Parents!!! Please Help!!!
 

Okay, as many of you know; me and Heather are new parents. Our son is almost six months old now (my how time flies). Most of the time he is a relatively happy baby (very cuddly), but there are times when he cries and cries and cries and cries and well..................you get the picture. I am sure that the constant crying might get on some of your nerves as well. Is it okay to let the baby cry it out sometimes? I mean, does one always have to pick up the baby when he/she cries? What about when you're sleepy and it's late at night, you put him/her in the crib and he/she starts crying? Is it okay to ever just let the baby cry him/herself to sleep? Please, I need to know.

Always be on the alert for ear infections.

Even after you pick them up and they quit crying?

Ear infections or teething - -

Crying won't hurt them as long as you know that nothing else is wrong - - he's dry, full, not in pain.

Does he stop crying when you pick him up?

Yeah, Heather is usually on top of those things. And yes, he stops crying when you pick him up.

If you try to pick them up each time they cry, they will learn crying gets what they want and cry more.

My son is 14 but as a baby I let him cry himself to sleep and soon after I learned I dont have to pick him up each time he cries things started calming down at bed time. It wont be overnite but give it time and he will learn to go to sleep on his own

It might be good to first make a dr appt to make sure there is nothing like pain like ear infection making him cry, but after you know everythings ok, just let him cry himself to sleep

just my thoughts, hope it helps

Well, this is where I might be different than the newer moms - - he's learned how to get attention and crying gets him picked up.

Might experiment and just let him cry (as long as you know all is well) and in a couple nights he'll get it that you aren't going to respond and stop trying.

The doctor told us with a fever or rash. Crying is a natural process to help develope the lungs.

So if they are comfortable without the house being to coldd/hot.

Not dirty diaper, have been fedd etc.

To let them cry for a period of time is not always a bad thing...

I don't believe in letting a baby cry themselves to sleep. Some say to do otherwise is spoiling them, but my children are well adjusted and we are a close family. Whether or not that had to do with my picking them up anytime they cried is anyone's guess, but I didn't allow my babies to cry for what seemed to be no reason.

Where are pics???

See, this was what I was concerned about. I don't want to feel like a horrible parent If we don't pick him up every time.

He could be teething too.

Let's put this into perspective, as this is how I see it.

When we are upset, we cry out to God. We expect that He will pick us up.

Does this mean that we will start crying all the time just because God picks us up everytime we cry? No. We mature, just as babies do. In another year, he will know what the word NO means and things will be different.

Right now, he's just 6 months old. Hardly at an age of understanding much of anything but his wants and desires.

You don't think there might be psychological ramifications in the long run?

So, you would never just let them cry?

Not if he's cuddled and loved all day long - - however HO is on a different road here.

I will have to add that crying without tears (I'm not referring to babies who are obviously sick, but those babies that seem to be crying for no reason) is a way of communication also. They cannot talk, and even at 6 months of age, cooing is just starting.

I did allow my babies to cry without tears, but I talked to them when they did that. I didn't just ignore them and hope they would stop.

I think he is teething. Slobber gives that away, that and the fact he puts everything in his mouth. LOL!

Now see, I look at it this way - the baby IS just six months old. He wants ALL the attention and doesn't know what's good for him. You've seen a baby fight sleep - - well, a baby needs sleep, he doesn't need to fight it.

If he's loved and cared for and nothing is physically wrong with him, then he's just crying to get attention instead of going to sleep.

See post 16 for the exception to that 'rule'.

Also, if your baby is screaming, that's a sign that something is wrong, not that they are merely wanting attention.

So, you just give him everything they want at that age? Does God do that for us?

Just remember this, even though he is a baby, he is learning, and picking him up each time he cries is teaching him more and more how to get attention, and while that may be ok now it will get harder to break him from it later.
It bothered me not picking my son up but I knew it was best for him to be able to get himself to sleep and not having us always rocking / picking him up and walking with him to get to sleep

Each parent has to decide where the line is, some take it another step from yours, which means the baby gets to sleep with Mom and Dad. So after raising four I vote for a little crying to learn and grow. (Of course, taking care that it is not some other issue, as has been mentioned)

Relax, Easty a little crying will not harm the babe.

It's okay, I'm just trying to get a different perspective. We seem to always pick Benjamin up everytime he cries. I'm just hoping that this isn't unhealthy for him.

He does seem to fight sleep alot.

It's unhealthy for you - - - let him cry a bit.

I'm guessing there's a split decision between you and the Mrs. - - lol!

Especially curious babies seem to fight sleep - they are afraid they are going to miss something!

While I love my son as much as Heather, I think she's the one more likely to pick him up first. LOL!

My mom told me that I was creating a monster, allowing my kids to be held all the time and even sleep with me in my bed. But neither of them had problems.

For instance, my firstborn didn't have a crib when he was born. I had a cradle for him, but he'd cry when I put him in it. I had a playpen but he didn't like that either, even to play in. He'd cry and cry and was clearly unhappy.

For the first 6 months, he slept with me. He liked the swing and the walker, but the playpen was out. He NEVER went in one of those...LOL!

I got him a crib when he was 6 months old. He slept just fine in it the first night and every night thereafter. I had no problem letting my mom know how wrong she was....LOL!

She tried getting me to put him on a feeding schedule. I let him eat whenever he was hungry. That drove her crazy but I wasn't going to listen to him cry in hunger because he wanted to eat too early.

He didn't like hats.....never wore them until he was a teenager. This also drove my mom crazy, and she'd say that he would catch cold and such. Well-meaning older women would say this too, but he's my healthiest child.

I'm not suggesting anyone raise their kids like I did mine. What works for one won't necessarily work for another, but I'm just posting things that worked for me. If they don't work for him, that's fine. He'll find something that will.

A friend of mine had a baby three months after my son was born. Her daughter would scream all the time, even when held. She did this for like the first year of her life. Never did find out what was wrong, even though she went to the doctor all the time and such. She was just one of those screaming babies!!! I'd have found her another mom! LOL!

God does not allow us to cry alone when we are crying for Him. No, He doesn't give us what we want, but He doesn't put us in our bed and leave the room for us to cry ourselves to sleep without Him. ;)

You'll feel like a horrible parent, get used to it. If you were the best parent in the world, you'll still feel awful whenever the child suffers or stumbles. I came to conclude that that feeling was a sign of good parenting.

My oldest boy went into these massive screaming fits about a half dozen times before about 2 years of age. I would go over him with a magnifying glass trying to find a bug bite, a pin prick anything to explain his crazed screaming. We could never figure it out. Picking him up helped some, but not always. I worried that he had appendicitis or something bizarre and painful internally- nothing. The Doctor just smiled at us like we were first time parents (which we were) and that was that. Finally he stopped.

No answers no explanations. When I ask him about it now (he's a high school senior) he just shrugs. He tries to play it off like it's all part of a master plan he's been hatching since birth. When he was a toddler the little tyke used to take food from the kitchen and hide it in his room; sort of like he suspected that one day we would stop feeding him. My wife would find crackers and cookies neatly stacked up out of sight in hidden places.

Kids are weird.

And if there is, you better let HER decide what is best for Ben! LOL!

good answer.

LOL!

You obviously don't know me very well do you? LOL!

Brother, being a first-time parent isn't easy. I'd suggest having a second one right away so you can then be considered a pro! LOL!

Are you feeding him food yet?

I take it that you'd already made that decision? LOL!

A couple of weeks ago we started feeding him some baby rice and oatmeal.

which one?

Cool!

When my son was 2 weeks old, he would cry several times during the night and act hungry, but seemed to never get enough.

My doc told me to start feeding him and I did. He didn't wake up during the night after 6 weeks of age.

Neither did my daughter wake up at night after that age, but maybe it was just because she was a good kid....LOL!

To let Heather do with him what she feels is best.