How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

How do you deal with a fellow Christian who is gay?

The Bible is clear that this is sin. And I have a feeling that the conversation of "if this is sinful, why did God make me gay?" is going to come up soon. And I want to handle it rightly.

Has anyone else been through this before? Any tips? Speaking in love and directly from the Bible are in my arsenal now. I just want to make really sure that if/when the conversation comes up, I handle it with love and the right spirit.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

I'm not sure I have the answer to your question, but will just share my thoughts on the subject.

One might feel a desire to watch porn, or have extramarital affairs, or be single and have sequential partners, but because of what the bible teaches about sex and marriage, we will have a better life if we don't act on those feelings. We don't always understand why people have the feelings they have, but the goal is to pattern our lives after the bible instead of our feelings.

I believe that the Bible is blueprint for having a good life now, along with a good eternity.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

I completely agree with all of that.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Not sure what you are agreeing with. With being gay or the arguments against such behavior?

Just wondering.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

It's not your burden to bear. Don't even try. Homosexual orientation is wrapped tightly with the persons identity. You may tell the person that you don't agree with the sin, etc.
What he or she will hear is "I reject you!"

Buena suerte.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

I worked on a job with several gay males and a lesbian. My wifes old boss was a lesbian. We found it was best to treat them like you would any other person living in sin. Show the love of Christ, be friendly, dont lecture, just because you don't loudly proclaim your disgust for their life style and sin doesnt mean you agree with it.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Monterray - I agree with Amanah's sentiments.

Everyone else - I do not and have no intention of treating this person differently. We are ALL sinners. I just want to do my best to handle the conversation that I see on the horizon.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Let God handle it.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Sorry, that didn't answer your question, did it? :)

I think you are on the right track, based on your latest post. Treat him or her like any other friend. If and when "the conversation" comes up, you can certainly give your opinions on the question, but certainly allow for differences of opinion.

It's puzzling to me that many gay people are Christians, as it does seem to be against the Bible's teaching, but who knows? Maybe they're right, when they interpret things differently. It's their life, and they do what they feel they have to. They are gay, and there is no changing that. (Except, apparently, very rarely -- and then I have to wonder if the "delivered" gays were not strictly gay but bi-sexual, and simply choose to focus on the opposite gender through their own will power. Just my hunch.)

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

I agree and practice this.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

:thumbsup

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

There are are many who have been delivered from homosexuality, but unfortunately both sides seem to enjoy quoting rates of recidivism rather than focus on the miracle God can perform.

I wonder... are the rates of recidivism greater for homosexuals than all other sins? Kleptomania, pedophilia, fearfulness, envy, pride, malice?

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

I would just say, I think you know how I personally feel about this subject however let's talk about things we agree on....unless the person wants to change why make them upset? Pray for them. I have a very close friend that is like a brother he is gay...I seldom see him anymore but when I do I talk about other things. We grew up together. (Next door neighbors) he was always at our house. All I can do is pray that someday he will see things in a different light. Yes, and he does go to a church that accepts him...
I would never on purpose be unkind to anyone because of their lifestyle....

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Sound advice. I have family that I had to take this approach with on my side and on my wifes. No they aren't gay, they are quite traditional in their view of standards amongst other things. They love to talk about their modesty, truth is my wife and I look and dress similar to them but arrive at our conclusions on these matters a whole different way. I've concluded, if were going to get along there are some subjects we will not talk about. We avoid the subject of church altogether. We focus on our commonalities, kids, guns, travel and camping mostly. Works for us.

Amen!

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

In my experience, many 'gays' seem to outgrow their 'gayness-' I have several friends from some formative years in the Montrose, and all but one are now no longer gay? So, four out of five. I think an answer to "Why are you telling me you are gay?" rhetorically speaking, provides the answer to "How do I handle..."

Meaning that this person most often may have psychological issues-who doesn't-that they are working out in their particular way? This may not be universal, by any means.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

If the person is sincere and wants to know, then inform him of the truth in a spirit of love and humility.

Homosexuals, like all of us, are born into sin with a sin nature.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Montrose. Overrated.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

It is a decent neighborhood.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

A lot of good advice on this thread so far (oh, and a couple of "iffy" ones!).

I think as Christians we sometimes struggle with being how to treat people who we believe are not only living a blatant sinful lifestyle but who are part of a sub culture determined to undermine marriage, Christian values, and force our children to be taught that homosexuality is just fine even if we believe the bible clearly teaches it is not.

The solution is to remember to hate the sin and the "movement" pushing the sin while still exhibiting Christian love, kindness, charity, etc to the persons caught up in it.

How are we going to show them Christ loves them and wants them to give their life to him if we are ugly to them or ignore them?

It is against my carnal nature to be kind and friendly to them as individuals while still taking a strong stand against the sin but I do. There is a lesbian at work who I pretty much was able to ignore for years because we did not work directly together but a few years ago her role changed and we have more interaction. She is a very personable, funny, and kind person who speaks to me every day asking how I am doing etc. Over time it has been easier for me to sincerely be kind to her.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

A gay guy trained me on my job. He was bold with me I was bold with him. We got along fine. I was sad to see him go when he left. Treat them like anyone else who is not saved. Courteously while waiting for an open door.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Everyone is born with a sinful nature that has a predisposition towards certain sinful behaviors. So... the argument that "God made me gay" holds no weight. Born with a sinful nature? Yes. Did GOD make one a sinner? No. Sin, working in our nature from conception, makes us sinners.

I treat them like any other friend. When talking about Jesus... I emphasize that HE is the only way we can find forgiveness for sin and the supernatural power that can transform us according to His will. If they are Christian, and grappling with this issue... I allow them to work out their own salvation. It's between them and the Lord.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

As has been said treat them with Christian love and when the opportunity presents its self, allow the Holy Ghost to reach out to them through you. Not with condemnation but with true humility and love.


Now for the sake of discussion, I submit that there is no such thing as a gay Christian. To be a Christian is to be Christ-like, and if one is practicing/living a gay lifestyle they are NOT Christ-like. If they are a Christian, (but lived as a homosexual before Christ) they are a new creature and have been transformed. If they are still actively living the lifestyle they have not been transformed and are not a Christian. IMO this is one of the problems with modern Christianity, in our desire to not offend and be politically correct we have become tolerant of things that God declares as an abomination to him. According to the latest polls a majority of Americans no longer have a problem with homosexuality and/or same sex marriage........I believe God is grieved!

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

I believe that sanctification is a process in which one increasingly grows into the likeness of Jesus. Therefore, we should have patience grace towards those precious souls whom GOD has filled with His Spirit. Some may not entirely let go of various proclivities until later in life. Salvation is a walk with Christ... a spiritual journey.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

All sin is an abomination to God.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Which is why I said "we have become tolerant of things" (plural) that are an abomination to God.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Yes, too many churches have become "tolerant" of sin.

I think we need to clarify the difference between tolerance... and patience.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

:thumbsup:thumbsup:thumbsup

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Such an AWESOME statement!

It is my experience that it is best that IF your "gay CHRISTIAN friend" doesn't think it is wrong for him to be gay, THEN don't be friends with him.

Cut him off.

I think we need to clarify the difference between acquaintances and friends.

This person is different from most other sinners that don't pretend to be a practicing and faithful Christian. I would hold such an acquaintance closer to me that fit into that category than a self-professing Christian that has embraced any sin as right.

They are deceived and are in danger of a judgement worse than the infidels who have never known God.


Seriously, you gotta be careful.
Ungodly compromises to befriend someone are just as sinful as any other sin.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

As a child, I had NO CLUE what a bonafide 'homosexual' was. I only knew that it was an adbomination to God to be a FAG, or a HOMO, or a QUEER. words that came across the pulpit many times in my young life. My family had no dealings with any homosexuals, nor did we have any in our family circle. (That we KNEW about). This lifestyle was talked about with disgust, venomous words were used to describe them, and the word 'hate' was used in the same sentence as 'homo' quite a bit.

Imagine my surprise when, in my 40's I had to rub elbows with a co-worker that was openly gay. Six months after I got that job, he got a better offer from a company and he asked me to go with him and be his assistant. I jumped at the opportunity. Best boss I ever had. We are 'friendly' to this day. He knew that I didn't agree with his lifestyle, but we decided to agree to disagree- in an effort to continue to be friends. I rarely see him anymore, but if I saw him tomorrow, I could hug his neck and eat lunch with him.

Since that time, I have had several folks in my family 'come out'...I hurt when I see the way they are treated by the old time Pentecostals in our family. You will never win someone that you have embittered. It will never happen. When you refuse to come to family get-togethers, and Christmas dinners, or weddings, or funerals- because 'they' are going to be there- YOU have the problem, not 'THEM'.

Is the fact that I treat them as the family they are, a sign of compromise and tolerance? NO. It's simple courtesy. A word that I fear is swiftly disappearing among some circles in the Apostolic movement.When I hug their neck and say, "I love you"- they know I mean it. Because I DO. In actions, and in words. I am NOT saying that I love the way they are living. I love THEM, the human being that they are. We ALL have sinned and come short- God help us ALL- none of us have yet MADE IT to glory.

Just my two cents worth.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

:blink

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

This needs to be quoted AGAIN. :)

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

I pray that your brother or your sister, or your cousin NEVER come 'out'. YOU, will NEVER win them to Christ.
God, help you and bless you with some compassion. Worse yet- what if your CHILD chooses this lifestyle? What will you do then?? :(

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

I never noticed the poster said gay CHRISTIAN friend. Jeremy is absolutly right. We are to have NO COMPANY with one who calls himself a BROTHER but is practicing fornication.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Yet, some sit under pastors practing fornication.

:couch

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

Back to the original question of "How do you deal with a gay friend". If you are stumped and need to buy some time and the gay friend is male I suggest giving him a gift of either Marilyn Monroe or Judy Garland's greatest movies on DVD or a CD of the "Best of Broadway Musicals". He will love you forever.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

uh oh.....

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

:smack

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

At a distance.

Re: How do you deal with a gay friend?
 

I agree with you, such associations tend to give evidence of whether one is a beliver in Christ Jesus or not, I'm talking about us, not them.

One of my best friends son has "come out", we were all shocked and in unbelief, we have cried together and prayed together, been angry together. God is faithful, and the story in not complete.