Funny or Inspiring saying!
 

I thought of this while reading someone else response to a thread....

I saw this saying and found it very amusing:

"give a man a fish and he will eat for a day.... teach a man to fish and he will sit in boat and drink beer all day"

I cracked up at that....

Okay, humor me.........what have you seen or heard?

blah blah blah,,,, keep your fights on elsewhere. i wanted amusement here...not your babblings........

The pessimist complains about the wind. The optimist expects it to change. The leader adjusts the sails.
- John Maxwell

The only difference between saints and sinners is that every saint has a past while every sinner has a future.
- Oscar Wilde, author

At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.

In an office: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.

In an office: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.

http://news.securityorg.net/UserFile...ny_signs_6.jpg

I thought this was a funny sign.

'The realist breaks wind"
- Sir Exlaxicus

People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

if you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes

I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. :ernie

(Rodney Dangerfield)

That's as funny as a screen door on a submarine...

Giant Shrimp

The pessimist sees the glass half empty.

The optimist sees the glass half full.

Me? I don't even see a glass!

Small Medium At Large!

(Short Psychic on a crime spree)

As out of place as a Taco in a Chinese Buffet.

No Really, I am not married. I just know that LadyChocolate would get really mad if she heard me say that.

If you are leading and nobody's following, you are just out for a walk.

Drop kick me Jesus through the goal post of life.

You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose but picking a friends' nose could get you killed.

Mitch Hedberg Quotes:\

I order the club sandwich all the time, but I'm not even a member, man. I don't know how I get away with it.

You know, I'm sick of following my dreams, man. I'm just going to ask where they're going and hook up with 'em later.

I hate turtlenecks. Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy. All day. Like, if you wear a turtleneck and a backpack, it's like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant.
Scott Adams, Dogbert; Dilbert cartoons
US cartoonist (1957 - )


http://www.quotationspage.com/quote/35612.html

"I would never join a club that would have me as a member!"

Wasn't that Groucho Marx's line?

:friend:heart.....real cute!

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where in the world is the ceiling.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I love it!!!!!!! You go girl!!!