America the ??????
 

My wife has almost a year in as a child abuse investigator. There have been some horrific stories.

4 mnth old broken clavical etc.

Dad making his boys squat for hrs as a punishment.


Just to scratch the surface.

Yet these abusers are allowed to continue to have babies. Given the opportunity to get the same abused children back. ONly to be repeat offenders.

This is messed up. All the while people who would step in and take children and love and care for them are overlooked because they can't afford the ridiculous high cost of adoption. Even the UPCI operation is about $10,000 and that was 5 years ago.

The children are the ones who suffer while adoption pimps benefit from gov. resources. Wonder what would happen if after the parents went through the proper background checks they were given a child for free?

the thing that makes my head spin is that i have heard horror stories of parents accused one time by some neighbor and they are in the system forever and loose their kids with no real evidence and the kids even sideing with the parents.

then these other knuckle heads with multiple trips to the doctor, with broken bones and the kids clearly in fear, get to keep theirs. stupid.

I've done CPR on babies that have been killed by their parents. Leaves one mumbling for day!!!!

isn't that the truth! I've seen that happen countless times. The system is sick:ranting I knew of a couple who was split up. The mom's boyfriend held the kids down and pierced their ears himself, against the childrens will. The dad tried to get full custody and courts said that the children weren't hurt and they needed to be with their mom...and furthermore, they said the dad was too strict because he had curfews on his children....... these things don't make sense....I know this is sooo small , considering the major abuse that does happen, but it is another example of how the system is.:ranting :ranting

I understand.

I do have to say know that I'm looking at it from the side of an investigator its a little different. They have mandates that have to be met. Mandates that were put into law by "us". These investigators are under an extreme amount of pressure and case load. All the while powers thatbe will not hire and will not give raises.

We also have to remember that the system that you are speaking of is the judicial system in which the investigators have no control.

I know that....but how is it the real abusers seem to be let off or given more and more chances and those who don't abuse have their children taken away... Like a thread or topic that was started about California wanting to take overweight children away from their parents... Were would the real harm be? Taking a child away from the safety and comfort, love of his family would be totally devasting for a child. They would place them in a home with strangers........that is scary for a child and would mess them up WAY more so than being over weight.....I know, investigators are just doing their job.....I understand....but it is crazy.

I'm sure that each case has its own uniqueness (?) and I can only speak to what I have experienced. But I believe you would be hard pressed to find 1 investigator that enjoys ripping children from their homes.

My wife has been broken down many times, its a very hard job.

My whole gripe today though is not about the DCFS situation. Its about the adoption pimps who want to make it virtually impossible to adopt. Especially when kids are sufferring.

how you dont do CPR on the parents until their rib cage is broken and their lungs exploded is beyond me. You are a better man than I.

Some friends of mine could never have children soo they began to adopt. It is beautifu how it works out for the children...They have only adopted on child as a baby. The others were from broken home and some bad situations. They have taken these mistreated unloved children and given them a family and these children have the wonderful joy of knowing who Jesus is!!!!

I dont know how to seperate these? the system is the system. but I agree that the adoption process is insane.

I'm not for sure if we are on the same page.

State investigators have no control over the judges. The man that required his child to squat for hrs represented himself and put his own children on the stand. They couldn't stop that.

Investigators have 24hrs to respond with protective custody or a safety plan. 24 hrs to make a decision of that weight. I think that people get confused to what PC actually is. Most of the time its temporary. But if thye left them in the home and something happened what do you think would happen.

Yes the adoption process is insane but I don't think the majority of the problem is the system. But adoption pimps (can you tell I like that term) Again the UPCI jont quoted us a price of $10,000 to adopt a child. Crazy

I wish I could remember the line in a song on the Casting Crowns CD...something about the US being a nation where we save the trees but kill our children...

same mentality gives abusers back their children and allows them to continue to have the right to create more helpless children...

so, are these companies at fault if one of these childrens gets abused in any way, after they are adopted out?

I don't see how. A parent signs their rights away in an adoption. I would think they would do similar

ok...I was just wondering that in case they would be, then money would be tied up in insurance or something....oh welllll. I guess they make mega bucks off of these children..........

Kutless, I agree with you completely about the ridiculous price that it costs to adopt an infant today (you refer to the adoption pimps. I agree that it is disgusting that it has become such a lucrative business for some people!).

I do have to say tho, that I can't blame the adoption pimps when children are abused by their parents. In 99.9% of cases, these are children whose parents wouldn't have given them up at birth anyway. These are the people who consider themselves "good parents". I had a sister-in-law like that. She'd pass out drunk on the floor and leave my baby niece laying on top of the stove. DCS would come in and find this and call me to come and get the children once again. Finally after about the 3rd time, my brother got smart and took the girls and left her. All the time, she was declaring to everyone what a "good mom" she was!! PLEASE!!

We have 2 children who are adopted. Neither of them were babies when we got them. One was 3 and the other 17 months. The one who was 3 had been sat out in the snow in his sleeper for over an hour by his birthfather at age 2 months, who then abused the mother. She refused to leave him, so lost her son. But it took over 2 years to get parental rights terminated by the courts. Our other son never went home with the birth parents. He went home directly with the bio-grandma.

Before we got our boys, we did foster care. I can tell you stories of the horrors of the system. I give your wife a tremendous amount of credit for doing the job she does. I honestly can't think of a harder job out there. Seriously!!

Thanks Sister M. I have told my wife multiple times we would adoopt again if we could afford it.

Of course some of that cost is also daycare. OUCH!! Another thread all together.

LOL. Another thread close to my heart - since my occupation is a Home Daycare Provider :)

My Lord you must have nerves of steel!!

LOL. I hear that from people all the time. But I've done this for the past 20 years. I've "raised" lots of kiddos. It's been a great ride and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I could have worked a high $$, high profile job. But this allowed me to stay home with my own two sons and always be here when they come in the door from school. And the rewards I get from listening to kids tell me after they're grown that the best years of their lives were the ones they spent here are worth everything. And best of all, there are several families who came here completely unchurched. Today they are strong, active, fine Christian families. THAT can't be bought for any price.

I'd go insane doing that job... either that or end up in jail for 'abusing' the abuser.:drawguns

Amen Ronzo! I wouldn't last one day in the ER. I be puttin a whoopin on any of these freaks if they came in.

I hear you on that one!

We got a call one time from DHS asking us to pick up a 4 month old baby from the hospital. He was being released into foster care along with his 3 year old sister. We were the foster parents.

the story on the 4 month old was that he had a bi-lateral skull fracture. The mother was declaring that it had happened because the 3 year old picked him up and dropped him on the floor. The doctors were all saying that it was impossible for it to have happened that way. They said the only way it could have happened was if someone had picked him up by the feet and SLAMMED him up against the wall or a table - hard!!

During the time that we had the children, I had to take them to their county for a visit with their mother. It was unbelievable. She pulled up and parked behind me. She ran to my van and reached in, grabbing the 3 year old, mushing all over her and telling her how much she'd missed her. But she wouldn't even look at the baby. I carried him into DHS and left him laying in his snowsuit in the visitation room with her and the 3 year old. When I came back an hour later, she had never taken the baby's coat off at all. Hadn't checked his diaper, fed him his bottle. NOTHING. But she SCREAMED at me that I was not going to take her kids away from her!!! I calmly assured her that I did not want her children. I was there to take care of them while she got help. Then she'd have them back (all the while hoping that no judge would ever give them back). But the judge did give them back.

I saw the mother and the baby at McDonald's 5 years later. The baby, now 5 years old, was just beginning to cruise around furniture. He was still in diapers. He wore glasses as thick as Coke bottles. He will never be "normal". The damage was too extreme.

My eyes have been opened of late to the harsh reality which is ouor judicial system. These DCFS investigators see and hear the worst of the worst only to watch judges put children right back into the same situation.

Any body know the laws of other countries concerning child abuse?

I don't know the laws of other countries. And I don't even know if this guy was lying to us or not. But at one point we had 4 little foster children from Guatamala. They spoke almost no English. What a fun one that was!! (NOT!) They were the children of a migrant worker. This man had a daughter from his first marriage (age 7) and 3 children from a second marriage (ages 4,2 and1). The 7 year old was left with the responsibility for taking care of the 4 ,2 and 1 year olds while the parents worked in the fields every day. One day the dad came in and found that the 7 year old was out playing and not watching her siblings. So he tied her hands together and hung her by her wrists from the rafters in their shack. Then he took a belt to her bare back. That is the reason that all the children were removed from him.

When he was asked about why he would do such a thing, his reply was that he was scared for the little ones and needed to disciple the older one so she would understand how important it was to watch the babies. Then he told the judge that this is how people discipline their children all the time in his country. The judge about freaked!! He shouted at him, "That is NOT how we do it in this country!" So the man asked for them to teach him a different way to discipline. He was dead serious about it. After he got his kids back, the 7 year old stole a pack of gum from Wal-Mart. He took her right up to DFS and told them that she needed discipline, but he didn't know how to handle it. But he sure learned that day :)