Christian One Liners
 

Christian One Liners


Don't let your worries get the
best of you; remember, Moses started
out as a basket case.


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Some people are kind, polite, and
sweet-spirited, until you try to sit in their pews.


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Many folks want to serve God,
but only as advisors.


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It is easier to preach ten sermons
than it is to live one.


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The good Lord didn't create anything
without a purpose, but mosquitoes come close.


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When you get to your wit's end,
you'll find God lives there.


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People are funny; they want the front
of the bus, the middle of the road, and
the back of the church.


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Opportunity may knock once, but temptation
bangs hard on your front door forever.


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Quit griping about your church;
if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.


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If the church wants a better pastor,
it only needs to pray for the one it has.


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God Himself does not propose to judge
a man until he is dead. So why should you?


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Some minds are like concrete;
thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.


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Peace starts with a smile.


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I don't know why some people
change churches; what difference does
it make which one you stay home from?


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A lot of church members who are singing
'Standing on the Promises'
are just sitting on the premises.


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We were called to be witnesses,
not lawyers or judges.


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Be ye fishers of men. You catch
them - He'll clean them.


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Coincidence is when God
chooses to remain anonymous.


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Don't put a question mark
where God put a period..


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Don't wait for 6 strong men
to take you to church.


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Forbidden fruits create many jams.


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God doesn't call the qualified,
He qualifies the called.


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God grades on the cross, not the curve.


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God loves everyone, but probably prefers
'fruits of the spirit' over 'religious nuts!'


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God promises a safe landing,
not a calm passage.


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He who angers you, controls you!


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If God is your Co-pilot - swap seats!


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Prayer:


Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!


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The task ahead of us is never as
great as the Power behind us.


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The Will of God never takes you to
where the Grace of God will not protect you.


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We don't change the message,
the message changes us.


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You can tell how big a person is
by what it takes to discourage him.


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The best mathematical equation
I have ever seen:
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given.

Re: Christian One Liners
 

Very funny!

Re: Christian One Liners
 

:toofunny

Love these!!! :toofunny

Re: Christian One Liners
 

"God made Adam & Eve, not Adam & Steve"
"I got my Axe & 2 38's"

Preachers, please stop using these, they weren't funny the first time we heard 'em!!!

Re: Christian One Liners
 

:ursofunny

Re: Christian One Liners
 

I heard this one watching the Daytona 500 on Sunday: "He's so old he remembers when the Dead Sea was just sick." That made me LOL.

Re: Christian One Liners
 

Someone at work told me, "You're so old that when God said, 'Let there be light' you were the one that flipped the switch."

Re: Christian One Liners
 

LOL!

Re: Christian One Liners
 

My daughter made a yo' mama joke... Yo mama is so old, she babysat for Cain and Abel... I promptly called my mother and told her to forget any good birthday presents for her

Re: Christian One Liners
 

Just received the same list in an email from a relative last week. These are all great-----(church bulletin fillers).
I enjoyed them again.