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-   -   Trying to make a point. (https://www.apostolicfriendsforum.com/showthread.php?t=21685)

Praxeas 01-10-2009 11:55 AM

Trying to make a point.
 
So often our friends on this forum feel they are trying to make a point. However to a lot of the rest of us they are merely trying to be inflammatory.

Perhaps the problem lies on both sides of the discussion. A poor choice of words or wording. An unwillingness to accept that persons explanation or understand the point they were trying to make (perhaps from being too defensive or overly sensitive).

Sometimes it seems the speaker really was trying to make a point AND was trying to be inflammatory. You have to realize that you just lost your point if you had one to make. You don't take points since there is no point system here. You didn't win an argument.

If you have a point to be made then you have to choose your words carefully and not with an "I don't care" attitude. This is a discussion forum. It's not intended as a "venting forum" nor a "vendetta forum".

I find it ironic that some of the people that leave in a huff demand we not call this place Apostolic laced with some nasty parting shots...when I was thinking the only problem seemed to be the word FRIENDS in the name.

Let's act like friends. Dialog is the key. Try to see how the other person is feeling. Be Apologetic. Be humble. Stop trying to be inflammatory. If you have a point, choose your words carefully. If someone was offended try to explain what you meant and be apologetic without making it the other persons fault. What do I mean? An Apology does not start, include or end with a finger pointing at the other person.

Thoughts?

ILG 01-10-2009 12:01 PM

Re: Trying to make a point.
 
Sometimes we say things and we don't know if it's right or wrong and sometimes I'm not sure that it matters. I think the best we can do is try our hardest and do our best. Sometimes that does come off a bit inflammatory. But some discussion and meeting at the bridge is better than either not meeting or being so cordial we never accomplish anything. Food for thought.

Sister Alvear 01-10-2009 12:01 PM

Re: Trying to make a point.
 
I agree...we can all be friends...

Praxeas 01-10-2009 12:01 PM

Re: Trying to make a point.
 
BTW if we were not so intent on being offended or being an offender, we might see that we all here still have a LOT of common ground.

Praxeas 01-10-2009 12:02 PM

Re: Trying to make a point.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG (Post 678451)
Sometimes we say things and we don't know if it's right or wrong and sometimes I'm not sure that it matters. I think the best we can do is try our hardest and do our best. Sometimes that does come off a bit inflammatory. But some discussion and meeting at the bridge is better than either not meeting or being so cordial we never accomplish anything. Food for thought.

Sometimes we are too busy being counter offended that someone is offended by what we said, that we can't or won't be humble enough to just understand we offended a friend, a brother or sister...a fellow saint.

ILG 01-10-2009 12:04 PM

Re: Trying to make a point.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas (Post 678455)
Sometimes we are too busy being counter offended that someone is offended by what we said, that we can't or won't be humble enough to just understand we offended a friend, a brother or sister...a fellow saint.

Sometimes that is true.

Sister Alvear 01-10-2009 12:05 PM

Re: Trying to make a point.
 
We all say we want to be like Jesus...we can become like Him drawing our circle bigger and including more people.
A lot of the times the people that scream at us the loudest really would love to be like us!
So, donīt always take things so personal and feel like we have to have the last word in everything...

Praxeas 01-10-2009 12:06 PM

Re: Trying to make a point.
 
It takes both sides...an offender and the offended...in fact sometimes maybe the offender really didn't do something wrong or at least they didn't intend to, so the offended too might be the one taking things to far. Let's remain friends, try to communicate as friends even if we are offended.

Praxeas 01-10-2009 12:06 PM

Re: Trying to make a point.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear (Post 678460)
We all say we want to be like Jesus...we can become like Him drawing our circle bigger and including more people.
A lot of the times the people that scream at us the loudest really would love to be like us!
So, donīt always take things so personal and feel like we have to have the last word in everything...

yes exactly. Don't always take things so personal!

Aquila 01-10-2009 12:07 PM

Re: Trying to make a point.
 
I think we've all been guilty of this at times. I know I'm probably the worst offender. Hey, guys, I want you to know... I still love each and every one of you. Please be patient with me, God's not through with me yet. (I hope)


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