How do you know if you have forgiven someone?
 

And

If you forgive them does that mean you act as if nothing ever happened?
I mean f someone shot your dog out of meanness, you might forgive them but would you ever trust them around your dog again? If not does that mean you have not forgiven them?

Suppose you think you have forgiven but you really have not, how would youknow?

Does forgiveness mean you have to associate and be friends with someone that has a personality that just irritates you?

I know these are very childish questions but I really need some answers.

I once heard someone put it this way:

You know you've forgiven someone when "it doesn't matter" any more.

Meaning...if you can think about what they did, and you can honesty tell yourself "hey, it doesn't matter", then you've really forgiven them.Makes a lot of sense to me, and I keep that in mind a lot when I ask myself if I've really forgiven someone. Hope that helps somewhat.

Now, that doesn't mean you should necessarily forget what they did. For example if someone steals money from you, and later confesses, of course you forgive them. But that doesn't mean you would still leave your money or valuables around them unattended . That just wouldn't be wise, and we still have to use wisdom at all times.

thank you

I think TRF has given good advice.

You always hear forgive and forget, but that's almost impossible when you've been hurt. However, if you can forgive and allow that person/incident not to "rule" you, then you have forgiven.

You'll know if you've forgiven someone if you don't feel animosity toward that person when their name is mentioned or when you think about them. If you do feel a little bitterness or anger then you need to pray some more.

Something that has helped me is to realize who my enemy is and even though I know it was a person who did or said something hateful toward me, I know who lies behind the words and actions of that person. It helps me to keep things in perspective and easier to forgive.

God is the only one who can truly forgive and then forget. The rest of us can forgive, but other then using hypnosis or drugs, we rarely forget.

TRF seems to have a good handle on this.

lets start with Jesus as the example.

Jesus often said "you are forgiven, go and sin no more"

There was an expectation that forgivness was an oppurtunity for the transgrssor to stop their harmful behavior and live an over coming life!

How does that translate to us? well for starters, forgiving someone who has wronged you, is not a free pass for that person to continue hurting you!

Very good point

Adra, this is a link to a thread I started some time ago. the first 2 posts are long but it is all about forginess. I hope this helps.


http://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com...ead.php?t=1491