Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Is it okay to hug your Pastor? Please give pros and cons.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

If you have know your Pastor awhile and feel that you have that sort of relationship with him/her then yes. If you have any inkling that it would make your Pastor or their spouse uncomfortable, then no.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

I used to be Baptist. Everybody hugged everybody at church. Then I became OP and no hugs were ever given across gender lines except to very young boys. Not sure where I even learned that... it just...WAS.

Funnily there was a LOT more adultery in my former UPC church then there ever was in my former Baptist church... So if the reason for the no hugs policy was/is to avoid lust... well... it's not working!

I am now a hugger again... and when I see folks from my old church I hug them... girls, boys, women and men! If someone is offended they just have to write me off as a doty old lady :) And next time maybe they won't stand so close :heeheehee

So my answer is YES I would hug my pastor.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

I don't hug anyone of the opposite sex, unless they are very closely related to me, but that is just my preference. Only exceptions really, are a very few number of "little ol ladies" that I've known my entire life. But that's just me, and I don't expect everyone else to be that way...

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

The way I see it, when one has to have a "rule" either spoken or unspoken not to touch another human being, then that rule seems to be made because the ones making it cannot contain themselves and they project it onto others.

If everybody would just be honest with themselves about their relationship with God, we wouldn't have to have so many stupid rules in our churches.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Only if he showers:heeheehee

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Heh! A good way to keep people from hugging ya. Just don't shower after working in the yard the day before. :heeheehee

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

There doesn't need to be a "no hug!" rule BUT having said that, I am personally not a hugger. Unless it is my wife, I tend to recoil from the touch of any other human being.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

I get that some people are huggerrs, I hate when people just assume it is ok to hug me. I agree we don't need a no hug rule, just a don't hug ME rule.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Hugs Are Good For Your Health
By Jandi Theis R.N.

I think we all would agree that nutrition and exercise are important to living a healthy and productive life. Today, I’m going to talk about something else that might surprise you, but some say could be just as important as nutrition and exercise.

When was the last time you gave or received a hug? It turns out that hugs just may be the secret ingredient to a better, more productive, healthier life.

Hugs have been on my mind a lot the last couple of days. It’s been almost 12 weeks since I’ve seen my husband and as I write this, he is on his way home! There are many things I miss when he is gone, and even though neither one of us are touchy-feely type of people, I’m always waiting most for that first hug when he walks in the door.

Think about the last time someone gave you a hug… it didn't even have be from a significant other. Maybe it was a friend or your parent or a child, maybe even a stranger… often times when I’m discharging a patient from the hospital, they will give me a hug and say thank you. Sometimes those hugs make my day! No matter who the hugs come from, they always make me feel good.

Well, it turns out that it’s not just me. Hugs are good for your health! There are several studies showing that hugs reduces stress, slow breathing and heart rate, and lower blood pressure, which reduces the risk of heart disease. Hugs have also been shown to ease tension, improve moods, and release fear.

Studies have shown that when we hug, we increase the level of the hormone oxytocin in our blood. Oxytocin is known as the “bonding hormone” because when it is released, it causes a “bonding” or “caring” response in people. A daily dose of oxytocin from hugging can help prevent heart disease because as the oxytocin levels in our blood increase, our blood pressure drops. About one in three adults in the U.S. has high blood pressure, which is one of the main risk factors for heart disease, so just think of all the positive benefits that could come from sharing hugs every day!

Dorothy M. Neddermeyer, PhD is quoted as saying "Hugging is all natural; it is organic, naturally sweet, no pesticides, non-fattening, no carbohydrates, no preservatives, no artificial or genetically engineered ingredients, and 100% wholesome."

Several sources suggest that everyone needs at least four hugs a day for healthy survival, eight hugs a day for emotional strength, and 12 hugs a day to really grow and be empowered. That might sound like a lot of hugging to you, so maybe you just need to start by giving your husband, wife, or special someone a hug at least once a day. And don’t forget to give your kids (the big ones and the little ones) hugs… we all need and benefit from hugs, no matter what our age.

One thing to remember is that in order to benefit from hugs, they need to be open and sincere. Some people don’t like to be touched, so before you hug a complete stranger or someone who you know likes their personal space, ask them if it would be ok if you give them a hug. As you go about your day, think about someone who might feel better if they got a hug from you today. And remember, not only will they feel better but you will to.

I’m thankful that when my husband is away from home, I have other family and friends around to give me a hug once in awhile. I have a friend who gives the best hugs ever… she wraps her arms around and holds on tight. If you live alone and feel like you don’t have anyone to hug, then join a group or club (maybe a ladies group at your church or sport team) or volunteer with senior citizens or children. Any time that you are meeting and greeting people or saying goodbye is an opportunity for you to give a hug.

I think the following saying says it all, so I thought I’d share it with you:

"Hugs are not only nice, they are needed. Hugs can help relieve pain and depression, make the healthy healthier, the happy happier, and the most secure among us even more so.

Hugging feels good, overcomes fears, eases tension, provides stretching exercises if you are tall. Hugging also does not upset the environment, saves heat, is portable, requires no special equipment, makes happy days happier and impossible days possible."

I totally agree with everything that author says about hugs. When I close my eyes and think real hard, I can almost feel the stress melt away when I get a hug from my husband… it’s like a big sigh. And I am so excited that in less than two hours he will be walking through the door and I won’t have to dream about it anymore… I can’t wait for that first hug!

What are you waiting for? Hugs are good for your health… Go hug someone!

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

In the days of the Jesus Movement when love was flowing like rain we all hugged everyone! When I moved into Pentecost it seemed much more formalistic and cold. You had to kind of discern who you hugged. Im fine with what we will call "Christian type" hugs where the bodies of the people are not close.

At this point I would not be comfortable hugging the UPC Pastor where my wife attends and I visit occasionally. He seems like a good man but at this point I only know him formally.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

It's not a "pastor" question. You should treat them just like other brothers and sisters in the Lord. More about expectations and personal preference.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

It's not a very common thing in our church to hug the pastor but it isn't looked down or thought of as weird either. I certainly have no problem with it, I've hugged him a few times myself.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

At my church we always have hugged each other since I started to attend it in 1986. The church I went to as a kid there was no contact and it was a lost chuch with membership over 2,000 people. My little church is like family and we are close.:thumbsup
The word says to greet each other with a Holy Kiss. I do not do that. Just hugs.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

I "kiss" but not with the lips.


1.to touch or press with the lips slightly pursed, and then often to part them and to emit a smacking sound, in an expression of affection, love, greeting, reverence, etc.: He kissed his son on the cheek.
2.
to join lips with in this way: She kissed him and left.
3.
to touch gently or lightly: The breeze kissed her face.
4.
to put, bring, take, etc., by, or as if by, kissing: She kissed the baby's tears away.
5.
Billiards, Pool . (of a ball) to make slight contact with or brush (another ball).

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Pastors are servants of the church. If you want them to hug you, they should have to do it. If they don't, then it would appear that they haven't truly submitted themselves to service.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

How about you ask your Pastors wife (if he has one) if its OK to hug her husband? See what kind of response she gives. If she says yes, then ask your Pastor if its ok and see what he says.

This issue is about respecting the standard of the church so if all else fails and you dont feel comfortable asking the one you want to hug if its ok, follow the standard set forth in the Church.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

I never realized churches had hugging standards. I always thought it was simply personal preference.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

All that for a hug?

I own a farm... I talk to a lot of other farmers and people starting into homesteading by email and phone. They wind up on the farm to buy chickens, piglets, calves, kids, goslings, etc. Almost without exception the women hop out of their cars and give me a hug. While most of the men may shake my hand on the way in they give a hug on the way out. I've always interpreted that to say I am warm and approachable.

Few times ever come and go with new people that we do not have a reason to share about the goodness of God or that I do not talk about my wonderful husband (who is seldom present because we work opposite shifts) and what he contributes here... So I will assume there is nothing more in these hugs then a thank you from them to me and me to them for being an encourager and sharing the love of Christ.

I can not imagine having to ask someone's permission to do that.

I did have a Muslim man buy goats once who refused to shake my hand. Still he was gracious to put the hand he would have extended over his heart and bow deeply giving me a chance to put my extended hand down without looking rejected.

Let us never become like those who do not believe that we can love others without losing control and winding up lusting. For if we are like them the Holy Spirit certainly does not rule and reign in our hearts.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Can't really vote in the poll since it doesn't have certain qualifiers in it... for me, it's nothing to do with "holiness" standards or things like that, but just is what is culturally appropriate in the culture of that local church and community. Where I was raised, and most of the folks I spend time with, you would never consider hugging across gender lines unless they were family... just considered inappropriate.

So, if my pastor were a woman, I'd never think of hugging her, even from the side, as it is just not appropriate for me to hug the opposite sex by most people's terms.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

I gained a whole new respect for you today Bro. Robbins with just this one little line. :)

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Group hug!!!!!

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Don't read too much into that... Though the organization I'm ordained with, and minister within does have women pastors, was started by a woman, and I often minister for women pastors... I personally would never be a formal member of a church with a woman senior pastor. It was more of a rhetorical statement in light of the original question, not me providing my theological viewpoint of the appropriateness of women pastors.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

POOF! that was short lived...

So is it 'appropriate' for you to hug a male pastor... I mean if you can keep your self pure in thought and deed (not you personally, the common you) thorugh that... why not a nice seinor lady pastor... or even a hot young girl pastor??? Where is the Holy Ghost when you need Him? JK... well.. maybe.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

HUH? Totally misfired thoughts from what I originally posted.

The point I was making was that the appropriateness had nothing to do with the role the person played, it was a gender issue. In the culture I was brought up in, and live in, it's not appropriate for me as a male to hug any female, no matter her role in the church. Therefore, if my Senior Pastor were male, no issue hugging him, but if my Senior Pastor were female, it would be inappropriate... because she is female, not because of the role in the church.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

My question was WHY?

And if the answer is about lust my TIC point was that this makes a strong assumption that everyone in church is hetrosexual and could never 'stumble' over a same sex hug... in which case... not being able to guarantee that we should probably refrain from all hugging... or all touching... Or we could just get right with God and be able to hug anyone... only feeling sexy when we hug our spouse. That's my approach. :)

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

I'm like the one kid on The Apple Dumpling Gang when it comes to personal contact.

<kick!>
Mr Donovan: "Ooooooooouch! Why did you kick me?"
Older brother of kid: "Randy doesn't like to be touched."

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

It should be a personal preference....not a mandate. It is not my personality at all ::hug4

But my customers tend to like me :highfive, and a few months ago at the end of a transaction a customer hugged me......totally caught me off guard :heeheehee

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Very good advise :thumbsup

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

the answer is because culturally it's considered inappropriate contact.... and you wouldn't even see same gender hug one another in my culture unless they are family or extremely, extremely, extremly close friends. That invasion of personal space, and gesture of familiarity is one for only those within the closest of circles.... at least that's the rule of thumb for the culture I am from, and pretty much so for the culture I live in now. Has nothing to do with lust or sex, it's just personal space and familiarity, and appropriateness of expression.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

So are we discussing ethnic culture or is there actually a religious culture to which you are referring and if so what religion would that be? I mean I am from Mexican descent, I hit a pinata on birthdays because it's a cultural thing... but hugging seems pretty universal.

Seems to me that since even babies hug it is something that must be 'unlearned' if we are not going to do it... And if we do not hug, why do we only not hug one gender? Why not forsake hugging everyone?

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

This reminds me of a story where a pastor noticed that another pastor was getting hugs while he only got handshakes. Out of curiosity, the pastor asked the other pastor why when people approach him they want a hug, but when the same people approached him they only want a handshake?

"It's easy", said the first pastor. When people approach you, you hold out your hand. When they approach me, I hold out BOTH hands!

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

How about you read my post thoroughly??? I didn't say just one gender... I said also among the same gender that it's not considered appropriate to hug the same gender unless they are very, very, very, very, very close in relationship because of personal space and familiarity perceptions. This to hug or not to hug really doesn't matter on the gender in the culture I was raised in.... and we're talking more of a geographical culture in the appalachian area I was raised in, and additionally the church culture I live in now.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Guess the both genders got lost in your saying you would not hug your pastor if she were a woman???

Anywho... that's a lot of verys... you seem annoyed, I was only curious... Not like your not hugging affects my life any... I am still getting my hugs without you just fine :)

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

When I attended the UPCI church in Okinawa, a smaller, military-oriented church, hugging of the Pastor and his wife was not a big deal for this single guy.

Fast forward to NC, AL, MD, and FL-- hugging the Pastor was awkward and hugging the Pastor's wife was simply unacceptable. There was a vibe or something that they put off that let you know, this far but no further.

I went to visit my last Pastor and hugging him was not awkward-- but now I'm not a member there. I still miss him.


The other Apostolic churches I've attended hugging of the Pastor or his wife just didn't happen, to include my Dad's church.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Ive always wondered why this practice of hugging doesnt seem to be the norm. I think alot of pastors and wives just seem untouchable and superior acting to the saints but maybe Im way off base. First and formost, they are saints just like all of us.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Who was your pastor when you attended in Okinawa? :hmmm

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

My original pastor never would have allowed that. He was super conservative that way. You never hugged a person of the opposite sex you were not married to. Quite a bit of divorce in that church. Which came first, the chicken or the egg. Just sayin'.

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

Just wondering, this rule some have against opposite-sex hugs, well, what if you're gay? What if the other one is gay? What if you don't know if he or she is gay?

Re: Is it okay to hug your Pastor?
 

This is not an issue with those who have those rules because nobody is really gay. Didn't you know that?