I've Got a Problem!
 

What do you think about a loved one posting full frontal nudity pics of their children (5 years and 11 mos) on Facebook?

When I commented that it bothered me and I thought it was inappropriate, I was lambasted for not respecting her parenting decisions, but at least she appeased me by taking them off Facebook.

I complimented her for "doing the right thing" and she became furious. I tried to reason with her, but it only made things worse.

What should I do? Should I just contact Facebook next time and let them take it off?

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

You can hide the story or block the friend. Changing someone is harder to do. It amazing how people get heated when you touch their "art".

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Please take my response as more generic, having not seen the pictures and not knowing what the subject matter looks like.

To you it may be "full frontal nudity" but to a parent it may be "cute, naked". Naked and full frontal are two entirely different things. Many parents don't see the harm in taking pictures of their naked young kids when their bathing, or playing, or in some way "cute". Keeping them within the family is a way for parents to remember their kids in a time of innocence and having fun.

Posting them on facebook for the world to see seem like a lapse in judgement on the mom's part, most likely due to her being overcome by the cuteness factor of her kids.

If the kids were posing nude (and depending on goal of the pictures), that's a different matter entirely. Then the subject is approach very inappropriate and the mom needs to be called on it.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Nah. I think you did the right thing.

You're kinder than me. I woulda called the Fed.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Mr. Steinway.... You did the right thing. :thumbsup

Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that even when you think you have all the settings correct and everything is private and only your "friends" can see pictures and posts..... FB will make changes to the settings and your stuff is no longer private but out there for all the world to see. I understand "cute naked" pics; however, there are predators out there that are looking for this type of thing and the child's pictures could possibly be passed along to other predators - and God forbid, but if the parents' information is not generic enough that child could become a target.

Bottom line - I check my privacy settings very frequently - and I'm careful of the pics and posts that I make on FB.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

You did the right thing!

What they are failing to realize is that their cute little naked babies are a turn on for some sick pedophile person and the pictures are public and could turn up on some twisted website for others to view.

You aren't just being a prude about it because I'm sure you think they are adorable too.

But, not everyone is pure minded about naked babies as you and them.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Maybe when things simmer down a bit you can forward this article to them:

http://moms.today.msnbc.msn.com/_new...o-or-dont?lite

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

I would not post them at all... but certainly nothing beyond toddler age.

Stein, how you deal with this person depends greatly on who they are, and how close you are to them.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

There are a lot of perverts on FB and if they are some how able to get into the private account or get on the friends list, those pictures can become child porn.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

You absolutely did the right thing. There are too many predators in this world, that can get access to photos on the internet, and share them.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

They also might not know all their "friends" well enough to be safe either. It's not like pedophile's advertise themselves as predators to everyone.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Thank you for your responses! I tried to what I thought was right to protect my innocent grandbabies. Because I have "questioned my DIL's judgement" in posting the pictures in the first place, my son has told me that they are ceasing all communication with me!

Its a sad day for me when young adults wont heed popular and sound advice concerning posting nude pictures of innocent children showing genitals on Facebook. I cant believe it's come to this!

For them to cease communication over an issue like this, it means that there must be deeper issues here of which I'm not aware! This is insane!

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

I was afraid this might be the case. I guess (if it were me) I would seriously back off to avoid more obstacles to future communication.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Honestly, you were 100% right to say something and I fully believe you DIL was caught off guard when you brought it to her attention -and is now mad at you because she is mad at herself, and probably embarrassed as well. Sounds a bit like psychological mumbo jumbo but it is probably the case. The good thing is is that she will eventually calm down (she already realizes you were right but will take a day or two to admit it).

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

My aunt put up pictures of a 1 year old in the sink taking a bath, and the pictures got taken down by facebook. "Child pornography" Personally I think the world has gotten entirely too sensitive about the wrong things, and loose with the right things.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

This is what I'm doing. I just sent my son a card letting him know I'll be here when he needs me.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

I know that it is how they feel "right now". I'm just gonna' back off for a while before I try to communicate with them again. Any attempt too soon will be taken as salt on the wound!

Hopefully you son will step up to defend you when things calm down.

I know it has to hurt.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

My DIL thinks they are just fun and innocent pictures taken of her children taking a bath together. I checked and she has 330 friends, but her posts can be seen by friends of friends, which means probably over 3,000 could access those pictures.

It's very frustrating that she doesn't have a clue!

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

My guess would be well over ten thousand.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

I believe that will happen. Yes, it hurts, but it's probably for the best that we don't communicate for a period of time to allow things to cool down.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

:thumbsup You just might be right! I was being conservative with averaging each friend with 100 friends. I'm sure its much higher!

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Yeah, how this was approached may have something to do with it. It's hard to say.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

I had a relative that did that, I told her once an image is on the internet, it's there forever. And you are advertising your baby to the world naked. She said I hadn't thought of that.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Yes. I tried to be very kind in my request, but she took it as an attack on her parenting skills! Family members were talking, and I was the only one brave enough to say anything. She posts lots of inflammatory things on her Facebook page, daring anyone to say anything in objection. She was looking for a fight and I gave her one.

In the future, I will just contact Facebook and let them remove objectionable pictures anonymously. I just wish I had thought of that earlier!

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

You had a relative that would admit that she didn't use good judgment. My DIL will not admit ANYTHING! She believes the pictures were cute and proper. She's angry that I don't trust her judgment!

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

What a yucky situation! You definitely did the right thing in standing up to her. Hopefully your son will be able to reason with her once the situation has had a chance to diffuse in a few days. Will be praying towards that end. You might also share with your son some of the info shared here about child pornography and how images on facebook, and the internet in general are used on websites that have evil uses for them. That in itself should change people's minds about posting pictures of their young children on the internet.

Maybe you could do some research to that end, and present it to your son alone, and allow him to share it with his wife in a less confrontational way.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Mr. Steinway,

Ah.....no conflict like family conflict! I hate to hear this happened. I can understand why she thinks they are cute innocent pics (and they are to close friends and family) but I also understand your concerns over so much visibility to them.

FB is not like the old days when you had family picture albums you only showed to family or close friends. Now you really don't know who all are going to see them and in any case it is many time over who would have when pics were not in cyber space.

I read an article within the past year or so about someone visiting an Eastern European country and being shocked when they saw a picture of their neighbors family used in an advertising campaign for some kind of store. The family was very photogenic and whoever had put together the ad campaign for the store found the pic on the web and used it. I guess they thought since the family lived in America they would never know. It just shows that with the internet you never know where a pic is going to end up.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Although it happened before the internet this isn't the first time an American family experienced something like that.

http://www.upperplayground.com/wp-co...cation.jpg.jpg

Randy you are hilarious!!!!

DIL is spinning lies on her facebook page about me. She is so evil!

I posted on my Facebook page that I'm letting my character and reputation defend itself. I could say plenty to set the story straight, but it would only add fuel to the fire. This time I'm not taking he bait!

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Mr. Steinway..... my heart is breaking for you! May God continue to give you wisdom in this situation and may HE deal with your DIL!

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

I am sorry to hear that. Just let it rest a while, the truth doesn't need defense.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

Yeah, probably just say you are sorry if she felt you were offensive and let it go. Nothing good can come of anything else....

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

:thumbsup

I apologized for offending her and asked her forgiveness three different times. I said that we should call a truce and agree to disagree, but to no avail. After she cools off, I might try the apology route again. It's difficult to do when it's thrown back in your face in such a hateful manner.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

I'm so glad you said something to your dil, although it's turned ugly.....it
could have been much much worse. Why are some people so hard headed??

Things like this are some of the reasons I don't like facebook.

Praying for you and your family Mr Steinway!

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

I probably would apologize only once for offending her. But...to be honest, this would be an offense that could be considered as "cautious" in the favor for your grands. Sometimes, even though your DIL may consider this to be harmless, someone needs to stand in the gap for the children. I think a lot of people would question her parental judgment about those pictures.

Posting nude pictures on the internet of her own children is inappropriate and very, very dangerous for the children. Too many pervs out there.

You did the right thing by calling her on it.

Re: I've Got a Problem!
 

I concur with all of the wise comments.