The Secret Minister
 

Are any of you afraid of ministering to others? By that I mean are any of you afraid of releasing the Holy Ghost within you to minister to others? This is a fear I have always had. For much of my early years in church, I was in and out and in and out. It seemed like I would get to a certain point in this walk, things would start to happen I didn't understand, I'd get scared and run away. No one, not even I, could understand why. I seemed to be doing just fine and suddenly I'd be gone from church for weeks at a time. Eventually, I'd go back and start things up again, only to repeat the same pattern.

It's taken me years to figure this out , but I have realized it's because I have a fear of letting God work through me to minister to others. I am not talking about pulpit ministry either. I am talking about those times when the opportunity arises for God's Spirit to use us to minister to someone's spiritual need. It could be a prayer said at just the right moment, advice that flows through us from God, sharing with someone just the right scripture they may need for them to overcome whatever battle they find themselves in, that sorta stuff.

This fear has caused me to build a shell around that spiritual tenderness I am talking about. I feel open to attack when I act on the prodding of the Spirit of God that dwells within me. One of my pastors used to always ask me, "When will the real you come out?" I still don't know, and it was years ago when he asked. I know I am still a relatively young person (40 and counting), but I feel like I am running out of time to become what God has in store for me.

Taking that first step of faith is something I have done before. It's not taking that step that bothers me as much as taking the next one, and the next one, and the next one. All I know is that I have lived in the valley for entirely too long. I gotta find the strength to start climbing that mountain again. I'm going to die here if I don't.

Re: The Secret Minister
 

I do know how you feel Rico, and I will pray that the Holy Ghost will flow through you with boldness so you can minister for the kingdom.

Re: The Secret Minister
 

Rico,

The first step to getting out of the valley, is to trust God!!! He will guide you and direct your steps. When you start walking with Him, He leads, not you. We seem to forget that. We have to take the reigns so much in the flesh (and sometimes the spirit) that alot of times we forget who's actually doing the leading.

It's not our job to lead, but it is our job to FOLLOW HIM where ever He goes. He'll give you the strength when you let go of the fear that's had you bound.

I believe you'll do it and make an awesome "minister"

Re: The Secret Minister
 

I agree.

Re: The Secret Minister
 

Give him boldness Lord.

Re: The Secret Minister
 

Good word, LadyCoon...:bliss

Re: The Secret Minister
 

Sister, the last time I cut loose and got to walkin I ended up in prison ministry. I thought the prison ministry part of it was great, but all the battles I ended up fighting because of it eventually put a whammy on me and I walked away from it. Not trying to make a comparison between the two or anything, but I am sure you know firsthand what it means to have a ministry and be under constant attack because of it. I had some serious issues with maintaining once I got there. The trip there was an easy one to make. It seemed like doors were opening left and right and the next thing I knew I was preaching and ministering to these men. It felt great because I had finally started walking in that path that God had laid out for me. Simply put, the pressure got to me. I started doing some stuff I had no business going back to and one day I realized that I was living two lives, the one at church in front of everyone, and the one away from church. I had become the one thing I absolutely can not stand, a phony. So, I walked. Been there since and this was something like 4 years ago. I had overcome my fear, started walking in the path God had for me, failed, and am now living in a state of guilt and fear. Like I said before, I am going to die here unless I can find the strength to move forward. I appreciate your advice. :)

Re: The Secret Minister
 

I grew up in church. I have had the HG from a young age. I am a fairly outgoing type person. I can usually talk about any subject with just about anybody. I have heard and been told all my life about trusting God and stepping into the moment. JUST DO IT, as the Nike advertisement says. YEAH right.

My heritage is not a good one. The devil has played that one against me for many years. My father pastored a good size church back in the late 60's and early 70's. He had a couple of affairs and left my mom and the church. My brother took over and his wife had an affair or affairs for several years. It messed with my brothers head and he stopped preaching. I have cousins that the same type of things have happened to.

I swore to God that I did not want to be like my dad or my brother. I do not want to be the one that poeple look at and look to. I don't want to have people looking at me as an example and then if I fall they all get themselves bent all out of shape and stop serving God. I have seen it happen to many times.

For this reason I understand exactly what you are going through, I think. Everytime I get walking close to God and things start happening and I start feeling things, I shut down. I go and do something stupid to ruin it so that I have to start all over again. It seems easier to just not get to that level in your walk than it does to keep starting over all the time.

The thing is, now I have kids to think about and worry about. When I was single I did not have so much to worry about. Now I have my boys and my wife and if I screw up this time I have them to deal with as well as God. God can be much more forgiving than people.

I think that the staying still in the valley and dying in the valley is similar to the man who buried the talent he had been given. If we decided to not try to make the climb then we are wasting the talent that God gave us. We have to at least try to climb. If we fall down, we have to get back up and try again. Like David. When he failed God he would repent and go at it again.

It is also good for us to remember that God does not give us a spirit of fear. Fear of God is the start of wisdom but fear like this is from the devil. This fear keeps us from doing the things that God wants us to do.

Re: The Secret Minister
 

Brother, I know exactly what you are talking about when you mention intentionally messing things up because it's easier to start over than to stay and fight! Wow! It's like you described me to a "t". Good post!

Re: The Secret Minister
 

Rico

I would say to your that this in fact is one of your purposes here (in this present time). To be a witness (this I am sure you know), all believers are called to do this. If you will do a complete study of the Bible you will find that the word LAITY does not exist. We are all called to be kings and priests in Him. Most will never speak as a pastor does before a church assembly, but the majority of the lost are not there anyway. All believers are called to minister in some sort or fashion. The LORD Bless you with wisdom and grace to do His will!

Hay muchos hispanos que aun no han escuchado el evangelio.