any bearing at all on the actual validity of breastfeeding through the toddler years. TIME magazine is guilty of prostituting both of them.

I'm not concerned at all about the age of the boy--he's only 3. In our house, 3=still a baby. ;)

My own bias is showing again, but I would personally prefer to hear an intelligent rebuttal from a woman; not a man. Western male brains are the root cause for this upheaval and controversy in the first place--and most likely NOT because THEIR mothers breastfed them too long. :rolleyes2

Ironically enough, the response from Dr. Ablow is also guilty of "shock journalism" since he uses the term "be completely recognizable while sucking her nipple" instead of using the more appropriate verbiage of "nursing" or something less provocative.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Oddly enough, even in our country with good sanitation and nutrition, breastfeeding is still the nutritionally superior choice. I find it sad that so many women don't embrace this special time with their children. Not only is it better for children, it's healthy for the mother in myriad ways. For me, it was my favorite time with my babies.

Good points. :) Interesting about the children with special needs--I had never considered that.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Another thing to think about: The woman on the cover is a model, meaning she's probably tall. Her son is probably ALSO tall for his age, making him appear older than 3. That was probably intentional on the part of TIME magazine as well. My son wasn't that big until he was 6 or 7.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Ya, he does look more like 5 (which I am sure was the goal).

And the point in the follow up article that stood out the most was the comment on how this kid will be treated during school and into his teen age years for being the boy sucking on his mom on the cover of TIME.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

I highly doubt his fame will last that long, and if it does, I don't think it will be a serious issue.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Trust me. His "fame" won't even become an issue until he is in 5th-6th grade and later. Then he is going to be the laughing stock of the school.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Who knows, in 40 years the hippie voting block may be somewhat bigger than it is now. He may be docked by many for ONLY nursing until age 3 (or 4 or 5 or 9, or whenever his mother lets him stop).

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Breasting feeding can be good for the health of the baby. Breastfeeding in public should not be a crime. But breastfeeding should stop when the child is old enough to ask for it by name and/or drink from a tippy-cup without assistance. :heeheehee

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

That's what they preach in your church??? :foottap

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Or especially if they can use a straw to drink their coke at McDonalds.

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

:heeheehee

Re: Extreme Parenting -according to TIME
 

:bigbaby