Writing a letter to my pastor
 

Most of you are aware of the decision my wife and I are wrestling with on wether or not to leave our church to begin assisting a small, struggling church nearby.

I recently shared all the "logical" reasons for such a move, how it could be beneficial to the struggling church and to my family. But of course i also shared concerning other "pressures" of late that have expedited this decision.

My pastor is a very busy man. Besides pastoring, he is also our District Superintendent, and he is on the General Board. He is gone a good bit. Before or after church never seems to be a good time to catch him. So i am considering sending him our "proposal" in letter or email form, asking him to review the info at his leizure, and then talking to us personally about it after he has had time to assimilate the information.

Do you think this approach is acceptable?

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

If he doesn't have time to talk to you, then do you really have time to talk to him?

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

No.

Don't run away from this difficult situation. It will only that much stronger of vessel for use by The Master if you learn this lesson now. Learn it now, pass the test, and graduate to the next level.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

They are both able and should be willing to MAKE the time for each other.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

Just send him a text..... :sly

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

Brothers, it is not a question of running away. It is a question of saving him time, so that if we do have to talk to him before or after a service, he will already have assimilated the information. Thus we can cut right to the chase.
Otherwise i will have to rush. He will have to rush. etc

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

While I think it is a good approach, considering his schedule or lack of availability, it might also be harder on you when both of you finally meet to talk. You wrote that the letter would ask that he review the info at his leisure and then talk with you once he has had some time to assimilate the information. That could be risky for you.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

True.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

be careful how you word things. your emotions dont come accross when you write, and such a note will put him in a defensive position when reading.


I would also not make the letter long and drawn out. Hit the high points, and insure your "tone" is concilitory.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

I recommend having someone you trust read it in advance of your sending it to him. They can tell you objectively if your tone hits right and/or if your words might be perceived in a way you do not intend.

(That is, IF, you go the letter route. I think it has its pros and cons.)

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

Dear Pastor,

It's been real.

Love,

Originalist

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

I would recommend that you try to call him and schedule a face-to-face first. You know he is busy but your assumption that he won't have time is leading you to go to a more impersonal approach which increases the possibility he will perceive it as disrespectful. Besides, communicating clearly with your pastor seems to be very important to you and you probably don't want to second-guess if you could have done things differently/better in the future.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

I would talk with him...no matter how busy he is he is your pastor and he has an obligation to meet with you unless he says he does not have time...if that be the case then in my way of thinking send him a nice card saying you were sorry he could not meet with you and inform him and thank him for being your pastor...try to leave on the best terms possible...

What kind of ........ is this? You don't know if he should stay or move on.

He needs to prayerfully make a decision that is best for him and his family.

I hope I am wrong but I see the pastor glancing at the letter before he tosses it into the garbage bin. Then preaching about rebellious people who like to church hop.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

And you know this!!!!! After we left our pastor preached on spiritual authority for 6 months.....Glory!!!! :woot

Nothing like being sermon fodder :happydance

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

Breaking up is hard to do.

Nobody likes getting a 'Dear John' letter.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

:heeheehee

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

If he cant find time for the saints he is no Pastor at all. A Pastor is not a sermon machine. He is supposed to be a SHEPHERD. If he has no time to fellowship the saints who want fellowship he is a hireling.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

This is wisdom in love... as we've come to expect from Sis. Alvear. :)

we don't agree on much...

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

I think face to face is best if you really feel you owe him some sort of explanation.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

You are right in that I don't know if he should stay or move. The Lord knows if he should stay or move.

This brother knows what I think and realizes it is what I think, and he knows that I didn't haphazardly formulate the opinions I have expressed to him publicly and privately.

You know I am not a haphazardly-giving-unscriptural-advice kind of guy. You know I take certain things quite seriously, especially things I have went through or am going through.

I know that there is a right way and a wrong way to go about doing things. Doing the right thing the right way leaves very little room for doubt, second-guessing, and regret.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

I wouldn't write a letter, email or text, but would let him know that it was NECESSARY that you personally speak with him, if he refuses, then move on and let your new pastor deal with him.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

:highfive

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

I agree with Algae. The letter is a bad idea.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

First thing first, I see a lack of confirmation, are you just a spiritual teenager experiencing friction with Dad?

Are you stupid?

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

I would send him an email saying it's important that you speak to him personally, perhaps mentioning the topic of "concerning our church membership", and ask when he is available within x time frame. Would not just do it by letter.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

From my experience it is far better to have a face-to-face talk. Surely if you request a meeting, your pastor will make time for you. You should at least make the effort. If he refuses to make time for you he isn't much of a pastor, and you are certainly justified in leaving.

It's too easy for words on paper to get twisted out of context. I've seen situations where portions of a letter were read aloud from the pulpit and the writer was not there to defend himself... of course, your spoken words can be misconstrued also.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

Just write a Facebook post on his wall :)

JUST KIDDING........

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

lol

Where have you been hiding?

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

If your pastor doesn't make time for you, you know for a fact you owe him nothing.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

A well written, respectful letter is appropriate, you can express yourself fully without being intimidated. It could very well help your pastor in his growth if you can articulate clearly the issues. He may not respond very well to your boldness, but he will remember what you have said, and it could bring change over time in his leadership. Focus on "clear" and "respectful", and honestly say what you have to say.

Then plan on where you go next, because this relationship is not likely to continue, but it is better than just disappearing. JMHO

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

That is a risk, but if his leadership is consistently bad, others already know how it really is, leadership many times just fool themselves.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

Communication is often difficult between father and son, each having a different viewpoint.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

We once had a pastor that would avoid personal meetings like the plague!! So, like I said the written word could help the pastor to grow, respectful, but clear. Pastors are supposed to be servant leaders, and if they cannot communication with those that they serve, then they need to realize it is not there calling and find another vocation. As soon, as possible, because this type of leadership is very harmful.

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

My recommendation was not a vindictive "Dear John".

Re: Writing a letter to my pastor
 

Well, yes! But that is beside the point. I actually see the Lord's hand in all this and he should stay.

What you think you see doesn't matter.