A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

With health declining, and we are encouraged to pre plan our funeral, what are your thoughts on a Morning visitation and an afternoon burial. Considering the family and not prolonging the sadness by prolonging the ineventable.

As I know you all so well, you will be kind and considerate with your answers.
:(

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Sis might I ask what age range you fall into?

I'm totally all for sparing friends and family emotional trauma.

I'm a organ donor and I'm going to be cremated. It's cheaper and just less fuss.

Nothing wrong with doing your own thing.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

What exactly is "visitation"? Is that a memorial service, open/closed casket, etc?

Nothing wrong with a single service: memorial service then everyone goes to the grave site and the burial.

OR one service at the graveside.

It's cheaper and more convenient for everyone.

Most I have been to involve a service at church or the chapel, then everyone goes to the graveside and the burial takes place. Either that, or a public memorial service with a private burial (immediate family only) later in the day after a reception.

The burial helps provide finality and closure for the grieving, I personally would not want a lot of time between a memorial and the burial (me personally).

If by visitation you mean just an open/closed casket with time for friends and family to "pay their respects", it can be kept for say 1 or 2 hours, followed immediately by the memorial and/or burial service. Thus not too much time in between for grieving loved ones to get despondent or overwhelmed by it all.

But really, it depends on the personalities of the family survivors: what would fit them and also be a fitting and suitable way to honour the departed?

Food always helps, too. Seriously.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

We are both past 70, and my husband has numerous health issues, and I have been thinking on these things.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Esaias, the Latter is what i'm considering, and food does help and the church family usually complies with this. We live in a community near tons of family members, most congregate and become reacquainted those they have not seen for a time. Almost like a family reunion.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Hi Miss Scarlett , I think keeping it to one day is good. I always like taking the procession to the cemetery as it is a nice tradition. I think some families split it among two days so everyone can attend the visitation in the evening and then the funeral is in the morning for those who are closer friends and relatives and can attend. Some of the more recent funerals I've been to are in the evening with visitation prior and then the immediate family has a graveside service the next day.

My parents are up in their eighties and just mentioned they are going through the process so I took an interest in your question. My Mom said one thing for sure is no drums or guitars!

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

I think a couple of old fashioned favorite gospel songs accompanied by a Piano would be a winner.

But considering you are responsible for having a grave dug, visiting the funeral home and making all arrangements is tough on an emotional family.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Lately at our church, we have had the wake and the service on the same day/night. It is easier all they way around...

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Yes it is, and it's so stressful it's easier not to linger on and on. I still like visitation and service in the church. It's so handy and some families stay all night. Now our churches are beginning to lock up just like FH's do.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Then your plans sound good to go, just need to make sure visitation is long enough to allow everyone a chance to do their thing.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Yes, thank you

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Most funerals I have attended have had the visitation in the evening, the funeral the next day (late morning or early aftetnoon) with the graveside ceremony happening immediately after the funeral.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Yes Jermyn, that's been the habit in our community for years, but few are starting with the one day service, and it appealed to me, and I want to go that way too. Its not possible for some not to know about it there's so many forms of communication now.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Myself, I like the one day visitation/funeral. Probably costs less too.
I think also, having it all at your church cuts the cost even more.
A few of my family members have requested to be cremated...yet another
cost saver.

It really is a good idea to preplan your own funeral, that way you
can have it just like you want it.

Re: A One Day Visitation and Funeral
 

Miss Scarlet O'hara, I think this should be your decision and unless having it all on the same day puts some kind of hardship on friends or family there is no reason not to do it.

The one problem I do see with it is that for casual friends it is much easier to go to an evening "visitation" (that is what we call the viewing here in the South) because we can do it after work. That allows folks to pay respect to someone without actually having to take off work to attend the funeral.