So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

In my office we have a unique blend of folks. Many different departments share this floor, as we are part of a University and Medical Center of over 23,000 employees.

We do have a dress code, but in an organization this large, policing and enforcement is quite difficult if a supervisor or manager chooses to look the other way.

There are many times I am offended by what others wear... men and women... and I overlook it. But while getting coffee this morning, I just couldn't look past what I saw. A sheer blouse that was almost see through. With dress shorts, that were the length of hot pants.... top of the thigh. And they were somewhat baggy, so that when the young lady sits down, the whole world is her gynecologist.

I approached her supervisor (which is what we are told to do in cases like this) and mentioned that the employee's outfit was offensive. Her response was, "I don't see what's offensive. It's sexy, but not offensive."

I was in shock... I said, "Sexy is Offensive!!!!". But even beyond that, the work place is no place for sexy. I provided a copy of the dress code in black and white and said, no matter your opinion or mine, this is a violation of the rules.

But I couldn't believe my ears.... so people don't think sexy is offensive anymore????? I was raised that "sexy" is for private.... not public.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

I find "sexy", in public, to be far more distracting that necessarily offensive. Besides, what is considered "sexy" and what is not is one of the most subjective areas a person can have an opinion on, bar none.

As I think about this more..... Once something does cross the line from distracting to offensive, it is no longer "sexy" anyways. Often it becomes laughable as I think of all of the "people of walmart" photos I have seen.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

It's just stupid to dress like that for work. Her manager should be held accountable.

I agree with Randy, at that point, it's no longer sexy, but inappropriate for business dress (even casual Friday).

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

It really all depends on who is wearing the outfit. I mean does she look like Jennifer Aniston or Betty White? If she looks like Jennifer Aniston or such then I wouldn't say it was necessarily offensive, but if she wa slike Betty White, or if she was a really really large woman...then it would be offensive.

;) LOL.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

:thumbsdown

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

You must be a man? So, if it really is sexy, it is not offensive, it is eye candy???

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

And though you might have meant that in jest.... it is this very attitude in our society...even by church people that shows how far we have strayed from modesty. Doesn't matter how hot or not she is... when someone is attempting to be sexy in their public dress, it is offensive to me.... and the fact that some think dressy "sexy" for work... no matter what you look like is absolutely amazing.

We've become way too casual in our society, and lost modesty. Just the fact that you think even saying that in jest.... is a sad indication just how casual we've become in this world..... to our detriment.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Sounds like she was being "sexy" in the revolting way that a hooker might be considered by some to be "sexy;" and while it might be initially distracting for someone of the male gender, hopefully a HG filled man might find it inappropriate and certainly incompatible for office attire.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

It's inappropriate by the dress code whether they are filled with the HG or not.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Maybe, but again to me once "sexy" crosses a line toward being "offensive" it is no longer sexy. So I would never use those two words to describe the same person at the same time.

And God DID grant some people assets above and beyond what He granted others. There are a few women here who would have to wear a snowmobile suit to not be distracting.... does that mean they are obligated too?

Oh how I miss Rhoni in some of these discussions. LOL

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

The world will be the world. Professionally speaking her attire was inappropriate and potentially offensive to others. Disciplinary procedures should have followed with perhaps a stern warning if this is her first offense. Sexy or offensive... it doesn't matter... it's inappropriate in a business environment. If she wants to dress like a hoochie let it be on her own time.

Everyone likes "sexy" and everyone has their own "proclivities" with regards to sex and sexuality. However, those are private matters for private times and should be handled with discretion and respect in a business or public environment.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

I probably would have used Betty Paige vs Betty White as examples. LOL

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

LOL!!!!

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Yeah, what he said.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

its thes etype of people who want men to lust after them. sexy doesnt need to be in the work place. its needs to be kept in the bedroom. I like cold weather, but i also like the fact the cold forces people to cover up.

i walked in the park the other day with my 2 daughters. and lo and behold to 2 girls i say between 18-21 in a skimpy 2 peice swimsuit, doing chalk art on the side walk both with their butt's stuck up in the air so everyone could see it....

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

I probably should have said "at work here" when typing that -as I really am not that familiar, appearance wise, with most females on this board. LOL

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

I did assume you meant at your work.

CC1 would have most of us here wearing blue denium wear.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

It's evident that some women who dress like this are looking for attention. Why? They feel alone inside. Some of these women are "looking for love" hoping to find some form of attention that will satisfy. She's a prime candidate to introduce to Jesus.

We must be wise. Sometimes we have to take a stand... sometimes we have to stand down and see what might be going on in the spirit with the people we know and work with.

What might Jesus have done? That's open to debate. But my point is... don't forget Christ and your calling in these situations.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

There is a HUGE difference between attractiveness and sexy. Attractive is not inappropriate.... sexy is inappropriate anywhere in public and offensive.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Are we gasping at this woman's behavior in condemnation of her attire... or are we thinking about what all of this means with regards to her soul? I would see it as a cry for help. She's trying to get attention... but it's Christ's attention that she is truly hungry for.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

While I think it is possible to split some hair when talking definitions, I don't believe their is a huge difference between the two..... Not even a "medium" difference.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

But folks... you can't deny that our society has become way to inmodest and casual.

Over this past weekend, my youngest neice graduated from University of Chicago with high honors. Yes it was hot in Chicago on Saturday, and yes the ceremonies were outside.... but there are ways to be appropriate for the weather and not look like prostitues... male and female alike.

At a prestigious school... and very nice event, there were girls there in tops that look like the old halter top with skirts so short you could almost see their hallelujah hoo-ha.

Guys there in shorts...at a graduation.... and tank tops.

I don't expect the world to look like the church, but our society has gotten way too casual..... it really bothers me.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

I disagree...she's hungry for attention all right... but she aint no more hungry for Christ than I am for a steaming bowl of brussel sprouts.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

You are right, but he is too.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

We talk like society has gotten really bad. Ancient Greece was far worse. lol

A female friend of mine went to Aruba with a girlfriend several years ago. They discovered that the beach was topless and so they decided that... when in Rome...

I think there is a time and a place for everything. But being "sexy" or "provocative" isn't appropriate for the work place for certain.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Again, I beg to differ. Part of the problem is semantics. Your equating "sexy" with immodesty -and we would probably even disagree on the definition of immodesty in most cases.

But here is am example of what I am trying to describe. I believe this girl IS attractive, modest AND sexy. Do you disagree? What should she do to change her appearance if she is too sexy for you?
http://thehindimusic.com/wp-content/...ndian-girl.jpg

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Best post on this thread.

Personally, unless you are the employER and in a position to hold an employee accountable, I would let it go and not say a single word.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

One Night w/the King?

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Ya, we quickly get into too many different trains of thought and tangents on some of these subjects. Or as Ray Stevens might say, we start talking in parallel lines with will never intersect. LOL

And speaking of nude beaches, while they weren't nude beaches per say, but when we went to Jamaica there were a few (European) women who laid on the beach topless. That would normally be very distracting to me, except they were all in their 60's (or at least looked like they were). An extreme case where it went from distracting to laughable -or even blinding. LOL

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

I don't know... Jesus saw a Samaritan woman at a well once. She had been married five times and was currently shacking up with a guy she wasn't married to. Jesus spoke to her. Jesus revealed a spiritual thirst in her. She had spent her life looking to quench her thirst for love in men... and she couldn't find it. He revealed that her answer was "living water". Then he revealed his identity to her and she immediately went to her home town and witnessed to everyone about him. Those she spoke to came to the well to see Jesus... and many believed.

Yep... the evangelist to that small town was a woman who had been married five times and was currently shacked up with a guy. I don't know what happened to her. I pray they eventually married and found happiness in Christ.

God doesn't see things like we see them. I'm not saying you're wrong. I'm just saying be open enough to see people as Jesus might see them. Sometimes we overreact in a righteously indignant tirade and alienate a lot of people from Christ because they see us as "beating up on" a lady over what she chose to wear. While they might agree that it was inappropriate... they're more concerned with how she was treated as a person. So... let's remember to behave like Jesus in moments like these. That's all I'm saying.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

lol

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

She is attractive, and modest... except for what looks like make-up on her face.... but she is not sexy.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Yeah, and the bigger the assets the smaller a male's brain becomes.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

She was thirsty yes... I didn't disagree with that part... but not for Christ... and the woman at the well wasn't either... she was searching absolutely for something to fill the God shaped hole in her life... but there is nothing in that Scripture to indicate that she every realized that Christ would fill the thirst. She was thirsty, but nothing indicated thirsty for Christ.

Furthermore, you say she evangelized.... there is nothing in the Scriptures that says she ever accepted Christ, repented of her sins, or came to faith in Christ..... as far as we know, she died in her sins...... too many have made too many assumptions about this girl.

In regards to the gal in my office...she's thirsty, but not for Christ. She would have to realize her need for Christ first, to become thirsty for Christ.... right now, she's only thirsty.

Just like me... I was longing for something in my life... however, I had to realize my longing was for Christ, before my longing could be a longing for Christ.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Exactly his point!

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Hey! I represent that remark! lol

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

The phrase " I couldn't get passed what a saw" says more about the observer than the person wearing the sexy outfit. I wonder why the person stared at the lady for 15-20 seconds. It takes at least 15 seconds of looking someone over to provide that much detail. Could it the moral outrage is tpa decoy for the real issue?

I know my wife would have an issue with me if described a woman as explicit as BR did. She would suggest my eyes look elsewhere.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

no it wasn't.... he said she was thirsty and thirsty for Christ.... She's thirsty but it's not for Christ... this gal is a Asian Buddhist..... she aint thirsty for Christ... just thirsty.

If I'm thirsty... then I'm just thirsty... I"m not thirsty for a specific thing until I identify what I'm thirsty for.

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

In management... we must observe what staff are wearing...not only our staff, but also other staff... Why? because if I don't let my staff get away with something, but they see another getting away with it, it will come back to bite me in the tail. I have to be observant as one of my jobs as a manager is to police appearance.....

Re: So Sexy Isn't Offensive?
 

Very subjective. I guess I personally would not say anything, though.