Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love..
 

http://www.amazon.com/Unhooked-Young...words=unhooked

I just finished reading this book. It is written by a feminist but was a really, really good book. It is shocking what young people are doing today but this woman gives the young people some advice about holding back. It is not the Christian perspective of holding back (no sex before marriage), but she sounds quite conservative in her advice to these young women because of what she learned about their experiences and how these experiences are hurting them.

I read the book because I wanted to understand today's youth. It is amazing the pressure they are under. Anyway, I wanted to share it. It will change some of your thinking.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

I've not read the book, but I've seen articles about this very thing recently in several different magazines, where people who have lived the lifestyle of "free sex" etc., and the damaging effects it has had on them. The interesting thing, as you mentioned with this author, is that they are talking about these effects in a secular way, not necessarily mentioning a religious belief, but just observation.

Several generations have listened to these lies, and it is great to see that people are finally standing up against the lies and speaking out about the fall out that believing these lies causes.

I'm curious - does the author summarize what she thinks should be done in order to bring about change?

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

She does talk about changes that individual women should do. For example, she says that feminism shouldn't mean that women can do whatever men do (like having free sex as if that's what women want just because men want it) but that women should be very picky and feel empowered to do what is good for us as women which sometimes means saying no. (She thinks pre-marital sex is okay in the context of a relationship.)

She also wants to see more discussion on college campuses rather than the passing out of condoms and "safe sex" being the only concerns and that the discussions need to include the emotional damage being done to women. She talks about how women's chemical make-up causes an attachment that men don't feel when they have sex (their chemistry is different) which causes this emotional damage to women engaging in free sex.

The whole book was interesting reading about the damage to women free sex causes from the secular viewpoint.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Thanks for posting, ILG. I'd also be interested in reading this book.

:thumbsup

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Let me know if you do and what you think!

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

I am going to see if I can pick that up on Friday. If not, I'll order on Amazon. I'll let you know. :thumbsup

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

ILG, Just purchased the book today. I'll let you know what I think about it. It was less expensive ($5.00 less) at Amazon than my local bookstore. :thumbsup

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Okay, just finished the book. My take away from the book, although it wasn't particularly eye opening:

1. Hooking up began in the porn industry.
2. Children from stable Christian families are less likely to hookup.
3. The author appears to be focusing, mainly, on high achievers, which means, our brightest are without morals who want to lead our country.
4. Hooking up is mainly revenge on the male - something that Beyonce is pushing today.
5. My brother attended Duke University for his Masters in Mechanical Engineering - I have questions for him. lol

A few quotes from the book:

1. "The problem is, relationships are never perfect. Additionally, relationships take time and effort, and girls have little of either. So rather than settle for a relationship that is maybe sixty percent terrific, girls hook up beginning in high school because it's the only activity they can possibly manage and comes with no great expectations. By the time they get to college, hooking up may have become their definition of a relationship, and much of the college environment support it.

2. "But I've been thinking. If we deny chivalry to keep from feeling indebted, but then give ourselves to a guy to keep from feeling guilty doesn't that just leave us no option but to feel completely used?"

3. "Recently, the federal government's drive to force abstinence-only curricula into the schools has limited the ability of public-school teachers even more to engage their students in any kind of discussion about sex, including sex and love.

This isn't true, but as the author references Hillary Clinton and Nancy Pelosi, I wouldn't expect her to do anything other than support a liberal agenda.
4. "We older feminists need to elaborate on our earlier message about equality. We need to tell them that it isn't a question of the right to act like men. It is the opportunity to choose whether to do that, based on what they - and not some guy or even their best friend - know is right for them.

They need to hear that being equal doesn't have to mean being the same. Being equal means being able, as men are able, to choose to live and love and even lead the country in a way that is consistent with their values. That is liberation."

My observation - The feminist "values" are still in question, but the quote is a good try on her part. It sounds reasonable, but it doesn't play out that way in real life. You can't make yourself equal to a man no matter how hard you try. We are wired differently. And her book shows that women come away hurting more from that experience than a man.

5. The author devotes two pages to referencing statistics on STD's. "Several girls interviewed in this book were being treated for some kind of sexually related infection and most of them knew at least on infected girl."

6. The last sentence of the book - "Unhooked is not really about having less sex. It's about having more love - as annoying, foolish, and impractical as love can be."

She, of course, had to appeal to her base, the liberal feminists, so that she wouldn't lose her place on the shelf in the world of journalism.

So, the book is basically instructing teens in secular society - hookup, but bring your numbers down from 18 or 20.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

So, the book didn't offer hope or advice to the girls, just observations?

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

The author is basically telling the girls to own their own body. That is the advice she offers them.

I read it because I paid for it, but I kept looking at how many pages I had to go so I would be finished. It wasn't progressing into anything of value for me.

Kind of reminded me of picking up Cindy McCain's book - Dirty, Sexy Politics. I only purchased the book because it was on sale at Barnes and Noble for $2. I finished the book, walked by the trash bin and threw it away. She is a piece of work and the book shows it. That's all I was wondering - Who is Cindy McCain? LOL!

As ILG stated in her first post, the book isn't coming from a Biblical point of view, so I would haven't expected any other advice to be given.

I ordered the book thinking I would glean something of value, but I didn't. IOW, it's not a book I need on my book shelf for any type of future reference, hence, it's not beneficial for "my" library. Others may disagree. The books I add to my shelves are books that I think - I will need that information at some point. This book is not one of them.

ILG can post the things that she agreed with or liked about the book. I am thinking we may have come away with a different impression. Just a hunch. LOL!

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

I think I need to clarify this. We do need to own our own bodies, but she comes at it saying, "You decide when to give yourself to a man. If you are good with how you feel, it's okay then. Respect yourself in that way."

From a Biblical perspective, I wouldn't teach this to my daughter. I would discuss the beauty of waiting until you found the one who is to be your husband. After all, regardless of choice, is a Christian parent going to teach something other than what the Bible instructs?

And whether or not a child experiments when obtaining their freedom, do I back away from Bible instruction? I would say no. I would try to keep the dialogue open through the process to help keep them grounded.

That is why I say, she offers advice to the secular world.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

TYPO - My initial post has Cindy McCain, who is Meghan's mother. The book was written by Meghan.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

And advice to the secular world is that you are in charge of your own destiny, and you need to control your own body, and not let anyone else have the say over it, which is the typical message one hears out there anyway, I believe.

You might be interested in reading this book, written dealing with the same basic subject, but from a Christian perspective: Unmasked by Jim Anderson. http://www.amazon.com/Unmasked-Expos...y+jim+anderson

In my opinion, this book is incredibly powerful, and explains why so many women let their bodies be the gauge of their self image, and even better - it offers hope. Not just secular opinion, but real, genuine hope.

The author of the book held a conference in our area a year ago, and it was one of the most powerful services I had been in. There wasn't a dry eye in the place. There were many testimonies from women who had been healed from severe emotional abuse, trauma, and lifestyles. I do highly recommend this book.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Thanks, Kept. The book describes exactly what I would be looking for on the subject. It would be great to read this after Unhooked. I'll see if I can get this locally. If not, next time I order something on Amazon, I will put this on the list as well.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

We have given this book to several of my daughter's friends. One girl broke up with her boyfriend immediately after reading the book, and thanked my daughter and I profusely for the book. I believe it has a life changing message. And I might add - the boyfriend was wanting her to do just what boys typically want girls to do, and she was struggling. I believe this book made a difference by giving her the strength to say no.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

:thumbsup Gotta run, but I will call and see if I can pick this up tomorrow.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Honestly, this is one of those books that I believe you'll want more than one copy to keep. We have bought quite a few, and passed them out to girls we know. I could be wrong, because everyone sees things differently, but I wouldn't be surprised if this was a book that you went back and ordered more, because you thought of others who could use the message this book offers to help them.

And this book also delves into the importance of a father in a girl's life. The role a father plays in a girl's life determines a lot in what direction her life takes.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Meghan is a frequent guest on a local radio station here in the Phx area. I stopped listening to the station cause I can't stand listening to her. :lol

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

This wasn't directed to me, but as a father with daughters, I'll put this on my book list to read. Thanks for sharing. :)

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Actually, fathers definitely would benefit from reading this book as well :thumbsup Let me know what you think about it if you get to read this book.

You might check with your library and see if they can get it, I have been pleasantly surprised by books that I've been able to get at the library, including Christian ones.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Agree with your points.

My sister has a doctorate in Educational Psychology. However, we are unable to discuss these types of issues. ;)

Agreed, but it's pretty great that a liberal is opposed to what is happening and sees a need for change!!

I think it shows an interesting backfiring of the feminist agenda.


Sure. And she believes it besides.

Yeah, that's probably true, but from a conservative standpoint, I found it a fascinating read of what the feminist agenda and the porn industry have done to a generation of youth.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Basically what I gained from reading the book is what is causing this problem in the epidemic sense. Interestingly, she names feminism and the porn industry. I got a lot out of reading the book simply because she is singing our song from a feminist perspective. When a feminist says basically "There is a problem and, well, feminism is a big part of that" that's pretty good! I think she can be a help to young women who are way out there having sex and hooking up like wild. They need a moderate feminist voice, because they are not likely to listen to yours or mine. However, I think this is a book for parents to read to understand the whole of the problem. I gained from reading it and will be keeping a copy of it.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

It did offer advice to very liberal girls who are hooking up already. For me, it was more about the observations that I found interesting.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Yes, I think I was pretty clear on that from the beginning. ;)

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

We didn't have this at my local bookstore, so I ordered it from Amazon. My daughter has been trying to locate Little Women with Winona Ryder which seems to be hard to find, and since her birthday is coming up, I added it to my order. I'll let you know what I think after I read it.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Except that I wasn't very convinced she was being honest when the last sentence, by her husband, stated, "Unhooked is not really about having less sex. It's about having more love - as annoying, foolish, and impractical as love can be."

I don't really see how that solves anything. Although, from a secular point of view, I suppose not acting like a bunch of rabbits helps society a little. :heeheehee

Some of the girls in the book did "care or love" the person they were being intimate with and the sex partner didn't love them back. So, really, outside of a marriage commitment, her advice is still going to bring a world of hurt.

As long as their agenda, for the Left, is focused on abortion, it shows they are not trying to change anything, internally. All of the Liberal media champions this issue with every ounce of breath they can breathe.

It's sad, that's for sure. Remember recently, Belle Knox, who attends Duke University, very proud of her porn career? I remember when UT students were expelled for dancing in strip clubs. Not anymore.

She was basically saying that these kids have misunderstood the purpose of the feminist movement and agenda, but I don't buy it. I don't think you can be moderate while saying, "It's not about having less sex...." JMO.

It is still the age old fight against a conservative view and a liberal - abstinence and prevention. Whichever camp you are in, that is going to be your view and the subject you will focus on when writing a book.

Right, I did state that you said that in your first post - "The interesting thing, as you mentioned with this author, is that they are talking about these effects in a secular way, not necessarily mentioning a religious belief, but just observation."

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Awesome. I'll look forward to your opinion :)

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

I do agree that at least it appears from your observations, and PO's is that this particular book was admitting flaws, and cracks in the feminist armor, which is a huge start. We can hope that the author will continue to move away from the feminist agenda to a more conservative viewpoint and understanding.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Well, we're on the same side here, PO. The main difference is that I enjoyed the book and you didn't! LOL!

I just got done reading another book that I loved and you would probably hate called The Faith Club!

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Since my sister is a very liberal feminist, and would maybe think the author was being too conservative, it did me good to try and understand a different point of view than my own while still affirming what I believe, which is that "hooking up" is not a healthy thing to do.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

I didn't dislike the book, ILG. I just didn't see anything being resolved, but I certainly didn't feel I wasted my time reading it. So that's a good thing, right? :highfive

Anyway, I am going to use your book and Kept's book as a teaching source in the future. I should receive Kept's recommendation sometime next week.

When I read the title of this book when you first mentioned it, this review at Amazon is what I, initially, felt would be involved with the book. Would you agree or disagree with the comments?

"All told, it was evident that each author, to varying degrees, was seeking to formulate and customize their religion making their God and their faith what they found most comfortable and what one might call "sacrificially friendly" (not requiring more of themselves than what they were willing to give). If this is "faith" in the 21th century, then it is no wonder people find such faith unsatisfactory, hypocritical, contradictory and severely lacking."

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

I'm glad you don't feel you wasted your time. :)

Hmm, I'm not sure I even understand what this person is saying, but maybe. I got a number of things out of the book. I learned what faith meant to a Jew, a Muslim and an Episcopalian. I saw them struggle in different ways with dialogue, opening up to each other and defining their faiths. I don't have to agree or disagree with any of the three authors to appreciate their perspectives. I thoroughly enjoyed the book.

Re: Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Lo
 

I think that if they weren't strong in their faith, I wouldn't really be interested. So, were they?

I like a Joan of Arc - she didn't mess around with her faith. I can get behind someone like that. :heeheehee