Why Am I So Lonely?
 

I've lived with an aunt and uncle of mine since I'm about 16 years old. While I lived with em, I stayed in my room all alone, all day unless I was at work, at church, or visiting with someone. Today, I moved into my first home of my very own at 25. It's located on my dad's property. My sister is literally 50 steps away from me in my dad's house. Yet I'm lonely. Like...my heart hurts I'm so lonely. And I don't mean poetic heartache hurts. I mean I'm having physical chestpains above my heart. Is this normal? PS just to be clear, *double checks* yep I'm a male, so I'm definitely not on my period.

Sounds like a heart attack.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

I've been there before Matt.

Loneliness is not an easy thing to deal with.

God said it is not good for man to be alone.

I prayed and had faith that God would send me the love of my life and He did.

There is someone for everyone...and for you too.

Not for everyone! Eunuch for the kingdom...

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

:dogkiss doggie kisses for you Matt :dogkiss

I think the reason you are lonely is that we as humans have a profound realization of being separate entities, separate identities, and we long to find unity with another being. Of course that deepest unity can only truly be accomplished with the Spirit of God. But we also long to connect to other human beings. And relationships with human beings are tricky and complicated. We are thinking beings and it’s hard to feel connected to someone who has divergent views from the views you possess. And the longing to find a soul mate, someone who can understand where you are coming from can make one feel eternally lonely. People will tell you that only God can fill that void. And I'm sure that must be ultimately true. But it doesn’t always stop the painful longing we feel to have someone human to connect with on the deepest of levels.

It is so important to live in community and to participate in a community of believers. It’s also important to interact with humanity in general through activities with church members and coworkers, volunteering to help other people, Church ministries such as prison ministry, or feeding the homeless.
You can also find a profound sense of meaning from doing secular volunteering with organizations such as meals on wheels, or even walking dogs at the Humane Society.

Ultimately there is only one way to find peace, joy, love, and fulfillment. It is the way of the Cross, It is through giving yourself away that you will find yourself.

The Prayer of St Francis
Lord make me an instrument of thy peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow Love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
Where there is sadness, joy

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console
To be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned
It is in dying to self that we are born to eternal life.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

A big amen. You might start with the dogs-
-they are the most obviously appreciative.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Because you are alone, alone for the first time in your life.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Matt,
It could be partially what Cindy has stated, but could be a combination of reasons. But I have a feeling, although you have lived with an aunt and uncle since you were 16 yrs old, your Mom was alive. No doubt the circimstances just this month have contributed to your feeling of being alone.
In 1970 we lost a little 5 1/2 yr old daughter in an accident. While God gave tremendeous peace and comfort during the funeral, etc. Felt as if I was surrounded by a sheet of protection, shielding me from the blast of what had happened. Six weeks later, I received a letter from a dear elderly friend who had just learned of our tragedy. She wrote a short note, saying she had not known at the time. She enclosed a beautiful poem entitled "KIM", she had written. That poem triggered something in me. I fell apart, realization awaking in me that my child would never come home again in this life. Delayed grief perhaps.
Matt, just a very short time ago you posted the following request in the "Prayer Room".

Prayer Needed For Bereavement. 5-7-2012

My mom died today, at about 4:00 pm. Please keep me and my family, especially my sister Maegan, and my dad Marcus, in prayer.
__________________

Though it seemed you may have been okay, it is possible that REALITY has set in! Mom is not coming home again. It has been almost 13 yrs since my own dear sweet Mother left us, a week or so after Mother's Day. Tomorrow is Mother's Day again and I sit here weeping as I feel I can identify with your loneliness. After all these years, I still miss my "Momma".
May our Great LORD GOD bring you the PEACE and COMFORT this first Mother's Day without your Mom!

HUGS!

Falla39

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Matt,

I think Falla is hitting the nail on the head. There are days and times that trigger the memories of loss and bring on the feeling of loneliness that you described. Yes Mother's day is on Sunday, and anyone who has lost a Mother, or a Child is going to feel the pain of it.

God Bless you and keep you in his arms Matt.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

I believe you're right, Falla. I lost my Mom when I was 16, and although I was not alone, I was very lonesome for her. I hated everybody for a while, and I was angry at her for leaving me. And there are times I still want and need my Mama.
Will be praying for you, Matt.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Mmmmmm... I always 'liked' being by myself. I would get out on weekends (NOT church), which was always enough for me.

Nearly everything I would recommend you probably wouldn't do......

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Thanks everyone. And thank you for that prayer. What every one of you said makes sense. It's just gonna take some getting used to, my whole situation in general.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

A move is like the 2nd or 3rd most stressful
event in most peoples' lives; and it doesn't sound like
you've moved much?

You invariably kind of flop around for a couple weeks
until a new routine gets established--you can kind of
remake little areas of your life in a move, after you
get the hang of it; establish a new pattern, etc.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Yeah double b, this is my first home of my own. I'm a lot better tonight. I was just absolutely lost last night. I even had my cats with me, it's so weird. I guess once I get back to work I'll feel completely normal.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Matt, you will probably get to enjoying your privacy. The fact that you are the man of your own place will be quite satisfying after awhile. You rule your roost.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

There's your problem! You need to get a dog or two!

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Haha I like dogs too, but these were my moms cats. My dad wanted to get rid of them once she passed, and she wouldn't have liked that very much. She absolutely adored her cats.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Hmm, dogs are just a diff kind of companion than cats,
and one could be adopted (for instance) that is cat-friendly?
Also, girls seem to be more attracted to guys with dogs? Or at least pets.

I agree that you might come to love living alone,
although that is prolly more like "at 40."
Which, you post like 40 anyway, but at 25,
I think yur prolly s'posed to prefer
a dorm arrangement, and suggest, strangely, that
your situation may be somewhat a disadvantage,
at your age; I would prolly consider open house to someone needing
temp housing.

Also, we have sayings like...hmm, "life begins at 40,"
and "house warming party" for a reason? : )

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Matt, we have all lost it at various times, and it more than likely that most us will do so again. That is natural. Cats can be great comforters, failing that, squeeze them tightly but gently. I have always felt a bit better afterward (not sure that they appreciated it, but I did).

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

I like cats...I just can't eat a whole one by myself : )

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

I am coming for you right NOW!!!!!

:feral :preach :scripture :thumbsdown :hurtyou :nuke :reaper :drawguns :thwak :club :smack :foottap

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Do you like them baked, fried or sautéed with onions and peppers and put into a stew?

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Do Not make me come after you as well!!!

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

You're so scary. You have to start out softly to really scare people. :smack
Don't bring out the big stuff all at once.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

I'll just give your cats to my dogs. :girlnails

How about that?

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Yup. You get much more mileage from a whisper and an icy stare.

http://s1.moviefanfare.com/uploads/2...irty-Harry.jpg

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Matt I prayed for you today.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

I do not make statements to frighten or intimidate, I only make those that I intend to keep.



I will feed your dogs to my cats.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Yikes? It was a joke!
Ha! Raw, of course.
Joining SE there, amen.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Lol, never seen most of those...smileys?

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Byrd, I know that you were joking, and I was too. I happen to be a cat lover, and your joke made me want to pull that out (it had been a while since I got to do that to someone). :D

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

http://images.ebsco.com/es/NewImages...0517545164.jpg

http://www.lunkos.com/wp-content/upl...9/11/katt3.jpg

http://www.lunkos.com/wp-content/upl...oon_catbig.gif

http://www.plejaderna.nu/torget/katt1.jpg

http://www.cartoonstock.com/101_dead...on_catbig1.gif

http://www.plejaderna.nu/torget/katt2.jpg

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

I am not a cat lover. Our dogs stay in our yard yet every cat owners in the neighborhood allows their cats to wonder the whole neighborhood all night. We used to have TONS of quail living in our yards as well as many other song birds but the cats have decimated them.

Luckily I have my 1200 fps (fast enough to enter AND exit!) pellet gun and am waging war on the felines! I would use my Bushmaster .223 A3 assault rifle, but the noise may wake the neighbors.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Matt, just read your post, and will be praying for you... sorry I'm a little late to hear about this, but I will be praying for you indeed.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Those were funny!! I loved them. You are going to have to post more of those.

I disagree in principle with allowing cats to run loose (we did allow ours to do so, but lived in a very small town in KS at that time). In general, cats should be kept indoors if at all possible. Fewer fleas, ticks, diseases, and assorted trauma.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

That right there marks you as a responsible cat owner! Bravo!

While I am NOT a cat lover I have known individual cats who were very loving. I could have kept them as pets myself (if I wasn't so allergic).

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Both of my cats are very loving (especially if I am trying to read or sleep).

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Ha ya, I can't think of any animals I dislike, really.

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

I cannot stand snakes. I hate snakes. I hate them.

"Snakes. Why does it have to be snakes."

Re: Why Am I So Lonely?
 

Get some chickens, hogs, and goats and then talk to me.