The Truth
 

So, the truth. It's essentially out. So I'll just come out with it. Yes, I am larry_boy_44. Yeah, this is an alias...

No I don't know why my pre-emptive ban to this place was lifted (yes, I was banned before I stepped foot here). I'm not sure why my ip is different (or even if it is). Yes, I could fake it, but it never mattered enough to me...

So why come back? Well, in part because I was bored. In part because I could use it. I needed the apostolic influence, because I don't have it anywhere else... and why? Because I can't bring myself to step foot where I was (or have been)... I don't know where to go, what to do... nothing makes sense, what little I have I hold as tight as I can, but I don't know where to take it anymore...

Home... its an illusion... I haven't felt at home since I was 14... gave a crying speech about how this would always be home and I'd be back one day... But it wasn't... I went back and it never was the same...

So where is it? I don't know... What is truth? I'm not sure anymore...

So why come to places like this? Because in theory, the truth is said to be here.. Is it? Well, from the way questions get answered here, ridicule, abuse, and eventually a ban, not really... They don't. If truth is here, its hidden and people don't want it to get out...

So what now? Well, since the ban is coming and we all know it... I'll go back into my little hole... Seek God... and hope and pray that one day something happens where I have a clue what to do and where to go with what I feel, because right now... There's nothing... and nowhere... and no one...

I'm not re-writing this a third time... Yes, its a mess, I'm a mess, of course it is...

If you wanna hit me up, feel free to check out my site, shoot me an e-mail... whatever... I'm around...

Larry
larry_boy_44 ~at~ yahoo ~dot~ com
http://www.mortalclay.net

We love you LARRY BOY!!!!

http://cgnow.com/cgnpics/LarryBoyBadApple.jpg

Larry,

The confusion you are feeling is the natural, inevitable result of refusing to be teachable.

Please go home.

Find a good church and a good pastor. SUbmit yourself to God and to His ministry.

Do a little less broadcasting and a lot more tuning in.

Realize that you don't know it all.

Praying for you that you find your way back home.

Your ban was lifted because StMatt chose to do so. He did the same for everyone not too long ago-- because he believes in giving people second chances.

As long as you can discuss things and not attack others, I see no reason why anyone would want to ban you. So don't count yourself with the banned before it happens. ;)

As for the rest of your post, Amos has given you some wise advice. I hope you'll take it. :) I'll be praying for you.

I had a good church and a good pastor... and haven't been comfortable there in a long time... I'm not even sure why... I've told myself for a long time "just submit to him, even if you don't understand, you'll get it eventually" only... I never got it more...

I appreciate the prayer...

Larry, I checked out your website. I followed the link to the forum. and then my TrendMicro virus scanner popped up a warning that this website contains a dangerous thing for my computer. Do you know about this?

I figured he was LB when he told me where he lived.......LOL!

I knew LB was alive and well. My spirit of suspicion was correct.

no... if you have anything it said about it, PM it to me, let me know... I don't know of any virus stuff that is on there...

I guess I should have looked at your posts before asking if I smelled you, LOL.

yeah... :killinme

LB Amos gave you good advise. I promise I will pray for you. Becoming isolated is not healthy spiritually-mentally.

yeah, well, the reaction I've gotten since I admitted to being Larry Boy in this place did nothing but confirm that maybe I was right in my solitude...

because Lord knows no good is going to come from being around here and listening to the mock and ridicule lobbed my way simply because of who I am... (and, yet, I stay, hoping and praying that maybe some good can come of it)

RC, I'm glad you're here.

We want you to have a good time and be blessed.

yeah, sure you do...

LB I certainly meant NOT to mock you or be critical I think in this time of your life something has made you too sensitive. I meant in truth I will pray for you and when I read your post I prayed right then. But Amos is correct you need church just like I need church that is NOT criticism but good advise I follow myself.

LB, I'm glad you're here! We actually agreed on something yesterday on the JB thread...although I can't exactly remember what it was. :)

I know you weren't... I was more referring to the attitude I seem to be getting from the typical poster around here...

its really frustrating...

and I do appreciate the prayer...

Yes sir... I understand what you are saying.

I have been reading posts and, several times, thought... Wow!!!!! It is amazing the way things are worded sometimes. I think people sometimes forget that words mean things.

As for myself... welcome back.

Well I must say that this persona is more enjoyable reading than the LB persona before. Our little cucumber is growing up so fast, LOL.

As for the beginning post of this thread...

RC the last couple of years I've seen growth in you. I understand why you're a cynic, but now it's time to live for the Lord for yourself. Are you smarter than others? I think so, but not everyone and I think you know both of those points. Are you to smart for you own good? Right now you are. Questioning is good, but as you said on another thread His way and thoughts are not like ours. We can learn things from insects, so surely you must be able to learn from a pastor.

Don't be a victim here and don't try to be validated here. You've got a prayer closet with an ear that will hear you. Use it.

Love ya Bro.

P.S. Our life group will meet at Ellen's this Friday @ 7, hope to see you there.

thanks }=o)

:killinme lol

this might sound wierd... but it has never been living for God that I've had an issue with... I'm sure about God... I'm not always sure what exactly God wants for me... and what I feel he wants for me scares me to death (especially since sometimes it feels like no one takes it seriously, not even me... I'm not sure how)

but... my issue has always been "Can I live with the other people who live for the Lord?"... and I don't know the answer to that...

I've found an answer to a lot of my questioning, most of it is just simply trust God... I don't care how we, as men, explain things so much... Because our explanations are likely never going to be right...

for instance, creation/evolution... I have no idea how the world got here, and, really, niether does any other human... But no matter what I trust that God did it, that we're here because of him... and that's enough for me...

and I'd love to be able to learn from a pastor... It just... I don't know... for whatever reason I can't talk to him anymore and that scares me almost as much as anything else...

not trying to do either, I hope it doesn't sound like that (although it probably does sometimes)...

and I definately need to use the prayer closet more...

love ya too }=o)

and I'll be there on Friday...

I can't believe I missed this news. Well...actually I can believe it, as I have been pretty much gone for the past couple months.

Never fear, I no longer consider you my arch nemesis, LOL :friend

LB/RC,

I've been somewhat of a cynic myself in the past. If you only knew! It's not fun, questioning everything, but I did it. If you will love the truth, not caring what truth is, but wanting truth WHATEVER it is, and will continue to pray and seek it--I believe you will find it--IF, AND ONLY IF, you will not lose your respect for God, His Word, and those who minister to you in His Word. I had to set and listen to men that, at the time, I didn't agree with, didn't feel at home around, and in churches that I had almost come to think were "off the deep end," before I was able to get my feet back on the ground and start finding my way again. It's not easy. God cares, bro. He really does.

Welcome back, and I mean that sincerely.

bump